CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Mr. Dubious
We slept in late the next morning. I was pleasantly surprised that James had taken the morning off so we could spend the morning together before I had to fly out. I would only be gone for the day, arriving back in New York early in the morning the next day, but it still felt like such a treat to get more time with him.
We lingered in bed, which was hardly surprising, since I woke up as he was pushing himself inside of me. He must have been at it for a while because I was wet enough that my body accepted him easily. He held my legs so far apart that the stretch bordered on painful, and pounded into me mercilessly, his eyes snapping at me all the while.
“Say it, Bianca,” he said roughly.
I wasn’t actually sure which ‘it’ he meant, after our confessions from the night before, so I went with my instincts. He was fucking me like he wanted to own me, so I said what came to mind. “I’m yours, Mr. Cavendish. Only yours.”
I found out that my instincts were right on as he came inside of me, shouting my name roughly.
I was right there with him, watching him with fascination and love as my body clenched deliciously around him in a perfect orgasm.
He was tender afterwards, but it was a possessive sort of tender. We showered, and he took over completely, washing my body and hair, as was his custom. I was beyond questioning it. Letting him care for me like that fulfilled a need in both of us, and now I only cherished it, as he cherished me.
He dressed me, placing soft kisses all over my body right before he covered each spot with clothes. I ran hungry hands through his wet hair as he tended to me. He dressed me in a dark T-shirt and boxers, because I would have to get dressed again in work clothes in just a few hours.
We went downstairs for breakfast. It would have been tempting to have breakfast in bed that morning, but I was dying to see Stephan. I needed to make sure he was okay, so we headed to the dining room to eat. James didn’t even ask me. He seemed to always understand how Stephan and I worked. I didn’t know if he was just that observant, or if Stephan had explained it to him in even more detail than what I’d imparted. The how didn’t matter, though, because it was only his understanding that was crucial.
I felt my whole body get a little limp with relief when I heard laughter coming from the dining room as we approached. I recognized Javier’s laugh first, and the one that joined it was one that was more familiar to me than my own laugh. And more welcome.
I smiled at the sound, my step quickening to reach them. James was a silent presence at my back.
Stephan stood when he saw me, grinning ear to ear.
He was across the room and enfolding me into his arms in a flash. I burrowed into that familiar chest.
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
He squeezed me. “I’m great.”
“I take it you guys worked it out,” I said wryly.
“We did.” No hesitation.
I nodded against him and after a moment, he let me go to get back to his breakfast.
I didn’t need to know any more than that. He’d made up his mind, and I could only hope that Javier, who was giving me very cautious glances, wouldn’t hurt him again.
James pulled my chair out for me, acting the gentleman. “Egg white omelet okay with you?” he asked me, heading into the kitchen.
I nodded, wondering what about me had attracted what seemed to be the last two gentlemen left on the planet.
I noticed that Stephan and Javier were eating crepes covered in syrup, whipped cream, and chocolate chips. I was surprised that James even kept the ingredients for that in his house.
James returned quickly, carrying a very English tea service. He served us all tea, acting the epitome of the well-mannered English host. I told him so.
He smiled. “I get it from my father. English from head to toe. Every cup of English tea that I drink makes me think of him.”
I thought that was a sweet thing for him to share and I gave him a sweet smile.
He winked at me.
I was startled at the response it caused in me. It was a pretty innocent gesture, considering the things he said and did to me on a daily basis, but it still had me turned on in a heartbeat. The man was hot.
We were almost through with our breakfast when I noticed James checking his phone, his expression growing carefully blank from one second to the next.
“Excuse me,” he said curtly.
He rose from the table and strode from the room.
I hadn’t realized how polite he usually was about taking calls during our time together simply because he didn’t do it. Which made me even more curious about what had gotten his attention, and what had put that look on his face. I was on instant alert.
A rare streak of uncontrollable curiosity had me following him within seconds. I wanted to see what had troubled him so badly with just a few words.
