CHAPTER SEVEN

York

 

For some reason, I feel like I’m back home, and I’ve been invited back to a hot guy’s apartment for the first time. I’ve spent plenty of time in Azan’s lair, but the place he’s led me to now is much more intimate. The walk isn’t easy, especially in the downpour, but I certainly didn’t complain when Azan decided to pick me up fireman style and cradle me against his bare chest. Despite the rain, his scaled skin is still cool to the touch, and his thumping heartbeat must have lulled me to sleep because when I open my eyes again, we’re in a much smaller space.

I smell the rain. It’s like lavender and bergamot with a hint of pine. I love it.

“Where are we?” Azan lowers me to the ground, and I spin around.

This new environment is a cave with a small opening facing towards the rain but not big enough that water seeps through. The ceiling is just barely high enough for Azan to stand without hunching down. The space is warm and quiet, and though it’s totally poor camping style, I love it. It’s only us here now. Us and the rain. None of his brothers are going to disturb us, and I don’t have the slightest clue how far away we are from Korben’s lair.

Can I say how much I love that Azan can handle the rain?

It makes me feel as though there’s a private part of this world for us. What did Azan say the name of this planet is?

Hethdiss. Even the name is soft and elegant like the weather and scent perfuming the cave.

There’s only a single sun rayer, but the space is so small it provides enough light to see a small, fuzzy, blanket laid out over the dirt floor with another two draped on top.

“Lay down,” Azan says, sounding a bit more confident than usual, and maybe that’s because we’re alone. He’s not afraid of someone questioning him being with me.

Giddy, I lay down on my stomach, so I’m able to keep watching the rain and Azan immediately drapes one of the thick blankets over my skin. It reminds me of fake rabbit fur, but I don’t tell him because I’m not sure he knows what a rabbit is, and I don’t want to know if I’m nuzzling under animal carcass. After I snuggle in, I’m surprised when Azan sits next to me on the blanket, legs crossed.

I rise up on my elbows.

“There’s plenty of room in here, you know.” I brush my fingertip against his scaled knee. I’m always surprised Sidyths – despite looking wet and slimy – feel like the most expensive snakeskin purses. It makes me miss home sometimes, and all the things filling my mother’s closet. I keep tracing my finger up and down his knee and thigh remembering all the things I’ve lost but never loved. I’m petting a Sidyth. It’s almost funny, if not for the fact I’m getting wet and Azan’s already sporting a massive hard-on.

His eyes drop to his crotch, and then flicker back to me. “I carried you up here, you know.”

“Of course. My ass rubbed your dick.” I snicker. “It was inevitable.”

“With you around? Yes, it’s inevitable my cock will harden.” He smirks, and I love how I can tell he’s smiling even with his mouth covered.

Speaking of which…

“You can take that thing off now. It’s just us.” I stop petting his knee long enough to smile up at him. “I want to see your mouth.”

His sharp cheekbones flush with color against his pale skin, but he doesn’t argue, quickly removing the mask and tossing it to the corner of the cave. He turns back to me slowly, and I can’t help my nipples hardening under his nervous gaze.

“Come in here.” I open the blanket, so there’s room for him to slide in.

“I shouldn’t—”

“Why?”

His tongue darts out and his eyes widen. Oh yes. He should know damn well by now why I need him under the covers with me. He slides under the blanket next to me, but instead of laying on his stomach, he lies on his side, so he can face me. I turn my head, and our noses almost touch. It’s amazing he’s so close to me and not feeling embarrassed. When it comes to sexy times, Azan can’t get too nervous.

“Do you like my cave?”

I can’t help but smile at the hilariousness of this question. It’s so primitive, and so not what I was used to before I got into this line of work. York, five years ago, would never have set foot into a cave. York, five years ago, would have never openly pursued someone as dangerous looking as Azan. York, five months ago, would have never considered living with and loving a Sidyth, let alone considering carrying his offspring.

Yet, here I am.

“I love it here. I love the quiet.”

“I’m glad.” Azan shifts a bit closer to me until his cock presses against my stomach. He doesn’t seem to mind, and I certainly don’t. “I like coming here when it’s been raining for a few days, and I need some peace from the others.” He closes his eyes. “No one will come to find me out here, and this blanket is one of my personal belongings Dolan tricked my parents into sending with Korben’s deliveries.”

