Chapter 14

You’re going to basic bitch hell.

-Cobie to Dante when he proclaims he doesn’t like pumpkin spice

Dante

Three days later

I was going to let her do this without me, mostly because she’d specifically requested that I stay away. But the fear that was in her eyes as she made her way up the steps of the hospital had me parking the truck and following her inside.

I honestly didn’t think she’d intended for me to see that change in her demeanor. But the moment she’d thought I was out of sight, I’d seen that fear take over her entire being. She was deathly afraid of what she was going to hear when she went into that office.

She hadn’t wanted me to see the fear. In fact, she’d almost been a robot this past week.

It was as if she was trying really, really hard not to appear needy.

And I respected that, but it was also quite frustrating.

All I wanted to do was make sure that she was okay. Offer her a friendship.

Sure, at first, it’d been about the promise that Marianne had requested of me.

But then I’d gotten to know her.

This past week she’d definitely grown on me.

We’d both been hesitant when I’d come home that first night after seeing her newly acquired scars.

She didn’t know what to say to me, and I didn’t know what to say to her to make it all better.

I wasn’t sure that it could get better.

Hell, I knew that my situation would never be better.

But her situation, well, it could get better. She would overcome this. She would be stronger and better able to function at the end of this without the threat of impending doom hanging over her head.

Shaking off my morose thoughts, I parked the truck in a lot intended for doctors, not giving that first fuck if I took some doctor’s parking spot because there wasn’t another towing company around to tow me, and mine wouldn’t tow their own company’s vehicle. However, I’m sure that the hospital wouldn’t be amused that a towing company refused to come get it. And before they could call anybody else—which would have to be an eighteen-wheeler wrecker, seeing as my truck was so big and heavy—we’d be done in the hospital.

Grinning for the first time that day at the thought of pissing somebody off, I made my way inside.

I had to ask the receptionist which floor oncology—the cancer doc—was on. Once she directed me, I studiously avoided the place that I remembered going with Lily to. Doctor’s appointments and well-checks for our children.

I didn’t use the same pediatrician for Mary that we did for the other two kids.

Another doctor had recommended that I take her to see a doctor in Longview, a full hour away from where my other kiddos’ doctor was located, because he specialized in cases like Mary’s.

Not that Mary was a hard case. There were hundreds of thousands of people in this world with that extra chromosome that caused Down Syndrome. They had jobs. They lived normal lives. They got married.

Thinking of all the things that the doctor had shared with me when I’d first taken Mary to him, I made my way to where the aide had pointed me, arriving at the oncology doc’s door within two minutes.

I spotted Cobie across the room, head down, staring at her knees.

Not stopping to question why the hell I was there in the first place, I strolled across the room and then dropped down into the seat beside her.

She looked up, startled by a person sitting down next to her in a room full of empty chairs, and closed her eyes. The relief on her face was enough to make me decide to stay whether she asked me to leave her alone or not.

“Dante…”

I winked and leaned over to pull out my phone. “Figured it’s just as easy to sit in here as it is to sit out in the parking lot. At least this way I’m not wasting diesel.”

Cobie smirked and looked back down at her knees, then pulled out her own phone.

So that was how the next five minutes went as we waited for the doctor to call her back. Most of the time was spent showing each other funny memes. Mine came from my brothers. Cobie’s came from the Facebook.

I had never had, nor would I ever have, a Facebook account. I wasn’t all that interested in the world knowing so much about me. If someone wanted to chat or say hi, they damn well knew my phone number. And if they didn’t know, then they could come find me.

It wasn’t like I’d left town.

My house, yes. Town, no.

The cabin was nestled deep in the woods of Hostel, Texas located along the same river that had stolen everything from me.

“Look at this one.”

I grinned when I read it. Just a random question that an author who Cobie followed had asked.

Do identical twins have the same size penises?

“I’ll bet that identical twins aren’t identical everywhere. I used to know a few when I was in the military. Two of them were in the same unit as me. One was tall and slender while the other was just as tall but a bit stockier. Oh, and that Brock guy who works for Travis and me? The one who stopped by last night to bring me some paperwork? That guy’s a twin, too. You should ask him.”

She immediately shook her head, a smile creeping up over her face.

Brock was a good man, as far as I could tell. He was always on time. He always showed up for work, and in the brief time since I’d returned to work at Hail Auto Recovery, he’d been a stellar employee. My brother had done well hiring him.

However, when he’d arrived last night, his eyes had gone directly to Cobie who was situated on the couch, her eyes on the TV. She’d been snuggling with my daughter, both of them engrossed in a show that had been on ABC Family.

