CHAPTER TEN

York

 

Later on, Blythe and I are smiling like idiots because our men are some of the sexiest, most charming creatures we’ve ever encountered. And though she’s beaming, Blythe has massive purple bags under her eyes, and it took a lot of coursing for Korben to leave us alone in his private lair. I have to hand it to Blythe, Korben’s room is pretty boss – at least twice the size of Azan’s and filled with lavish items, obviously screaming – highly intelligent race. A stark red piece of fabric that feels like a weighted blanket drapes across the massive bed, and I can’t help the pang of jealousy blossoming in my chest. Blythe’s set up is so much nicer, but she looks like shit, so I show mercy.

“You look happy but tired.” I take a seat on the bed next to her. “I haven’t seen you in a few days, so I wanted to check in on you. Azan said your prince was being downright bitchy about letting me see you. What’s up with that? Don’t tell me he’s gone all Draken in heat now that you’re his?”

She laughs, sounding tired. Again. “He’s possessive alright, but not in the way you think. He’s worried because he didn’t think it would happen so soon.” She blushes and pushes her hand through her dark hair. “Honestly, I didn’t think it would happen so soon either.”

“What?”

“Didn’t the girls tell you?” She drops her tired gaze down to her stomach before flipping it back towards me. “They think I’m pregnant. I think I am too.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re not pregnant, Blythe. You’ve barely known the guy a month.”

“I don’t know, York,” she says firmly. “I feel different.”

“Not getting raped will do that to you.”

“Not funny. I thought you of all people would want to talk about this with me—”

“Why me of all people?”

Blythe stands and gingerly walks over to a small dresser, grabs a stainless-steel looking mug and sips its contents.

“You’re next.”

I blush. Yes, I talked about building a family with Azan, but that doesn’t mean I’m down for more girl talk, despite how much I like Blythe as a person.

“Look, Azan and I just started—”

“If it’s not you, it’s going to be someone else.” She shakes her head. “I thought you wanted to ask me questions. Why do you think I was able to convince Korben to let you come down here?”

“Pussy pillow talk?” I roll my eyes again, but I feel bad, so I try to smile. “Azan and I talked about it, yes, but having kids isn’t anything that’s going to happen right away.”

“That’s what I thought, and now look.”

“Blythe, you’re not pregnant. You haven’t seen a doctor. Wait, have you seen a doctor?” If a doctor was flown here under the radar, then I’m damn impressed with Azan’s ability to keep me sexually distracted.

“One of them here is like a former medical staffer.” She notices me freeze up. “He doesn’t have all his tools, but let’s just say he was able to figure it out the natural way.”

“Who?” I snap before frowning. “Ew, and what natural way?”

“Chentan. He’s one of the older ones who stays in the second lair. He’s one of the only people here that know anything about human anatomy, and he’s pretty confident I’m pregnant.”

“What’s he basing that on? Smell?” She can’t be pregnant. Not this quickly. Not this soon. I’m not ready to think about actually getting pregnant yet! Not to mention, Azan and I have had a lot of sex the past few days.

I mean, a lot of sex.

Blythe flushes, embarrassed. “If I tell you how he knows, you’re going to freak out. Please don’t freak out.”

“I’m already freaked out. Tell me.”

“He…” she pinches her eyes shut. “He tasted my urine.”

“What the actual fuck? Gross! He licked your piss?”

Blythe holds up her hands. “Yes, I know it’s weird and nasty, but it’s the only way he could know for sure. Apparently, there’s a difference in the taste. You know how Sidyths are with their tongues, and Chentan’s confident I have a sprog in me.”

“A sprog,” I scoff. “I hate that term.”

The two of us fall silent as I allow the news to sink in slowly. If Blythe’s right, if the creepy-urine-tasting Sidyth’s right, she’s pregnant. It took next to no time for it to happen. Ugh, but no!

Just because she looks tired.

Just because she’s sick.

That can’t mean she’s pregnant!

But I can’t ignore the idea of tasting urine. If anyone could taste a difference in urine, a Sidyth can. Their tongues taste the air through scent.

And if it’s possible for her…

“Have you an Azan had a lot of sex?” Blythe asks.

“Ohh… hell, Blythe. Don’t ask me that.”

