The week whizzes by and yet, every moment feels like a trudge to the guillotine. We film day and night, from cake tasting to venue shopping. I was spared the wedding dress saga and the heartfelt advice from Simone to Liesa.

For her part, Liesa acts every bit the nervous and excited bride. She fluctuates from elated and giddy, to hysterical and bitchy. Her mood swings seem over the top even for Liesa’s Life, but it makes good TV.

I tried to forget Kylie and make the best of things with Liesa. Kylie will be so much better off without me and this dysfunctional parade. With her contract fulfilled, she’s free to restart her life. I hope she leaves the island, goes to grad school, gets her CPA certificate and takes off. But I can’t picture her in business suits, trapped inside a high rise, brokering deals, and taking after her father. She belongs in the open, on the beach and under the waves. Diving suits her and I can’t think of her anywhere else.

I stare at myself in my bedroom mirror and try on a smile. Liesa might be a professional bitch, but she’s a girl playing a part. Everyone in her life has used her and she’s probably had very few real relationships. She knows Jonas hired me to be her boyfriend, but she’s started trusting me and now I’m afraid she loves me.

All week Liesa and Simone fight, both in front of the camera and in private. Simone finally gives up and acquiesces to a wedding on the beach at sunset. With only a week to plan, the expense of getting another venue, which would inevitably amount to paying off some other wedding party who has been planning their event for over a year, had been crazy and Jonas had weighed in on Liesa’s side.

Kylie is the only girl I want, the one person I feel myself with. If only Kylie was walking up the aisle toward me, I’d be the happiest guy on the planet. I start imagining her in a flowing white dress, soft veil draped over her blonde hair and the view skips. She still walks down the aisle, a radiant smile lighting her face and her blue eyes sparkling with love for me, but she wears a short sundress and her hair bounces in that cute ponytail. That’s my Kylie, full of energy and life and ready for the next dive.

A single rap on the door and it opens. My heart leaps with the ridiculous hope it’s Kylie. Alicia bursts in and shuts the door behind her.

She stands with her arms akimbo, assessing me in my crisp white shirt, cummerbund, and tuxedo trousers, the bow tie hanging loose around my neck. “You clean up nice, bro. But this is fucked and you know it.”

Yeah. I do know it. “Liesa may be a lot of things, but she knows fashion. That dress looks great on you. Thanks for being my best man.”

She taps her foot. “It’s the last thing I want to do. You don’t belong with Liesa. You belong with Kylie.”

That catches me off-guard. I didn’t know it was obvious to anyone else. It takes me a moment to recover. “Liesa and I deserve each other. Kylie is better off without me.”

“You’re such an idiot. Liesa and Blake should be together. At least until the baby is born.”

Baby? What? “Did you say…?”

She gives me an of course kind of look, deepening her dimples. “Baby? Yeah.”

I stare at her, trying to process this. It makes sense. Liesa’s weird moods. Their underwater summit meeting. Blake being at her house the night of Diana’s attack. “How do you know this stuff?”

Her dimples deepen further. “It’s my special power.”

“Does Blake know?”

She considers that. “I don’t think so.”

Maybe that’s why Liesa suddenly seems so impatient to marry me. Blake should know about a baby. But I’ll have to sort that out later. Right now, a guillotine waits for me on a sunset beach.

Alicia steps close and starts to manipulate my tie. “I assume you’re protecting Kylie somehow. I wish you’d tell me the details. Maybe I can help.”

She doesn’t know about the shower scene. I let her work on the tie. “You can’t help. I’m going to marry Liesa and we’ll both be fine. Kylie will live a great life without cameras intruding.”

Alicia steps back and studies me. “Well, marriage isn’t forever, otherwise I’d be the first one to speak now and not forever hold my peace.”

Marriage should be forever.

Kylie, what have I done?

Maybe I can divorce Liesa in a year or two. But between then and now, I have to be her husband. Sleep in the same bed, share our lives, maybe be a father to Blake’s baby. I might not know a lot about life, but I know there’s no good divorce. Even if it’s not a real marriage, it will be worse than breaking up with a girlfriend. However it works out, Liesa will be hurt and I still lose Kylie.

Alicia grabs my jacket from the bed. “Beach wedding should mean barefoot and shorts. What’s with the monkey suit?”

It feels like a straightjacket when I put it on. “Simone won.”

Alicia opens the door for me and slaps me on the back. “Cheer up. There’s going to be a lot of champagne.”