Mia skips into the house, a bright pink binder in hand, making a show of taking her seat next to Austin at my table.

“Nice of you to join us, Meems.” I cross my arms and glare at her.

She rolls her eyes and folds her hands on top of her binder. “Relax, Lollipop. It was important.”

“Yeah?” My brows jump. “Well, next time you plan to make us wait an extra twenty minutes, after making me get up early on a Sunday to cook you fuckers breakfast, don’t.”

Nate squeezes my knee and I turn my glare on him, making him chuckle and raise his palms in surrender.

“Come on, guys,” Parker grins, placing a brand new steaming cup of coffee in front of me. “You don’t mess with Lolli and her sleep. Or her French toast.” He winks and takes the spot to my left. “Or before she’s had her coffee.”

“We get it, man,” Nate grumbles.

Grinning, I bump my shoulder into Parker, making him smile into his cup.

Mia’s eyes pinch, but she drops her gaze to her binder, opening it slowly. “Anyway,” she looks up and locks eyes with me. “Spring Break-”

“No.” It comes out fast and harder than I would have liked, making all eyes turn to me, but I keep mine locked on Mia’s, kind of wishing I could smack her for making this a group conversation.

“Mexico. One week. Us and a good two dozen others or so from school. We’ll celebrate your birthday...” She trails off, sinking into her shoulders slightly.

I can see the nods and grins around me, but again, my eyes stay trained on Mia’s green ones. “No.”

She sits back slowly, giving me a sad smile, and my chest starts to rise and fall rapidly. My nostrils flare as my lungs fight for air that my stupid body won’t allow. My legs bounce uncontrollably, and my mind fights to stay in the now.

I drop my gaze to my lap and count the shields on my Captain America pajama pants.

One, two, three...

Nate’s hand finds my limp one that has dropped alongside my chair, and his fingers lace through mine. He waits for my gaze to shift. Waits for my fingers to close around his. Then, he squeezes. Gently.

My eyes fly to him and his chin drops a fraction of an inch.

A message.

I’m here...

He’s here.

Nate leans over, slowly placing his lips just behind and slightly below my ear, in his spot. My head leans into him as he places a slow, closed-mouth kiss to my skin, lingering there for a moment, and my body decompresses instantly.

He’s... got me.

And I think he does.

“Does... what?” Austin drawl, and my eyes - that I didn’t realize had closed - fly open and shift around the table.

Parker’s staring into his coffee mug, Mia’s eyes are flitting back and forth between Nate and me, and Austin looks thoroughly confused.

Nate chuckles beside me, giving my hand another quick squeeze before being the first one to reach for the food in front of us – cold food, I might add.

Once we all have our plates piled high, and warmed back up, we settle into a nice Sunday breakfast.

I glance at Mia, finding her pushing her eggs around her plate, one shoulder dropped completely so her forearm can rest on the wooden table. I peek at Nate who, shocker, is looking at me. He sees the question in my eyes, the one I haven’t even figured out myself, and gives me a one-sided grin, his gaze sliding to Mia, then coming back to me, before focusing on the ridiculous amount of bacon piled on his plate.

“So, where are we staying, Meems?” I ask, taking a quick drink of coffee before meeting her eyes. “In Mexico?”

Her eyes glaze over, but she holds it in and a big beautiful smile shows off her perfect teeth. That’s all she needed because she launches into a good hour-long speech, explaining each and every detail of the trip she’s apparently already planned.

Sneaky bitch.

After we eat and clean up as a group, I hand her my credit card and tell her to pay for both our rooms.

“You mean you don’t want to share?” She lifts a brow, a smirk on her lips.

Happy that she doesn’t fight me about the money thing, I smile. “Hell no,” I tell her, wiggling my eyebrows.

She winks, bouncing over to where my laptop sits on the coffee table. Austin and Nate plop down next to her.

In the kitchen, I find Parker lingering against the counter.

“Hey.” I sidle up next to him.

He grins down at me, but it doesn’t meet his eyes. “Hey.”

