CHAPTER 11
WHEN ANDI OPENED HER EYES, the first thing she was saw was Craig sitting there, holding the baby close to his heart.
Their baby.
It was like coming out of a magical dream, or walking into it. The sight was simply too beautiful for words.
Father and child.
Gone was the fury in his eyes. In place was utmost gentleness as he gazed at his child in nothing but pure love.
Love.
She dared not move nor make a sound to catch his attention and draw his adoring gaze away from his child. The moment was too precious to end it too soon. She wished she had a camera so she could freeze it in one frame as a memory.
A lump rose in her throat coupled with a tightness in her chest. She felt a tinge of envy. Would he ever gaze at her like that? With pure love and adoration?
The traitorous thought made her squirm. What the hell?! It must be the meds messing up with her mind, inducing these unwanted, mushy feelings.
She must have made a noticeable movement for his eyes were on her now.
He stood up from the sofa and walked towards the bed. Without a word, he carefully put the baby on her chest.
Her baby took her attention away from Craig. This time, she let the mushy feelings roll all over her. She cradled him in her arms, his fresh, clean scent pleasantly invading her nostrils, calming the rioting nerves roused by his father.
“The nurse said you can start breast-feeding him as soon as your milk starts coming out. It’s important that he gets the first drops because it’s full of nutrients which are needed for his immune system. I don’t like it that they’re feeding him formula this early.”
What he just said shocked the shit out of her. She was tempted to ask “who are you” but bit her tongue when she saw the serious look in his eyes.
“I guess you’ve been reading about babies,” she mumbled softly, fighting not to smile. The dude was taking fatherhood seriously. Who knew?
“Has your milk started leaking out of your…” he looked pointedly at her chest.
“Not yet. The doc said it may come in a few days. But I can feel my boo— they’re full of…” Gosh, how weird to be talking about breastfeeding with him, even if he was the father of her baby. Aside from that week of raunchy sex, she really didn’t know anything about him.
But he had been there when she needed someone like the next air she breathed. He’d held her hand when the world felt like coming to an end inside her body. The physical upheavals she’d felt while delivering her baby was unforgettable, but she was willing to do it again for this little treasure in her arms. Well, she could have used some epidurals, which was totally useless given the speed of her delivery. Next time tough…
Next time? What the hell was she thinking? There won’t be any next time. Not in a long time. Her next child will be within a marriage and that was a galaxy away from her horizon yet.
She was sad that her first child had to be the result of her recklessness but all of that was forgotten now. Her heart was overflowing with love. In this respect, she and Craig shared something in common. Still, his continued presence was making her feel threatened.
It was clear, he had decided to be the father of her child. A very present father. That would mean a lot of things, like they would be seeing each other a lot from now on…and she didn’t know how to handle that.
“Uhm, Craig…?” she started, meeting his eyes.
He was sitting on the armchair beside the bed now. “Yeah?”
“Thank you for helping me…for bringing me to the hospital…and for being with me at the delivery room.” She owed him that courtesy, at least.
She paused, at a loss of how to phrase her next words.
“I have the feeling that wasn’t what you wanted to say,” he replied, his eyes steady on her.
She cleared her throat. “We need to be clear on…things.”
“Everything is clear to me.”
She didn’t like the certainty in his eyes. Too sure. Too set. That could only mean trouble.
“THIS,” she raised the baby in her arms a little, “is my baby. Mine.”
“Ours.”
“No, Craig. Mine.”
He leaned back on the chair and crossed his legs in an indolent manner, as if she was boring him with senseless talk. He sighed. “Do we have to argue about this? You’re old enough to think and act like a rational adult, right?”
That got a rise at her. “You were not supposed to come back. We had an agreement.”
He gave her a short, mocking laugh. “Well, guess what, all that’s been shot to hell now. We’re both here now and we have a child together. That’s as clear as it can get.”
She tried to control her rising temper. He was discussing their situation like he had everything figured out, without her consent, obviously.
“Listen—“
He cut her. “I’ll make it real simple for the both of us. That baby is mine, too and I have all the right to claim him, as well. I’ll be his father in every sense of the word.”
Her arms went a bit tighter around the baby.
“Careful. You’ll break his fragile bones, ” he said warningly, his eyes, dead serious.
