CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Epilogue
NEARLY ONE YEAR LATER
I took deep breaths. I counted. I made my whole body relax. I was nervous—very nervous, and skittish, but much less so, than I’d thought I would be for this day.
“Deep breaths, Buttercup,” Stephan said gently. I couldn’t look at him today. He, more than anyone, made me emotional today. There was just so much joy in his eyes, so much barely suppressed excitement. It made me want to bawl like a baby and I had just sat through a painstakingly elaborate makeup process. Not to mention that my goal for the day was not to lose it in front of four hundred wedding guests.
“If you make her mess up her make-up right now, I will kick you,” Lana told him, but her tone was pure affection. Stephan and Lana had taken to each other like, well—like Stephan and I. She threatened to steal him from me nearly every time the three of us got together.
Lana looked stunning, of course, in a lavender dress that made those astonishing purple eyes stand out even more. She’d picked the color. As was her custom, she’d taken over that entire part of the process. I hadn’t balked. On the contrary, I’d only been relieved. This sort of event was well out of my area of expertise. I had never been the girl who dreamed of this, let alone ever thought of planning one of the things. I had gratefully taken all of the help I could get.
“Bianca, you should know that I’ve been put on guard duty by your determined bridegroom. He said that if you tried to run, I would get to tackle you.”
That made me laugh, and relieved some of the tension, as it was meant to.
“I don’t know if anyone’s told you this,” she continued. “But I have quite the reputation as a kick-ass fighter in Maui, so I wouldn’t test me if I were you.”
Not only had someone told me that story, everyone had. Lana’s Tutu, and her auntie, and even Akira loved to tell that story in great detail, and often. One girl fight and they thought she was the lightweight champ…
Lana wasn’t finished, but she’d moved on from Stephan and me. She had an elegant finger pointed at the two mischievous pixies who wore gowns that matched her own. “And you. The Debauched Duo. You had better stay away from my brother at the reception. I saw the way you were eyeing him. Don’t even think about it. I have plans for him that involve him finally settling down, and the two of you wouldn’t know settled if it invited you to a threesome!”
They just giggled, completely unfazed.
“We already bagged that one,” Marnie gasped.
“Double teamed him after the rehearsal dinner!” Judith said.
“He was awesome,” Marnie added.
Lana rubbed her temples. “Oh, God! I don’t know who’s more hopeless. Him or you two?”
“Them,” Jessa added from where she was getting her hair finished up. “I’ve known them for years. Definitely them.”
“They told me a story about seducing a priest one time,” Danika told Lana, giving her a sympathetic look. “Your brother is easy, but these two are nymphos. So if we’re talking hopeless, I vote them.”
“I swear I saw them eyeing up the minister that’s performing the nuptials,” Sophia added helpfully, adjusting the sleeve of her own lavender gown.
“I’m almost positive they were trying to hit on my dad last night, before they disappeared with Lana’s brother,” Jackie added from where she was working on my hem. I glanced down at her as she continued. “My poor father’s been a widower for five years, and he’s approaching sixty. They could have given him a heart attack.”
Marnie and Judith just giggled, enjoying the banter.
It all helped. I needed distraction. It wasn’t that I had doubts about James. I was sure of him, sure that I needed him, and that he was good for me. It was just the actual marriage part that got me scared. And the over the top wedding, which had started out so small, wasn’t helping. It had just sort of built into this thing that I couldn’t control anymore, though I wasn’t sure I ever could have. We should have eloped…
I never thought I’d be that person with more bridesmaids than I could keep track of, but there it was. I had opened my heart to more than Stephan, and it had opened like a dam breaking. There were so many people that I valued in my life now. My heart was no longer a block of ice with one thawed part just for Stephan. It was warm in my chest now. I was alive as I never could have been if I hadn’t met James. He had been right from the start. We were made for each other, and he had made me a better woman, a more complete one, when I’d let him into my heart.
I had calmed considerably by the time Javier peeked his head into the room.
We had decided on an outdoor wedding in the late spring, because we both loved the idea of a wedding amidst blooming flowers. James had chosen Wyoming, insisting that there was no other place we could have our vows, since this was where he swore I’d fallen in love with him. He claimed that I’d fallen for his mind-boggling equestrian skills first… I hadn’t been able to change his mind on that idea—I’d even admitted to him just how quickly I really had fallen for him, but he heard none of it. I didn’t really mind. I couldn’t think of a place I’d have preferred for such a beautiful day.
The ranch had been transformed for the big event, a huge clearing at the front of the house painstakingly perfected for the ceremony. It was a vision of tall grass and wildflowers, well-groomed where the guests were seated, with flowers planted all along the perimeter, but the rest left running wild with riotous white and violet wildflowers.
Large tents had been set up on the side of the property for the reception that would follow.
