Chapter 19
Avery
“Darling, did you know that the digital memory cards on those expensive cameras professional photographers use cost thirty-thousand dollars?”
Evelyn and I are in a limo, headed back to her office after having spent the most tedious three hours of my life in the company of seventy-odd members of the Sausalito Women’s Club. Mother gave a speech on the topic of local government, promoting the idea of allowing the locals to determine the shape and character of their community, rather than having to cater to big-government mandates like providing public schools, public transportation, or equal access to housing. They ate her up like crème brulée, and came back for seconds. They couldn’t write checks fast enough.
“I thought memory cards were pretty cheap,” I say, knowing exactly where she’s going with this.
“In fact, they’re not,” she says. “I know this because my attorney informed me this morning we paid that amount of money to some online publication called TMZ in compensation for the destruction of a memory card – the destruction allegedly done by one Maddox Bryant.”
I say nothing.
“He’s a very expensive lap dog.” Evelyn observes. “And I suspect he’s prone to nip on occasion. See if you can keep him on a leash. And, as I’m thinking of it, let me remind you again that we are living under a microscope. It’s wonderful that outlets like these TMZ people are so willing to settle and keep their mouths shut. CNN would not be nearly as easy to manage. The scrutiny is only going to become more intense. You – and your lap dog – need to mind yourselves. The press is trying to find anything – anything at all – to pin to us. We need to be beyond reproach.”
I’m silent as she prattles on.
“You know, maybe we just need to let him go. I believe the two of you have been far too involved with each other. That is a breach of his contract, but your father says he trusts Maddox since we’re able to do so much for Nadine. Now, I love Nadine, but — she doesn’t have so long to live anyway.”
“We’re not involved,” I say. “Not at all.”
“That’s good to hear, Avery. He’s just not good enough for you.”
I listen to her keep on, because I have to. Because there’s nowhere else to go.
* * *
Maddox meets me at home after I get back from Sausalito. He’s been a little distracted over the last several days – something is weighing on him – but I haven’t had much time to pry hard into what’s going on, and right now is not the time. It’s the first evening I’ve had free in weeks. My best friend Ella and I are getting together for dinner and drinks. Its the first non-Stepford Daughter thing I’ve done socially in what feels like forever.
Maddox is driving us to the restaurant, but he’s being the ‘good bodyguard’ since the night of that last-minute fundraiser. In public he plays the part of the disinterested employee just doing his job. When we get home it’s another story. So far no one is the wiser, but tonight I need to confess to somebody, and Ella is (aside from Maddox) my oldest and dearest friend. Plus she’s female, and I need a woman’s perspective on all of this.
“I absolutely detest your hair,” Ella says as soon as we sit down. “I saw you on TV the other day and I screamed. You probably heard me.”
I touch the chemically straightened, blow dried style, and I cringe. “I know.” I reply, screwing up my face. “Not my idea.”
Ella shakes her head at me. “Girlfriend, what the hell are you doing? I know your politics. I know you! And you’re on the road, selling that snake oil? Please.”
“I have no choice,” I say, lamely attempting to defend myself. “But I don’t want to talk about my mother. I have other… issues.”
Ella’s eyes narrow. “Dish.”
A second later a deliciously handsome waiter with piercing green eyes arrives at our table and tells us about the specials. I can’t help but grin as he turns, wagging a very nice ass, departing after he’s taken our order.
“Gay.” Ella states. “He’s wearing colored contacts. I know about these things. Now dish.”
I take a deep breath and then I tell her almost everything, beginning with the threatening text and photos, and the ‘safe house’ get away to San Diego, the private beach, and ending with Maddox and I having a secret, incredibly hot, relationship right under my mother’s nose, while she’s paying him to keep me from fucking around.
Ella listens to all of it, taking in every detail. When I finally stop talking she gives me that enigmatic smile she reserves for dumb frat boys who try to catcall her. Then she glances over to the bar where Maddox is sitting by himself with a steaming plate of high-protein something and a glass of iced tea.
“How long have you known this dude?” She asks me.
I shrug. “Since high school. Before that, I guess. We hung out as little kids, and then I really got to know him that last year of high school after he had to drop out of community college.”
“Yeah.” Ella replies. She glances at Maddox again, then back. “Girl, I may only be an art major, but I was not born yesterday. I’ve known you since you started hanging out with him, and I’ve never seen you with a guy like that one. And I’ve never seen that look in your eye.”
“We’re just fucking around,” I say, lying. I feel the color coming to my cheeks. “It was a high school crush. We’re just…. feeling it out.”
“My ass,” Ella says, rolling her eyes. “Why don’t ya’ll just tell Evelyn to go get fucked? It’s obvious you care about him. Take a damn risk Avery.”
Oh no. Not Ella too?
“I can’t,” I mumble. I try to think. “Maddox’s mom is sick. He needs this job. If Evelyn finds out we’ve kept on with this, they’ll fire him. He won’t get his money. I can’t let that….”
