Our week is half over and it feels like we just got here. It could be because all we do is sit around and gossip, or reminisce about our past, and think aloud about what the future might hold for us. Thing is, we could’ve done this is Beaumont or Los Angeles and saved ourselves a ton of money. Don’t get me wrong, being in paradise is great. Being doted on by staff has its perks, but I miss home.

I miss Harrison. I miss the kids. I miss my condo on the beach that has become my home.

As I stare out into the ocean, the surfers all settle and wait for the next wave to ride in. Harrison taught the girls to surf, and I remember their first time out in the waves I was so scared. Even though I had watched Quinn do it many times, something about the girls being out there freaked me out.

But they conquered. Peyton and Elle learned to ride the waves, right along with Harrison and Quinn. It’s hard to put a finger on what the girls have taught Harrison. When he came into our lives, he had everything, except for a wife, and he didn’t need that. I had a hard time fathoming why a man would want a widow with two small children.

I asked him once and his reply was, “Why wouldn’t I?”

My phone rings, tearing my eyes away from the surfers. The picture I use of Quinn shows on the display on my phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mom,” he says. Just hearing him makes my day brighter. “Are you having fun?”

“I am, sort of. I miss you guys. I’ve been thinking we need a family vacation.”

“That’d be fun. Maybe we should go skiing around Christmas?”

“Oh yes, that would be lovely, although Peyton may want to go somewhere warm.”

Quinn laughs because he knows I’m right. “Probably. We’ll compromise and do two weeks. One in Vail and the other wherever she wants to go.”

Before Harrison and I took the plunge and became a couple, I had heard horror stories about merging two families. I had nightmares about the girls not getting along with Quinn or him tormenting the girls. The thought that they’d grow up hating each other was enough to make me sick. Thankfully, the kids proved the statistics wrong.

“That sounds like a plan. So, what are you up to today?”

“Nothing much. I’m thinking about driving down to see Dad, maybe take the boards out.”

“That’s what I’m doing now, watching the surfers. I think you guys would love it down here.”

“Did you go on the big water slide?”

I start to laugh. “No, that’s today. I’m just waiting for your aunts to be ready to go. I think we’re swimming with the dolphins too. Your dad and uncles certainly spared no expense making sure we were well taken care of.”

“Did you expect anything different?”

My head shakes, even though he can’t see me. “Honestly, no. But I was under the impression this was supposed to be a low-key affair. I don’t know if Josie and Katelyn know this or not, but we have a bodyguard. He hangs in the shadows but he’s there, watching.”

“Lurking,” he adds.

“Quinn, you know it’s for protection.”

When the kids were little and word got out that the band was living in Beaumont, the paparazzi were sometimes relentless. They weren’t always around unless the guys had a new album coming out or they were on tour and reporting some ridiculous scandal. The guys didn’t take too kindly to the kids being followed, and hired bodyguards. It was for their protection, but when you’re a teenager and trying to date, having someone watching your back can be a bit unwelcoming.

“I know, but doesn’t mean I had to like it. Anyway, I wanted to check to see how your trip was going and thought you’d want to come up when you get home and check out my new set? I have a few new gigs lined up. One is at this pretty happening coffee shop.”

“You know I’ll be there, Quinn.”

“I love you, Mom.” He hangs up before I can return the sentiment. Deep down, I know he knows that I love him, but I like telling him. When he was younger, he liked to hear it. I think it was reaffirming for him to know that he was loved, especially with how Alicia had treated him and his dad.

I’ve never understood how a mother could do that, especially to someone like Quinn. Although, had she met him, I fear we would’ve been entangled in a war over custody, visitation, and money. For the longest time, that’s what I thought she wanted, but Harrison told me she never asked for a dime. The day she showed up at his apartment with Quinn in his carrier, she just left them there. Every day, I thank God she didn’t want to be a mother to that boy because I did, and I have cherished every moment since he was brought into my life.

Now that I’ve spoken with Quinn, I press the number for Peyton. I know she’ll be awake and more willing to talk. Unlike her sister, Peyton doesn’t stay up partying all night. Elle tells me it is part of her degree that she needs to be on the scene looking for talent. Harrison and Quinn agree with her, while I call bullshit. But what the hell do I know? I’m only the mother.

“Hey, Mama,” Peyton says as she answers the phone. “Please tell me it’s freezing cold down there because that’s the only thing that is going to get me through today.”

“You’ll be fine. They have those giant heaters on the field. If you get cold, stand by one.”