She inhaled deeply and looked at her baby sleeping peacefully in her arms, embarrassed that he was reprimanding her for not handling her own child with care.
She met his eyes again. “Look—”
Again, he cut her, not giving her any avenue to turn the table. “There’s nothing to look into except the fact that you tried to hide him from me. You deliberately kept me in the dark about your pregnancy.”
“Kept you in the dark?!” she spluttered. “We parted ways nine months ago! We have no business with each other anymore!”
The baby jerked in her arms, startled. She tried to keep calm but it was hard with him steamrolling her and she was still weak from child birth.
His gaze dropped to the baby. “Except that we have.” He stared at her again. “Big business.”
It was disconcerting that we wasn’t even blinking as his eyes bored into hers. Intimidating her like a soldier. Hah!
“I called your aunt’s office before I left for the tour months ago. She lied to me about you saying you were just a part-time employee and not her relative and that she didn’t know you that much and therefore could not be located. Guess who told her to do that.”
She bristled even more at his accusing tone but she had no reply to that.
“I could have terminated her contract for entrusting my property to someone she didn’t even know.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He shrugged. “Beats me. Maybe I didn’t have time. I was called back to the base shortly after.”
“And why were you calling anyway? I already told you I didn’t want any further association. What part of ‘no’ didn’t you understand?”
“You know, you’re the only female who can tell me to fuck off without getting something in return. If you didn’t just give birth, I’ll give you a reason to scream ‘yes’ till your throat’s raw.”
Her cheeks heated up at his lascivious insinuation. “Oh please, spare me the macho bullshit. You know, most men would be happily putting distance between me and this baby by now.”
“I’m not most men.”
“Look, it was my fault I got knocked up. Honestly, I didn’t want to bother you with it and burden you with an unwanted responsibility.”
“No. It was mine. You were sleeping in my bed and…why were you sleeping in my bed anyway?”
“I was working all day. I had a headache, took a pill and dozed off for a bit. Obviously, I slept for hours and totally forgot the time. My fault.”
“Nevertheless, I had the wrong impression of you. I thought you were one of the girls I…” he didn’t continue his sentence. “I’ve never failed to use rubber in my past sexual liaisons. That night though, and the other nights, I was careless. Totally my fault.”
The fact that he was man enough to own up to his part of the mess alleviated her temper. “Okay, no biggie. It was both our fault. But I chose to keep the baby so he’s my sole responsibility.”
“What are you saying? That had I known you were pregnant I would have wanted you to get rid of it?”
She sneered at him. “Wouldn’t you have, Mister I’m not a good person you will regret trying to frame me for rape or fatherhood?” She enunciated each word.
He looked guilty. Bingo!
“See? I was saving myself from further humiliation and with good reason.”
He clenched his jaw, as if curbing his temper. “Okay, Andi, point taken. I’m normally a reasonable man. For the baby’s sake, can we start over again? I’m Craig and I’m the father of your baby. Deal with that. I’m not going away. Are we clear on this?”
“That doesn’t sound like starting over again, at all. Back to your threats, officer?”
He threw away any pretense of being nice. “If that’s the way you wanna play it, then you can start believing it. Your cherry may have impressed me enough to want to fuck you nonstop for a week but you got me good with that child. Don’t make this ugly and force me to use my resources on you, Andi.”
It was a threat and she knew he could carry it out.
Their eyes clashed. Her chest heaved in her agitation. She was still weak and hurting physically and she could hardly stand on her own two feet. She felt helpless as she lay there on the hospital bed while he looked strong and powerful and capable pulling strings to make her life miserable.
“Damn you, what do you want?” she snarled at him.
“For starters, you’ve awakened the baby by your tantrum and he looks hungry again. Feed him,” he commanded.
The way he had changed the topic made her head spin. She glared at him harder. Tantrum?! She wanted to scream at him at this point.
“Feed him,” he repeated calmly. “The doctor said the baby needs colostrum for his immune system. He should start sucking from your…so your milk will come.” He cleared his throat.
She blushed at his words. Oh God, how terribly awkward was this? But her little prince was awake now and nuzzling her chest restlessly, making these cooing baby noises.
Her heart instantly melted, her maternal instinct taking over. “Get out while I feed him.
