Chapter 21
Emma
The barista hands me a cupholder with four venti coffees and a bag full of pastries. “Have a nice day,” she says as I try to balance everything in two hands.
It’s moments like this when I wish I had one of those tables that could hang from around my neck like the vendors use at ballgames to carry drinks and popcorn. I could balance a lot more food with one of those babies. “Thanks. You too.”
This order is going to a start-up just a few doors down. It’s a quick delivery, but the old building doesn’t have an elevator. I have to walk up three flights of stairs without spilling the coffee or tripping and breaking my neck. Every day is an adventure.
My phone buzzes, but I don’t even attempt to pull it out of my pocket to check who’s calling. The number of people who call or text me is very short, and the list of people I actually want to talk to is even shorter. Hopefully, it’s Eli letting me know he’s fine. I don’t actually want to talk to him, but I would like to hear he’s not dead in a ditch somewhere.
I sigh as I push open the glass door with my ass and step outside. I’m about ninety percent sure the call is from Sebastian. He’s called or texted a few times each day since I walked away from him last week. I’ll admit that I sulked around the house all weekend, feeling sorry for myself. But I’m not ready to talk to him yet.
He obviously thinks I’m like all the women he’s dated—all the women he’s hated.
So I won’t give him the satisfaction of chasing after him. If he wants me, he’s got to do the work. Besides, I might be old-fashioned, but fucking strippers is a deal-breaker for me. If that’s something he wants to continue, he can. I just won’t be a part of it.
And if he wants to continue sleeping with Mercy, he’s welcome to. As long as she doesn’t come home and tell me all the sordid details, she can do whatever she wants. She’s a single, consenting adult. There’s no reason for her to limit her experiences just because I have a crush on someone who’s unavailable.
Hell, that’s pretty much my MO. Either I fall for guys who aren’t interested in a relationship, or I fall for those who do want a relationship but only so they can keep me under their control while they go fuck anything in a skirt.
No, thanks.
I’m done with that shit. It’s time I have a little self-respect and demand to be treated better. If that means I’ll spend the rest of my life alone with only a piece of silicone to keep me company at night, so be it. I won’t be any man’s side piece, and I won’t cry over someone who doesn’t care enough about me to give up other women.
Besides, I don’t have time for that bullshit. I promised Mercy I’d be there for her and Owen, and I’ve been distracted lately. Maybe I’ll pick up a Lego set on my way home to work on with Owen after he finishes his homework.
I reach the front door to the building and realize it’s too heavy for me to pull open with just my pinkie finger, and both of my hands are completely full. Of course.
Standing on the street like an idiot, I wait a good three minutes before some lady passing by realizes my dilemma and takes pity. “Do you need a hand?”
I nod appreciatively. “Thank you so much. I’ve been standing here hoping someone would notice and open the door.”
She has a small baby attached to her chest in a carrier and a toddler sitting in a stroller, but she still takes the time to help a stranger. Suddenly, I feel much better about life. I’ve been so busy worrying about my drama and the drama happening around me that I haven’t been paying attention to small acts of kindness when they occur.
The lady opens the door and holds it until I am fully through. I look at her over my shoulder with a wide smile. “Thank you so much. I hope you have a great day.”
“I am, thank you.”
As she continues down the sidewalk with her kids, I stand there and watch. God, I hope her husband appreciates what a good person she is and isn’t off fucking his secretary right at this minute.
Okay, so apparently, I can’t appreciate the little things without looking for a way to put a damper on them. With that grim thought, I huff it to the staircase and begin my journey up. I take a deep breath as I reach the first landing. Only two more to go. It’s early enough in the day that my feet don’t hurt yet, but a few more deliveries like this, and I’m going to be in pain later.
I reach the fourth-floor landing only slightly out of breath. There’s a light sheen of sweat on my forehead, but nothing too disgusting. Yet.
