Chapter Ten

 

 

My hope that I would never have to see or talk to Liam again was dashed the next day when I practically ran into him in the lobby. My eyes were glued to the stack of mail I’d just retrieved from my box, and my mind was on the letter that looked like it had been addressed in Bryan’s handwriting.

Why was Bryan writing to me?

Why hadn’t he called, or emailed, or texted instead?

My heart started pounding as I stared at it. It could be a number of things—a wedding invitation to that busty chick he’d cheated on me with, a baby announcement, or even just a pissed-off letter telling me how terrible I was and what a horrible girlfriend I’d been.

He was the type of guy who would do that, out of spite. Just to remind me that he was in control, that he still had the power to hurt me.

I closed my eyes against the vicious burn behind them.

It killed me that he still had that power, that I had allowed someone like that to hurt me so inexplicably. That I was still allowing it.

I was so focused on the letter that I didn’t notice a large figure turning the corner of the hallway ahead of me. I walked straight into a hard, male chest. Papers and envelopes flew everywhere.

I swung my arm backward to keep my balance, an embarrassing sound escaping my lips. At the same time, Liam grabbed my waist, his arm snaking around me so he could press his palm flat on my back and keep me from falling.

The movement also brought us so close together that I could have kissed him if I tilted my head back a little.

My breath came in harsh pants. I stared up at him.

Those sexy lips, the intense eyes. He needed a shave again.

God, how I wanted to run my hand along his stubble and feel the scratch of his hair against my palm. I imagined I could still feel the burn of his five o’clock shadow on my face from the last time we’d made out.

For a second, we stared at each other without speaking.

The way he held me so easily reminded me of how strong he was with his body barely containing the energy that threatened to burst from him.

All the memories from the other night rushed over me.

My skin prickled hotly. Blood rushed and settled in areas that made me squirm. My hand clenched and unclenched, wanting to grab something, to grab him. I couldn’t seem to find my words, my breath, or my mind.

And I knew Liam felt the same way.

His gaze fell to my lips immediately and his own parted. The tip of his tongue darted out and touched the corner of his mouth. He sucked in air through his teeth.

“Careful,” he said.

His breath was short. He exhaled, as if he was preparing to say something else.

But then he released me.

And the moment was suddenly over.

Damn!

I blinked in surprise.

It took me a moment to remember that we were in the lobby of my building, and I shouldn’t be thinking about or feeling things for Liam that I already promised both of us I wouldn’t feel.

I found my balance and smoothed my hand over my shirt. My eyes fell to the envelopes that had fallen on the floor, and I bent immediately to retrieve them.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you,” I said.

I gathered my mail to my chest.

“No problem.”

He reached the last envelope before I could. I stood, keeping my weight focused in the heel of my foot, fixing my gaze on his hand. His fingers were tanned, his nails trimmed short. I remembered those hands on me, touching me in all the right ways, stroking me the way I liked. My legs pressed together as I felt a familiar twinge deep in my gut.

“Thanks,” I said, taking the last envelope from him. I was careful not to let our fingers touch.

“It’s really nice seeing you,” Liam said in a forcefully casual voice.

I nodded. “Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “It’s been awhile.”

Not since last time, I stopped myself from saying. Because then we would be thinking about last time and it would be awkward. Because of course I wasn’t thinking about it already. Because of course I wasn’t constantly thinking about it all the damn time.

There was a long moment of silence. “Have you been seeing anyone else?” Liam asked.

I looked at him, my eyebrows raised. Was he jealous?

“No,” I found myself admitting.

I imagined that a relieved look passed over his expression, but it was probably just my hopeful heart giving an extra beat and causing my vision to blur.

“I have a date tonight,” I added cheerfully.

His jaw tightened. His chin lifted and dropped. “Good.”

Good?

What the hell?

My chest felt tight.

“It was nice seeing you, Liam,” I said, hugging my mail closer.

He didn’t move out of the way. Instead, he widened his stance, as if deliberately intimidating me with his larger size. “You too.”

I swallowed. I didn’t like the way he was looking at me. His eyes roaming my face, moving down the length of my body, lingering in areas that grew warm and tingly even though I tried to stay aloof and indifferent to his large presence.

I hated my reaction to him. The way my blood heated and the hair on the back of my neck seemed to stand up. The way my nerves electrified around him.

My skin was too warm, my heart beat loudly, and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. I had the strangest urge to move closer, my lungs craving his sweet, alluring scent, my body wanting to feel his warmth around me.