“Oh good Lord, Avery Thomas. Your family doesn’t rule the whole world – not yet anyway. Tall Dark and Dangerous over there looks like he can take care of himself just fine. If he’s sticking around through all this BS your mother’s thrown his way, then he’s every bit as into you as you are into him. You’re just like your damn mother. You want to control everything and everyone. But sweetheart, you can’t control who you fall in love with. That shit just happens – or not.”
“She won’t let us be together. Not for real. She hates him,” I say. “Evelyn will never stop. Now it’s the Senate. But she may run for President. No matter what, I’ll always be the daughter who has to step up...”
“No,” Ella says. “One day you’ll be the daughter who say’s ‘Screw that. I deserve a life too.’ You need to do that sooner rather than later.”
“And if I do that, they destroy him, and any future opportunities he might have. They can have people blacklisted. You know how that works.”
“I know how it works,” Ella says. “And I know that good people always find a way ahead. If your boy Maddox is good people, he’ll find his way. He’ll do it a whole lot easier if you’re with him.”
I hear what she’s saying, and on some level I believe what she’s telling me is the truth. Ella loves me and she always tells me the truth. I owe her the same.
“Look. I’ve been putting my thumb in Evelyn’s eye since I was thirteen years old, but this is different. I never cared what she might do to me, or to any guy I showed up with. But Maddox is different. I’d rather cut out my own heart than hurt him anymore. My family has screwed with him since he was nineteen years old. I can’t let them screw up his life anymore.”
Our meals arrive, and they look delicious, but suddenly I feel a little nauseous. All this honesty must be a serious shock to my system.
“They can try to screw up his life,” Ella says, digging into her pork primavera, “Or you can just fuck it up completely by breaking his heart – and yours – at the same time.”
* * *
“I like Ella.” Maddox offers as we drive toward home. “I never knew her much back then, but I like her.”
“She likes you too,” I say. “And she’s never had much use for any guy I’ve liked, so that’s saying something.”
“Did you… Did you tell her about us?” He asks, halfway turning to me while keeping one eye on the road.
I nod. “I told her everything. And then some.”
Maddox gets that look, like I’ve done something wrong. He says, “Avery. We’re walking a tightrope here. No one can know.”
“I trust her with my life.”
He just shakes his head. “Okay,” he says. “It’s your ball game. Your parents. Your mother. I’m willing to take on whatever comes. We’re playing it this way because you want to. So... okay.”
I wonder if he really would be willing to ditch his six figure job and just leave with me.
“Ah, look at this. The stalkerazzi are back,” Maddox says, driving slowly past the main entrance of my apartment building. There are three guys with cameras on the sidewalk, obviously awaiting some grand entrance. “I’ll park in the public lot in the next block. We’re gonna have to go through them. I’m sorry.”
Once the Rover is parked, we head toward the building along the sidewalk. Fifty feet from the front door, the photographers clue in to the fact that I’m heading right toward them. Maddox is beside me, his arm around me, but as they crowd in, I feel exposed.
“Is your mother setting herself up for a presidential run in four years?” one asks.
“Is your mother really supporting the abolition of community-funded schools, Miss Thomas?” Another one calls out.
“Do you think North Korea will actually follow through on its threat to target Southern California with a nuclear weapon in the next four years?” A third shouts at me as Maddox hustles me up the steps.
He shoves them all back. “Guys. Give miss Thomas some space. She doesn’t speak for her mother. Let her through.”
“Hey Maddox. Is it true you and Miss Thomas are a couple? You’ve been seen leaving her place pretty late recently.” The first reporter asks. “How does her mother feel about that? I heard you two don’t get on so well.”
I am almost too terrified to look up, but when I do, I see Maddox rolling his eyes at the man.
“You guys really need to find some real news.” He said. “That’s pathetic.”
He rushes me up the stairs and inside the lobby of my apartment building without any more drama.
“Sorry about that,” he says, punching the button for the elevator. “Guess I need to be more discreet.”
When the elevator arrives, we step inside. As soon as the doors close, I step up on my tip toes and kiss Maddox on the cheek. He looks surprised, and then even more so when I say, “Thank you for taking such good care of me.”
Technically, we’re still in public, so he doesn’t reciprocate. He just meets my eyes and says, “Always, Miss Thomas. Always.”
* * *
The way Maddox touches me when we’re alone, makes my body feel like it was designed to respond to him – and him alone. Earlier this evening with Ella, I was feeling a bit ill, but as soon as Maddox pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me, I feel electricity surge through me, waking me up, pushing all the negativity away. His mouth on mine, kissing me, tastes likes like iced tea and cherries, and little bit of salty sweat. I drink him in, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He pulls away, a boyish smile on his face, looking down into my eyes. He looks like he wants to say something, but he remains quiet.
“What?” I ask, threading my fingers through his short chestnut hair.
He shakes his head. “Nothing.” Then he dips down and lifts me up into his arms like I’m weightless, and hauls me into the bedroom.