I frown. I’m not sure I like the idea of Azan having to trick his parents into sending him something as simple as a blanket. “I’m pretty sure I don’t like your parents.”

“Don’t worry; you’ll never have to meet them.”

His gaze flickers back to the opening of the cave, and for some reason, his last statement leaves me a bit stung. Never meet his parents. Is that because he’s not planning to stay with me forever, or just plain, not stay here on Hethdiss? Because, despite everything, it’s obvious Azan still has a relationship with his family, no matter how salty.

I try not to focus on that but more on his muscular, cool body rubbing up against mine. The air is muggy in the cave, but Azan runs at a pretty low temperature, and his chilled skin keeps me from all-too-sexily sweating. His cock twitches, brushing against my tummy, and it’s hard not to want to jump his bones in this little cave with the sound of rain behind us, but Azan’s a virgin, and I’m not sure I’m ready to deflower him. I may be twenty-one, but I’ve certainly had my fair share of pleasure over the years – even before I became a Human Whore.

My lady boner deflates slightly knowing Azan probably isn’t going to jump me like Korben pounced on Blythe. Being a prince, I’m sure he’s also had months’ worth of pleasure, so it probably wasn’t a big thing to either of them at first. Azan’s different, and though I’m pretty familiar with how to pleasure an alien, I’ve never had to pleasure one I actually care about – let alone one who may be the father of my children one day.

I lower my eyes below the blanket, hoping to steal an up close and personal glimpse of his dick to see what I’m working with, but I’ve forgotten it’s covered by his shorts.

“On most of my assignments,” I say absently, almost losing my nerve when Azan looks at me fully, “they made me sleep naked. I… uh… I’m kind of used to it.”

It’s a truth and a lie, and Azan sucks in a breath, dropping his attention to what’s hidden beneath the blanket. He must smell my arousal.

“You never slept in the nude before,” he says slowly.

“With buyers, I mean.” I pinch my eyes shut. “That’s not what I mean. I’m used to…”

“Are you hot?”

“Uhhh… sure,” I lie, already going to remove my top and slip off my skirt. Making all the moves is a little weird, but if Azan’s going to be shy, someone’s going to take the lead, or he’s going to die a virgin. “You can get naked too, you know. Uh… if you want.”

“Would that be alright with you?” He immediately rises into a seated position.

I glance down at his fully erect dick.

“It’s fine with me.”

He shrugs and shimmies off his shorts before tossing them into the corner with his mask and my clothes and then joins me back in the blankets. He doesn’t seem the least bit embarrassed, which, I will say, is encouraging. Plus, I’m practically getting myself off by pretending to get comfortable against him, by rubbing my body up and down his hard length with a sneaky smile.

“I do not mind being naked, but I did not want to frighten you off by being too forward,” Azan continues, staring out at the rain. If he’s noticed me rubbing against him, he’s doing a fine job of ignoring it – or he’s that fucking oblivious. “It’s bad enough having this disease.”

I roll my eyes. “You don’t have a disease. You have fangs. They have poison in them. We have snakes with the same thing back home.”

He lowers his chin. “Snakes?”

“Yeah.”

“Snakes are animals back at your home?” He narrows his eyes. “And you say they are like me?”

I smirk, trying to compare Azan to a snake in a pet store downtown. “They’re not seven feet tall, and they can’t talk, but there’s definitely some similarities.” I lift my hand and trace a finger under his eye. “Snakes have yellow eyes like this and scales too. Though yours are much prettier.”

“Prettier? Males do not like being called pretty.”

I blush. “Sorry. It’s the color. It’s incredible.” I continue tracing up and down his face, flicking a few of the scales away from his skin. I love the color. Azan’s skin is pale, but the scales are iridescent; shimmering with a mixture of yellow, blue, and green.

“And are these snakes attractive?”

“On purses,” I say quickly, realizing my horrible mistake. Azan flinches back, eyes wide, and I quickly backpedal. “Snakes aren’t humanoid! Not at all! They’re animals.”

“Animals that are killed to make accessories for humans?”

I bite my lower lip. It sounds bad when he says it like that.

“Did you ever own a purse, with scales like this?” He holds his forearm up to my face, cocking his head to the side.

I blush. “Yes, but it’s not like I killed and skinned the thing myself.”

“The thing.”