One of the living areas near the front of the house had been turned into my bridal party’s prep station. The groomsmen waited just outside, in the light-filled foyer, for the bridesmaids.
“Showtime,” Javier told us, grinning.
Stephan and Javier had been more impulsive than we had, and had already gotten married over Christmas. They’d had a gorgeous commitment ceremony in Bali, with a reception afterwards that had turned into a four-day long party with all of their closest friends. The entire trip had been magical, and I’d never seen two happier newlyweds. Even several months later, they were both still glowing with it.
Stephan was happier than I’d ever seen him. Two months ago, he’d even been contacted by one of his sisters. She had just turned eighteen, and moved away for college. She’d found him on Facebook, sending him an earnest message about wanting to meet him. She had apologized for the way he’d been treated by their family, though of course she’d been too young at the time to have anything to do with the way things had happened. Stephan had told me that they were getting to know each other slowly, but that they were chatting nearly every day now.
Javier blew us a kiss before letting the door swing back closed on him. He’d ended up as part of the groom’s party. Dividing our friends had turned into quite the debate. We’d had a row over who would get Stephan. The very idea had made me furious.
In the end, we’d decided on gender-bending wedding parties, with Frankie as James’s best woman, and Stephan as my best man. It only made sense. James had argued that he should get Lana, and I’d made a case for myself getting Javier, but in the end we’d let them choose, so Javier was a groomsmen, and Lana was mine. I knew it was a sign of how blessed we were, that our friends were so intertwined that they belonged to us both.
One of the biggest wedding party upheavals was kneeling at my feet, fretting about some minor detail on the hem of my gown. Jackie had taken some getting used to, but I’d more than gotten used to her. Our friendship had grown over countless thoughtful little notes that she’d left in my closet. Lana had been so right about her—that she needed to be challenged. Something in her nature held a constant need for it, and I didn’t mind obliging. First, I’d insisted on only wearing up and coming designers’ clothes for months, which had made her want to pull her hair out, but I saw that she grew to love the idea, the discovery of new designers presenting that challenge that she craved.
She’d learned to respect me, and as that respect had budded, so had our friendship. And when we’d begun to hunt for my wedding gown, it had grown into a bonafide bond. I’d realized that I had room in my heart for another sister.
Jackie and I hadn’t taken to each other right away, but you wouldn’t know it now. As she’d obsessed over finding the perfect dress, I’d begun to tell her little details that I might like for a gown, and she had added her own persistent suggestions. When she’d begun to make elaborate sketches for the elusive dress, I’d been impressed with her vision, and made the offhanded suggestion that she should design it herself. She’d taken that suggestion to heart, and designed the perfect gown for me. I knew by her talent, and the way the task seemed to fulfill her, that it wouldn’t be her last.
The women began to file from the room, giving me encouraging looks before they left. The looks made me feel a bit like a crazy woman, since they told me clearly that everyone was still a little afraid that I would turn into a runaway bride.
Stephan and I peeked our heads around the corner to catch a glimpse of the altar.
James already stood there, looking too perfect to be real in a sharply tailored tuxedo. He wore the classic black jacket and trouser, with an off-white silk shirt, vest, and tie. His hair was styled artfully out of his face. Frankie stood next to him, decked out in her own sexy version of a tux.
He saw us looking and grinned. He knew I’d be nervous for this, just as I knew that he wouldn’t. We shared one of those complex looks that said we understood each other. His look took the form of an indulgent smile, and mine was a bit of a pained grimace. I ducked back into the room.
In addition to being my best man, Stephan was walking me down the aisle. That one hadn’t even been a question. He wore a tux that was nearly identical to James’s, but with a lavender silk tie. He kept an eye out for our cue to go, naming off the bridal party as they walked, and keeping me up to date on every detail, Stephan style.
“First is Elliot. He’s got the ring on top of his head, and he’s hopping.”
I giggled.
“Now it’s Parker and Sophia. They’re right on his tail, in case he runs off. Oops, he made a dash… No, he’s okay now. I think he was just faking them out.”
We shared a grin. Elliot was too adorable.
“Next up are Lana and Akira. He looks mean as ever, and she is the picture of elegance. Seeing them side by side, they just make sense, but you’d have to see it to believe it, since they’re so dissimilar.”
I had to agree with that observation.
“Now it’s Murphy and Judith. They actually look like they’re trying to behave themselves. I was expecting a little dance down the aisle, YouTube style.”
“Murphy asked me if he could dance, and I said I didn’t mind, as long as no one expected me to,” I said.
“Oh, well, there he goes. They’re doing that shuffle dance. It definitely looks like they practiced.” We shared a laugh.
“And now Javier and Marnie,” Stephan continued. “He looks sexy as hell, and he just winked at me as he passed the door. Now it’s Jessa and Damien. They have huge smiles on their faces.”
