Chapter One – Nick

Tears fill my eyes as I watch Toby playing by himself on the floor with the new train set that I’ve just bought for him to try and cheer him up. I know that he’s missing his mom today and I feel really bad for it. Of course, he’s going to miss his mother, any boy no matter what age needs that maternal figure, but unfortunately there’s nothing I can do about it. Eight months ago, just before Toby’s sixth birthday, I caught Liz in bed with my best friend and business partner at the time, Pete, and our whole world imploded.

That moment crushed me, I really didn’t see it coming. I never thought that Liz would do that to me. I assumed we were happy, that things were going well. Okay, so maybe our eight year marriage had gone a little bit quieter since Toby was born, the passion wasn’t quite what it was, but I still loved her with everything I had.

And Pete. Oh my God, Pete. He was a friend from college, someone that I’ve known my whole life. He was the sort of guy who you didn’t even need to tell him ‘bros before hos’ because it was an unsaid thing. Or so I thought. I couldn’t believe that he would betray me for my wife, I never would’ve expected it. I wouldn’t even look at him as a threat because he was my best mate. It was fucking crazy.

There was a big fall out, a massive row between us all. It got crazy for a while. The situation was toxic and unhealthy for my son, so I sent them both away. I cut them both from my life completely. The worst part of it all was Liz’s cold words to me as she walked out. “No, I don’t want to have access to Toby anymore, I don’t care. All I want is half of your money, just what I’m owed after putting up with you for all these years.”

How can any mother not want to see their child? Toby is an amazing kid, sweet, kind, innocent, loving… the perfect son. I can’t believe that she turned her back on him without a care in the world. Clearly, she never loved either of us. That much has been made abundantly clear. Even more so during divorce proceedings where she reiterated what she said. She just didn’t say that she wanted nothing to do with Toby in anger, but she meant it. Because of that, I happily handed over half of my fortune to her to get her out of both of our lives.

Now, I have nothing. I lost my wife, my best friend is gone, I had to be bought out of the business so I don’t need to see them all the time, and half my money is gone. I have what I’ve got left, and Toby. I wouldn’t change it for the world, now that she’s gone it’s much better without her, but it isn’t where I thought my life would be. I assumed that I would still be working my ass off, bringing in the money, and coming home to my family. This apartment is lonelier. I do what I can to keep Toby happy, but it isn’t the easiest thing in the world.

“You want something to eat?” I asked Toby, gulping back my emotion. “You hungry, son?”

“Can I have soup, please?” he asks me in a quiet voice. “Tomato, please?”

Even little things like these break my heart. Toby always used to have a sandwich for lunch, but ever since Liz left he refuses. It’s just a little thing, but to me it says a lot. He’s hurt by what his mother did.

I go into the kitchen and put the soup on in the pan, my mind spinning as I go. I’m not hurt over Liz anymore, I’m glad that she’s gone, I don’t want someone like her here anymore, but I hate it for Toby’s sake. That kills me, but I think the loneliness does too. Knowing that Liz and Pete did something wrong, and they’re still together and happy, and I’m the one who wanted to keep my marriage together and I’m the one who’s lonely.

I have a whole lot of love to give and no one to give it to. It’s a very sad situation.

Ring, ring… ring, ring… ring, ring…

There’s always a spike of anxiety when my cell phone rings, I have the funny feeling that it’s going to be Liz. I don’t know why I feel that way, she’s not one to call, not even to check up on her son, but I have the fear anyway. Of course, it isn’t. It’s Dan, an advertising agent who I befriended through the business world way back. He isn’t a friend as such, my life is too different from his to maintain that, but I like him. He keeps me in the loop with things when he really doesn’t have to. It’s nice, I appreciate it more than he knows.

“Hey, Dan,” I answer warmly. “What’s going on?”

“Hey, Nick, I just wanted to check in to see if you’re still okay for Friday?”

“Friday?” I rack my brains, trying to work out what I’ve forgotten. “What’s Friday?”

“The Business Associates dinner and award ceremony. You’re being honored so you need to be there.”

“Oh, right yes!” I forgot that I’ve already asked Mom to babysit. My brain is all over the place, taking care of Toby consumes me entirely sometimes. “Of course, sorry I forgot for a moment. Yes, I’ll be there.”

“With a plus one? Just so I can get the seating arrangement sorted out.”

