We pulled into the car park at Liverpool One, whilst he rang through the order. “I’ll run up and grab it.”

“It’s fine – I’ll come with you if you don’t mind. Fancy stretching my legs, and besides, I can get this ‘cos you cooked, so I owe you a meal.”

“This is on me – you can get breakfast,” he said.

“Deal.” I climbed out the car and we made our way across the shopping centre and up the escalators to the top floor where Pizza Hut was located. “While you’re in there, I’ll head to the bridge to look around.”

“Okay, I’ll walk down there when I’m done.”

I made my way over and stood in the middle of the bridge, looking at the shops below. By now, they were closed, but all brightly lit. I spied a guy lying in a corner, huddled up in a sleeping bag. Feeling bad that I was about to tuck into pizza, I walked away and spotted Jake approaching. In his hands were four large pizza boxes. “Wow, how much did you order?”

“I ordered three and got the fourth free. Special offer.”

“Well, do you mind if we take one of them down to that homeless guy down there? I feel bad eating all this when he doesn’t even have a bed to sleep in for the night.”

“Of course not, and if you want, you take the food down and I’ll run across to Starbucks and grab a few large hot chocolates.”

“Are you sure?” I grabbed the top box from the pile.

“Totally. I’ll meet you down there but be careful.” He leant in and kissed me quickly before rushing off.

I headed to the escalators and walked back on myself toward the man. Approaching slowly and cautiously, he was only young, perhaps twenty. How does a guy this young end up homeless?

“Are you hungry?” I asked.

“Starving, mate,” he replied.

“I got this for you. Only pizza I’m afraid, but it’ll do for a few meals.”

I offered the box and he took it slowly. “Thank you,” he said. His face was dirty, and I noticed the gloves he wore were full of holes.

“I wish I could do more for you, but my friend is just at Starbucks grabbing a hot drink for you. Do you know anyone else that needs some food or drink?”

“There’s a girl down there who sleeps rough, but I’ll share this with her. We kind of look out for one another.”

My heart melted. I led a very narcissistic and self-obsessed life and this guy had nothing but a ratty looking sleeping bag.

“Where is she?”

“She’s usually outside the security office.”

“I’ll go and speak to her if you’re definitely okay with sharing.”

“Go for it. Her name’s Jade.”

“Won’t be long.” I walked away and turned the corner toward the office. I could see somebody lying on the floor, a guy stood over her, and was worried for a moment she was being harassed. I quickened my pace and shouted. “Jade, are you okay?”

I noticed the girl sit forward and look my way, obviously wondering who I was, but I didn’t take any notice of the man she was talking to until I was literally in front of him.

“Matt,” he said, and I looked up and my heart pounded in my chest.

It was Declan, or should I say Father Declan, in his full uniform. The last person I was expecting to see, but I wasn’t surprised to see him there.

“Oh, hi,” I replied. “How are you?”

“I’m very well. Just trying to convince Jade to come and stay in the church hall, but it appears she’s happy to spend the night under the stars.”

“Sorry,” Jade interrupted. “But how the hell do you know my name?”

“Oh, your friend around the corner told me about you. I just took him some food and he wants to share it with you, so I offered to come get you.”

“What’s he got?” she asked.

“Pizza and hot chocolate.”

“I’m there,” she said, sliding out of her sleeping bag. “Sorry, Father, thanks, but another night. Pizza’s too good an opportunity to turn down.”

She rushed off, leaving me stood with Declan. It was good to see him, but there was automatic conflict. I was out with another guy I knew I could fall for, but seeing him, I felt the same way about him.

Declan stood and smiled at me, dazzling me all over again with his smile, and those eyes. “So, how are you, really?”

“All good, what about you?”

“Life is good. I’ve thought a lot about you.”

“Really?” I tried to sound surprised, but I really wasn’t.

“Yes…” he replied, sincerely. “…and I’d like to see you again.”

“You’re seeing me now,” I responded bluntly.

“Socially,” he clarified.

“Priests don’t do social.”

“Why are you making it difficult?” Declan asked. “I thought we could be friends.”

“You know why – it’s too complicated. Sneaking about isn’t my thing, and I worry about how it would impact you. If you weren’t what you were, then yes, I’d want to see you again, but it won’t ever go anywhere.”

“But, we can be…”

“What?” I interrupted, rudely. “Friends. I have enough of those already, and don’t need anymore. Now, it’s good to see you, but I have to go.”

“Matt,” he said, as I walked off, not looking back.

I rounded the corner and Jake was approaching.

Jade and the guy whose name I didn’t know, were already tucking into pizza.

He had four large drinks. “Hot Chocolate, anyone?”

They both held their hands out, but he bent down and put all four drinks before them. “Enjoy,” he said. “Are you ready, Matt?”

“Yep, enjoy guys,” I said.

“Thank you,” they said in unison.

“You’ve got a good heart,” Jake said.

“Nah,” not really,” I said, suddenly realising he was empty handed. “Hey, where’s our food?”

“I took it to the car before I got the drinks. Don’t worry, there’s plenty left.” He put his arm around my shoulder. “Come on, time to go back to my place.”

I was looking forward to getting comfy, but Declan flashed in and out of my mind. I felt awful for treating him so badly, but what could I do?

* * *

I watched as the guy put his arm around Matt, leading him away, and consumed by rage and jealousy, stormed off in the opposite direction. Stuff the homeless. I felt emotions I had no right to be feeling, but regardless of my vocation, I was still a man with feelings.

Trying to squash my rage and carry on with what I was there to do. I paced back and forth before heading back home.

Flopping onto the sofa, I felt totally deflated.

It sounded dramatic, but Matt was the love of my life. I knew him but as far as he was concerned, I was a virtual stranger. I needed to be close to him, to feel his body next to mine. I grabbed my laptop from the table and logged into the Facebook account I’d created to find him initially. Finding his profile, I felt calmer seeing his face smiling back at me. I looked through his photo albums and found the one I loved to look at, of him smiling on a beach, his arm around a dark-haired girl tagged as Bex. I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed before, but I recognised her from the home. So, she took my place, I guessed.

He looked happy and contented in the pictures.

I was sexually attracted to him and found it hard to control myself. My hand had found its way to my zip. Unleashing my cock. I stared at Matt’s picture and stroked my cock until I was ready to cum. The orgasm was mind-blowing. I looked down at my black cum splattered shirt and the guilt snuck through the cracks until I was in full on repentant mode.