He paused watching, his smile fading just a touch. “Next up are Tristan and Danika. It hurts my heart to see those two around each other.”
I knew just what he meant. There was still such a feeling of unresolved issues when the two of them got together. Danika hadn’t been thrilled with the pairing, but she’d been a good sport about it. Always, though, she treated Tristan with cool civility.
“Sven Jr. and Adele are up. They look very model-y.”
“Is that a real word?” I asked playfully.
“Sure. Last up are Jackie and Camden,” he continued. “He just gave her a roguish smile, and she took his arm without sparing him a glance. They make a strange pairing.”
I had to agree. Lana’s brother, Camden, was the opposite of Jackie in just about every way I could think of. He was tall and muscular, with wavy golden hair like his sister, and those same startling violet eyes. He dwarfed the tiny figure of Jackie, and was as playful as she was serious.
Stephan stepped back from the open doorway when the last couple had departed, moving quickly to adjust my skirt, smoothing out my short lace train.
The dress had turned out exquisitely. It was pale cream, with intricate gold-threaded lace, and lush detailing along every inch. It was sleeveless, with a high-collared neckline of sheerest lace, so sheer that my locked-on choker was clearly visible underneath. Jackie’d had the enterprising idea of cutting a hole out for the hoop in the collar, and it had worked perfectly. My choker looked like part of the dress. Underneath I wore a plain white, strapless sheath that came to just above my knees. The lace gown overlaying that was longer, the hem touching the floor, the train trailing lightly behind me. I’d had to be talked into a train, and we’d finally compromised on one that no one would have to carry for me.
He handed me my large bouquet. It was a lovely mix of violet lilies, purple roses, and tidy little white calla lilies. The same flowers had been interwoven into a wreath on my head, showcasing my long hair, which had been painstakingly curled into ringlets that hung down my back.
He touched my cheek lightly, a world of joy in his twinkling blue eyes, before offering me his arm. We began our slow-paced walk down the flower-lined aisle, the sun at our backs, our movements synched from years of perfect accord.
James was a jealous man, the most possessive man I’d ever met. I doubted that there was a thing about me that he didn’t consider his. But he had never made me choose, never made me question or compromise one thing about my relationship with Stephan. He had only accepted, as much as that acceptance must have gone against all of his natural inclinations. I thought that was perhaps the surest sign of his love for me—that he would so obviously put my needs before his own. His love was such a beautiful thing, always so perfectly suited to my own needs, and so unselfish in its way.
He’d made me a believer. We’d been together for nearly a year now, and I was well and truly convinced that we really were made for each other. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty close.
I had thought that looking at Stephan would make me lose it today, but as we drew closer, I realized that the look in Mr. Beautiful’s eyes would be my real undoing. He didn’t bother to hide from our guests those tender eyes that he had just for me. No one there could doubt that he was crazy about me. I didn’t know how I’d ever doubted it myself. Though I had seen the world with different eyes back then. How could I have known that I was being swept into my very own fairytale? I’d never believed in such things.
Stephan handed me to James when we got into reach. James gave me his softest smile, one hand rising to brush the one lone tear that had managed to make its way silently down my cheek.
Abruptly, he pulled me close and kissed me. It lasted long enough, and held enough passion, to draw loud cheers and guffaws from the crowd, and one loudly cleared throat from the minister. I was breathless as he pulled back with a wicked smile.
“It was that or drag you into the nearest room. I couldn’t have you wearing that kissable look for the entire ceremony and not address it,” he murmured to me, shameless as ever.
I was still recovering as the minister began to speak. I let the official words wash over me, my eyes steady, if a little moist, on my love’s.
“We are gathered here today to take part in the most time-honored celebration of the human family, uniting this man and woman in marriage,” the minister began.
I listened to each word of the ceremony carefully, trying to take it all in, but my eyes didn’t waver from his.
We recited our vows, and my voice was as steady as I could make it for my own part. We had opted for short, traditional ones, because I had a strong aversion to public speaking.
Tears ran silently down my cheeks for a lot of it, but James held it together for the most part. That is, right until the end, when the minister was reciting a small part that James had wanted to add.
The minister read, quoting the Benediction of the Apaches.
“Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness for you.”
His gaze never wavered from mine, even as they filled with tears, the tears swiftly overflowing, running down his cheeks before the minister had finished the line.
I reached up and softly wiped them away with my hands. It was only fair. He had been quietly drying my tears through the entire ceremony.
“For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.”
There were a few more lines in that lovely addition to the vows, but I barely heard them as I watched my bridegroom’s trembling lips form the words, “I love you,” in a hushed whisper.
Vaguely, I heard the famous line about kissing the bride, but I hadn’t even registered the words before James was pulling me against him in a soft, sweet kiss. It was a kiss full of finesse, and held a promise of forever. My own lips answered that promise eagerly.