Brock took one look at her, and his whole demeanor had changed.

He’d gone from looking lazy to alert, and it hadn’t taken a genius to see that he’d found her attractive.

I didn’t like the way he looked at her last night, and twelve hours later, I still didn’t like it.

But, as with all things that were starting to make me feel again, I buried those thoughts deep and locked them behind a door that I wouldn’t be opening. Not ever.

So, in order to ignore the way that I was still mad about Brock staring at her, even as innocently as he had, I went back to reading on my phone.

I’d been doing that a lot over the last two years. I read before Lily had died, but now with those long sleepless nights, I had to do something to fill the time. Physical exercise only lasted so long—and my body wasn’t that of a twenty-something-year-old man anymore. I was forty-one. I couldn’t do the all-day workout thing anymore, or I’d be physically unable to walk.

Hence the reading.

“Whatcha readin’?”

I looked over to find her staring at me expectantly. “Jim Butcher.”

“Jim Butcher is the title of the book or the author?”

“Author,” I answered distractedly.

“What does this author write about?”

I grinned and looked over at her. “Paranormal and science fiction.”

Her eyes widened. “I like that.”

I rolled my eyes. “You can sign into my Kindle account and read them. I started this series for a second time, but I have all of them.”

Greedily she signed out of her account and into mine, and soon I got her started on the first book in Jim Butcher’s Codex of Alera series.

She was an entire two chapters in before she was called back, and without her asking, I got up and followed her in.

The doctor was waiting on us when we arrived at the exam room, and he smiled warmly at Cobie.

“Cobie, come in, come in.”

“Hi, Dr. Todd.” She shuffled slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements that would cause her pain. “This is Dante. He’s my shadow.”

Dr. Todd grinned. “I’m happy to hear that you have a shadow, Cobie. Hello, Dante. I’m Holman Todd.”

I shook the man’s hand, and he gestured for me to follow Cobie into the exam room, who was already taking a seat on the bench.

“How is everything feeling?”

“You mean, does it feel like I had my boobs chopped off?”

I winced.

Dr. Todd snorted. “Well, I assumed it would feel like that seeing as you did, in fact, have them removed.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that, and Cobie couldn’t, either.

But her smile fell, and she stared at the doctor intently. “Let’s talk about what you found.”

Dr. Todd didn’t dally. He pulled out the file that was on the corner of the counter, placed it into his lap, then reached for his reading glasses that were in his front coat pocket.

Placing them on his nose, he stared at Cobie over the rims. “We were able to get all of the cancer.”

Both Cobie and I both breathed out roughly.

“How do you know?” I found myself asking.

He glanced over at me.

“Our hope when we went in there was to determine how much of the tissue was affected by the tumor,” the doctor began. “It’s always a worry that when we begin the surgery that the affected area could have spread to the chest wall, or the muscles surrounding the breast. However, in Cobie’s case, the cancer was limited to the breast tissue itself. We were able to remove all of the affected area, as well as the surrounding tissue completely. The cancer also didn’t spread to the lymph nodes, either.”

I knew that was good. Cancer spreading to the lymph nodes meant spreading to the rest of the body. And spreading to the rest of the body was also what would kill her.

“But when she spoke about having it, she said that she’d be dead at the end of the year if it wasn’t treated,” I found myself continuing. “Does she have to have any further treatments aside from what she’s already done?”

“Follow-up,” he answered. “We’re going to be doing regular tests on her to make sure that the cancer is no longer there. That’s a simple blood test. At that time, we’ll determine if a final round of chemo will be needed—which they usually do anyway, just to be safe. She’ll get those blood tests quite frequently until I’m well satisfied that she has nothing else to worry about.”

I clenched my jaw, then released it.

Cobie cleared her throat delicately.

“What now?”

Dr. Todd smiled. “Now you live your life.”

Thirty minutes later, after removing the drains, we were walking slowly out the door.

I’d offered to get Cobie a wheelchair, but she was bound and determined to walk out of the hospital.

I let her, but the entire time I stayed with her, step for step, stopping when she stopped.

What would’ve taken me two minutes or less to do, it took her ten. But she made it out of the hospital on her own two legs, and then I convinced her to allow me to bring the truck around—thank God.

Watching her struggle was enough to make my heart hurt.

Cobie was a strong, independent person. Something that I’d learned very well over the last week that she’d been with me at my house. She hated having things done for her and would much rather do them herself.

I knew for a fact that she would rather be at her own house, suffering in silence.