“It’s funny,” he said.

His voice, so deep, sent a shiver down my spine.

I blinked a few times. “What is?”

He crossed his arms. “We’re neighbors, and yet we never see each other.”

I nodded. “That is funny.”

“It almost seems like you’re avoiding me.”

A chill passed through me and I tried not to shiver. I forced a laugh from my throat instead. It sounded painfully phony.

“No, of course not,” I said, grinning a bit too broadly. “Why would I avoid you?”

“Because of what happened the last time we saw each other.” He smiled down at me. “I thought we agreed it wasn’t going to be awkward.”

I paused. “It’s not.”

“Really?” He narrowed his gaze.

“Not awkward at all.” I shifted my weight. What did he want? “But I should get going. Since I have a hot date to get ready for.”

His face seemed to darken. “Right.” But he didn’t move out of that way. “Are you going to wear that dress I saw you in?”

I frowned at him in confusion. “Which dress?”

He leaned closer, his voice lowered. His breath whispered over my ear. “The dress you were wearing the night you gave me those delicious cookies.”

My breath hitched.

I could smell his aftershave and the sexy scent of his skin. He was standing so close. If I turned just a little, my lips would brush his.

“No, I’m not going to wear that dress,” I said in a small voice.

“Good.” He leaned even closer, his fingers reaching up to touch my elbow. He didn’t press hard, barely brushed my flesh, but my entire body seemed to burst into flames.

I felt hot all over.

I had the desperate urge to move closer, to melt my body against his, to beg him to take me up to his apartment.

“That dress is for my eyes only.”

My pussy clenched. At the same time, my stomach churned.

Was he flirting with me? After telling me that he only wanted to remain friends?

I gritted my teeth. “On second thought,” I said, stepping back from him and moving my elbow away from his touch. “Maybe I will wear it after all.”

I brushed past him, knowing that his eyes were glued on my ass as I walked away. I gave my hips a bit more sway, smiling to myself as I imagined his frustration.

Before I got far, I felt the vibrations of his footsteps behind me. “You’re not wearing that dress tonight,” he said in a strained voice.

I didn’t stop or turn around. “Why not? It looks good on me, don’t you think? I think Mark would like it.”

“Mark.” He snorted. “Who the fuck is that? Sounds like a loser.”

“You don’t know anything about him.”

He grabbed my arm, turning me so that I was forced to look up into his eyes. His face was taut with worry, his brows drawn together. His lips tight.

“Don’t care. Don’t have to. I already know the guy’s not good enough for you.”

His thumb caressed my flesh in a movement so small that it was barely noticeable. 

“No one is,” he said in a husky voice.

I tried not to admit to myself or to him how much his words were affecting me. “Including you?”

He didn’t answer.

I jerked my arm out of his grasp. “Go away, Liam. I have to get ready for my date.” I started to turn, but what he said next made me stop.

“I’m sorry, Misty.”

There was so much anguish in his voice, so much pain that I couldn’t have possibly walked away. At least not without feeling like a complete jerk. I waited, not meeting his eyes. Hoping he would tell me what I really wanted to hear, that he wanted to make it work between us. That he wanted more than just a one-night stand.

He didn’t give me what I wanted. Just disappointment followed by an explanation that I already knew and didn’t need to be tortured with again.

“I know you want a real relationship,” he said. “But I’m just not the type.”

A lump rose in my throat. An itchy, burning sensation in my throat and the back of my eyes. Aware that he wanted an answer, I nodded, unable to form any words.

I was a fool to think he could give me what I wanted.

He couldn’t.

He just wasn’t capable of it.

Just like Bryan, he was emotionally unavailable. Why did I keep falling for these men, thinking that I could change them, thinking that I could finally capture their hearts, against everything my instincts told me?

I should have learned my lesson the first time around.

I should have known better.

Liam had seemed so different. So much more open, kind, and smart. I had been wishing too hard, and it had blinded me to the reality. The fact that he was just like the rest of them. I needed to find someone who deserved me.

“I just,” Liam continued, “I just don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to hurt you,” he added hastily. “I didn’t mean to sleep with you, and I know that that only made it worse. I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression.”

“You didn’t,” I said quickly, finally able to breathe through the knot in my throat. “You never gave me any reason to think you were in it for the long haul. Trust me. I knew what I was getting myself into.”