“You don’t have to turn into a prude,” she teases, sounding more like her normal self as she takes another long sip from her cup. She notices me looking at it and smiles. “It’s something Chentan created with some of the herbs shipped out here. Apparently, it helps with tiredness? Kind of like coffee, but no caffeine, so it’s safe for the baby.” She shrugs. “I honestly don’t know; I’m out of my element. Which is why I was kind of hoping you’d be in the same boat with me.”

“The pregnant boat,” I scoff, dropping my face into my palms. “Oh God, this can’t be happening.”

“You love him, don’t you?” Blythe comes to stand next to me.

I think of Azan. His kind face. His soft words. His scaled fingers and his insatiable dick. “Of course.”

“And you know Korben’s going to do everything he can to make sure you can stay with him?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the problem?” Her voice turns gentle. Ugh, practically motherly! How is this happening? “So you’ll be a mom a little earlier than planned. I’m sure it’s not going to be just us. Once Hujun stops lying to himself about Ellis—”

“I’m not pregnant!” I blurt, not wanting to think about the possibility. To know a Sidyth I’ve never met before is going to taste my pee and tell me if I’m already carrying Azan’s baby is creepy enough. I can’t deal. It’s so scary I’m about to have a panic attack. I take a few deep breaths, desperately wishing for one of my Mom’s oil diffusers. I could go for some orange and patchouli right about now.

“Don’t get yourself so worked up,” Blythe says, resting a hand on my shoulder and carefully rubbing circles. “If you’re pregnant, you’re not going to be alone.”

“I’m not pregnant. I can’t be. It’s only been a few weeks.”

“When was the last time you had your period?”

I frown. “A few weeks ago. I don’t bother keeping track. Most of these aliens are not compatible with us anyway.”

“None of us are on birth control. You know what the contract said. Apparently, the entire galaxy is under the belief that if we’re meant to carry a baby, it’s going to happen. There’s no stopping it.” She shakes her head. “Seems a little crazy for supposedly higher intelligence, but whatever. York, you should have Chentan check—”

“I’m not having a stranger taste my piss!” I scream, going to the doorway. “I can’t do this. I’m glad you’re okay. And yes, I’m in love with Azan, but there’s no way I’m fucking pregnant. There’s no way!”

Blythe doesn’t follow as I sprint from the room, and I’m secretly happy she isn’t hunting me down. Pregnant or not, she looks like Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby, and I’m not talking before she went to Vidal Sassoon. Still, I have to get away, the idea of carrying Azan’s baby so soon is too much for me to handle. I can’t go back to Azan’s room and pretend everything’s cool.

If it’s not you, it’s going to be someone else.

I cover my ears, trying to block out Blythe’s calm, motherly voice, wondering if that drink is somehow an upper and a downer at the same time. She’s so calm about everything I can’t stand it. More than anything, I’m worked up because a few days ago I was totally okay with carrying Azan’s baby. That doesn’t mean I’ll be cool with it a few days later!

I need to get away.

I need to think.

And there’s only one place I can go where I’ll have total and actual privacy.

 

***

 

The rain is like a stiff drink, slowly calming, but eventually numbing as I pull my knees up to my chest and stare out through the hole of Azan’s private cave. It’s dark, but I turned on the single sun rayer, so I’m not in total darkness. I’m relieved Glykoran was nice enough to let me leave without Azan, though Celeste seemed surprised to watch me stroll out alone into the murky darkness. I’m happy to be alone again.

I need some time to think.

Absently, I rub my belly, wondering if it’s possible.

A few weeks on a rainy planet filled with exiled Sidyths and I’m knocked up by an alien? Do these guys have super sperm?

I’m a logical person. I can’t go on feelings and assumptions, but I can go on facts. I don’t like that Blythe has both to back up her ridiculous claim of being impregnated by a Sidyth prince. Korben would probably never let Blythe think she was pregnant unless she actually was, and he’s certainly treating her like she’s carrying one his offspring.

Am I next?

I close my eyes and lean back, take in a deep sigh and try to focus on the sound of the falling rain. I swear, there are voices beyond the cave, but I’m probably losing focus because I’m in a panic. Everyone else is back at the lairs, and Glykoran would never let anyone else leave if he thought they would harm me. Thank God Azan’s so menacing. I’m basically untouchable now because I’m his mate. It’s okay, and it’s also weird because while I want to be away from the others, I don’t want to be alone completely.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here?”