But for some reason, I couldn’t let her go.

Each day that she’d come up with an argument, I’d have a better reason for her not to go.

We’d done this quite a few times, the back and forth thing. I knew what was coming when she got to the car, but I thwarted her words by asking a question of my own, first.

“You want to try to get something to eat?”

Her eyes went up to me. “Sure, but didn’t you say that you had to go get Mary from your mom?”

I nodded. “I figured we’d go get her first, then head to somewhere small and light. It being already two, I’m not going to want to eat all that much or I won’t be hungry for dinner. Regardless of whether I am or not, Mary always is. So, since she has to eat, I like to cook her something, even if it is just frozen chicken and rice or something similar to that.”

Her smile was soft. “I think I’d like to try to eat.”

***

An hour later, we were in the middle of the restaurant named ‘Sweet Tea.’ Sweet Tea was a restaurant that catered to folks who liked good, old-fashioned, home-cooked meals. They also had some of the most amazing sweet tea I’d ever tried.

And that was saying something because I’d commit murder for some sweet tea from McAlister’s or Chick-Fil-A. Sweet Tea, though? Yeah, they got the top spot, and I guess they should with a name like they had.

“Have you ever been here before?”

I nodded. “I like to come here when I have to take Mary to her doctor appointments,” I answered. “Plus, with it being smaller, not as many people will come here. Then again, I’m convinced that’s only because not that many people know it’s back here. It’s hidden in this little nook.” I indicated to the shopping center that Sweet Tea was located behind.

The shopping center was popular, but the street behind it was rarely used because there was nothing beyond it. Nothing but the most hidden gem in the entirety of Longview, Texas.

“Do you want a booth or a table?” The hostess smiled at us, her face bouncing between me and Mary, to where Cobie was standing only a few inches away.

She was standing so close because the trip to the hospital wore her out, and she was trying not to fall to the floor. At one point on the way across the parking lot, I put my arm around her and held her to me. She’d gratefully taken the support, but she had straightened back up once we’d arrived inside.

I also refused to be saddened that I no longer felt her body weight in the curve of my arm or acknowledge the fact that I missed it.

I looked around the room and pointed to the booth in the back. “Can we have that one?”

It was in the corner, with windows on all sides, meaning Mary likely wouldn’t get bored.

But ever since I’d picked her up from my mom’s she’d done nothing but sleep. By the looks of her, tired and blinking sleepily, she’d likely not be able to make it through dinner.

I frowned.

Had she not slept while at my mom’s?

Thinking about Mary and not about who was in the diner, I’d almost made it all the way to the table before I looked up and realized that the person we were sitting next to was none other than the man who we were all supposed to be avoiding—Drake.

Cobie hadn’t noticed him yet, but oh, Drake had noticed us. And what I saw on his face was not a look of excitement.

If looks could kill, I’d be dust.

“Sorry, but would you mind putting us in that one over there?” I asked. “The sun is hurting my eyes over here.”

My murmured words to the hostess had her turning and smiling.

Even at forty-one years old, I still had it.

Not that I wanted it.

But at times, it was useful.

Like now.

Drake glared at me as I passed, and I tilted my head down once in acknowledgment.

He didn’t return the gesture…not that I’d expected him to.

Shit.

I thought about leaving, and honestly, I was ready to say to Cobie that we should go, when she exhaustedly collapsed into the seat and looked at me like she was ready to break.

“When we get back, I’m taking a four-hour nap.”

I tightened my lips and sat down next to her, not wanting Drake at my back.

She looked at me curiously but otherwise didn’t say anything about me sitting on the same side of the booth as her.

With the new position, Mary curled her head into my neck but reached out to offer her hand to Cobie, who took that hand and brought it up to her lips.

“Such a sweet girl,” Cobie cooed.

Mary held onto her hand and didn’t let go, as she breathed into my neck and went limp. Back out like a light.

My eyes, however, were glued on the man turned almost around backward in his booth, staring daggers at us.

I averted my eyes in order not to incite him into coming over, and said, “Drake’s here.”

Cobie started to look around, but I growled at her. “Don’t.”

She froze, her eyes on me, and said, “I thought you said he was in Hostel?”

I shrugged. “He was.”

At least, that’s the last time I’d known his actual whereabouts. I hadn’t thought to keep up with him this week once I’d known that he was in town visiting family—oh, and that his truck was in our shop getting fixed.

I’d asked to be told once it was fixed, and I hadn’t heard anything to the contrary.