He shook his head. “I’m gonna stay right here and watch you feed my kid. Don’t wanna miss that for anything.”
If things were different and they were real lovers, that would have been really sweet.
“C’mon. It’s not like I haven’t sucked your tits raw for a week.”
“You are gross!” Her cheeks flushed she was probably red as a tomato now.
A grin split his lips. His expression which was granite-hard a few seconds ago was a pin-up for a toothpaste commercial now.
Good Lord, her stupid tummy just recently ravaged from childbirth actually fluttered.
Ew, Andi. You’re such a slut where this man was concerned. Thank God he couldn’t read minds.
“C’mon, the kid’s hungry.” He pulled the chair closer to the bed to get a better look.
One thing she just discovered about Craig Walker, the man had zero respect for a woman’s sensibilities.
——*****——
He meant only to tease her but the moment she lifted her hospital gown and revealed one of her breasts, he realized he just subjected himself to a visual torture.
Her boob had doubled in size and stood proud and firm, its crown a deep shade of pink now, lusciously swollen and by the looks of it, ready to squirt milk.
Saliva pooled in his mouth.
His cock jumped.
Shit.
“Get me a wet cotton.”
He forced his eyes away from her boob and blinked at her, dazed. “Huh?”
“I need to clean my…Get me a ball of cotton dipped in warm water,” she repeated, giving him a disapproving look.
He stood up and did her bidding. He went to a nearby table and came back to her with balls of cotton he’d drenched with warm water.
He watched like a gawking boy as she gently rubbed the wet cotton around her areola. The little nub puckered even more, making his throat dry and his cock a raring monster in his pants.
His kid was going crazy, sensing his source of nourishment. Andi guided her nipple into his little mouth. The baby’s tiny frame jolted as if electrified and then he was latching on it like there was no tomorrow.
Fuck if he did not envy his kid right now.
His cock was a Tomahawk ready to hit home now and the target was blocked. Helluva time to be feeling horny for someone whom you can clearly NOT fuck as it was physically impossible.
He should have called Tommy’s girls and flushed out the first wave of his pent-up tension so he won’t be this antsy. But he didn’t want just anybody. His cock had suddenly developed a discriminating taste. He wanted the woman in front of him. THE mother of his child.
Damn, he’d never seen a more beautiful woman than Andi breastfeeding their baby boy. She was hands down the sexiest woman in his eyes.
The baby was grunting and gurgling, his little mouth producing sucking sounds. Then he let go of the nipple and started bawling.
“She’s not getting enough,” he said the obvious. “Try the other one.”
He watched like a voyeur again as she cleansed her other nipple. The baby latched on it too, like a starving leech, shaking and purring and kicking his little legs.
“My milk hasn’t fully come yet so he’s kinda frustrated he’s just getting a little. He’s not even supposed to need much this early.”
“That’s my kid so he’d need more than a normal baby,” he said in a smug tone.
She rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it.”
By this time, he wanted to go to the bathroom to jack off. Shit, lusting after her when she just gave birth. It was low, even for a lowlife like him. But who can blame him? With her extra pounds, glowing skin and her rack full to overflowing, she was a goddess waiting to be ravished.
When the baby’s crying continued, he turned around. “I’ll call the nurse.”
He went out of the suite and leaned his back against the hallway wall.
He did some deep breathing, hoping it will kill his hard-on. The bulge in his fly cannot possibly be disguised so he stayed there for a few minutes to let it subside, wincing as he heard his kid scream furiously for more milk. So demanding already.
He was forced to rush to the nurse’s station.
——*****——
As their child fed from the formula bottle, they both kept quiet and watched in rapt fascination.
Andi set aside her issues for now. In that moment she knew, Craig shared her exact feelings. It showed in his eyes. They fairly glowed with love for his child. Despite her fears and doubts and misgivings, she couldn’t possibly take this joy away from him. It was the instinctive affection of a parent for his child.
The suite was utterly quiet except for the happy noises the baby was making as he sucked from the feeding bottle like a little glutton.
“Have you thought of a name for him?” His soft voice broke the idyllic silence.
“No. Not yet,” she answered in soft tone, too. They were both afraid they’d startle the baby with their voices.
She couldn’t help but smile. Again, the stupid what if intruded. If the circumstances were different, this would be a really sweet moment between a new family. Their family.