I nearly shit my pants when I realize I’m not alone, and a massive shadow’s fallen over the opening of the cave. Blinking, I realize that of course, it’s only Azan, but he looks pretty pissed. He’s breathing hard, glistening with rain off his pale skin, and toned frame. I’m a little embarrassed because he was worried about me and – he falls to his knees and grasps his hands in mine, kissing my knuckles.

What the hell?

“You mustn’t do that again.” His voice sounds strained as he presses his lips to my knuckles several more times. “I was so worried. You mustn’t do that again. Don’t leave and not tell me where you’re going.” He holds my hands tightly while I try to find the words, but I’m left utterly speechless. He’s not mad. He’s worried I left him and didn’t tell him where I went.

“I’m sorry,” I manage to gasp out. “I…”

“Please,” he says again, sounding more pained. “The thoughts I had. I could have killed Glykoran. Do not assume because it’s raining, it doesn’t mean they won’t—” He kisses my hands again. “Please, if you want to come to the cave, fine. But please, tell me. We’ll go together.”

“I’m sorry.” I’m still unsure why Azan’s so upset and worried, but I reach out and hug him tightly, enjoying his chilled, scaled skin against mine. “I needed some time to think.”

“Why?” He pushes away and fixes me with a strange look. “I tried to ask Korben’s mate what was wrong, but she didn’t say anything. She only said you ran out.”

“Oh…uh…” I blush, surprised that Blythe didn’t rat me out. Out in the rain, I’d almost forgotten why I came out to the cave in the first place, and my eyes immediately drift down to my stomach before flickering back to Azan’s.

“Are you sick?” He pulls me close again, and his fingers stroke through my hair. It’s hard not to get in lost in his gentle touch. “You mustn’t come here—”

“I’m not sick.” I give him a few moments to check me over. He probably won’t be able to settle until he thinks I’m okay. He brushes his hands across my cheeks and chest, managing not to make it sexual, which is pretty impressive in itself.

“No,” he says quietly. “You seem to be okay.” He reaches out and grabs my hands, noticing they’re still trembling. “But you are troubled. What is wrong?”

I bite my lower lip, wishing there was some way to tell him what needs to be said without sounding like a total idiot. How do you tell an alien you might be knocked up with his baby?

“York, please. I’m starting to worry.”

“Azan, Blythe thinks I might be pregnant.”

His hands freeze in the air before dropping to his side. His chin lifts, and he searches my face with an intensity in his eyes that almost makes me shake harder. “A sprog?”

His attention drifts down to my stomach. I nod slowly, and he cups my tummy with both hands. It’s such a tender touch I get a little excited but try to keep myself composed.

“Why would she think she is with sprog?”

“Blythe’s pregnant, and the more I talked to her, the more she became convinced I might be pregnant too. Azan, we’ve had a lot of sex these past few days.” A smile flickers across his handsome face, but now’s not the time to get caught up in my alien’s beauty. “And I don’t know. I’ve lost track of when I’m supposed to have my period, and it feels entirely too soon, but… I don’t know. Something about the way Blythe looked at me. Something about the way my heart hiccupped, I don’t know. I feel like I should at least get looked at. For peace of mind or something.”

Azan’s silent and blinking. His eyes dance down to my stomach and then back to my face several times, and I can’t quite get a read on what he’s thinking. Maybe he’s trying to process it. Maybe he’s so excited, he’s stunned?

I can’t take the silence much longer.

“Say something, please. Now’s not the time for you to be quiet, Azan.”

“You believe it’s possible?” His voice is low and hesitant, and cold, nervous sweat prickles on the tip of my nose. “You think you could be carrying my sprog?”

“Like I said, I don’t know, Azan. Blythe mentioned there’s a med specialist here—”

“Chentan. Yes, over at the second lair. He has some background and understanding of human anatomy. He’s the one that said humans would be a good match for Sidyths, especially for the price.” I frown and lower my head, and Azan immediately seizes my hands and pulls them against his chest. “I did not mean it like that. I only mean he understands how humans work better than most of us here combined.” He swallows hard. “He thinks Korben’s Chosen is with sprog?” I nod. “We should see Chentan as soon as possible, then to make sure you’re okay.”