His arm lowers, and I still can’t tell if I’ve made him more upset or not. He can’t be too angry; he knows how humans are viewed in the galaxy. We’re slaves, so he would have a lot of nerve getting pissed off that my mom owned a pair of snakeskin heels and some purses.

“I suppose all creatures are monsters in their own way,” he mutters before settling back into the blankets.

“I’m sorry,” I say, not even sure why, but I’m relieved when he doesn’t leave or start an argument. Still, it’s kind of jarring to think how humans are viewed by aliens. Sidyths are terrifying, yes, but humans turn Sidyths – cousins, or whatever – into purses and shoes. Huh. The circle of life, I suppose. I’m growing worried that Azan is going to start looking at me differently when he shifts amongst the blankets and carefully takes my face in one of his large hands.

“You do not need to be sorry for your people’s customs if I do not have to be sorry for mine. Does that sound fair to you?”

I dare to smile. “Sounds good.”

This agreement seems to satisfy us, and we fall into my favorite part of our time together. The comfortable silence. I close my eyes, becoming lost in the scent and sound of the rain, thinking about the cave we’re lying in together, and how much my life has changed since arriving. Coming to this planet was supposed to be another assignment. Nothing more. And yet, here I am with a poisonous Sidyth, laying in a cave and watching the rain. There’s something so surreal about my life, and it’s hard to imagine others not wanting this.

I should talk to the girls tomorrow.

Or the next day.

Ugh, whenever I see them next.

With the way things are now, I may never leave this cave.

The hours pass lazily with occasional small chatter; I’m starting to yawn more and more. And though I’m tired, I’m not entirely satisfied, so I nuzzle closer under Azan’s chin. He sucks in a breath, probably surprised I would put my face so close to his fangs, and he quickly scoots away.

“That is dangerous,” he rumbles. “I was almost asleep.”

“It’s okay.”

His expression turns hard. “If I accidentally pierce you, I might kill you. That would not be okay.”

“I’ve had a good run,” I tease, but Azan does not find me funny, and in a moment’s breath, he’s rolled over on top of me, staring down with an annoyed and yet somehow heated expression.

“That is not funny. I have Chosen you. Do you know what would happen to me if I lost you?”

I tilt my head. “You’d have to become more familiar with your right hand?”

He seems less amused. Ugh, I’m doing it again; using humor to decrease tension. Azan isn’t falling for it. He has no reason to be intimidated by me.

“I would kill myself.”

I sit up on my elbows in shock, but Azan uses his arm to keep me locked down. I stare at him while he takes in a few, deep, unsteady breaths. There’s no sweat on his skin, but he seems flushed with agitation.

“I would die if I lost you, York,” he says, seriousness lacing his tone.

“Azan, I was kidding.”

“It was not funny,” he says, lowering one of his hands and brushing his fingers against my pussy. I gasp out. I don’t think there’s anything he could have done that would have shocked me more. It’s… downright scandalous. “If I kill you, I could not touch you here.”

“Not funny,” I manage to gasp out. Whatever happened to my shy virgin? The man above me oozes confidence, and my hips buck greedily as he thrusts scaled fingers into my folds a few more times. It feels good. Way too good. How can his fingers alone fill me so easily?

“If I kill you, I would never be able to touch you here.” His voice turns thick as he continues to dip and pull his fingers from my pussy. I try and fail to remain composed. My nipples are rock hard, and my eyes are locked on Azan’s intense gaze. If this is how he wants me to understand that I need to be careful around him, I look forward to more lessons. “Wouldn’t you miss this? Me pleasuring you with my fingers?”

“Yes,” I moan, pushing my pussy harder into his fingers. “Oh God… yes.” I’ve never been sorrier for making light of an intense situation. I wasn’t taking him seriously enough, oh fuck, I shouldn’t have made a joke, but I am enjoying the reality check. “Azan, that feels good.”

“Your expressions would have told me that,” he whispers, lowering his face towards mine. “If you were dead, I would not be able to care for you like this. I would not be able to find the courage to one day fill you with my cock instead of my fingers.” I shudder harder, narrowing my eyes for a better look at his dick. There’s a drop of precum on the tip, and I desperately want to lick it off.

I gasp harder as Azan increases his tempo and wanting to join in; I start to rub my nipples. Azan sucks in an unsteady breath at this, watching me carefully as though taking notes. After only a few more moments, he flicks my hand away and takes over, brushing his massive thumb against my nipple.

