Manchester Airport was crowded with holidaymakers. I didn’t want any emotional scenes, but I was saying goodbye to my best friend, and even if I could control my feelings, Declan wasn’t the type to let an audience stop him.

“I never thought I’d be saying goodbye to you again,” Declan said, his eyes bloodshot from crying.

“Then don’t say it. Just say Au Revoir, or bye for now.” I looked at him, the dog collar firmly back in place, and knew he was where he was meant to be. “It isn’t really goodbye anyway. We’ll see each other again.”

“You’re flying to the other side of the world. What else would you call it if not goodbye?” Declan asked.

“My dad’s got cancer, and I need to make my peace with him should the worst happen. If he dies before I get the chance to talk to him, I’ll always wonder, and I’ve done enough of that.” I didn’t feel the need to sugar coat anything, not with Declan. It was how it had to be. “Anyway, blame yourself for this new me.” I twirled on the spot, making him laugh.

“I’m going to miss you more than you know, Matty.”

“Don’t start blubbering again, or you’ll set me off. I’m coming back, I just don’t know when, yet.” A part of me knew I wouldn’t return, but even through my resolve to be honest with everyone, I couldn’t break his heart as well as Jake’s.

“You’ll meet the man of your dreams,” he said, sighing, “some blonde Aussie Adonis with muscles everywhere, and that will be it.”

“It’s not like you’re on the list anyway,” I joked. “Although you’ll always be the one that got away.”

“I know, but remember, I’m still human, despite my calling.”

He looked hurt by my choice of words. “I wasn’t criticising you,” I said, trying to make him feel better. “Far from it – I admire the choice you made because I know how much you struggled with it. The church doesn’t deserve you in my humble opinion, but being Father Declan makes you happy, I can see that, even if I wish things were different.”

“Leaving you in the home, then thinking I’d lost you forever was heart-breaking, and for a while afterwards I was certain I’d turned to the church as a way of getting over you, but I was wrong. God did call me into service and now I know, it’s what I’m meant to do with my life.”

“You know, if you ever change your mind…”

“I know,” Declan said, a grin on his face. “And if that day ever comes I promise, you’ll be the first to know.”

I wouldn’t hold my breath. “You and me, married, two kids, huge mortgage, the works.”

“And what about Jake?” Declan asked.

“I made my peace with him last night. He’s the most amazing man and I’m so happy we got to share a part of our lives together.” I felt choked. “I do love him, and he understands why I have to go, even if he doesn’t want me to. We parted as friends and promised to stay in touch, and who knows what the future holds for us? You might end up officiating at our wedding one day.”

“I’m not sure the Vatican is quite ready to concede its stance on gay marriage, and I’m convinced marrying you and Jake isn’t on my bucket list.”

I tittered. “You taught me a lot, you know, and that’s why I’m able to go and do what I have to do.” I did another little twirl, making him laugh again. “This is the new and improved adult version of Matthew.”

“I’m proud of you, Matty.”

“Course you are. My Bradley always was proud of me, wasn’t he?”

“Yes.” And then his tears fell. “But I still don’t want you to go.”

I reached out and pulled him into a hug. A sob caught in my throat. “And I don’t want to leave you behind, but I have to discover who I really am, you know. Grow up and lay the ghosts of my life, especially the last few months to rest.” I desperately wanted him to understand that even though it broke my heart to go, it was for the best. “I can’t be selling my arse when I’m in my forties, can I?” I pushed him gently back and looked at him. The most handsome man I’d ever known.

He pulled away from me. “I don’t think so.” He laughed. “But I’m sure you’d give it a good go.”

“I won’t have to thanks to the money your mum gave me.” I was so pleased he didn’t resent Margaret giving me such a huge gift. “I have plans for it, so watch this space.”

“Nothing you do will ever surprise me, Matty.”

Just then, my mum walked toward us. It couldn’t be time. Not yet. I wasn’t ready.

“Come on, Sweetheart,” she said to me. “We’ll miss our flight.”

“Shit,” I said. “Already.”

“I’m afraid so,” she replied.

Declan looked at me, tears rolling down his cheeks. “So, this is it?”

“Looks like…” My voice cracked. “I love you, my Bradley,” I said, throwing my arms around him. I buried my face into his neck and sobbed. “My Declan,” I whispered.

“And I love you too, don’t ever forget that.” He stroked my hair, well what there was of it. I favoured longer hair, but this new buzz cut I was sporting looked sexy even if I did say so myself. The scar was barely visible, which made me feel better. Besides, there might be a sexy steward who might feel sorry for me induct me into the mile-high club. Of course, I’m joking. It’s the only way to stop myself from bawling my eyes out.

I pulled away and Declan reluctantly let go, staring into my eyes one last time. Then he turned and walked away. I finally let go and cried as Declan walked toward the exit. A part of me wanted to call him back, just one last hug, but I’d made my decision and had to stand by it.

“Come on, darling,” my mum said, encouragingly. “It’s time to go. We’ve got a big adventure on our hands.”

I took my mum’s hand and without turning back, walked away from my old life.

I stood and watched as Matt disappeared out of my life once again.

My heart felt heavy. Get out of here before you lose it completely.

Rushing out of the terminal, I was surprised to see Jake standing there, leaning against the bonnet of his car.

“What are you doing here?” I was surprised to see him.

“I thought you could do with a friend, because I know I could.”

I smiled, crossed the road, and pulled him into my arms, both of us in floods of tears.