CHAPTER TEN

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

GUS

THIS IS GOOD.

This is the right choice.

Grinning, I adjusted the box I held and punched in the alarm code. When the light turned green and the lock clicked, I opened the lobby door and headed for the elevator. I bounced on my heels as it traveled up, as though that would make it go faster. When I reached the seventh floor, I was out as soon I could squeeze through the sliding doors.

I hadn’t even made it halfway down the hall when a door opened and a beast stepped out, blocking my way.

In two steps, he was on me.

My back was pushed against the wall, the box plucked from my hand before I dropped it. His large hand gripped my chin, tipping it up so his mouth could cover mine. Deepening the kiss, he groaned like a desperate man.

Since it’d been over a week since I’d tasted honey smoke and Killian, I was just as wild for it.

He pulled away, pressing his forehead to mine. “You were supposed to call when your plane landed.”

“I was too excited to wait so I grabbed a taxi.”

“Saw from the balcony.” His hazel eyes swirled as he grabbed my duffel from me. “Missed you, mo chuisle.”

After Meema was discharged from the hospital, she’d been sent to an inpatient rehabilitation facility to continue her recovery. I’d worried her escape attempts would increase—and be more successful at the lax center—but she’d enjoyed it.

Seeing her there had made me realize I’d been wrong. She would love the assisted living home.

Killian had also been wrong. Whatever had been happening wasn’t something Beck could handle. The day after the initial text, he’d gotten a call from Beck that’d made the storm brew in his eyes.

Since we’d been at Meema’s packing her stuff up, I’d gotten to be the one to ease the storm while he’d fucked me goodbye on my old bed.

Teen me would’ve lost her tiny mind had she known what the future held.

Once Killian had left, I’d worked around Meema’s house during the day before spending my evenings with her at the facility.

My nights had been for Killian. Only instead of being with him in his hotel room, I’d been in my old bed while we’d talked on the phone. He’d still made me come, but it’d been with my hand between my legs while he’d described the explicit things he wanted to do with me.

It’d been hot.

But, after experiencing everything that was Killian, a week was a long time to go with just my hand. A woman who had a beast of her own wasn’t made to go that long without him.

It’d been time for me to head back to Boston. I missed my beast. And like him, I didn’t hesitate to share that.

“I missed you, too,” I whispered back, soaking in the feel of him against me again.

“How’s your nan?”

“She’ll be out in a few days and, get this, she’s staying with a friend. Her house will be listed soon, but Miz Susan said she’d handle any issues with that. Meema’s focusing on the going away party they’re having for her. Plus, dinners, lunches—the whole nine yards. It’s like she’s on her farewell tour.”

“Bet she’s loving that.”

“You’d bet right. I’m surprised she hasn’t orchestrated a parade in her honor. Everything set at the home?”

“She can move in anytime,” Killian said, officially cementing his position as Meema’s favorite since he’d pulled some strings to get her a condo in some exclusive community.

I hadn’t realized there was anyone else in the hall until someone loudly cleared their throat.

Releasing my jaw, Killian put his hand to the wall near my head and glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, for fook’s sake.”

I went up onto my toes to see over his shoulder, but I was too short. Instead, I ducked my head under his arm and leaned to the side to see around him.

Blake was standing in his open doorway, glaring at us.

Oops.

As much as I wanted to blame my pettiness, the truth was, I’d forgotten he lived there. I’d seen Killian and nothing else had mattered.

I gave Blake a dingus wave from my awkward position. “Sorry, uhh, we’ll just be getting out of the way.” I sidestepped out from behind Killian and gripped his wrist.

“Wait,” Blake said, proving irrefutably that book smarts didn’t equal real smarts. “You didn’t return my calls.”

“Nope, I didn’t. Okay, well, good talk. Bye.” I tried again to walk away, but Blake doubled down the stupid.

“He’s not who he says he is, Augusta. He’s dangerous.”

No shit.

Killian barked out a laugh. “Aye, I’ve gotta fookin’ hear this. What do ya know about me, lad?”

Uh-oh.

His mask was in place, making him appear bored and indifferent. But the thicker accent meant he was pissed.