Right as I step in front of the fire door, it swings open, catching the edge of my hand and knocking the cup holder of drinks completely out of it.
“Shit,” I say about both the blood pouring from my fingers and the spilled coffee. I’m gonna have to go all the way back and replace that order.
The man who pushed the door open looks shocked to see me standing there. “Oh my god. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t get any coffee on you, did I?” I kneel down to collect the paper cups. “Do you know if there’s a janitor or someone who can help me clean this up?”
“Of course. Don’t even worry about it.” He reaches for the bag of pastries in my hand and then helps me to my feet. “Let me see your hand. Do you need stitches?”
There’s a lot of blood but not enough to warrant stitches. “No, I think they’re just skinned. That usually causes more blood than it should.”
“I can’t believe I did this. I was rushing…” He looks at me with genuine concern. I’m not sure if it’s for my safety or his wallet, but I’m not the litigious type so he doesn’t have anything to worry about. “It’s totally my fault. Here, come with me.”
I’m torn between trying to clean up the mess I made and following him. But since I don’t have any paper towels or a mop, there’s not really much I can do. He’s also carrying the bag of pastries I still need to deliver, so I can’t let him get too far away from me.
“Here, I’ll take those.” I reach for the bag.
The guy looks between my hand and my face as if he’s not sure whether to hand them over or not. “These are the Danishes and blueberry muffins, right?”
I pull out my phone to check the order. “Yeah, for Drew Baxter.”
“That’s me.” He opens the bag and peeks inside, taking a big whiff of the sugary sweetness. “I was just running to my car for a minute and figured you’d leave this with the receptionist.”
“Oh, sorry about the coffees. I can run back to Starbucks and replace those.”
“Don’t be silly.” He guides me into a break room and holds my hand over the sink as he carefully turns on the cold water. “I’ll place another order if the guys are that thirsty, but I’m sure they’ll understand.”
A familiar scent washes over me, and I realize Drew is wearing the same cologne Sebastian usually wears. It smells a little bit different on Drew, but the undertones of oak and cherry are unmistakable. I’d never smelled it before Sebastian. Now, it seems to be everywhere.
Drew has a grimace on his face as he inspects my fingers. “Are you sure you don’t want to see a doctor? There’s an urgent care office down the street. Obviously, I’ll cover any expenses you might incur.”
I take a closer look at that cuts and realize the bleeding has already started to slow down. “No, it’s fine. They won’t do anything except give me a few Band-Aids.” I look into Drew’s clear blue eyes and realize how attractive he is. Like, really attractive. “But, uh, if you happen to have a couple Band-Aids around here, that’d be great.”
“Absolutely.” He reaches under the sink for a first aid kit and begins rifling through it. He holds up several different sizes to my fingers to see which ones will fit best, all the while holding my hand as if he’s about to put a ring on it.
An unintended shiver races down my spine.
Drew’s eyes shoot up to lock with mine. “Are you okay?”
I smile, trying to remain calm. “Just got a chill.”
His eyes dip down to my mouth, and I force myself not to visibly react to the stirrings in my belly from his close inspection. “Yeah, I did too.”
Shit.
What am I doing? I just gave myself this whole pep talk about not chasing after guys, and now I’m practically drooling over this one. I’m pathetic. Besides, Drew is hot and sweet...but he’s not Sebastian. And as much as I want to forget about that ass, I’m still hoping he’ll decide I’m worth chasing for more than a quick fuck.
Clearing my throat, I take the bandages Drew offers and step back. “Thanks, but I better get going.”
“Oh, right.” He takes a step back too. “And sorry, again, about running into to you. If you do have any expenses or whatever, let me know.”
“No, it’s fine.” I wave off the idea and turn toward the exit. “Should I get new coffees?”
“No, it’s fine, but here.” He shoves a business card in my hand. “Call if you need me.”
I can’t tell if he’s just talking about needing him for my injury…or something else. Either way, I’m not sticking around long enough to find out. “Okay, thanks.”