I gasped and let out an embarrassed little screech as he suddenly lifted me high in the air. He laughed, spinning me.
My hands gripped his shoulders as his eyes laughed into mine.
“We did it, Love,” he told me softly, his voice filled with quiet wonder. “You’re mine, forever, Mrs. Cavendish.”
I shook my head at him as he lowered me slowly back to the ground. His joy was infectious, and I was quickly laughing with him. “You’re insane. I’ve been yours all along, Mr. Cavendish.”
5 YEARS LATER
I awoke to the strangest sensation in my lower regions, which had grown almost numb over the past few weeks.
I patted the hand that was wrapped around my middle. “James,” I gasped.
I felt him tense against me, instantly awake. “Is it time, Bianca?”
I bit my lip, mortified. “I don’t know. Either my water just broke or I wet myself.”
The bastard laughed, and I elbowed him hard. He was up and at my side of the bed, grinning like a loon, between one second and the next. He studied my wet legs and I squeezed my eyes shut tight, as embarrassed as I’d ever been in my life.
“Did my water break?” I asked him.
He continued to study me, his brow furrowed. “I don’t know how to tell. You can’t tell?”
I shrugged, miserable. “It’s all just numb at the moment.” I swallowed, hating to ask. “Will you smell it?”
He wasn’t offended. He never was. He was the most dutiful of husbands for a first time pregnant mess of a woman.
I couldn’t look at him as he tentatively checked.
“No scent. I think we’re having our baby, Love.”
We both knew what to do, and James sprang into action, but I couldn’t seem to move at first, overwhelmed at the thought that the next time we came back here, we would be bringing a baby home with us.
I heard James talking on his phone in the closet. “Stephan. It’s time. You have five minutes to meet us at the car, or else you’ll have to meet us at the hospital.” He paused. “Very sure. Her water broke. We all get to meet our baby today.”
He was back at my side a few moments later, already dressed. I wasn’t much help as he pulled off my nightgown, and slipped a comfortable frock over my head.
“Can you stand?” he asked gently.
I nodded, and stood slowly, feeling ungainly. James helped me, his strong arms keeping me steady until I could stand on my own.
He knelt at my feet, using a wet cloth to clean me, and changing my underwear without a word. He wrapped an arm around my waist, the other firmly holding my arm, as he led me down the stairs, and to the garage.
Clark and Blake were waiting for us beside a large black SUV. We had packed for the hospital months ago, courtesy of Control Freak Cavendish, so I was relieved not to have to worry about it just then.
James made sure I was comfortably ensconced and securely buckled in before he got in himself. My huge belly had made everything difficult lately, and I’d never appreciated his unending solicitude more than I had during the trials of pregnancy.
Clark backed the car out, getting just outside of the colossal garage before stopping, a huge grin on his face as he glanced back at us. “The guys made it,” he told us.
I glanced behind the car, seeing our two favorite neighbors booking it across the property, Stephan leaving Javier in the dust on his way to our car.
James and I shared a happy smile.
Seconds later Stephan was getting into the car, breathless and shooting me concerned looks. He climbed into the row of seats behind us, moving directly behind me so he could kiss the top of my head before he sat.
“How are you? How’s our baby?” he asked me, looking at James.
James couldn’t stop grinning. “Our baby is ready to meet us today.”
I rubbed my belly, trying not to stress out about the ordeal to come. James saw my action, and bent down to kiss my belly, as he had countless times over the last eight and a half months. I stroked a hand over his silky hair.
Javier climbed into the car as James was still paying homage to my big belly. He smiled at the sight. “We won’t be seeing that quite so often after today,” he said.
I patted James on the head. “I’ll miss it,” I said softly.
He shifted so he could meet my eyes, his cheek still pressed softly to my belly. “We can do this as many times as you want, Mrs. Cavendish.”
We were ten minutes from the hospital, and it was a talkative car ride, so the drive went by in a flash, as did my admission into the hospital, expedited by my ungodly rich husband. They had me in a bed in what I figured had to be a record.
Dr. Lisa practically met us there, looking as though she hadn’t been dragged out of bed, though I knew that she had. She smiled at me reassuringly. “You’re going to be a mother today,” she told me, after a short examination.
It was a daunting thought.
Several harrowing hours later, more so for James than for me, I thought, and a little bundle of joy was placed in my arms.
I had been so sure that a child would open up old wounds—just rip apart the things inside of me that had never quite healed. Even after I’d been sure that I did want children, and even during the pregnancy, when I’d felt those first profound stirrings of the perfect love of a mother, I’d felt that doubt. There was no way that I could have known that seeing our son’s perfect face would have the opposite effect. It hadn’t ripped me open. It didn’t aggravate those wounds. Like my love for James, it only healed me. As James always said he had done with me, I fell in love with Duncan Stephan Cavendish at first sight.