Blake fueled that fire by keeping his eyes only on me. “He’s got guns.”

“Yup.” I spread my hands apart. “Big ones. Impressively big ones. Registered and everything, which I’m assuming is how you found out.”

“But did your thug tell you he’s obsessed with you?”

“Every day.”

His face twisted. “He watched you in the lobby when you came over. After finding out about his guns, I… was worried about you,” he tried, when we both knew he was only worried about the blows to his ego, “so I looked at some lobby security footage. That morning in the hall wasn’t the first time he’d seen you. He waited and watched you, Augusta. Did he tell you that?”

He had, actually.

On his last night in Tennessee, he’d told me about seeing me in the lobby. About wanting me.

I hadn’t known he’d been waiting and watching, though. Of course, when he’d admitted to having already seen me before that first morning, his cock had been gliding in and out in a slow torture, so I hadn’t pushed for any details.

“You knew?” Blake asked, his tone a mix of accusation and disgust. “He followed you outside when you left. That’s stalking! You could press charges right now. I’d even represent you for free.”

Killian’s arm constricted around me, his body going rigid.

For the most part, he’d been following my lead, respecting me enough to keep quiet and be there for me while I’d dealt with Blake.

But the beast at my back was livid.

Just not as livid as I was.

Hands on my hips, I fought hard to keep from having a bitchfit.

Blake would’ve deserved it, but the simple fact was, he’d done me a favor by being a douche. Otherwise, it may have been a little longer before I’d inevitably dumped him for Killian.

So, really, I owed him.

Which was why I was only semi-pissy when I asked, “You mean those times when, after realizing you weren’t getting laid, you blamed early meetings and called me an Uber? Thanks for letting me know that Killian cared enough to keep me safe.  I owe him an extra enthusiastic blow job now.”

Without another word, I twisted out of Killian’s hold, grabbed his wrist, and pulled.

And got exactly nowhere.

“Time to move,” Killian told Blake, his tone deceptively calm. “You want the reminder of the goddess you were thick enough to give up, your choice. ‘Cause unlike you, I don’t need to run my mouth about whether or not I’ve fooked Gus. You’ll know by looking at her. But if you say a single word to her again, I’ll do what I do best.”

“What? Be a thug?”

“Find shit. Shit you want buried. I’ll line your skeletons up one by one so the whole world sees.”

With his point made, Killian let me pull him toward the apartment.

I’d barely made it into the living room when I was nearly knocked over by a fuzzy torpedo. Dropping to my ass, I opened my arms and accepted Nolan’s love, his tail wagging like crazy.

“I missed you, too, bud.” I scratched his ears.

“He’s been moping around, sad and ornery,” Killian told me. “Both of us have.”

“Is it true?” I asked without looking at him.

“Aye. We’ve been a couple of pathetic lads.”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

Killian dropped my duffel but set the box down carefully.

When I’d gone through Meema’s, there hadn’t been much of my old stuff I’d cared to keep. What hadn’t been donated had been packed for the movers to deal with. The only exception had been that box, which I’d brought on the plane with me. It was filled with irreplaceable things of my mom’s, and I hadn’t wanted to risk anything happening to it.

Turning to lean against the island, Killian crossed his arms. “Told you I’d already seen you. Also told you I wanted you from that moment. I just didn’t say when that was.”

That was true.

Still...

“Seeing and watching are two very different things,” I pointed out.

Killian moved to stand in front of me. Reaching out, he cupped my cheek. “First day you were here, you were sitting like this. You stared up at me with those wide eyes, and I was gone. Never had my dick go so hard, so fast. I wanted your lips wrapped around me, aye, but mostly I wanted you to always look at me like you were.”

“How was I looking at you?”

“Like you knew I was the monster in the dark, and you wanted to turn the light off and be with me.”

Again, he was right. Even before I’d seen his guns, I’d known he was dangerous.

And I’d wanted him all the same.

Offering me his hand, he pulled me to stand before tugging me close. His palm slid down my spine to settle on my ass, and I had to lean back to see anything more than his broad chest or bearded jaw.