Plus one… there hasn’t been a plus one in my life since my marriage ended. I haven’t even had a fling. I know I should move on, especially if I want to cure this lonely feeling, but I haven’t as yet. “Erm, I don’t know…”

“I just want to warn you…” He sounds awkward and I have a funny feeling that I know what might be about to come. I brace myself and slide my eyes closed while I wait. “Liz plans to be there with Pete.”

I gasp in a couple of times, trying to steady my breath. I want their relationship to fall apart. It isn’t fair for them to be happy. I hate it, they are the bad guys in this story, it isn’t fair for me to be alone.

“I’ll bring a plus one,” I rasp back. “I will be bringing a date. Thank you for letting me know.”

“Right, good.” Dan pauses for a moment and I half expect him to say something, but he doesn’t. He seems to think better of it at the last moment. “I guess I’ll see you there then. It should be a really good night.”

I don’t know what to say to that, it all feels a bit false to me. Being honored in business when I’m not even in business anymore is ridiculous. I keep thinking I should start, but it’s hard to consider doing it alone. I know that I could, but it’ll be weird. Starting again from scratch, all feels very much overwhelming.

“I’ll see you on Friday night. Goodbye, Dan. Thanks again.”

Once I hang up the phone, I fire off a quick text to my mom to check that she’s still okay to babysit on Friday night. Usually she’s a great help, I haven’t ever had any time where she’s refused to help, she loves her grandson so much. She’s the ‘mother figure’ now, which is great. After I sent her a text and I get a positive reply, I set on with my next mission. I take the soup to Toby, I sit him up at the table to get him started, and I scroll through all the numbers in my phone to see if there is anyone in there who I can take to this event with me.

It’s too late to get a date and I cannot get an escort in place, that’s too crazy and I know Liz will see through the rouse immediately. I need someone on my arm who I can trust, who will play along, and who I’ll have fun with. I don’t get out much now, I do want to have a good time. I want Liz to see that I don’t care.

I scroll through the names rapidly, my heart hammering against my chest the entire time. None of the names immediately jump out at me, I can’t think of anyone that I like enough, not until I get to the ‘M’s’.

“Melissa,” I mutter idly to myself, actually considering her.

“Is Melissa coming over?” Toby’s eyes light up. He absolutely adores her and I can understand why. She’s great with him. Despite her busy life as an interior decorator, she always makes time to come and hang out with him. She’s been around ever since Liz left so she’s also filled in that role a little bit too.

“I was thinking that maybe we could go and see her after lunch. What do you think?”

He smiles and nods eagerly, getting on board with my plan without even thinking about it. Melissa is actually more perfect than anyone else for so many reasons, and the more I think about it, the more I want this to happen. I met her in middle school when we were both in a very awkward phase of life. Her love for rock music and skateboarding immediately drew me to her because she wasn’t like any of the other girls who were far too into make up and gossiping for my liking, they were like a completely different species. I immediately knew that we could have fun so I struck up a friendship by mentioning the name of the band on her tee shirt. She was scathing at first, she assumed I couldn’t possibly know anything about the band, but in the end, she came around and we started to have the right laugh, first at the other students who we didn’t understand, but then it was between us. No one else mattered, they stopped existing for us. We were in our own little bubble.

Our friendship grew quickly and lasted all the way through high school as well. Even when I dated girls and she dated guys, we remained firm friends. If any of our partners didn’t like it, they were long gone. We didn’t care, our friendship was more important. For a little while, during college and when I first met Liz, we drifted apart just a little bit but it never died completely. I always knew that she was there and she did the same. We still talked, just not as much. Liz knew that. She was envious of the closeness that we shared, even though it wasn’t that stronger any longer. She always thought that there might be something going on and it made her incredibly angry and jealous. Even though I haven’t even kissed Melissa and she was fucking my business partner. Irony at his best.

She will hate it, but more than that we’ll have a good time. I might not be the scruffy boy I once was and she isn’t the punk girl, we’ve both grown up, but those elements of our friendship are still there.

‘Hey, Meli Bear,’ I use my little cutesy nickname for her that softens her up. ‘You in this afternoon? I have a little man who misses you loads… oh, and I also need a favor? Nick x’

I don’t have to wait long to get my positive reply, it comes through almost instantly which makes me grin. All of a sudden, I’m starting to feel so much better about going to this event. With someone as awesome as Melissa on my arm, it’s sure to be amazing. Now I just have to hope that she says yes…