I hightail it out of the office and down the stairs, grateful to be outside in the fresh air. With my phone in my hand, I’m about to mark this delivery completed so I can get my next order when a text from Sebastian comes in. I need to talk to you about your brother. It’s important.
My brother? What the hell would Sebastian know about Eli? Instead of sending a text response, I call Sebastian’s number.
He answers on the first ring, obviously expecting me. “Emma.”
“What do you know about Eli? Is he okay?”
“Did your brother tell you what he was going to be doing for work?”
A nervous roiling rocks my belly as I realize Sebastian might actually know something about Eli. If that’s true, the only reason he would be calling me is if it was bad. “Yeah, he owes money to someone and went up to Seattle to do a few jobs to pay his debt.”
“Did he tell you what the jobs were?”
“I don’t have time to play twenty questions, Sebastian. If you know something about Eli, just tell me. Is he okay?”
Sebastian sighs. “Can I pick you up? I’d like to talk to you in person.”
Tears begin to well in my eyes as I imagine all the reasons why Sebastian won’t give me a straight answer. “Please, Sebastian. Is he okay?”
“We’re not sure,” Sebastian says quietly. “He disappeared from our trackers a couple days ago. We think he might have been picked up by pirates who were after his…cargo.”
“Who is we?” I ask, confused as to how Sebastian plays any role in this gun-running thing Eli got caught up in. “Why would you be tracking him?”
“Please, Emma. Can we meet in person? This isn’t something we should be discussing over unsecured phone lines.”
Dammit, he’s probably right. “Fine. I’m just down the street. I’ll be at your office in a few minutes.” I hang up before he can say anything else.
Sebastian didn’t say Eli was okay, but he didn’t come out and say he wasn’t. So, I hold on to the hope that my brother is okay as I turn the corner in front of Sebastian’s building. He’s waiting at the door, looking all sexy with his shirt sleeves rolled up and an inked sleeve of tattoos peeking out. As soon as he sees me, his shoulders relax in relief. I don’t understand his reaction since I’m not the one in danger.
I put my hand on my hip and stare up at him. “How do you know about Eli?”
Sebastian reaches for one of my bent elbows and guides me down the sidewalk.
Reluctantly, I follow him. “Where are we going?”
“To the park. I promise to explain everything there.”
As soon as we’re sitting on a park bench away from any groups of people, Sebastian puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to his side. “It’s good to see you.”
“Tell me what’s going on.” I wrap my arms over my chest and glare at him. “I don’t have time for all the dramatics. I want to know what the hell has happened to my brother.”
For the next several minutes, I sit in shock as Sebastian explains his connection to the guy Eli is working for, his part in that business, and the fact that they’ve been tracking Eli to make sure he and the guns get to the buyers in a timely manner.
“So where is he now?” I don’t like that he’s hedging.
“We believe Eli’s being held on one of the San Juan Islands. Ray, my business partner, has a team trying to extract him now. But there are no guarantees.”
The tears I’ve been holding back erupt and stream down my cheeks. “Oh my god. So he could be dead already?”
Sebastian presses his lips to my temple. “He’s probably fine. But I’m going to Seattle in a few hours to meet up with one of Ray’s teams.”
“I’m going with you.” I pull away from Sebastian’s side and turn to fully face him. “Please, take me with you.”
He shakes his head. “It’s dangerous, Emma. I promise to do everything I can for Eli, and I’ll let you know as soon as I have any more information, but you have to stay here.”
“No way. I can’t just sit around here and wait for your call. Please, I need to be there.” Tears begin to flow again as I think about the worst-case scenario. “What if he’s dead? I need to be there to identify him.”
Sebastian’s jaw hardens even as his gaze softens. “If he’s dead, there won’t be anything for you to identify.”