Except, apparently, he was gone and in Longview again—eating at the same freakin’ place that I’d decided to take Cobie and Mary to for lunch. Just freakin’ perfect.

Two people that I knew would stick under his craw.

Sweet.

“Oh, shit,” Cobie muttered. “What now?”

I didn’t know.

“I guess we eat and try to act like we don’t notice that he’s angry,” I suggested. “If we were to get up and leave, I think it’d be a little more suspicious.”

“It’ll probably be suspicious if I don’t say anything to him. I do know him, after all.”

“Just act like you didn’t see him, and it’ll be okay,” I muttered.

Mary twitched in her sleep, and I repositioned her until she was laying on my other side, making it easier for her to sleep, as well as Cobie to continue holding her hand.

So, there we sat, speaking about nothing but random facts and then later memes when Mary woke up.

We’d just given our order, had gotten a refill on our sweet tea and were discussing whether it would be a good idea for Cobie to go home when the crying started.

One second, Mary was asleep, and the next, she was screaming her head off.

Not nice crying, either. It was pained crying, almost as if something had hurt her.

I frowned and pushed her hair off her head. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Mary shook her head, tears streaming down her face.

“Is she hot?” Cobie asked, reaching forward to place her hand on Mary’s forehead.

I felt, too, but didn’t notice that she was fevered.

“No,” I hesitated. “Not really.”

At this point, a minute after she’d started, I started to really worry.

Mary didn’t usually cry. In fact, it was rare for her to even be unhappy. She was literally the most even-tempered baby that I’d ever met, which was what concerned me.

Mary only ever cried when she was sick, and she’d had an ear infection twice since Marianne had dropped her into my lap.

Since then, I’d learned to read the signs. Only without a fever, and without her pulling at her ear, I wasn’t sure that was it this time.

“Is she teething?” Cobie asked, running her finger along Mary’s jaw.

“Keep that fucked up kid under control, or get it the fuck out of here. Nobody wants to listen to that nonsense.”

Everything inside of me stilled.

My annoyance at Drake, who wouldn’t stop looking at Mary like she was a nuisance, vanished. My desire to get up and leave because Mary was throwing an unholy fit—which toddlers did do every now and then, stilled. And my worry for Cobie as she started to look uncomfortable the longer she sat in the hard booth waiting for our food, dissipated.

I stood up, slowly, and hitched Mary up higher against my chest.

“Sir,” the young waitress looked at me like she would rather be anywhere else. “We’re going to have to ask you to leave. A number of our patrons have expressed difficulty eating their meals because of her screams.”

I didn’t bother to tell her that I was already planning on leaving.

Instead, I looked over at Cobie.

“Come on,” I growled.

Cobie stood, her face showing her discomfort, but she didn’t slow in her movements—though they weren’t any faster than her norm as of late.

“I’ll bag your food up.”

The waitress shouldn’t have bothered, but before I could tell her that, Cobie patted my arm. “I’ll wait in here for it and bring it out with me, okay?”

My jaw clenched, and I nodded my head at the same time that Mary screeched rather loudly into my ear.

I looked over at my girl, saw the tears and unhappiness streaming down her face, and decided that before I said anything I’d regret later, I’d better go.

“Okay,” I grunted, then walked to the door.

“Thank fuckin’ God,” I heard a male voice say. Drake again. “Fuckin’ fucked up kid shouldn’t be here if she’s going to act like that.”

Fucking fucked up kid.

Fucking. Fucked up. Kid.

And that’s when I lost it.

But, since Mary was still in my arms, now pulling at her ear rather roughly, I kept my feet moving forward even though I wanted to turn around and slam that guy’s stupid face into the fucking table he was pounding on.

The old Dante would’ve let it go. The old Dante who’d been all about not making a scene? Yeah, he was gone. He was buried with my children and wife.

The new Dante?

Well, he didn’t give one single fuck about making a scene.

Placing Mary in the car seat and strapping her in, I closed the door very softly, then marched right back inside.

I met Cobie on the way out and handed her the keys. “Start it up, will you?”

Cobie looked at me, looked at the truck, then back at me again.

Then she nodded and walked to the truck, stiffly.

I hesitated, seeing that she was very uncomfortable now, and closed my eyes.

After taking a deep, calming breath, I turned back around, opened the door for Cobie, took the food from her hand and placed it on the floorboard, then snatched the keys from Cobie’s hands.

It was when I was rounding the truck’s nose that I saw Drake was now standing in the doorway glaring at me.

He didn’t say a word as I got into my truck and that’s probably what saved him from having his face beat in.