I tilt my head to the side, wondering what he means by this. “It’s probably nothing, Azan. I’m going for peace of mind.”

“Yes, but we must also make sure we know immediately if you are carrying my sprog because we may have to go against the rules set by the Galactic Federation and terminate it.”

“Terminate it? But that’s illegal. If anyone finds out, we’d be put to death.”

He looks ashen. “I mean… we don’t… we may have to risk it. I’m sure Chentan could take care of it discreetly.”

“But why? Why terminate at all? I thought this is what you wanted.”

“It is! But without proper medical care… there may not be any way of knowing.”

“Knowing what?”

“If the sprog is like me.”

My eyes widen. Oh. Right. Poisonous mate. Possible poisonous child. “Shit. I completely forgot about that.”

“Yes. Shit.” He shakes his head. “It would be one thing if we had the medical expertise of home, but I’m not sure if I trust Chentan to know if you’ll be alright carrying a child who ends up like me. Mama never told me much about her experience other than she did not like it.”

I want to scoff. I wouldn’t be surprised if Azan’s mom didn’t even know he was poisonous until his fangs grew in… but of course, I don’t say that. I know next to nothing about Sidyths and their medical practices.

A silence falls between us, and only the gentle flutter of rain reminds me that life has not come to a complete stop. Carrying a poisonous child is terrifying, and I could punch myself in the face for forgetting such an important possibility. Azan, for all his intelligence, kindness, and beauty, has poisonous fangs. Poison that could be passed on to a child, who I may or may not be carrying.

Poisonous or not, I could find a way to survive. It’s only a baby. I can do this.

Looking at Azan, I feel stronger.

“Azan, whether I’m pregnant or not, whether the child is like you or not, we’ll figure something out.” Azan shakes his head, and I slide closer, resting my head on his shoulder. “I’m not going to take this baby away from you. I know how much you want a family.”

“Not at the cost of your life, York.”

I shake my head. “I’m not going to die. If I am pregnant, I’m having this baby, and I’m staying alive for you.” It’s not a fact. There’s no guarantee, but the words won’t stop. I need to hear them. Azan needs to hear them. This baby, real or not, needs to hear them. “Azan? Do you hear me? I’m not going anywhere. I’m giving you this child. I’m giving you the family you never had.”

“You can’t know that.”

I don’t. Carrying an alien’s baby is scary because I don’t know what’s going to happen, but at least I know some things. I love Azan. I want to carry this baby. I want to give him a family.

“I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself because of my childish fantasies—”

“Wanting children and a family is not a childish fantasy. Do you want this?” I rub my stomach. “Do you want a son or daughter of your own? One to look up at you, and call you Daddy and love you more than anything in the world?”

He licks his lips.

“More than anything.”

“Then you need to trust me when I say I’ll stay alive for you. If there is a baby inside of me, I’ll give this child to you, and once I do it one time, I’ll be more willing to give you another. And another. As many as you want, Azan.” I crawl into his lap and take his face into my hands. “Because you are a good man, Azan. You need kids to look up to you like you’re the sun, the moon, and the stars. I want the honor of giving that to you. Will you at least let me try? If I’m pregnant. Will you give me the chance to give this gift to you?”

His eyes dart back and forth. “I can give you nothing in return.”

“Are you kidding me, Azan?” I reach behind his head to unbuckle the mask and kiss him deeply. He groans into my mouth, gently taking my hips in his enormous hands to keep me steady. “Azan, you’ve given me everything! You’ve given me kindness. You’ve given me something different. I’m going to be okay.” I squeeze his cheeks. “You want to know how I know?”

“How do you know?”

“I chose you. If there is a higher power, he or she wouldn’t have brought us to together if they didn’t think I could carry this child for you.” It’s not exactly a religious statement, but it sure feels like I’m putting my faith in something beyond the spiritual. But I don’t know what else to do or say to convince Azan I can carry his baby, and I won’t do this without him.

“Say we’ll go see Chentan,” I whisper, brushing my lips against his. “Say it’ll be okay if I’m pregnant.”

“We’ll see him,” he croaks. “It’ll be okay.”

“Yes.” I kiss him again.

It will be.

Now, if I can only get over the ick factor of how Chentan is going to figure out if I’m carrying a baby or not.

I guess there are no readily available pregnancy tests on a planet full of exiled Sidyths.