Chapter 23
Emma
The relief I feel when Eli’s text comes in is intense. As scared as I was, it’s not until I know he’s safe that the full impact of what could’ve happened hits me. I’m lying in bed, so I don’t try to stop the tears from flowing. I’ve never been a crier, but the past few days have been somewhat cathartic.
I barely slept and just finally dozed off for a nap after breakfast. When I wake up, I feel refreshed and ready for a new start. I check my phone and discover I slept through a text from Eli that came in a few hours ago. We should be at your place around two.
That doesn’t give me much time to get ready. I stand up and stretch then head for the bathroom. After a quick shower to rinse off, I get dressed and brush my hair. I consider running down to the deli to get sandwiches, but I don’t want to leave and miss their homecoming.
So in an unprecedented move, I pull up my Meals2Me app and order food to be delivered. It feels good to be on the receiving end of an upcoming delivery.
With the windows open to get some fresh air flowing, I turn on the news and wait. I don’t know why I feel so anxious, but my knee won’t stop bouncing and my cuticles are close to bleeding as I poke at them.
In the back of my mind, I expect Eli to still have my key on him and to just barge in, but when there’s a knock at my door, I practically jump out of my skin. I flip off the TV and rush to open the door.
Eli is standing there with a sheepish grin. “Hey, sis. Is your couch still available?”
I pull him into a tight hug, grateful he’s safe. “God, I’m glad you’re okay.”
He wraps both of his strong arms around my back and lifts me off the ground. “Yeah, me too. I was afraid they’d find out about you and come after you next.”
Eli releases me, and I take a step back so I can look up into his eyes. “So that’s it? No other psychopaths in your past that are going to come looking for you?”
Eli shrugs with a guilty grin. “As far as I know, your boyfriend took out the last one. I should be okay for a while.”
The reference to Sebastian brings back some of the pain I felt prior to Eli’s disappearance. I glance at Sebastian then back to Eli. “He’s not my—”
Sebastian cuts me off before I can finish my sentence. “I think we should talk, Emma.” When I look at him, his expression is unreadable. “When you’re ready.” He reaches out to pat Eli’s shoulder. “Take care of yourself, man.”
Eli looks between me and Sebastian, confused. “Okay… Is it because of me?”
“No,” Sebastian and I say at the same time.
I turn back to Eli and shake my head. “No, not at all. But…”
Eli is unusually perceptive to the situation and steps farther into the apartment. “Yeah, I’m gonna go jump in the shower. It’ll take at least half an hour to wash off the last few days.” Before Sebastian or I can stop him, he takes off down the hallway and disappears into my bathroom.
“So, do you want to come inside?” I ask Sebastian, waving him in.
He hesitates for a moment before nodding and stepping inside.
I sit down on the couch and wait for him to join me. The air between us is awkward and tense, but for many different reasons. Not the least of which is the chemistry that always seems to be pulsing between us.
“You’ve been avoiding my calls.” Sebastian jumps right to the chase. I guess that’s good. No sense in beating around the bush.
“Honestly, I didn’t think I’d have the strength to say no if I talked to you. But in my heart, I know I have to.”
The hurt in his eyes is obvious, but his voice is steady. “What are you saying no to?”
“To your…indecent proposal or whatever it is. I won’t be a kept woman, Sebastian. I can’t take your money and be on call for sex, especially if you’re still sleeping with other women. It’s just not who I am.”
“What makes you think I want to sleep with other women?”
I look at him like he’s an idiot. “Why wouldn’t you? That’s who you are. You have lots of women. Shit, you have a whole paid harem available to you any day of the week. Why would you give that up for me? For anyone?”
Sebastian blows out a slow breath and gets closer to me on the sofa. “I keep asking myself that same thing…”
I scoff. “And then you realize how ridiculous it sounds?”
“No, I realize it means something else. Something I don’t want it to mean, but I also don’t want to stop.”
I bend my elbow on the back of the couch and rest my temple against my palm. “I don’t understand these riddles, Sebastian. What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that… I’m in love with you, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I don’t want to control you, but I also don’t want you to see anyone else either.”
All the air in my lungs is pushed out in a heavy sigh as his words slowly sink in. “Do you really mean that?” I whisper, finding it hard to believe that what he’s saying is true.
Sebastian reaches for my hand and brings it to his lips, placing a kiss there. “I’m not sure if I was ever truly in love with any of the women in my past, but I knew I could live without them just fine when it was over. But without you, I can’t breathe. When you won’t talk to me, I can’t function. The only thing that got me through the past week was having the distraction of Eli’s situation. And even that was just to keep you happy.”
I scoot forward so my mouth is just inches away from Sebastian’s, and my eyes lock on his. “So, now what?”
Sebastian smiles, and my insides tingle because it’s directed at me. “Now I kiss you, and you agree to give me a chance. Just me. No one else…for work or for pleasure.”
My eyes drift closed just as Sebastian’s lips press against mine. For minutes or hours—I don’t know how long—his kisses convey all the words he still struggles to say out loud. And I accept them, giving as well as taking from him as our tongues explore and our lips close over every bit of skin they can touch.
I close my teeth over Sebastian’s earlobe then gently pull off, leaving a kiss behind to soothe the sting. “I love you too, Sebastian James. And for the record, there could never be anybody else. You’ve ruined me for other men, and no matter how desperate I am for cash, I would never sell my body. Not after knowing what you can do to it.”
Sebastian turns his head and captures my lips with his. He smiles against me, his tongue tracing my lower lip before dipping inside across my teeth. “You will never be desperate for any kind of cash. Whether things work out with us or not, I promise I’ll always be there for you. I don’t want you to feel desperate for anything…ever.”
I kiss the corner of his mouth then rest my forehead against his. “Even for you?”
His laugh is low and husky and sends a tingle right through my core. “Oh, no. I plan to make you desperate for me every day for as long as you’ll let me.”