I caught him with his back to me in one of the sitting rooms. The door wasn’t completely closed, but he was speaking very quietly into the phone.
“Then offer them more. I mean it when I say I don’t have a limit to what I will pay to keep this from getting out.” He paused. “I don’t give a fuck if it’s a smart business decision, Roger. This isn’t about business. This is about keeping my life intact, the way I need for it to be, and I don’t give a fuck if it takes my fortune to accomplish that. Do you understand?” Another long pause. “I am not a fourteen-year-old that you are managing, Roger. I don’t need time to think. I need you to do what I’m asking you to. Take care of this.”
Fear froze me in my tracks, and I stood in the doorway, listening. His tone was so panicked, so desperate. I did not want to know what had put that fear in him.
I didn’t move from the doorway as he ended the call and turned. I had been eavesdropping on him, and I’d just as soon have him know it. Perhaps he would tell me what had happened, and it wouldn’t be as bad as the dread coursing through me was telling me it was.
He flinched when he saw me standing there, and that was so not good for my peace of mind. We suffered through a very long, awkward silence while he rubbed his temples and I watched him.
“Everything okay?” I finally asked him.
He grimaced. “It will be,” he said. That was all.
“Who is Roger?” I asked. Being with James seemed to have added nosy quite firmly to my list of character flaws.
“An old family friend. A sort of mentor to me. And my lawyer.”
I thought that sounded ominous, but he didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t ask him to. If he didn’t want to share, I couldn’t make him.
He moved to me finally. He ran a hand over my hair, grabbing it firmly at my nape. He used it like a handle to tilt my face up to him. There was trouble in his eyes. “Did you mean what you said last night?”
I studied him, beyond confused. “About what?”
His jaw clenched and he watched me for a long time. “About loving me. I know you were tired and scared from the nightm—“
I couldn’t take it. I interrupted him rudely. “Of course I did! I wouldn’t say something like that just because I was tired.”
“Say it again,” he ordered roughly.
“I love you. Of course I do. You shouldn’t doubt me. I wouldn’t say it unless I meant it.”
“How conditional is that love? How much are you willing to withstand just to stay with me?”
I was starting to get angry. “I don’t like the question. Love in a monogamous relationship has to have some conditions, James. If you were unfaithful—“
“I’m not talking about that. I’d never do that. Does your love have other conditions?”
I glared at him, but I shook my head, finding the answer way too quickly. “I don’t think that it does, James. But again, I don’t like the question. Do you want to tell me why you’re asking it?”
He was gripping my hair to the point of pain now. “I’m asking it because every time I think that we’re on our way to building a future together, something from the past gets in the way, and I need to know that won’t happen to us again.”
I thought he was being deliberately vague, but I let it go. I was in no mood to open Pandora’s Box. “The past can only hurt us if we let it, if it really is the past that we’re talking about.”
He studied me, then kissed me roughly. He brought his mouth to my ear. “I want to tie you to my bed. Now. I want to keep you there.”
My brain short-circuited for an instant, going to that sublime place that only James could take me to. “I need to leave for the airport soon.”
“I know. That’s why I want to do it. So you can’t leave.”
I tried to meet his eyes to give him an exasperated look, but he was kissing me, invading my mouth until I forgot why what he’d said was so outrageous.
He pulled back only when he’d left me breathless and wanting.
“Have you given any thought to your painting career?” he demanded. “When would you like to start planning your first showing?”
I had, in fact, been thinking about it. It was a persistent sort of distraction in my brain. Especially when I considered that James currently paid much more to have me followed and protected on flights than I was actually earning on those flights. It seemed so wasteful and senseless.
“I have,” I admitted.
His jaw clenched when I didn’t elaborate. “And what are your thoughts?”
I gave him my little shrug. “I’m mulling it over.”
He gave me a rather pained smile. “Well, you let me know when you’re done mulling,” he bit out. “I would love to know your thoughts on the matter.”