“I think those are for the players,” she tells me.

“Feign innocence. Bat your eyelashes at the security guard. Ooh, better yet, flirt with one of the players and maybe he’ll give you one of those super big jackets that we always see Noah wearing.”

Peyton laughs loudly. “I’m not doing that, Mom. I’ll be sure to bundle up.”

Elle would. That’s the difference between the two girls. Elle won’t think twice about using her sexuality to get what she wants. It’s bothersome, but seems to be the norm in Hollywood. Harrison tells me all the time that Elle has strong morals and just because she’s flirting doesn’t mean she’s selling herself out.

Peyton, on the other hand, is reserved, but knows when to turn on the charm. She doesn’t overdo it often; she prefers the background over the limelight. Not sure how that is going to work for her since she wants to be behind the desk on national television.

“Do you think I’ll be able to see you on TV today?”

“Probably not. The cameras focus mostly on the players and coaches. No one really cares about the sideline reporters.”

“Well I do, and so does everyone else you know.”

“Noah says that I have to stand way in the back, behind the boom mic so that I don’t get run over.”

“Wait, is there a chance you’ll get trampled?” I ask, now worried that she might get hurt.

“I doubt it. It’s not like in high school when I could have my toe on the sideline. I’ll be on the field, but during game play, media is required to stand in one spot.”

“Phew, okay. Oh hey, I was talking to Quinn a few minutes ago and I’ve decided that we need a vacation. He wants to ski—”

“Ugh, I live in Chicago and it’s snowing.”

“And he suggests we go somewhere warm for a week. Wherever you want to go.”

“Yes! That is what I’m talking about. A week sitting by the fire place in a lodge while my overly sun-kissed family skis and a week basking in the sun while you guys stay inside with the AC.”

It takes me a minute to realize that she’s being sarcastic. I sigh heavily, knowing there isn’t any way to appease everyone.

“Well, if you have another suggestion, your father and I would be happy to hear it.”

“It’s just…”

I know what she’s going to say, but she refuses to finish her sentence. If Elle and she had gone to school together, things would be different. Peyton wanted them to be at the same school, while Elle wanted something completely different. It’s not unheard of with twins.

“We’ll work it out when I get home. Maybe we’ll invite everyone.”

“The days of all of us taking family vacations are long gone. Noah’s too busy.”

“I suppose you’re right. The days of big family vacations are long past us.”

“Yep, sucks,” she says. “Okay, I should probably go and read my notes on the players. I don’t want to get caught not knowing my stuff.”

“That would never happen. I’m so proud of you, Peyton.”

“Thanks, Mom. Love you.”

“Love you too, baby girl.”

Once we hang up, I’m back to staring at the surfers. A few wipe out, causing me to laugh. Every time Harrison falls off his board, he tells me it was planned and that he needs to do that every now and again to psyche himself out. I let him think that I believe him and tell him that he crashed gracefully.

I decide to call Elle, not caring whether I wake her up or not. She answers on the fifth ring, gasping for air. I close my eyes and try to block out any imagine that pops into my mind about why she can’t breathe.

“Aren’t you on vacation?” she asks.

“Hello, my darling daughter. How are you?”

“Hi, Mom. Busy.”

“Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No. Maybe. I’m trying to get dressed before Quinn gets here. He called and begged me to head down with him today.”

My heart soars, filling with love. “Oh, okay. Well, I had spoken to your brother and sister today and didn’t want you to feel left out.”

“No worries, Mom. Quinn filled me in. Family vacation. Two weeks. One warm. One cold. Got it. Quinn’s here, gotta go. Love you.”

I pull my phone away from my ear and watch the call go dead. She is so opposite from Peyton, but used to be her shadow. It wasn’t until college that she developed this new sense of freedom. I know she doesn’t always need me, but dammit, I’m her mother and I need her sometimes.

Instead of calling Harrison, I send him a text. I don’t know if he’s already surfing or what. For all I know, he’s playing the drums and won’t answer anyway.

Take care of my babies. Don’t forget Peyton’s game is on.

You forget they’re my babies too. I love you, Katelyn. Everything will be fine.

Enjoy your time with your friends.

Noah’s game is on too. We’ll be watching both.

I love you

I know he won’t text back because he doesn’t want to take away from this trip. He knows how important it is for Josie, Jenna, and me to get away and not worry about what’s happening back home. What he doesn’t understand is that back home is where I’d rather be. It’s not that I don’t like being here; it’s just that I want everyone together.