Quill
I couldn’t believe I even told Black that much. It was just one word, but the heaviness and power of it was immense.
“Your family?” Black spoke so softly, like he thought I was going to bolt, and I really wanted to. I wanted to find a hole and crawl inside it.
“Can we not do this, Black? Can’t I just be flighty Quill who ravishes you with my eyes, makes you horny with my words, and drives you batty?” I wanted off this topic badly.
“What makes you think you make me horny and… No, don’t deflect.” He shook a finger at me and I was glad to at least see his lips curl up. “You’re good at that.”
“You’re a harder nut to crack than most thought.” Sitting back, I regarded Black with the same uncertainty he seemed to show me. “I don’t want to talk about my family, my past, or my life. Just know Ronnie has the knowledge that would open the gates, so to speak.”
The flare of Black’s nostrils braced me for his response. “I get pasts, we all have them, and most aren’t pretty. But in order to keep you safe, I need to know what I’m fighting.”
And that was the thing, his need to save me. “You don’t need to protect me. Just let Ronnie be. He will leave me alone soon enough. Every time you or your guys ruffle his feathers, you start the cycle all over again.”
While Black was all force and bending of the wills, he was generally in control of his temper. So when he kicked the table in front of him, sending it flying and crashing against the wall, I was taken aback. On reflex, I covered my head and huddled into a ball on the chair.
“Small target, be a small target,” I whispered to myself.
When no one came running in, I feared I was about to get hit. Why would they run in to save me from Black? He was their boss, I was nobody.
But no blow came. No screaming or hair pulling, no degradation.
“Quill.” I felt the air of his words against my arm that was securely covering my head. His voice was low, coaxing. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
I’d heard that before many times, and the second I let my guard down, that was when they struck. I wasn’t an idiot. I stayed in my ball; protected, safe.
“What did you do?” I heard Lana’s voice, but I refused to look up.
“I got angry. I didn’t touch him. I’d never do that.” Black’s voice was almost a plea.
“Of course, you wouldn’t,” Lana said, and I felt hands on my arm. “Sweetheart, it’s Lana, can you look at me?”
Slowly, I peeked out, seeing only Lana’s face. Her eyes brimmed with tears. It was quiet and as I peered around the room, I saw Black’s back to me. He was looking out the window. His arms were wrapped around himself and he was taking big breaths. Lee, Jones, and Ginger were cleaning up the mess. Only Lana was paying attention to me.
“There you are.” She smiled. “Black’s bark is bigger than his bite. Please don’t be afraid of him.”
“I’d like to go home now.” I said it so only Lana would hear, but apparently, Black had impeccable hearing.
“Quill, I’m sorry I reacted how I did. It’s just… Look, I can’t explain it, but you can’t just give up on this. You can’t let Ronnie win just because he has information. You can fight back and I will help you.”
“Why?” I untangled myself, glad when Lana stayed close. “I’m just a delivery boy. I won’t mess up again. I will deliver every package no matter what.”
Black furrowed his brow, his expression that of disgust. “Is that what you think this is about? My deliveries?”
“Why else would you care?”
When his face began to turn red, I feared another outburst and hid behind Lana. Not my proudest moment.
“Jesus, Quill, stop cowering. I’m not going to hurt you. I’d do this for any of my guys.” He took a step toward me, but stopped when a whimper escaped me.
“You didn’t help Bill and Mace.” I hadn’t meant for that to slip out. I’d heard that Bill had called Black for help when he and Mace were stuck in the school at the hands of Zagan Marks. Mace lost a finger and was now scarred. Black never got there in time. He was supposed to be watching, and he never came.
“You don’t understand that situation, Quill. Don’t judge me for that.”
“You have cameras in my place, watching me. If I need help, are you going to be too busy for me?” The terror began to subside and in the company of the others, I let anger take over. “I don’t judge you, Black. I don’t judge anyone. I just want to live my life one day at a time and maybe, not always patting myself on the back for surviving it, but be proud because I lived it.”
Black shook his head, his gaze locked on mine. “You don’t know me, Quill. You don’t know how hard some of the decisions I have to make are. I can’t be everywhere, you’re right. Sometimes, I am too late. I knew Bill and Mace could get through that. I won’t say more to you about it because it isn’t your business.” He took another few steps toward me. This time, I didn’t back away. My mind knew I was safe.
“You need to understand something, Quill, I want you to survive your life so you can live it. That is why I have to protect you.”
There was a time when Black questioned killing me. I knew he knew that. While I didn’t know anything about his life or his family, I got a sense that his people were his family.
“I don’t mean to interrupt,” Jones said. “But I have a way you can make Bartholomew aware that Quill is off limits without tearing his face off.”
“Yeah, it was all his idea, sure,” Lee mumbled.
“Does whose idea it was really matter?” Jones snapped at Lee, and it was like being in the middle of a couple fighting. There was a vibe to it.
“Both of you better work out your shit before we meet again. I am not dealing with this.” Black held two fingers up and pointed at both of them. “Now, what’s your idea?”
Jones eyed Lee one last time before he spoke. “Go to the charity ball with Quill.”
“What?” Black and I both said at the same time.
“Hear me out.” Jones grabbed something off the printer and held it out for Black. “It’s a charity for LGBT youth in Haven Hart. Mr. Hart has it every year even though he has yet to ever be seen at one. Anyone who’s anyone wants to go in the hopes they will meet the elusive man.”
“I don’t have an invitation,” Black said as he handed me the paper. It was an online article talking about it being the tenth year for Rainbow Hart Charity Ball for LGBT Youth.
Lee smiled like the Cheshire cat. “That isn’t a problem, I called Mace.” He held up his hand when it looked like Black was going to protest. “Relax. He knows Poe, who is Mr. Hart’s assistant. Or at least, Bill knows Poe, I should say. Either way, Poe said he will put you down with a plus one. If you choose not to go, no big deal. But the option is there.”
“When did you do all this, exactly?” Black asked, seeing as we all had just found out about it a few minutes ago.
“Ginger told Jones and me about it late last night. I got the idea to contact Mace about it while you and Quill were having your little powwow in here.” He gestured to the leftover mess from Black’s temper tantrum. “Poe was quick on the reply. If you want this, it can be done.”
I peered over at Black, who was now staring out the window. “It’s not a bad idea.”
Was he serious? “You want to go out in public, to a ball, with me?”
Black whipped his head around, his golden braid swinging from one shoulder to the other. “Why wouldn’t I? It won’t raise any brows if I take a man to an LGBT ball.”
While I was ninety-nine percent sure Black swung both ways, I wanted to be sure. “I didn’t think you were gay.”
“I’m not.” He narrowed his eyes. “I’m bisexual. I can handle dancing with you.”
“Dancing?” I squawked, and everyone chuckled.
“This will be fun. We can take the company card and go get you an amazing suit.” Lana linked her arm with mine.
“But I have to work tomorrow night.” I was taking in everyone’s expressions, waiting for the just kidding, you’re not going one. But no one said it.
“I’ll handle that. Just find something. I will see you tomorrow night at six.” He inched slightly closer to me. “Don’t think we aren’t going to talk more about things later.”
Before I got a chance to say anything else, Lana was pulling me out of Black’s office.