“Would you like to name him?” That came out of her lips while she was lost in those dreamy thoughts. Oh God, seriously?
But it was too late to take it back. His eyes had already lit up in surprise and excitement. She had seen his eyes smolder with desire, ignite in anger, sear in mockery, scorch in sexual seduction, but never like this. They were devoid of the usual veil of authority masking all his inner emotions. They were now open…and happy.
“Are you sure…?” He sounded like a hopeful child.
“Yes, of course. You name him.”
His smile widened, unguarded, melting her defenses.
“Can I name him after me?”
“Are you serious? A junior? I can only handle one terrible Craig,” she teased him.
His smile vanished.
“Kidding! Craig Walker Jr., alias Cray-cray. Sounds good.”
He chuckled.
Oh God. That sounded like her fondest dreams. Of a good life and happy-ever-afters.
Yes, she did have those dreams, but she rarely entertained them yet as they still belonged in her distant future. But now, they seemed so near, so attainable.
So, so dumb.
“Craig Richard Walker.” There was pride in his voice when he proclaimed his son’s full name.
“Who’s Richard? Any significance to it?”
“Major Richard Bong. He was one of Air Force’s most decorated fighter pilots during the World War II. We call him the Ace of Aces for shooting down 40 Japanese planes in dog fights.”
“Wow. Your idol, obviously.”
“You like it?”
“Yes. Just not the shooting part. I’m not a fan of violence.”
His eyes dropped to his hands. He made no comment. A rare display of humility. Or embarrassment? His ears had turned red. Definitely embarrassment…or something else. She’d hit a raw nerve.
Okay, that was not cool of her. No matter how strong her opinions about military men, she had no right to insult their profession. It was probably the most courageous of all professions.
To salvage the precious moment, she handed him the baby who already finished feeding. “Here. Gosh, he’s heavy for a newborn.”
His arms readily lifted to receive the baby.
“How many pounds is he again?” she asked him to redirect the conversation.
“8.5 pounds when delivered. Probably above nine now.” Her heart fluttered with joy that he knew their baby’s stats.
He sat up straighter and cradled the baby gently in his powerful arms. The contrast was fascinating. He was well-built and strong but capable of such gentleness.
“I can’t believe he came out of me the natural way.”
His eyes rested on her again. This time, their gentleness were for her, she knew. She felt it in every pore of her skin as he bathed her with appreciation. “I’m sorry. I saw how you suffered…I’ll never forget it, Andi.”
She shrugged. “I guess I’ve done my part in the continuation of the human race. Can’t say it was fun, but it was all worth it.”
He smiled. “Thank you.” He lifted the baby higher on his chest until his little cheek was almost touching his face. “For Richard.”
She smiled back. “You’re welcome.”
They spent the next minutes staring at their child, marveling at his little perfection.
They were interrupted by the arrival of her aunt and uncle.
——*****——
“We have to talk about where Andi and the baby will stay.”
The happy chatter in the room was wiped out by Craig’s soft but authoritative voice.
Andi braced herself. She just knew he would bring this up sooner, and in front of everyone, too!
“We’ll go with what’s best for both of them,” her aunt said, glancing at her husband. Reno nodded in agreement.
“Good. They’ll live with me from now on, of course.” Craig was addressing Frida and Reno.
“Now, wait a minute…” Andi protested.
Craig transferred his gaze to her. “I want the best for my kid. What’s your best?”
That was a deliberate dig at her economic status and he knew he had her there. Anger rose again inside her at his domineering behavior. He was already making decisions for her and her baby and this was a prelude to more of the same shit, she just knew.
“Don’t imply that only you can give him the best.”
“I’m not implying. I’m stating facts. I have a huge place that can accommodate a big family. It’s up there in the sky but I can remedy that. I’ll buy a house on the ground in a few months.”
She ground her teeth. What can she possibly say to that? “We’re not a family,” she said bluntly, uncaring of their audience.
“We are. I’m the father, you’re the mother and that’s our kid. A complete family unit.”
“You’re being utterly selfish about this!”
“Am I?”
“Yes!”
He shrugged. “Nevertheless, that’s the soundest plan. You have nothing to offer to the table financially at the moment.”
“I do—“
“Yeah? You mean the money I gave you? Save it.”