“Sidyth women do not like to be touched in this way,” he explains. “Do you like this?”

“Oh yes,” I manage to choke out. “Oh… hell yes.”

The corner of his mouth quirks up in a sexy smile, and I close my eyes, growing lost in the sensory overdrive. I’m so greedy and selfish. I should be pleasuring him now, but it’s been so long, so long since pleasure’s been all about me. For years, I’ve blown aliens, pleasured aliens and never been able to finish because some found it funny to not let us have our own sexual relief. And Azan? He’s letting this all be about me. Every touch, every gasp, every gaze, and every moment is for my pleasure alone. It’s hard not to grow more excited knowing this is a man who cares only about my pleasure – for now.

Once I start showing him what I can do, I’m sure things will shift towards equilibrium.

For now, I take what he’s giving me; calloused, heavy hands against my breasts and teasing my folds. His scaled sack swelling with seed, and his cock dripping pre-cum as he continues to watch me getting more and more aroused.

It’s never felt so good to lose control, but it’s odd not to kiss and not have his mouth on my pussy. This is great, but there’s a part of me that wants sex. So. Much. Sex.

I arch my back as Azan twirls his finger around my clit, and I’m gasping out his name like I’m learning to speak for the first time. Maybe I am because I’ve never called for a man like this before. His finger unravels inside, and my toes curl when one of his longer fingernails brushes against the side of my pussy.

“Better than the claws, right?”

Huh? I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I don’t want him to stop.

“Better,” I agree, bucking harder. An orgasm builds between my thighs, all the way up to my hair follicles. I’m not going to last much longer, but I want… “Kiss me,” I manage to gasp between Azan’s frenzied finger thrusts. His nostrils flare. “Kiss me, Azan. Please. I need… you… to… kiss me.”

His head lowers and a capped fang brushes against my cheek. I don’t care about the danger. I need this man’s mouth on mine. I need it more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.

“Kiss me, Azan,” I wail, crying out as I reach my climax. “Please—” His lips land on mine. “Fuck!” I gasp when he lets my mouth free, and the orgasm explodes through my body as he pulls his face away, but not his fingers, still pumping lazily inside of me. “Oh… oh God,” I breath, surprised my orgasm is still coming like it’s not ready to end. It feels good, all too fucking good, and I manage to seize Azan’s neck and pull his mouth back to mine before he can escape. I want to hold him. I need to hold him.

He keeps working his fingers, deeper and harder, and it only takes a few more lazy thrusts before I hiss loudly and jerk as another orgasm hits me.

“Damn!” I scream, falling back against the blankets, my entire body contorting with aftershocks. Only then does Azan remove his fingers, looking entirely too proud of himself.

Men. They’re the same no matter where you go in the galaxy, I guess.

I lean back, hardly surprised when Azan holds up his finger and it’s coated in my juices.

I shake my head, trying not to laugh.

“Seriously?”

He dips the glistening finger into his mouth, sucking greedily as though he can’t get enough. The sound alone should be enough to freak me out, but it’s so fucking sexy to watch him lap up my juice like it’s the finest of champagnes, that I can’t move to stop him. I’m still recovering from two incredibly powerful orgasms, so I watch him with a smirk.

My eyes drop down to his dick, still throbbing and unfulfilled. Some of the scales have flared, exposing the pale skin beneath. “Do you want me to take care of that?” I wet my lips as I take in his cock with hungry eyes.

He turns, surprise written all over his beautiful features, and once I’m able to sit up again, I stroke his length a few times, simply to feel the scales against my fingertips. The scales remind me of sage leaves, soft and velvety, and the familiar scent of clary sage radiating from the tip of his dick is all too fitting. He gasps in surprise, more delicious pre-cum dripping, and making me smile.

“I could lose control.” Azan rests his hand over mine. “You do not have to feel as though you owe me anything. I am happy to give you pleasure and take care of my own.”

I’m bowled over by this. “Huh? Take care of yourself? When I’m right here and ready?”

“York,” he manages, already starting to move my hand away. I remain firm and seize his entire dick… uh… sort of. Did I mention Sidyths rock cocks the size of roadblocks? “You do not…”

“Azan, I want to. Let me do this.”

He slowly starts to remove his hand, still watching me carefully.

“I can get my mask…”

“If that makes you feel better,” I say huskily, still touching his dick and grabbing his mask for him. He straps it on, and his shoulders relax.

