Chapter 9

“As fuck” is my favorite unit of measurement.

-Fact of Life

Travis

Present day

“It’s all right, Tobias,” I said into the phone. “I’m calling him next.”

“Let me know if you get a hold of him,” Tobias sighed. “Oh, and I forgot to ask. How is the dog doing?”

Tobias had been the one to find me the chocolate lab puppy. He’d even gone as far as to meet me halfway with the dog.

I’d only broken out in hives for about thirty minutes before my Benadryl had kicked in, and since then, I’d taken a constant dose of the stuff.

My throat hadn’t stopped itching since I’d gotten the dog.

As for Dante? Well, I already knew what he’d do.

I didn’t reply at first, contemplating what to say.

We both knew that the possibility was low that he’d answer, but we’d try.

“The dog’s good, Toab-Toab. Hannah’s doing a superb job cleaning up the mess I left in her lap.”

At my words, Tobias started to laugh. “Have a good one, bro.”

Tobias said goodbye, and I immediately went back to my phone app and dialed Dante’s number.

He, unsurprisingly, didn’t answer.

“Dante,” I said into my phone, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Please call me. Call any of us. We just want to know that you’re okay.”

I hadn’t seen my brother in well over a month and a half. He’d completely gone off the grid since I’d seen him last, and it was an odd feeling.

Dante was normally the man that all of us could depend on. When he was the one hit with the tragedy, none of us knew what to do. How to react.

And honestly, he didn’t either.

I secretly thought that was why he’d stayed away as he had, because he wasn’t handling it all that well. Though, who the fuck could blame him?

Someone knocked on my office door, and I put the phone down with a soft thump.

After rubbing my face with my hands roughly, I said, “Come in.”

Today was the anniversary of my sister’s suicide. The day that my sister had decided that taking her own life was the answer to the problems that she faced.

Not that my sister didn’t have her problems. They would’ve broken anybody.

When my sister was a teenager, Tobias’ good friend had raped her. Repeatedly.

She’d never fully recovered. Then, she’d gotten into drugs—which she’d been on the night that she’d been driving Dante’s family home.

After that day, she’d sobered up…or at least we’d thought that she had.

Which had been all of our faults. Tobias had really been the only one to stay on her hard. The rest of us had just been tired of it…which had been our own selfish protection act. We didn’t want to deal with it anymore. We were all sad, worn down, and had our own problems.

And honestly, we thought she was handling it better than she had been. It’d been our fatal mistake.

My hands were still on my face, my fingers pressing into both eyes. Which meant that I didn’t see her walk in.

Not until she touched my face.

“You okay?”

I dropped my hands and looked at the love of my life. The woman that I wanted, and couldn’t have.

But then a thought occurred to me.

Dante had had it all.

He’d had a wife. Two children that he adored with all of his heart. A great business.

He’d had everything that he could’ve ever asked for…and then he’d lost it.

He’d lost it, and maybe would never find something like that ever again.

Me? I’d never been happy.

Sure, I had a child. Yes, I loved her with all of my heart.

But her mother was poisoning her. Allegra was shaping her into a person that I knew wouldn’t lead to good things if we weren’t careful.

I’d let Allegra control my life. I’d made a mistake when I married her. When I’d entrusted her with my hopes and dreams.

Now, Allegra challenged those dreams…threatened to ruin them.

And I was letting her.

I’d told Alex about the dog, excited to see her excited for once, and she’d sneered.

She’d sneered.

That was when I knew I wouldn’t win.

“Are you okay?”

I closed my eyes, and then swiveled in my chair and buried my face into her stomach, while threading my arms around her body. My arms wrapped around her thighs, pulling her in tight.

Her belly was soft, and she smelled so fucking good.

“I’m not okay,” I told her, pushing my face further into her soft belly. “I’m so far from okay that I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.”

She was hesitant to touch me.

I hadn’t initiated this much touch since the moment I’d seen her after I buried her dog.

After she’d come to my house, I’d taken my fill. Then Allegra had happened.

Yet that didn’t mean that I hadn’t craved it every day for the last three hundred and forty-seven days. That I hadn’t wanted to touch her. To caress her face. To beg for her touch.