He was obviously upset, but he dropped it after that.
We made our way upstairs. I put on my uniform while he put on his ungodly expensive suit. He was ready first, taking another mysterious phone call. He strode from the room, phone to his ear, while I put on a bit of makeup.
He was quiet and a little distant on the drive to the airport. He kept me close, a hand in my hair and the other on my knee. The distance was all in his eyes and his expression, which had been very carefully blank since that second phone call.
He only came to life briefly when we reached the airport and it was time to say goodbye. He let the guys file out before crushing his mouth against mine, his kiss was hungry and desperate.
We were both breathless and agitated when he pulled back.
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
He nodded, but that trouble hadn’t left his eyes.
“Bye,” I told him.
He got out first to hand me out. “I love you, Bianca,” he said.
I nodded. “I love you too, James,” I said steadily. I didn’t even feel the need to panic or withdraw at the words. They already came easily to my lips. I had it so bad.
Stephan, Javier and I were lucky to get a row of seats together for the flight, since we were flying space available. We all tried to sleep since we’d be working well into the next morning, but I didn’t think any of us got more than a one-hour nap on the four and a half hour flight.
I woke up from my nap as the plane began to descend for landing, the feeling familiar enough to act like an alarm on my body. My head was pillowed against Stephan’s shoulder. I rubbed my cheek against that supple muscle before pulling back to look at him. His arms were crossed over his chest, making his muscles bulge attractively. He was smiling and awake. He looked as happy as I’d ever seen him. It was a good sight for my heart, especially after all of the drama from the night before.
I saw that Javier was still passed out; his head pillowed onto Stephan’s other shoulder.
“Morning, Buttercup,” Stephan said softly.
“Just sitting here smiling while we sleep on you?” I asked him with a smile.
He just flashed a dimple at me, nodding. “Sandwiched by my two favorite people in the world. What’s not to smile about?”
I had to laugh. “So what happened last night?” I asked him. I didn’t want to ruin the mood, but I needed to know. That had been a lot of drama to be squashed so easily.
“Javier said he loves me,” he said with a very soft smile.
I was relieved and confused all at once. “What about before that?”
He grimaced and told me briefly about Vance and the way he’d bullied Javier.
I gripped his hand when he finished. I wasn’t sure what to think about all of it. Javier did have a reputation for loving drama, but on the other hand, I’d met Vance, and that one lived and breathed the stuff. I did know one thing, though. Stephan believed Javier with a certainty, and he would feel horrible for not defending the other man—instead walking away when he was being harassed.
“If that was what really happened, you couldn’t have known.”
He gave me a stern look. “You don’t believe that’s what happened?”
I gave him my little shrug. “You know I’m more cynical than you. I don’t know what to believe, but of course, I have my doubts. That doesn’t matter, though. If you’re together, I support that, because it’s what you want.”
He gave me a sad smile. “You shouldn’t be so cynical. I have no doubts about Javier, Bianca.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “I know. And like I said, that’s enough for me.”
“When are you going to learn that I’m not the only trustworthy person in the world?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. At least, not one that he wanted to hear. Nothing but time and consistency would make me trust Javier with Stephan’s heart, and the drama of the night before had done nothing but set that time further back, whatever his story was.
“You don’t think he’s good enough for me,” he said, clear reproof in his voice.
I had to smile at that. “I don’t think anyone is good enough for you, myself included.”
He just shook his head.
We’d been over this, and neither of us ever budged.
“I told James that I love him,” I told him quietly.
I heard the familiar sound of the wheels coming down from the plane. I was surprised that Javier was still sleeping peacefully.
Stephan beamed at me. “That’s wonderful. Your therapist would be proud.”
I laughed, hardly offended, since he only spoke the truth.
“Aren’t you going to ask me what he said?” I asked him.
He shook his head without hesitation. “He’s been head over heels from the start, Buttercup. I had no doubts. That man worships the ground you walk on.”