Chapter 17
Avery
Usually Maddox wakes up first. I think he goes downstairs to the gym and works out. I hear the barbells clinking and the sound of him singing along with the tunes on his headphones. Sometimes he goes for a run on the beach. He comes back and gets a quick shower before he heads into the kitchen to start coffee. He thinks I sleep through all of this, but I’m aware of him. I’ve become increasingly aware of everything he does.
He’s ready to make a bold move that could rock his world and impact the fortunes of more than just us. His mom needs him to be steady right now. He’s not seeing that. And he’s not seeing the fact that I really don’t have the means to stand up to my mother. I talk a good game when I’m pissed off – when I’m dreaming – but I have no clue how to support myself. I’m twenty-five years old and I’ve never had a real job. I live in a swanky apartment in a nice neighborhood near school, and I have no idea what the rent is. I drive a Range Rover SUV.
Someone at school told me the thing cost $90,000. I asked if that was a lot.
Maddox thinks he loves me, but he loves the fantasy of a girl he knew a decade ago. He’s better off taking care of his future.
He’s sleeping now. Sleeping. Dreaming. The gray morning light is just starting to stream into our bedroom. I could watch him sleep forever. We have today. That’s it. I’m going home to do Mother’s fund raiser, and I’m going to get with the program in order to save Maddox’s job.
I make the coffee this morning, and I bring a cup to Maddox, waking him gently.
“Hey sleepyhead,” I say. “Got a cup for you.”
He rolls awake, surprised by the turn about. He’s got that early morning, sleepy voice going on. “What’s this?” He asks, bleary. It’s early, even for him.
“Coffee.” I say. “My turn.”
He takes a sip and props himself up in bed.
“You should be snoozing,” he says. “You’re never up this early.”
I nod. “I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been thinking—”
He scowls. “It’s too damn early in the morning for thinking.”
“Just the same, I think I need to go home and deal with Mother. Do what she wants.”
He shakes his head. “No babe… You hate that shit...”
“I do. But I also hate the idea of you blowing your whole world wide open for me. That can’t happen. I’m not that… reliable.”
I see his expression fall.
“You need to keep your job. We’ve known one another a long time, and you know me. I always do what my mother wants. She installed the buttons and she knows how to push them. I need to be at that fundraiser tomorrow. We have today, let’s chill out. I’ll call mother and have her send the plane for me tonight.”
“You don’t have to...”
“I do,” I say.
Maddox expression descends into a bleakness I’ve not seen before. I want him to know I’m doing this for him. He should be happy, but he looks defeated. Nothing I do is right.
“This way you get to keep your job, and we stay friends, and mother gets what she wants.”
“Friends?” Maddox says, his tone wracked. “Friends?”
“Friends,” I say, trying to keep my tone firm. “We’ve been friends a long time. Since we were kids. It’s time I started acing like an adult and worrying about more than just me. I can’t drag you into this fucked-up life I was born into. There’s too much baggage with it. You have your own stuff to handle. I know that now. I’m doing this because it’s the right thing to do.”
“Baby, I don’t want you to—”
“It’s what I need to do,” I say. “Don’t fight me on this. I know what I need to do.”
“Avery. Will you just listen to me for one second?” He’s only halfway awake and only partially focused. “I know this has all happened fast, but honestly, I wouldn’t change anything. Yeah – I hauled you down here – but look at what we have… You’re everything that matters to me. You’re…”
“Maddox. Stop.” I interrupt. “We’re friends. We have been a long time, and I’m not going to put your future on the line because of some infatuation – a ‘fixation’ – you’ve been harboring since high school. Even I can see that’s a selfish thing to do.”
“Friends,” he says again. “Okay. We’re ‘friends’. Call your mother. Do it that way. But don’t you think for a second this is what I want. I’m not afraid of Evelyn Thomas. You make me see the possibilities – not the limitations...”