The one and only time I’d hugged her—made any more contact than a simple touch—had been the day that she’d given birth to TJ.

The day she’d given me a son. A little person that would carry on the Hail name for the rest of his life.

What I did next was likely the most freeing thing I’d done in my entire life.

I decided to fuck everything. Fuck Allegra. Fuck my brother. Fuck everything that was waiting on me.

Hannah? Well, fuck her too.

But I’d be doing it with my body.

The next moment, I showed her.

I stood up, my face even with hers with my legs splayed wide, and I dropped my mouth to hers.

She didn’t even hesitate.

She allowed the kiss, and took everything that I gave.

And when I stopped giving? She took it into her own hands, and forced me to continue.

I couldn’t say that I was upset about providing that kiss.

I also couldn’t say that I was upset when the planter that Allegra had given me ‘from Alex’ for Father’s Day last year fell to the ground and shattered with a sharp crash.

Why? Because that planter hadn’t been from Alex. It’d been a reminder from Allegra that she would be watching me.

And honestly, I hoped that she was watching. I hoped that she saw that I was no longer playing her game anymore.

Because the woman in my arms, currently gasping when I shoved her back down to my desk, forcing my hips between her legs, was the woman of my dreams.

She was my one.

She was my everything.

Even Allegra hadn’t meant the same to me as my woman. Hannah was the one who stayed by me, despite me treating her like trash—and I couldn’t say that I didn’t do that. I always put my daughter first, and if that meant that the woman that I loved with all my heart got put on the back burner, then so be it.

But, as much as it hurt, I wasn’t going to be able to do that anymore.

This was Hannah.

She was the one thing that I could always count on. The woman who, despite my assholeness, stuck by me, and continued to offer me her love, even when I didn’t deserve it.

That was changing now.

Now.

Right. Fucking. Now.

I yanked her shirt up and off, exposing those breasts that I’d been longing to feel again. Especially since they’d grown from the moment that we knew about TJ.

She was wearing a nursing bra.

One that was about as unattractive as one could get, but with Hannah? Yeah, she could have no boobs, and I’d still think she was sexy.

But she did have boobs, and the boobs she had were practically spilling out the top and sides.

“God,” I groaned.

Before I could reach for her bra, though, she placed her hand on my arm and squeezed.

My eyes met hers.

“Not that I’m not more than willing to do this, but…” She bit her lip, and I knew exactly what she was going to say. “Are you sure?”

I crawled up on the desk with her, making it so that our eyes were directly in line with each other, and told her what was in my heart.

“Have I ever told you I love you?”

Her eyes widened, and instead of answering, she shook her head.

“I do,” I murmured. “I’ve loved you for a long fucking time.”

Her eyes closed.

“I love everything about you. Your heart. Your fire. Your girl. Our son. There’s not one thing about you that I don’t love. Even when you hang your bras up in the bathroom, and forget to put the lid on the toothpaste.”

“I know it’s sudden. I know that you probably think this is a rash decision on my part, but I’m fucking tired of fighting it. I miss you. I want you in my bed every night. I want to raise our child like he’s meant to be raised.” I paused. “And if one day Alex plays into that equation, then even better for me. But it hurts. It hurts to see you in my house, and not be able to act on the instincts that urge me to wrap you in my arms.”

She cupped my cheek with her small, soft hand.

“I know.”

I closed my eyes and dropped my head to her chest, right between those beautiful breasts that were so fucking pretty that it physically hurt.

“But…” she interrupted my musings. “I think that you should talk with Alex…let her know that you’re not giving up.”

My eyes opened, and they practically blazed.

“I won’t ever give up on her,” I promised. “But in doing that, I’m not going to give up on you for her. Allegra’s already proven that she’s vindictive enough to do this ten times better than I ever could.”

She looked up at the ceiling.

“If we do this, it could literally change everything.”

I leaned back to my knees and reached for the front clasp of her bra.

“If we don’t do this, it could change everything,” I countered.

Then I undid the clasp, and practically salivated all over her as I watched those bountiful breasts pop free.