“I watched because I’d told myself if you were happy, I’d leave you alone to have a normal life. One with a lad who didn’t have a body count on his soul and blood on his hands.” His lips curled up on one side. “Not saying I would’ve been able to stay away, but that’s what I’d claimed.”

With his whole eagle-eyed thing, I knew his observations would be correct. That didn’t stop me from asking, “What’d you see?”

“That you were happy.”

Swing and a miss.

Poor Killian, no longer batting a thousand. He’ll have to settle for .999.

“But not with that prick,” he amended, preserving his streak. “It was because that’s who you are. You wanted to be happy with him, but you weren’t. Which was why you hadn’t fooked him.”

“You knew?”

“A blind man could’ve seen you hadn’t. That he didn’t make you happy.” He dropped his forehead to mine. “I might be the monster in the dark, but I’ll live and fookin’ die to make you happy, mo chuisle.”

“Then kiss me and take me to bed, Killian,” I ordered huskily.

“Love the way you say my name,” he growled, his fingertips digging into my ass cheek as he pulled me up onto my toes and leaned into me, dipping me back. His hardness pressed against my belly as he took my mouth, his kiss bruising and raw.

He tugged my shirt up, pausing the kiss only long enough to whip it over my head. I did the same to his, but when I couldn’t reach any higher, he took over. My lips skimmed across his hard abs and chest as he reached behind his neck with one hand, yanking the tee off in a smooth motion.

Killian unhooked my bra, and I shrugged it off, tossing it somewhere as he palmed my breasts. The calloused pads of his thumbs were rough on my nipples as he teased them with barely there touches before continuing down. His knuckles skimmed my stomach until he reached my leggings. Bending to shove them down, his lips trailed from my jaw to my neck, his teeth, tongue, and beard teasing the sensitive skin.

I held him to me while trying—and failing—to stretch my arm far enough to undo his jeans. “Killian.” His name came out as a moan of pleasure and a growl of frustration.

“Fookin’ love it,” he bit out before taking my mouth in a kiss so demanding, I could only hold onto his shoulders and give him what he wanted.

Me.

Lifting me easily, he didn’t pull away from the kiss as he started walking, impressively not crashing us into anything.

Impatient and so turned on I was shaking, I worked at trying to kick off my shoes and pants but had only managed the shoes by the time we’d reached the bed. My leggings and panties were still tight around my knees when Killian loosened his hold on me, slowly lowering me so my body dragged against his. As soon as my feet touched the floor, I was scrambling to pull my bottoms the rest of the way off.

“No.”

At Killian’s gruff word, my eyes shot to him. “What?”

“On the bed, ass up, mo chuisle.”

Don’t gotta tell me twice.

I scooched to the middle of the bed before rolling over onto my knees with my ass up and my chest down. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Killian’s gaze was locked on my pussy. I watched as he roughly shoved his jeans down, taking his cock in his fist the moment it was free. Gripping it and stroking slowly, he stepped out of his pants and put his knees to the bed.

Since I couldn’t spread my legs, I wasn’t sure what he planned to do. If it was more torturous teasing, I was gonna riot.

After I enjoyed it for a minute or two.

Ten at the most.

Positioning himself with his knees to the outside of mine, Killian didn’t tease. He didn’t take it slow. He slammed his cock into my pussy, going to the hilt and lifting my knees off the bed.

I cried out at the intense pleasure.

It was too much. With my legs nearly closed, trapped by my pants and his own legs, the already acute fullness of Killian fucking me from behind was magnified. I couldn’t spread to ease the ache. I felt… everything.

I clutched the sheet.

I arched my back and tipped my ass up in the air as high as I could get it.

I moaned when he palmed my ass cheeks, his fingers digging in.

I hissed out a delirious approval when he used that hold to slam into me harder.

My trapped legs meant that when his control was gone, I was able to take his forceful thrusts without my knees sliding apart. I didn’t have to stop to reset my stance.

With no break from his relentless, desperate rhythm, the pleasure he was building low in my belly didn’t have the chance to wane. It grew, tightening and coiling until there was no more it could take.