~**~
Despite my pleas to go with him, Sebastian won’t budge. He takes me home and puts me into bed, then crawls in behind me, holding me as I cry myself to sleep. When I wake up again, he’s gone.
Immediately, I send him a text. Are you there yet?
Just about to land.
Please get him out of there safely. I take a stuttering breath and fall back into bed. I’m just about to doze off when my alarm sounds. It takes me a second to realize I’m supposed to be at Mercy’s in thirty minutes to watch Owen. She doesn’t start the new job for a few more days, but she’s already quit the restaurant, and Abbott convinced her to stay on at Pearls for a few more weeks while he brings in some new girls.
I hit the snooze button and then roll over, hoping to get just a few more minutes of rest before I have to face reality. Mercy will know something’s wrong, but I don’t want to get her involved in the details. Her initial guess will be that I’m still hung up on Sebastian. If that’s the case, I won’t correct her.
~**~
Hanging out with Owen always puts me in a good mood. He such a sweet kid and so easy to please. All I have to do is draw with him or play a game and he’s happy. He’s spent so much of his life being ignored and possibly abused, he’s just happy to have someone give him positive attention.
I see his math book sticking out of his backpack and remember he was struggling with his homework a few nights ago. “How are you doing in math?”
He looks up at me slowly. “Did Auntie Mercy tell you?”
I cock my head and narrow my eyes. “Tell me what?”
He drops his chin to his chest, unable to make eye contact with me. “I got in a fight at school yesterday.”
My jaw drops. “No, Owen. What happened?” Taking a closer look at him, I search for any marks or bruises. I don’t see any, so that relieves my immediate fear.
“There’s a kid in my class who is really mean to everybody. He took Shannee’s pink pen during art and wouldn’t give it back. She looked like she was going to cry, so I told him to give it back. And he just held it in front of me and said, ‘What are you gonna do?’” Owen stops speaking and peeks up at me.
“Well, what did you do?”
“I tried to grab it from him, but he turned his hand, so I ended up grabbing his arm.”
“Uh-huh. And then what?”
“Then he grabbed my arm and slapped my face.”
My hand closes into a fist. That brat is lucky he’s not in front of me right now, or he’d know what my hand feels like across his face. “So then what did you do?”
“I slapped him back. That’s when the teacher saw us. We both got sent to the principal’s office and had to stay there for the rest of the day. Auntie Mercy had to pick me up and talk to the principal.”
I’m not sure what to say. In my mind, I feel like he should’ve beaten this kid’s face in for slapping him. But I know that’s not the right thing to say. “How do you think you should’ve handled it?”
Owen picks up the marker he was coloring with and fidgets with the lid, snapping it on and off. “I guess I could’ve just told the teacher instead of trying to take it from him myself.”
Yeah, that’s better than what I came up with. We’ll go with that. “If you had done that, who would’ve been in trouble?”
Owen squints his eyes as he thinks about it then looks me right in the eye. “Colby. I wouldn’t have gotten into trouble at all.”
I shrug. “Sounds like a much better plan than you getting in trouble for something Colby caused.”
Owen smiles. “Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do next time.”
I reach for his shoulder and pull him up against my side. “You’re a smart kid, Owen. Don’t let a bully have any power over you. No matter who it is.”
After we color, Owen and I put on Sharkboy and Lavagirl and eat popcorn on the couch. We’re both asleep when Mercy sneaks inside the apartment at one a.m.
The sound of the door locking wakes me up, so I stand up and stretch out the kink in my back. “Hey, how was your night?”
Mercy slips off her shoes by the front door then puts her purse on the table. “Long. Now that I know I’m leaving, every minute there feels like torture.”
“Yeah, I can understand that.” I look down at Owen as he’s sprawled along the couch. “Sorry I let him fall asleep out here. He was still watching the movie when I dozed off.” I reach down to lift him up so I can carry him to his bed, but Mercy stops me.
“Don’t worry about it. He can sleep on the couch tonight.”