Soon.

One day I’ll get him to feel comfortable enough that he doesn’t need to wear the damn thing with me, but for now, I want to pleasure him since he’s given me so much already, under the assumption I’ll never give him anything back. Sidyth women are bitches. They don’t know what they’re missing with this sweet, sexy, beautiful, intelligent alien.

I can make him happier than any Sidyth women could.

He’ll never want anyone but me, and even if he does get the chance to return home, he’ll sooner fucking die than leave me because no one will ever love him as much as I do.

“Can you lay on your back for me?” I say, almost using the purr I use for clientele, but quickly remember Azan isn’t a client. He’s mine. “It’ll help keep your fangs out of the way if that’s something you’re worried about.” It’s not completely untrue, but it seems to satisfy Azan as he slowly lies back against the floor, head closest to the mouth of the cave. “Stay still.” I go to mount him, surprised at how big he truly is beneath me.

His dick hits me in the ass as I stare down at him, and I’ve never seen such a heated gaze before. Immediately, I’m dripping wet again, and I hear the all too familiar sound of him lapping my scent from underneath his mask.

“You’re naughty, Azan. Tasting me when I’m supposed to be pleasuring you.”

“I cannot help it,” he gasps, as I slide farther back on his body, almost touching my opening to his erect dick.

I grip his rock-hard thighs, so I have something to keep my balance, and start to tease his dick with my pussy, never quite allowing it inside but dragging up and down the massive length. There’re scales across the entire thing, and though that’s different, it’s no less hot because I get to see the look of raw lust and ecstasy as I shower Azan with attention. He tightly grabs my hips, and I turn feral.

“No touching,” I purr. “Let me do the work this time.”

“Stars… moons,” he breaths, leaning back again, as I perch myself behind his dick and stare down at him. I lower my head and test to see how much of him I can take in my mouth, surprised at how big his crown is. Thank God for Academy Training. I lower my lips, trying to reach all the way down to his sack, but there’s too much of him to take all at once. Still, peeking an eye open, Azan’s fisting the blanket, sure as shit not looking too disappointed. I suck on him gently, enjoying the throaty gasps of my name and the stars and moons.

“York. You don’t… you don’t have to—”

“Oh, but I do.” I lap up more pre-cum off his glistening tip. He tastes like sage and cinnamon. “I have to do this because I want to make you know I’ve Chosen you.”

“You don’t have to.”

He’s barely able to keep his composure as I suck harder, trying to take him more and more deeply. I’m always up for a challenge, and if sucking a big dick is on the schedule today, well then sign me up. I suck harder, and Azan groans, and before I have a chance to respond, chilled seed shoots into my mouth, and I swallow, surprised by the taste. It’s sweet, not like human spunk, and for the first time, I don’t mind that a guy came into my mouth without warning. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the first time Azan got his cock sucked, and I’m honored to be the first.

And hopefully the last.

“Too soon,” Azan gasped. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” I snap, laying on his hard stomach. “Your seed is fucking delicious.”

“My seed?”

I can’t help laughing. He sounds so scandalized. “Yup. You taste like Christmas trees, oranges, and that sweet, pink bread.” I giggle. “I guess what you guys eat passes more into your spunk than human’s.”

“My spunk?”

I giggle again. I hope he doesn’t take it personally, but to tease him a bit more, I suck on my fingers like I’ve eaten fifty of the best chicken wings during a college bowl game. “You taste incredible.” To explain myself further, I dip my pinky against the tip of his cock and take another taste.

“Fuck… fuck me,” he chokes out, sounding so much like a human that I smile.

He’s seven feet tall. He’s terrifying. He’s dangerous. Poisonous. Exiled. Unloved by most.

He’s also vulnerable, sweet, and so damn innocent.

I’ve never met anyone like him and feeling pleased with myself, I roll off his firm stomach and stare up at him as he looks at his cock like he’s seen it for the first time.

“Do all humans feel comfortable doing that?” he gasps.

“What? Never had a blow job before?”

He shakes his head hard. “No. No woman has ever taken my cock between their lips. I had no idea such a thing was possible. I did not believe Korben.”

“You’ve got a lot to learn.”

“Will you teach me?” He pulls me closer to his chest. His dick’s already hard again.

I pretend to hum, deep in thought. “I don’t know. Teach a scary Sidyth about pleasure by sucking his dick? Sounds like a pretty difficult road ahead for me.”