I blinked rapidly, trying to avert my gaze so that he wouldn’t see. But he touched my cheek softly. I wished he was the yelling type. At least with Bryan, I had been able to yell back, to scream my frustration and anger. Liam’s gentleness only made me want to curl up into a ball and bawl my eyes out.

“Did you?” he asked.

I pressed my lips together. “Yes.”

He tilted his head to the side. “I have a feeling that you really didn’t.”

I laughed humorlessly. A tear slipped down my cheek. I brushed his hand away and wiped at my face in irritation.

“Trust me, I knew. But maybe I deceived myself into thinking you wanted more, even though the truth was screaming at me the entire time.”

He didn’t push me, but took a step back as I wiped my tears away with a tissue from my purse, careful not to smudge my mascara.

My phone rang.

I was grateful for the distraction. I stuffed my mail into my purse—telling myself that I would deal with Bryan’s letter when I got home—and grabbed my cell. It was a number I didn’t recognize. Usually, I would have let the call go to voicemail to avoid any telemarketers who had somehow managed to get a hold of my number. The alternative of answering the phone was facing Liam, and I wasn’t ready for it quite yet.

“Hello?” I said into the earpiece.

“Is this Misty?”

I didn’t recognize the man on the other end of the phone. It might have been a business call. I hoped I didn’t sound too upset.

“Yes, it is.”

“This is Mark. I hope you don’t mind me calling. Tammy gave me your number.”

I closed my eyes, but I couldn’t discern whether I felt relieved to hear from Mark or disappointed. The fact that Liam stood so close by, his presence making my insides feel hot and bothered in more ways than one didn’t help matters either.

“Hi Mark,” I said.

Liam stepped closer. I tried to ignore him.

“It’s great to hear from you.”

“You too.” His voice was cheery and friendly.

I imagined what he must have looked like. A strong figure, a man who knew what he wanted and didn’t play around when it came to women’s feelings. Unlike the man who was standing two feet away from me and not backing down no matter many dirty looks I shot him.

“Listen, I’m really sorry to have to do this,” Mark said, “but something’s come up on my end.”

I tried not to groan out loud. Great, just what I needed.

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it tonight,” he continued.

I nodded even though I knew he couldn’t see me. Of course this was happening to me now. Who did I think I was? Expecting, just once, for things to go my way? What right did I have to one happy night without complications?

I forced a small amount of cheeriness into my voice. “That’s all right.”

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” Mark said. “Tammy has been raving about you for months, and I was so excited that you finally agreed to meet with me. Trust me, if this wasn’t so important, there would be no chance in hell I’d be canceling our date.”

Good thing I was in marketing and had learned years ago that the key to presentation was perfecting the great, life-saving fake laughter. I choked one out now.

“Well, don’t worry,” I said. “It’s perfectly fine.”

“I hope you’re not averse to rescheduling.”

I pulled the phone away from my mouth and exhaled exasperatedly. “Of course not. I understand.”

“Great. I’ll call you once I sort through my schedule.”

“Thanks Mark. I can’t wait.”

We said goodbye and then I hung up my phone. I had a moment to reflect on the conversation before my thoughts were rudely interrupted by Liam.

He crowded me with his taller form, his muscles bulging. I took several steps back, my eyes widening. I felt my pulse quicken, but it wasn’t because I was scared. No, I was experiencing a much different reaction, one that caused moisture to collect between my legs and my thighs to squeeze together.

“Who was that?” Liam asked. “Mark? What did he want? Was he canceling the date? Did he bail on you?”

I placed a hand on his chest, more to push him away than anything else. The moment I touched him, I couldn’t stop and I couldn’t bring myself to push him away either.

I was suddenly exhausted, overwhelmed.

First Bryan’s letter, then having to face Liam, and now being rejected by some stranger I hadn’t wanted to meet with in the first place.

The last was a new low for me.

“Yes, that was Mark,” I said. “He said something came up so he would like to reschedule our date for later this week.”

Liam made a funny sound. “Yeah, right.”

If I had had a bit more energy, I might have fought back. Might have argued with him some more. As it was, I only wanted to get home and scarf down the rest of the brownies Tammy made when she came over the other day.

He must have seen something in my expression, because he started to back down. “Hey.”

I looked at him. Then away. I couldn’t stand the pitying look he was giving me. I didn’t need his sympathy. I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself, of standing on my own two feet. I reminded myself that I was a successful, power player in my company.