“I want to taste every inch of you,” I told her. “I want to remember everything.”

I dropped down and placed a kiss on the tip of each breast.

“I want to learn everything about you, too.”

I pressed another kiss to her breastbone.

“I want to lick.” I went from one nipple to the other, dragging my tongue as I did. “Are you sensitive here?”

I remembered, very vividly, that she’d been extremely sensitive before, but now, I bet that she was even more so.

“Yes,” she hissed, drawing the word out as I circled one nipple with the flat length of my tongue.

She tasted sweet, like milk.

I’d never tasted it before, of course, but there was no other explanation for what that sweetness was.

She confirmed that it was what it was moments later when a tiny white bead pebbled on the tip of one nipple.

My eyes watched it rapturously, and when I bent down, she caught my head in her hand.

“Travis…”

I growled and changed course, detouring to her mouth so I could slam my lips down on hers.

The moment our mouths touched, we went from calm and collected, to heated and out of control.

Her hands went everywhere.

My face. My beard. My shoulders and then my back.

I took what she was willing to give, groaning when she latched onto my neck and bit the cord lightly.

My hardened dick behind my dirty work jeans pressed even more heavily against the unforgiving fly, and with little recourse, I ground it into her pelvis.

I was grateful that she’d spread her legs wide for me which allowed me direct access to the good stuff without much effort.

“Are you sure?” she repeated, this time much more breathlessly.

I growled.

“More than sure.”

Then I went for her breast again, this time taking no prisoners when it came to getting that nipple, and that little white drop, in my mouth.

When Allegra was pregnant with Alex, I’d been fascinated by her milk-filled breasts.

When she’d stated her unwillingness to breastfeed our daughter, I didn’t complain. I couldn’t blame her. It was a whole lot of work, and it wasn’t for everybody.

Did that mean I wasn’t disappointed, though?

Hell, no. I was extremely disappointed.

I’d always been turned on by it, and now I was about to let that fantasy loose, and I wasn’t sure how she’d take it.

But she just watched as I let my tongue go back to that tiny white drop, and swipe it free.

Her eyes only widened slightly, but she cupped my face and brought it back to her mouth.

“Are you really sure?”

I hated to see that hesitation on her face. She wanted this. I wanted this. What she nor I wanted was Allegra to freak the fuck out and make this all even worse—which I had no doubt in my mind that she would do.

I’d seen her in action before.

Every single person that crossed the crazy bitch in some way ended up paying—even if it was getting fired from your job where Allegra once tried to return a shirt and been turned away, stating that it was company policy not to accept returns on worn items.

Instead of pursuing it there, she’d then gone to the president of the chain of stores and pleaded her case. Who’d decided to side with Allegra.

Secretly, I was sure that Allegra had probably fucked the man in some way—based on the smile on his face when I’d seen them together—but that was a different story for another day.

Especially when the woman that I’d had a permanent hard-on for was lying on my desk, legs spread wide to accommodate my hips, staring at me like I’d just made all her dreams come true.

“I’m sure.”

Then I showed her.

I showed her by touching her.

I showed her by teasing her.

I showed her in each and every kiss. Taste. Touch. Lick.

“Are you really, really sure?”

I ignored her breathy question, instead pressing her breasts together as I tried to lick both nipples at once.

The move caused more breast milk to spill from her nipples, making her gasp.

“Travis…”

The worry in her voice had me smiling, and after licking each drop free, I let her breasts go and moved down, yanking her loose yoga pants down her hips as I went.

“Oh, God.”

“Not God, honey. Just me, Travis.”

She pulled my hair, causing me to laugh as I paused at the soft swell of her belly.

She had more stretch marks. A lot more.

But they were cute.

Tiny little scars that would forever bear witness of our son’s previous position inside of her for a full nine months.

“Beautiful,” I told her, then skimmed my lips along the angry looking scar that was healed now, but still very visible.

When Hannah had told me that she wanted to have a vaginal birth after having a C-section, I hadn’t realized the danger.

Hadn’t realized that it could possibly kill her.

Not until she’d pushed for hours, and was so exhausted that she passed out cold on the hospital bed that she was trying to deliver our son on.