Like my veins were filled with electrical currents, bursts of blinding pleasure hit different spots, making me pulse as my orgasm ripped through me.

Destroyed me.

“Thank fook,” Killian grunted, his words echoing in the void that was my head since my brain was still riding the high.

Moving his hand, he reached around to stroke my clit, making tiny jolts shoot through me.

“I can’t take another,” I claimed, even as I felt it building. I lifted up on my arms, determined to shift away, but my hips started rocking instead.

Still teasing my clit, his other palm flattened between my shoulder blades, pressing my chest back to the bed. He kept it there, though he eased the pressure. “Been a week, mo chuisle. I’m feeling greedy.”

I need to come.

Now.

Killian’s thrusts grew uneven and frantic. Mine were just as chaotic as I fucked myself on his cock.

It was uncoordinated.

Raw.

Perfectly imperfect.

The tension in me exploded, leaving my head swimming and my body feeling like a trillion separate nerve endings.

Killian’s groans filled the room, sounding rough and harsh.

Savage.

When he was finished, his torso covered mine, his mouth at my ear when he whispered, “Really fookin’ missed you, mo chuisle.”

His lips and beard trailed down my spine, his cock sliding out of me as he moved away.

Without him holding me in place, I flopped down, far from graceful but also really fucking far from caring.

Killian left the room, but I didn’t have the energy to look to see where he was going. He was back a minute later, and the bottom of the bed dipped. Tugging my leggings and panties the rest of the way off, he spread my legs.

Even though I couldn’t see it, I knew Killian was staring. It was like a physical sensation, pulling at me as the air went thick.

But it wasn’t happening.

“I actually mean it this time,” I muttered, my words muffled against the mattress. “I cannot go again. For a long, long time.”

Chuckling, Killian wiped something warm between my legs. “Aye. I won’t try again until tomorrow.”

“Whoa, let’s not go crazy. We’ll aim for a few hours.”

There was another chuckle. “I gotta take Nolan out and check in with my guys. Sleep.”

“Aye,” I muttered, never too tired to tease him.

“You play with fire, little one.” His hands went next to my head, his body caging me in as he lowered his mouth to my ear. “It’s been over a week since I’ve tasted you, and I’m fookin’ starving.”

Maybe I’m not so tired.

As long as I don’t have to move, I think I can make this work.

“But that’ll wait until you get some sleep.” The bed shifted again as he climbed out and covered me up, closing the door softly behind him.

Half-asleep, my thoughts bounced around. They replayed pieces of my altercation with Blake—filling in the zippy comebacks I should’ve said—before focusing on the knowledge that Killian had wanted me for longer than I’d realized.

In that hazy space between consciousness and sleep, I briefly wondered if Killian may have had something to do with expediting the demise of Blake and me. As a complete stranger, it wasn’t as if he could’ve walked up and demanded I leave Blake to be his.

He was hot, but no one could pull that off without looking like a nut job.

The timing and coincidence of it…

As quick as the thought formed, I dismissed it. Not because I didn’t think it was possible. It totally was. Killian was ruthlessly determined to get what he wanted.

And, according to him, he’d never wanted anything or anyone as badly as he wanted me.

But it was a moot point. Even if Killian had done something, it’d still been Blake’s decision to cheat—and I doubted it’d been the first time. I was just grateful that, suspicious timing or not, I’d caught him before wasting any more of my life.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew, I was on my side and someone’s body was curling around mine, their front to my back. Inhaling, I smelled honey smoke and Killian.

“Everything ‘kay?” I mumbled.

“Aye.” His lips were pressed against the top of my head, his voice a rough, rumbled whisper. “Welcome home, mo chuisle.”

Then, like he always did when we slept together, Killian pushed his arm under my head and curved it so he could hold my breast. His other wrapped around to cup me between my legs, the possessive touch a reminder of the dull ache he’d created there.

Killian Nox loved me like I was priceless and fucked me like I was unbreakable.

It was perfect.

Actually, my life was.

Perfect and fun and hard and heartbreaking and sexy and stressful and real.

It was perfectly imperfect in a way I hadn’t known it could be until I’d had a beast at my back.

Until Nox.