I was great at what I did as a marketing manager, and I didn’t need anyone else to take care of me. Just because I wanted a man in my life didn’t mean that I needed one. I could survive on my own.

“You all right?” Liam asked.

If he had been angry, if he had made fun of me, if he had been mean, I might have been able to handle it. I knew how to deal with assholes. Hell, I’d dated my fair share of them. My office was full of them. I could handle jerks and jackasses. But nice guys...especially nice guys who looked like Liam...they were in a whole new territory.

I crumpled. I tried to shield him from the brunt of it, covering my face with my hands, turning away so he didn’t have to see my face. He wasn’t having any of it. He grabbed my arms, pulled me close, and pressed my forehead to the middle of his chest. His hand stroked my hair, smoothing over the strands, combing his fingers through the tresses.

I tried to pull away, but he didn’t let me. His arms wrapped around me, and there was no way I would be able to break their hold, even if I really wanted to.

And I didn’t.

There was something so strangely comforting about leaning against him, resting my cheek on his chest, feeling the weight of his hand on the back of my head. I sighed, and then took in a deep breath. The scent of him was so satisfying that I breathed in deeply again. My arms wrapped around his waist, and my body pressed against his automatically.

“I didn’t realize you liked this guy Mark so much,” Liam said in a neutral voice.

I laughed. He smelled so good. That cologne mixed with the natural scent of his clean, male skin. I rubbed my face on him instinctively, as if my body was trying to absorb as much of him as possible.

“Feel free to wipe your tears on my shirt,” he said generously.

I wiped at my face, thankful that I had never been the type to cry that much. A part of me was embarrassed about breaking down in front of Liam. I had never been that type of woman. I almost never cried around Bryan. Mostly because he hated it.

He got angry whenever he made me cry—and it wasn’t even because he was angry at himself for hurting me, but because he was afraid others would see and assume that he was doing something to make me tear up. It didn't matter if that was exactly the case. He just didn’t like the fact that others would think badly of him.

I sighed and pulled away. “I’m sorry for crying in front of you. It’s been a stressful day. That’s all.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

He didn’t let me go.

“He doesn’t deserve to take you out anyway,” he said.

I blinked up at him. “What?” 

“Mark,” Liam explained. “If he’s canceling on you, then he’s a dick. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” His hand slipped down to my ass suggestively.

I swatted his shoulder. “Stop it.” I laughed, despite myself. “You don’t have any rights to these goods.”

He grinned. His eyes didn’t leave mine, even as his fingers kneaded my flesh defiantly.

“I mean it, Liam. Hands off.”

“I don’t think you really do.”

He was right. His fingers on me made me warm all over and woke something inside me that had been lying dormant since the night we slept together. But it also brought back the conflicting emotions that followed.

“Let me take you out instead,” he said.

My eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“Just because Mark canceled on you doesn’t mean you can’t have a good night.”

I broke away from him, securing my purse strap over my shoulder. “No, that would not be a good idea.”

“Why?”

“You said you wanted to be friends.”

“Friends can go out and eat together.”

“Not friends who slept together.”

“Correction. Not friends who are sleeping together. Those types of friends can’t go out for dinner. But we’re not sleeping together anymore, so I say that we can.”

I frowned. “That doesn’t seem very logical to me.”

“Of course it is. When you’re friends with benefits, you try to avoid doing things that would go beyond the physical aspect of the relationship. But since we are not friends with benefits, I don’t see why we can’t get a bite to eat.” He shrugged. “Unless you were thinking of continuing the benefits part of our friendship. In that case, we can’t eat dinner because it would be breaking the rules.”

“Hell no.”

One of his eyebrows crooked upward. “Wow. Thanks for the compliment.”

I shook my head, fighting back a smile. “Not that you weren’t good on the benefits part of the friendship,” I said quickly. “I mean, you were good.” I swallowed. “Very good.”

He crossed his arms. “Keep talking.”

“What I mean is that I’m not interested in picking up that part. Especially after not what happened.”

“Good. Neither am I.”

“Exactly.”

“Right.”

“Okay.” I licked my lips.

“So what’s the big deal about us getting a bite to eat?”

I blinked and shrugged. “I guess there is none. So long as we understand that there is absolutely no way we can sleep with each other again.”

“Yeah.” He settled his hands on my hips. “Absolutely. No way. We’re friends now and friends don’t do that.”

I nodded vigorously. “Friends.”

He laughed. “Now that we’ve established that we’re going to be friends—without benefits,” he said. “How about sushi?”