“If you are not comfortable—”

“Azan, I’m totally kidding.” I’m giggling as I take his dick into my hand again. He gasps out, but there’s less innocence in his eyes this time. Now it’s more of a hunger. “Believe me, teaching you about pleasure is one of the best things I’ve ever heard in my life.” I lazily stroke the length of his cock to watch the look on his face and the desire in his eyes. “I’ll teach you more about blow jobs; that’s me taking your cock in my mouth again.” He stiffens, his dick thickening in my grasp. “I can teach you about going down on me when you’re more comfortable.”

“Going down on you?”

“Oh yeah.” My eyes flicker down to between my legs.

“My mouth? On your pussy?”

“I think we’ve already figured out how amazing you are with your fingers,” I tease.

“That will never happen.”

“We’ll see,” I say, starting to smile again, but Azan grabs my hand around his dick and squeezes it surprisingly hard.

“That will never happen,” he says again. “I will never risk hurting you. You are everything to me.”

I release my hand once he releases mine, not wanting to push him too far.

“Maybe we should go to sleep before this turns into an argument,” I say softly. “It’s been a busy night.”

“And a delightful one.” He follows my lead, lays back on his side, and opens his thick arm, exposing his chest to me.

I’m still worried Azan will never be able to completely open up to me, with the gnawing fear he’ll kill me. But I love the feel of his skin against mine, combined with the sound and scent of rain. He squeezes me more tightly.

“If I fall asleep before you, you can move to the other side,” he whispers. “I do not ever want to risk hurting you.”

I don’t answer.

I’m not going anywhere.

 

***

 

I’m hardly surprised by the next morning; Azan’s moved to the other side of the makeshift bed. I don’t mind as much as I thought I would. I’m happy about the progress we made last night, and it’s still raining so we’ll be alone for a little while longer. There’s a part of me that never wants to go back. I love when it’s only us. I love the confidence brewing inside of Azan, and I’m so afraid when he’s around his brothers that he’s going to lose everything we’ve built the past few hours. He may be big, but he’s also fragile. The wrong words tossed in his direction could damage him for days.

Or forever.

“We could stay here.” I pull on my skirt and top later that morning when Azan’s awake and tugging on his shorts, hiding his cock from sight. Shame. “We could stay a few more hours. Or days. Whatever.”

Azan shakes his head. “I must go back and make sure Prince Korben is okay.”

“He’s a full-grown man,” I pout. “I’m sure he’s going to be alright.”

There’s another shake of his head as he bunches up the blankets and tosses them into the corner. “No, I must go back. I owe Prince Korben everything. At night he is busy with his Chosen, but he is around others during the day. Nothing is safe.”

“Why wouldn’t it be safe?” I cock my hip out to the side. “You’re all together and—”

“No,” Azan hisses, surprising me. “We’re not all together, and it’s not safe.”

My eyes widen. Not all together? Does this mean there are more Sidyths…

“We need to get back,” Azan says in a louder voice. “Do you need me to carry you?”

I stumble away a few inches. “No. No, I don’t need you to carry me. I’m not helpless.”

“I know you’re not helpless, but I’d like to get back quickly.”

I don’t understand what the rush is, or rather, I do, and I don’t like it. Alaska and Kansas may be babies for Arizona but I had no idea Azan was so dedicated to Prince Korben. “Azan, you don’t need to run back to him. I’m sure he can handle himself.”

“I’m assuming you don’t understand what I’m talking about due to your line of work, but I have a responsibility and duty to make sure Prince Korben is safe at all times.” He thrusts his hand out towards mine, but I flinch away, no longer caring about hurting his feelings.

Because he’s hurt mine. My line of work.

This has kind of all struck me at once. He’s never mentioned Korben before.

Or has he?

I can’t remember.

“Go ahead. I’ll follow.” I’m annoyed and hurt beyond words. My line of work.

And Azan? He’s conveniently fallen silent. I wonder if he cares how much his words stung me. Since arriving on Hethdiss, for the first time in many years, I didn’t feel like a Human Whore. I felt like there was a chance for happiness with an alien. Something new. Something different. But the words Azan’s said to me. The way he doesn’t defend them or further explain, couldn’t be more familiar. And though I know he said them in haste, it doesn’t make them hurt any less because it’s not the words themselves that’s it.

It’s that the words were said by him.