Chapter Seventeen
Cassie
“Come on, wild man, you have to eat something other than doughnut holes.” Wyllie clamped his lips together and shook his head. I’d fallen asleep when I was trying to get him to take a nap and we’d both woken up three hours later. When I came downstairs, the house was oddly quiet. I found a note from my mother telling me she went to see the florist and my dad needed to run to his office. Dec and Brice were both passed out in padded lounge chairs on the back porch, covered in blankets with a heater standing between them. Now I was trying my best to get some nutrition in my son’s belly before his grandparents got home and loaded him down with sugar. Sugar that neither Brice nor I were allowed to consume while we were growing up. “Wyllie, it’s yogurt. You love yogurt.”
“Hey, bud. How was your nap?” Dec walked in and ruffled Wyllie’s hair.
Wyllie grinned at his dad and I used the distraction to shove some food in his mouth. He scowled at me, but luckily he didn’t spit it out.
“Mommy’s ruthless, huh?” Declan picked Wyllie up out of his high chair and took the yogurt from me. He went to the kitchen table and sat with Wyllie in his lap. Dec took a small bite of the yogurt and then offered Wyllie some. Of course, Wyllie ate it without complaint. Declan was a natural with him.
I smiled at Wyllie. “Little traitor.” I opened the fridge and took out some green beans I’d cooked yesterday. “Here, see if you can get him to eat these.”
Dec ate a couple, then Wyllie reached his hand in the bowl and shoved one in his mouth. “Good job, buddy. Green beans are so yummy.”
“Where’s Brice? Is he still sleeping on the porch?”
“He left a few minutes ago, said he had a date.” Dec fed Wyllie another bite of yogurt.
I slapped the island, getting Dec’s attention. “Hey, I found all of our birth control.”
Declan raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “Yeah, it miraculously appeared back in our bathroom after we announced our engagement.”
Declan shook his head. “Our mothers are certifiable.”
“Word.”
Dec airplaned another bite into Wyllie’s mouth. “What do you want to do tonight?”
“I need to do some shopping. Wyllie needs more winter clothes, it’s going to be just above freezing the whole time we’re here. Do you want to come? Mom can watch him for us.”
“Sure. I’ll go with. We can grab some dinner too. What time is your mom going to be home? Did she say?” Declan smiled when Wyllie ate another green bean.
“No, her note just said she was meeting with the florist and she’d be home soon.” I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and twisted it open. “Do you, um, have any preference on the flowers for the ceremony?”
Declan chuckled. “No. I’m sure whatever she picks will be fine.”
“Is there anything about the wedding that you have a preference about? It’d be best to speak up now before our moms go crazy.” I took a long drink of water, waiting for his reply.
“It’s a fake wedding, Cass. I don’t care about the details.”
I knew it was fake, but I felt like he’d punched me in the stomach. He was only going along with this as a favor to me. But I also thought that since maybe we’d been spending all this time together, been sleeping together… I guess I’d just hoped that maybe he’d care a little more. “Yeah, no, you’re right. The little things don’t matter. I’m going to head upstairs and get changed. You okay with him?” My words came out more clipped than I’d intended them to.
Declan nodded, his gaze curious. “We’re good. Are you okay? You seem pissed.”
“I’m fine.” I turned and walked out before he could see my eyes fill with tears. I knew it was stupid. I knew it was a fake engagement, but his indifference still stung. Did I mean nothing to him? Dammit. Three days with Dec was all it took. Now I was exactly where I didn’t want to be: second-guessing myself, second-guessing my decisions.
I should have never slept with him. I should have insisted that he stay in his own room. I felt so naïve, so weak.
My fears were coming true.
I needed to fix this, and fast.
***
It took me longer than necessary to get dressed. My brain was too focused on Declan. I stared at the clothes in my closet for a full five minutes before I remembered I was supposed to be finding something to put on. Perfect. My mind was on Declan, or my body was on Declan. My heart? On its way to Dec too.
“Hey, your mom just got home. Are you ready to go?”
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Damn sexy irresistible devil. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
He crossed the room and slid his arms around my waist. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”
I gave his arms a quick squeeze then turned for the door. “I’m fine.”
Declan grabbed my hand, bringing me back to him. “Cass. Talk to me. I may not have a lot of experience with relationships but I’m pretty sure that ‘I’m fine’ always means ‘You’re in a shitload of trouble, bubba.’”
I took my hand out of his and crossed my arms over my chest. “Is that what this is, Dec? Are we in a relationship? Or is this just you doing a favor, taking pity, on the girl who screwed you over?”
He took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of my bed. “Cassie, I…I told you before, I’m doing my best to figure all this out. I don’t want to rush anything here. We need to think about Wyllie and—”
“That’s just it, Dec. Us, sharing a room and sharing a bed? It’s too confusing for me. I can’t be confused. I don’t have the space in my head to think about this, I should be thinking about Wyllie. This isn’t what’s best for him, because it’s not what’s best for me.”
He threw his hands in the air. “So that’s how it works? What’s best for you is always what’s best for Wyllie? That seems a little off, Cassie.”
“You don’t get it.” I shook my head sadly. “You’ll never get it. You’ve always been so sure of yourself, sure of your choices, of where you stand.”
Declan reached for my hand again. “Cassie, come here—”
“Where are your mommy and daddy? Are they upstairs in their room? Let’s go see. Call them, say, ‘Mommy. Daddy.’”
“Mommy! Daddy!”
The sound of my mom coming up the stairs with Wyllie ended our conversation. Probably for the best. Since Dec had put on his sweet smile and I was seconds away from letting him take my hand and no doubt pull me onto his lap. “We’re in here, Wild Man.” I smiled when they came into the room and my boy lunged for me.
“Mommy!”
“You found me.” I nuzzled his sweet little baby head. His hair was so dark, almost exactly the same shade as Dec’s. I turned Wyllie on his stomach and flew him into Declan’s arms. “Tell Daddy bye, him and Mommy have got to run some errands.”
“Bye-bye, Daddy.”
My heart melted as Declan loudly kissed his chubby baby cheeks, making Wyllie giggle. “See you tonight, bud. Be good for Gigi.” He stood and handed him back to my mom.
“Oh, he is always good for Gigi. I’m going to put him in the tub. You two have a good time.” She kissed my cheek on the way out the door.
Declan waited for her to head down the hall before reaching for my hand again. “Cassie, let’s talk about this.”
I shook my head and took a step back, smiling. “Really, Dec, it’s fine. I’m fine. We’ll shop, and then we’ll go have some drinks, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” He dropped his hand by his side and followed me down the stairs and out the door.
I could feel his gaze on my back all the way to the car.