God, I hate him. I really do.
“Craig is right, Andi,” her Aunt Frida intruded gently. “The little one will be more comfortable in his place. Our house is small and old and we need to add another room for the nursery.”
“He can stay with me in my room…” she still tried to argue but she knew it would be just lame and she would sound unreasonable, given the situation. That Craig was right was beside the point. She was still angry that he was setting her up into cohabiting with him against her will. However, her pride would have to take a backseat for her son’s sake. For now.
“I have a nursery being outfitted at my place as we speak. It will be ready when you and the baby check out of here. I’ll hire a nanny”
“I can take care of my child,” she snapped at him.
“Better.” There was a satisfied glint in his eyes.
She was cornered.
“Then that’s settled!” her Aunt Frida chimed in gleefully. “We’ll visit you there as often as we can, hija, don’t worry. We’re still under contract to clean Craig’s place.”
That made the bastard grin. “Good point, Frida. Just send someone else to clean our place from now on. Andi will be busy with the baby.”
‘Our’ place. That would have sounded nice if he didn’t railroad her into this. But what can she do? He was rich and she had practically nada to her name except the money he paid her for that one week of “companionship”. That cannot feed a baby for long.
Their eyes clashed heatedly across the room, his, smug, hers, defiant.
“Do you have any questions, Andi?” he asked, challenging her.
She dropped her eyes to her lap. “None.”
——*****——
Andi met Bella Stimson that afternoon.
So, this was THE Bella. That woman in the picture. Craig’s older sister.
The woman arrived like a ray of sunshine with her bright blue eyes and flowing blond hair. She looked like she visited a beauty salon everyday— glamorous, oozing wealth and class in her simple clothes and elegant bearing. She would have resented the woman— obviously one of those pampered Miami socialites— if she was not one of the nicest persons she’d ever met. Bella came with her adorably gorgeous twin daughters who immediately doted on Richard like he was their little brother.
She wanted to shake her head at the pretty picture they made. They were cooing and giggling around her son who was wide awake, his blue eyes moving around their sockets as if he can already see.
Craig was watching over them like the head of the family, strong and capable of protecting them with his brute strength and influence. In that respect, she was glad he was the father of her child. Richard will have a good future with a father like that. He can fault Craig with a lot of things but fatherhood was not one of them.
What about me? What does the future hold for me?
She felt ashamed to acknowledge that needy voice in her head, but the facts remained clear.
He epitomized everything she had been avoiding in men. Too worldly. Too rich. Yes, she had high ambitions but she was realistic enough not to aim beyond her capabilities. Craig was way out of her league. Too experienced she couldn’t possibly keep up with him in the long run.
Worst of all, he was a soldier. Too dangerous to her well-being. She will not become like her mother who spent her entire life pining for the soldiers who promised to love and marry her. But they all broke their promises. They all broke her mother.
No. She won’t be broken like that, by a soldier who had too many ports and bases to call his own. Too many women to call him their own.
She deserved better than that.
“Oh Andi, he looks just like Craig when he was a baby!” Bella gushed.
She smiled. Indeed, even now, there was no denying Richard was his father’s son. She couldn’t see any single facial feature her baby had gotten from her. He was all Craig.
Bella sat close to her on the bed. “I took the liberty of furnishing a room at Craig’s place as a nursery. When he gave me the news the other day, I was too excited I went on a shopping spree right away. I’m sorry but I hope you’ll like the stuff I bought for Richard. Next time though, we’ll go shopping together. That would be so much fun.There are still a lot of stuff the baby needs. I miss shopping for an infant. My girls grew up way too fast!”
“You have beautiful children,” she said gazing at the girls who were identical and the miniature versions of their mother.
“Thank you! And now I have a gorgeous nephew I can dote on! Wait till Gordon— that’s my husband— sees him. He couldn’t come with us today because of an emergency at the vineyard but you will meet him soon. Oh, he will adore Richard!”
The woman was a chatterbox but her eyes were warm and sincere. Who can possibly resist such effervescent charm? Bella was bubbly and bouncy, the polar opposite of Craig who was mysterious and brooding. But she was discovering a side to his character in Bella’s presence. A new side of him.
This was the soft side of him— his sister and nieces, and also now, his son.
She liked this side of him.