Chapter Twenty-Four
Lynette
I clutched the brown envelope tightly as I was escorted into a waiting area by an officer in a dark blue uniform. He led me to a chair in the middle of the visiting booths. My heart pounded loudly in my chest.
This would be the first time I’d seen my father after he’d been arrested, and no doubt he hated my guts. I placed the envelope on the table and took a few deep breaths to calm myself.
Officer Reynolds, as it read on his badge, stood beside the door. His presence was comforting. At least I knew there was someone who had my back if my father decided to lash out. Then again, Dad was only violent when he had too much to drink, or anything to drink for that matter.
I wondered how he’d managed these last two weeks without a drop of alcohol. Going through withdrawal must be hard on him. Not that I cared at this point.
The more I thought about him, the more nauseated I felt, but I couldn't back down. I had come too far to quit now.
I’d realized that I wasn't just doing this for me, I was doing this for my mom too. She’d always told me that I deserved to be happy, and that I had to follow my dreams. She told me I could be anything I wanted to be.
It seemed such a long time ago to hear her words.
All I wanted now was to be free, because heaven knows, I’d been caged up for way too long.
The door swung open and I was too afraid to look back over my shoulder. I sat perfectly still until my father, who looked old and haggard, came into view and sat down on the chair on the other side of the table.
“Hello, Dad,” I said, my voice strained.
“Came to visit the piece of shit, did you?” he asked, his words cutting deep. “What are you doing here?”
“This isn’t a social visit, so don’t feel important.” I slid the envelope towards him and said, “I need you to sign these papers.”
“I’m not signing anything.”
“Well, I’m not leaving here until you do.”
He eyed me suspiciously and cleared his throat.
“What are they?”
“I’m selling the bar and using the money to pay off your debts.”
“Ah,” he said with a smirk and sat back in his chair. “So you need me after all. I knew you would come around sooner or later wanting something.”
“No, I don’t, but I thought I’d be decent enough to do it the right way. I’m trying to help you one last time.”
“The right way?” he barked and laughed bitterly. “I’m surprised you even know what that is.”
For once, his words didn’t upset me. I was here to get this done and wasn’t leaving until I did.
“I don't have the patience to deal with your sarcasm, or your patronizing comments. I need you to sign the papers, that’s it. You’ll never see me again, and I can go on with my life.”
“With that cripple boy?”
“I wouldn’t expect you to understand, but I love him.”
“I loved your mother and she left us.”
“You should have also loved me,” I told him.
“I did, but after Delores died...”
“Your love died with her,” I said flatly.
He glanced away, unable to meet my eyes.
“Your mother was the love of my life, and it hurt me to look at you. You’re exactly like her. Even now.” He looked at me, regret in his eyes and nodded. “I’m sorry, Lynette.”
He waited for me to respond, but I didn't. I was done with his sad looks and his expressions that demanded sympathy. I was done giving in to him because I didn't want to seem like a rebellious daughter. I was done with being the one who always just pretended his actions did nothing to hurt me. Most of all I was done pretending that everything was okay, even if it wasn't.
“I’ll do anything to make this right,” he said. “Just get me out of here and I’ll make everything up to you. I promise. Things will be different now. I’m dried out and will do better. The two of us together can fix the bar up and run it right. Tell me what I need to do to fix this.”
“Sign the papers,” my voice sounded stern and filled with authority. I wasn't sure who was more surprised, me or Dad.
He took the papers out of the envelope and I handed him a pen. I showed him where to sign and he did it.
I can’t believe it.
Despite the feelings of disbelief and relief that filled me to the core, I didn't show it, because he didn't deserve to see it. He didn't deserve anything from me any longer.
I was finally done.
I was free.
I nodded at him and took the papers.
“Lynette,” he said suddenly and grabbed my hands. “What about me? You can’t just leave me here. I need a good lawyer, not a public defender.”
Officer Reynolds was by my side instantly.
“Sir, take your hands off her.”
My father released my hands at his command.
I stood up, gave the officer a grateful nod and left. I didn't look back, even though my father kept calling out my name.
I didn't want to look back, because I didn't want him to see that this hurt me as much as it hurt him. I had looked back for far too long and now the only way I wanted to go was forward.
With my eyes looking straight ahead.