He must see my worry – another new emotion - because he reaches out and jostles me, chuckling lowly. “I’m good, Lolli Bear.”

“You’re a liar, but okay.” I grin at him, leaning against the countertop next to him. “You thought anymore about California?”

He doesn’t miss the way my voice lowered at the questions and cuts a glance toward the others – toward Nate. He looks back at me, his eyes shifting back and forth between mine, before a wide smile breaks out across his face.

“Shut the fuck up?” My heart rate spikes.

He laughs and opens his arms.

With a quiet squeal, I jump into Parker’s arms, squeezing him tight, only to pull back seconds later and look up at him. “Seriously?”

He grins down at me, running his hands up and down my forearms. “Really. Give me the details later, but I need the general area now, so I can see what college options are around. But, yeah, Lolli Bear. I’m ready to get out of here. Text me the info later.”

“You won’t regret this.” I squeeze his shoulders.

His smile falters slightly, but he shakes it off, pats my arm, and walks into the living room.

When I turn to follow, I find Mia staring at me with questioning eyes. I playfully stick my tongue out at her and she turns back to the computer screen.

“Okay, Lolli, we’re all booked and they’re holding a dozen other rooms in the same wing for whoever.” She turns to the boys. “So, you guys better get on it before word gets out or you’ll be on the opposite side of the resort.”

I plop down next to Nate, who pulls me onto his lap. “Austin, when did you say you turn eighteen?”

He smirks. “Last October, according to the ID I just bought.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“I should have known,” I laugh, dropping my head to Nate’s shoulder.

For the next twenty minutes, Mia shows us all the things we ‘have’ to do while there, then shuts the laptop and sits back. “This is going to be fun! I’m excited!”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, guys. You’re fed, vacay’s set, now beat it. I got shiz to do, followed by doing absolutely nothing.” I let out an overexaggerated sigh, pulling myself to my feet, and they all follow suit.

Mia laughs and pulls Austin to the door, who waves over his head on their way through it. “Thanks again, Lolli. Later.”

Parker wraps me in a half-hug, kissing my temple lightly. “Bye, Lolli Bear.”

“Later, Hero.” I smile at him, reaching to my right to capture Nate’s large hand in mine as Parker makes his way out the door.

“Guess I’ll talk to you later.” Nate sighs.

“You leaving?” I tilt my head, looking up at him.

His brows pinch slightly, and he wraps his hands around my lower back. “Am I not?”

I shrug, and run my hands up his chest. “If you have stuff to do or whatever, that’s fine.”

The corner of his mouth twitches slightly. “I don’t, but did you not just tell everyone to go?”

“Everyone? Yeah.” I look at him. “You? No.”

His arms tighten around me, bringing me even closer to him.

“You feel like running around doing boring shit with me, then watching a movie or something?”

He eyes me for a few minutes, then nods.

“I was going to borrow Mia’s car...”

“No need.” His eyes drop to my lips.

I lick mine. “Okay.”

Then all hell breaks loose and before I know it, we’re both naked and sweaty, laying on the living room carpet.

Hours later, the sun has set and we’re in my bed, listening to music, partially dressed, him feeding me cookie dough ice cream.

We didn’t get shit done.

“You know, for a girl who loves football, it’s kinda strange that you don’t have cable. We could be watching a game right now.”

“I needed a break this season.” I give him a tight smile.

“I could,” he hesitates, “you know, pay for it, if you want it or whatever.”

I lean over him and kiss his lips, licking the drop of vanilla he left behind. “It has nothing to do with money, Handsome. But thank you.” I smile.

When I go to pull back, he shoves the carton and spoon aside quickly, and pulls my left leg over so I’m straddling him.

He looks up at me, his eyes searching mine for a few moments, and I watch as his lids lower, but not from arousal.

“Kalani...” My name leaves his lips on a breath and my insides tighten.

His tone is raw and divulging, and panic fills me.

He sees it and a dejected, almost tired, expression takes over his perfect face.

With semi-shaky hands, I run my fingers from his thick hair, down his neck and back up, watching as he blinks slowly up at me, his long lashes scratching at his skin.