“Maddox, please stop. Think of your job. The house you want, the life you want. Think about your mother. She loves you, and she deserves a decent place to live. And a chance to live longer. Don’t think for a second my parents won’t target her when push comes to shove,” I say, fighting the threat of tears. I want to fall into his arms and tell him everything I feel for him, but I know the outcome of that would be that my mother would ruin any prospect he had going forward. She would destroy him just for spite. “We’re good friends. That’s all. And that’s all it’s ever going to be.”
* * *
I didn’t get to make breakfast for Maddox. He went out for a run and was gone a long time. When he came home he went straight to the shower and then his computer. In the interim, I call my mother from his phone and arrange for my trip home.
“I’ll get your Rover and drive it back,” Maddox says, not looking at me.
My parents show up at the house in the mid-afternoon. Mother is triumphant.
“I’m pleased you’ve seen reason,” she says to me while glaring at Maddox. “At least one of you has intelligence enough to see the real world.
“By the looks of this little bungalow, you two have had quite the getaway. If I didn’t know better, Maddox, I’d think you staged the whole stalker incident to get my daughter alone down here with you so you could...” My mother raises both eyebrows when she says this.
At this implication I see Maddox instantly bow up and move toward her with intent. I step in front of him.
“Calm down,” I say, laying my palm on his chest. “She’s just trying to get a rise out of you. She’s good at that.”
“I want an end to this.” Evelyn Thomas says. “I like the fact that you want to keep Avery safe. But I don’t like that fact that the two of you are… together.” Her expression as she says that last word is fat with revulsion. “I’d like to propose a solution,” she says. “Maddox, I know your mother is doing better since we got her into that trial.”
“And my brother and I are grateful for that,” Maddox says through gritted teeth.
“Yes. Given that he’s out on an oil rig, you’re the one who cares for your mother. That’s correct, isn’t it?”
I watch Maddox’s face. A lesser man might give away exactly how pissed he is, but I see it, just barely, in Maddox’s eyes. “Yes. I am. But you and General Thomas already knew that. What’s your point, Evelyn?”
Maddox is barely keeping his cool.
“‘My point is that we’d love to pay for Nadine’s housing and medical care for the rest of her years. It’s a drop in the bucket for us, but it will make a big difference for her.”
He pauses.
“Maddox —” I take his arm. I hate that my mother is doing this, but the very prospect of it lightens my heart somehow. What if everything could be taken care of for her? Lifted away from Maddox? “Listen to her.”
He ignores me. “With all due respect Ma’am, my mother’s health is none of your goddamn business. And whatever Avery and I have – that’s not your business either. She’s twenty-five years old. You don’t own her and you can’t buy me.”
Once more I put my hand on his chest and press him back.
“Take the money.” I urge him quietly. “Agree to it. Come on.” He meets my eyes, his expression surprised — and then resigned. The reality of his mother having a permanent place to live sinks in as he looks at me.
He looks back at my mother, who just continues to talk like she owns the world. Like she always does.
“And while you remain on the job, I expect you’ll keep her from falling into bed with anyone else. She’s got no self-respect. You need to be her guardian in these things. I can’t have her indiscretions creeping up during the campaign.”
“Of course not,” Maddox says, his eyes locked on mine. “I’ll keep an eye on her and kill anyone who crosses the line.”
“Killing is going too far.” My mother says tersely. “Scaring the daylights out of them is fine.”
My mother surveys the room and looks to me. “Pack a bag, Avery. It’s time to go home. The jet is waiting.”
She looks to Maddox. “We’ll see you when you get back. You’ll need to escort Avery to the event tomorrow evening so make sure you’re both on time. I’m glad we were able to come to an agreement.” She pauses. “Money always works, doesn’t it?”
My heart sinks, and my mother walks out of the room, head held high.
“Is this really what you want?” He asks me.
“It’s what has to happen,” I reply.
But the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I walk away from Maddox gives me pause. I look back at him. He’s watching me, and I see something there I haven’t seen — or felt — in years.
He feels like home.
But still, I turn away.
Things like this can’t last — and Maddox needs money more than he needs someone like me.