He takes his time teasing me, as he undresses me, layer by layer. His kisses and bites are strategically placed and timed to elicit just enough pain and pleasure to build my anticipation. His tongue has a way of finding my most sensitive spots – like behind my knees and that odd dimple at the base of my spine. He licks and nips the tender flesh of my inner thighs, making my clit swell and my pussy ache for him.
“You’re dripping wet.” He observes. “Let me take care of that.” And then he moves in between my legs, slurping gently, caressing my clit between his tongue and lips, circling and sucking just so. I feel his fingers enter me, but that’s not enough. I want more.
“Oh, Maddox. Please… inside me… I want you.” I beg him, almost whining.
“Come for me this way first.” He demands, thrusting his fingers into me.
His whiskers scrape my inner thighs deliciously, and his teeth scrape my clit while he continues to suck and lap. I take his head between my hands and pull him in closer, pressing his face into my snatch while I rock with the rhythm of his finger thrusts.
It doesn’t take much of this before I feel the heat start to build, drawing down deep in my belly like a coiling electric current looking for an outlet. He shoves his fingers inside me and then slowly, almost cruelly draws them out, repeating the motion over and over again while his tongue plays my clit. The first rippling shudder of my rising orgasm grips his fingers tight. My hands grip his head tighter. I buck into his face, rocking with every wave of pleasure that rolls out of my pussy, rocketing through my body, making me cry out, completely dumbstruck by the sensation.
When it subsides I start giggling, just like I always do. I can’t help it. It just happens, like the hiccups. My head rolls back and my glazed eyes can’t focus. I laugh.
“Good girl,” Maddox says, rising, wiping the glistening moisture away from his face, licking his lips and fingers. He wraps his hands around my ankles and pulls me down the bed. His fingers trace the contours of my nakedness, while I reach down to his waist and undo his slacks, pushing them down, off his hips.
“Inside me.” I insist, running my fingers over the tight bulge trapped behind the cloth of his jeans.
Maddox takes a breath and sits up on his heels just long enough to strip, kicking his slacks and underwear to the side. He grips himself in his right hand, stroking firmly. I’m tempted to help him with that, but before I can suggest it, he shoves my knees far apart and plunges himself into me without hesitating.
I cry out. He fills me up swiftly, his cock so hard and so big inside me, it almost hurts.
“You okay?” Maddox asks breathless, his eyes on mine, rocking into me. His expression is a cross of absolutely bliss and pausing concern.
I love the way he hangs over me so we can see one another, the way his shoulders and arms flex and expand with the effort of it. I love the way he punches into me hard, then pulls out slow, forcing me to feel every inch of him as he withdraws.
I nod, ‘yes’. I can’t speak. His dick inside me and our belly’s locked together down to the hip has me distracted to blissful oblivion. All I ever wanted in my whole life was to feel this with someone who felt the same. All I ever wanted was to love and be loved, completely.
“You’re fucking perfect.” Maddox half-groans, punching in deeper, slowing a little. “You feel so good.”
I feel his breath catch and his cock twitch. His jaw clenches hard. I know he’s close. I can see it in his eye, and that just fucking turns me on. I grab his ass and push him into me, wrapping my legs around his ass. That’s all it takes to draw my next wave of shudders forth. I’m grinding into him, my pussy gripping his cock and releasing in spasms.
Maddox stiffens above me, every muscle in his body hardens and then he cries out. He hammers hard as we climax simultaneously, our bodies clashing together in perfect time, then slowly, almost regretfully, coasting to a rest.
When we finally separate, Maddox rolls on his back and pulls me up to his chest, cradling me in the safest embrace I’ve ever known. He kisses the top of my head and smooths my hair lovingly, then he says the one thing I can’t bear to hear,
“If you’d let me, I’d take care of you forever.”
This declaration sends my brain swimming. We could have a future together. We could be happy. Except my parents would do everything in their power to destroy it. And could I ever make him happy? Everything I know about relationships has shown me that heat and passion like Maddox and I have never lasts. It burns up, and if there’s nothing more substantial underpinning it, then it just drifts away like so much smoke after the flame has extinguished.
I try to push these thoughts out of my head. It’s too much. The confusion makes me feel queasy. Part of me just wants to run away from all of this; escape the suffocating demands of my parents, escape from my crushing sense of responsibility toward Maddox. Just run and never look back.
That’s the last thought that crosses my mind before I close my eyes. When I open them again, Maddox is gone, the morning sun is streaming into my room; I’m all alone and the silence of my apartment is deafening.
I need to get used to it. I need to get used to the idea of being on my own, being an adult, responsible for myself and to myself, alone.
Ella’s cousin is in Vancouver. She’s like an older, wiser version of Ella; a real sage. We stayed with her for two weeks last year when I had to escape Evelyn for a break, and she was just wonderful. She said if I ever wanted to get away from it all, I was welcome back anytime. I can go there and crash long enough to get my head straight and put a plan together.
It’s an idea. Not a great one, but it’s something to think on.