One of his hands leaves my thigh and slides across my cheek, where it pauses briefly before tucking my hair behind my ear.

“I like when you do that.” My voice is thick and extra raspy.

“I know.” He smiles softly up at me.

“How do you know?”

“Because, you hold your breath every time I do.”

My chest cramps. “Is that why you do it? Because I like it?”

Say no...

“No.” He grins. “I started to because it was the only gentle thing you’d allow. Then,” his eyes roam around my face, “I had to keep doing it because I needed to feel your skin against mine. And now...” He runs his fingers down the length of my hair, letting the curl fall from his fingertips when he reaches the end. “Now I do it because my body craves the look you give me when I do.”

“What look?” I breathe, my body growing heavier, more relaxed.

“The one you’re giving me right now.” His hands glide across my collarbone. “While your eyes are low and aroused, they’re also full of fear and wonder. You’re scared of what you’re feeling when I’m touching you, but you’re dying for me to do it again.” He leans forward and kisses my neck, his hands sliding down my back to rest on my ass. “But you don’t understand any of it, so you put up that wall of yours.” His nose feathers across my jawline and my eyes flutter closed. “You’re not used to wanting something.” His teeth scrape down my earlobe and my body shudders. His breath warms my ear. “But more than that, you’re not used to needing something.” When I feel him pull back, I open my eyes to meet his, searching.

My breathing speeds up and everything starts to ache, my head, the sensitive spots between my legs, my chest.

“What do I need?” It’s a desperate whisper – a plea, begging him to tell me.

His body, his heart... a Xanax?

I have no idea.

His shoulders drop a little, and when he blinks, he keeps his eyes shut a second longer than necessary. “I think I know, but you have to figure it out on your own, Kalani.”

“How?”

He shrugs.

“What if I don’t? Figure it out, I mean.”

His hands slide under my ass, gripping me as he stands. He sets me on the bed and leans down, his lips hovering over mine. “Then it’ll be me who’s numb.”

He kisses me.

It’s soft and slow and far too short.

He tugs on his track pants and reaches for my hand, pulling me off the bed and walking beside me until we reach the front door where he grabs his keys and slips on his shoes.

I start to pull his shirt over my head but he squeezes my hand, shaking his head.

He pulls his sweater on, kisses my cheek, then drops his forehead to mine. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he whispers, running his hands up and down my arms.

Not trusting my voice, I nod, tilting my head slightly to feather his lips with a kiss.

“Goodnight, Kalani,” he says softly, and walks out the door.

When I close the door behind him, my body sinks against it, my mind at a total loss to understand what’s happening.

“Goodnight, Nate,” I whisper in the nothingness that surrounds me. And for the first time, in as long as I can remember... I feel alone.

“Alright.” Mia spits her gum into a napkin. “Valentine’s Day is next week and I need your help. I want to keep it light and simple. Not an ‘I love you’, but an ‘I love your body and you’re cool’.”

After thanking the hostess who sets down our waters, I scowl at Mia. “You’re asking the wrong person.”

“You have had boyfriends, Lolli... in the past.” She shrugs her sweatshirt off. “What did you do for them?”

“I don’t know, Candy Grams at school. Maybe some chocolate and makin’ out behind the bleachers.”

She gapes at me. “Seriously?”

“What?” I laugh, shrugging. “I was like thirteen, fourteen, last time I worried about that.” Her shoulders droop and she puffs her lips out. “Just do whatever and end it naked. Win-win.”

She purses her lips while shaking her head. Eventually, she gives up and laughs. “God, you are such a guy.”

I grin with my straw in my mouth. “Nothing wrong with closing out the day with a happy ending.”

“Considering I’ve heard Nate leaving your place every night for the last few weeks, I’d have to say I’m aware.” She smiles, then averts her eyes from mine.

“Talk to me, Mia.” Setting my cup down, I cross my arms and tilt my head at her. “You know I don’t like this pussy-footin’ around kind of stuff.”

“Nothing, really.” She nibbles on the inside of her lip. “I was just wondering if, you know...” She finally meets my eyes. “Is it serious, or…?”

My brows pinch and I look past her shoulder, thinking about her question. “I like him. I know that much. And I don’t like the thought of him with anyone else. It’s good the way it is, just day to day, no pressure, ya know?” I look back at her and she nods, her red hair falling over her shoulder.

“You both seem really into each other.” She smiles and leans back in her chair. “I’ve never seen Nate like this and I’ve known him since Kinder.”

I smile and look down at my hands.

She gasps and my gaze flies to hers, finding her mouth and eyes open wide, and her finger pointing at me.

“What?”

“You’re freaking blushing!” She claps excitedly.

“Shut up, Mia.”

“The stone-cold Kalani Lee Embers is blushing,” she sing-songs.

I kick her under the table. “Shut up, bitch.”

She only laughs harder and I join in, my gaze dancing to my left. My laughter dies on my lips when I see Jarrod and Olivia in the booth a space over from us, having heard our entire conversation.

Mia notices my glare and follows my gaze.

Olivia smirks and leans back against the booth. “Wow, Lolli. Every night, huh? Hope you’re on birth control.”

“Why?” Mia asks in a sugary sweet voice. “They’d have the cutest little bambinos. Don’t you think, Lolli?”

But I’m not looking at her.

My eyes are locked on Jarrod as he taps on the screen of his phone, looking from it to me in jerky movements.

My eyes pinch at the sides as I replay mine and Mia’s conversation in my head, and my body freezes.

Mia used my full name and Jarrod is a football fan. There’s no way he didn’t put it together. It’s confirmed when he meets my gaze and holds it.

His face is laced with malice. Slowly, one side of his mouth lifts into cynical smirk, and I know he’s figured it out.

It’s not that I’m ashamed or embarrassed about who I am and who my family is – was. I loved my parents, my grandpa, and the life I lived. However, that doesn’t mean I want everyone to know I literally have millions sitting in my bank account. Or that my family is dead. I don’t want whispers or pity, or questions, and I sure as shit don’t need the fake friendships money brings.

In my peripheral vision, I see Mia shift in her seat when she realizes the fun is over.

Along with my heart rate, Jarrod’s smirk grows when he holds his phone out for Liv, but his eyes stay glued to mine. I can see him gauging me, trying to decide which reaction would benefit him the most.

Dick.

Liv, however, couldn’t hide her response.

All eyes shift to her when she gasps, her pink nails lifting to her lips briefly, before she realizes her mistake and zeros in on me. Her gaze is more calculating and confused than Jarrod’s. Her pathetic ass doesn’t get it, I can see it in her icy blue eyes. She’s wondering why I didn’t waltz into school that very first day shouting to the rooftops, “I’m Lee Ember’s granddaughter! Look at me! Love me!”

Bitch.

She stands slowly, reaching for her purse without taking her eyes off me. “I’ve lost my appetite. Let’s go.” Her gaze cuts to Jarrod quickly, who tosses cash on the table while standing.

With that, they make their way out the front door.

“Shit, Lolli,” Mia’s face contorts. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see them there.”

My shaky hand finds my temple, and I inhale deeply. “It’s fine, Meems. I know.” I look to the ceiling.

“You think they’re planning on spreading the word?”

“Honestly?” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I shake my head. “No. I don’t.”

When Mia’s brows jump, I explain.

“She’s shocked right now. She’s all about self-image and anything that will take her a few steps up the invisible social ladder she’s created in her head. She knows if she goes around telling people, it’ll gain me more attention, and that’s the last thing she wants.” I take a drink of water.

“She ran her mouth awhile back, saying I didn’t belong in Nate’s world. Basically, calling me a poser, more or less…” I tilt my head in thought. “This is the last thing she wants people to find out.”

“Yeah, maybe. And Jarrod?”

I frown as I stir the ice in my cup with my straw. “I have no idea...” I look up to find Mia’s worried eyes on me. “But they will use it for something.”

She drops back against her chair. “Yeah.”

“Yeah.”