MISCHA DIDN’T KNOW how he was going to keep himself busy while Ash was gone. He didn’t like this whole sit-back-and-let-someone-else-handle-things plan. Even if those things weren’t technically his to deal with.

When Victoria rang the bell, about half an hour after Ash left, he sent a glance to the sky. Not the kind of distraction he was looking for.

He answered anyway. She’d changed her clothes since this morning, and now wore a baggy T-shirt, her hair pulled back, and no makeup. It was a startling reminder she was much closer to Ash’s age than his.

“I know nothing is official yet, but you’ve got me excited.” Her smile was bright and sweet. “I wondered... I wanted to ask you some questions about the building, if you have a little time.”

The reserved demeanor wasn’t like her either. He had a pretty good idea what she was playing at, but she’d also done Ash and Kelly a huge favor, so he wasn’t going to be rude. Removed. And certainly not playing into this new angle for flirting. But not rude.

He opened the door wider. “Come on in.”

She wanted to see the floor plans for the place, if he had them. He was surprised she actually wanted to talk about the property. Within a few minutes, they had blueprints and other layout information spread out on his desk.

Victoria had questions about wiring, plumbing, and load bearing structures. As he pointed out answers, he almost heard the gears in her brain turning, figuring out how to place everything. They stood with their backs to the door, poring over everything.

Maybe her visit here was strictly business after all. It was a better distraction than he expected from Ash being gone.

“Tell me something, and be honest.” The catch in Victoria’s voice resummoned his tension. She turned and leaned against the desk, to meet his gaze.

“What’s up?”

“You and Ash—is it real?”

The way she phrased the question made his thoughts stall. Were they actually engaged? No. Did he love her? Yes. That was real. Did she feel the same? He had a feeling yes, but he couldn’t speak for her. And none of those details were for Victoria to hear before Ash did. “It is.”

“Is there any universe where you forgive me for what happened between us?”

“I’ve already forgiven you.”

Her smile was tentative, lacking her standard confidence. “Yeah?”

“It won’t make me love you, though.”

She gave a sharp laugh. “This isn’t about us. We’re toxic for each other. But I still care about you, and she could be just as dangerous.”

The words sent an unexpected spike of irritation through him. “This isn’t about who is and isn’t broken.” He fucking hated that word. “I wish you weren’t stuck on that, and I really wish you hadn’t put that thought in Ash’s head.”

“It was already there, or what I said wouldn’t have mattered. Besides, why are you so determined to save the world? It’s not your job to fix the broken dolls.”

He clenched his jaw at her emphasis. “First,” he spoke through clenched teeth, “Ash isn’t broken. She’s got some hang-ups, we all do. When you were struggling, you were happy to suck me down with you.” He winced at the accusation, and the hurt that flashed over Victoria’s face.

“That’s not you now, but it was then.” He let apology slide into his words. “But that’s not Ash.”

“Is there a second point on your list? Or more?” Victoria’s tone was flat and emotionless.

“What?”

“You said first. I assume that means there’s a second.”

Right. “Sure. Second, why are you so convinced that my caring about people is a character flaw? It’s not.”

“You’re right, it’s not.” Everything but resignation vanished from Victoria’s voice. “But falling for someone because you want to fix them is a character flaw.”

“I don’t love Ash because I want to fix her.” It felt good to say it out loud—that he loved Ash—but he hated that Ash wasn’t the first person to hear it. “I love her because she’s smart and funny and impulsive and sexy as fuck without even trying.” As he spoke, Victoria’s expression softened. “I want to see her deal with her demons,” he said. “I want to be there so she has someone to listen when she’s hurt. And none of that matters if she doesn’t want the same.

“It was the same with you.” He locked his gaze on Victoria’s. “I left you because when we were together, you didn’t want to get better.” He squeezed her fingers then let go. “I know you reached that point, and I’m glad. You deserve that. But it doesn’t have anything to do with Ash and me.”

She kissed him on the cheek, then pushed to her feet, looking past him. “You’re so very lucky, and you don’t even know it.”

Mischa whirled to see Ash standing in the doorway, expression blank except for wide eyes. She spun on her toe and walked away.

Fuck. He glared at Victoria, who shrugged. He shook his head and took off after Ash. Victoria knew the way out.

He heard the front door open and close when he was halfway up the stairs. Seconds later, he stood in front of Ash’s room.

She sat on her bed, legs dangling over the edge, gripping the mattress with her good hand. Tears stained her cheeks, but she wasn’t crying.

“How did things go?” That wasn’t how he wanted to open. He needed to know how much she’d heard. Make sure she got the whole story.

Her smile was heartbreaking. “Good. We got Kelly back. She’s downstairs.”

We. “Talk to me?” He hated that he might be the cause of her tears. “At least tell me what you need me to say.”

Ash dragged the back of her hand across her cheeks, and gave him a weak smile.

What was he supposed to do with that?

She stood and crossed the room, stopping inches away. She stood on tiptoe, and kissed him lightly, stealing his thoughts. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“For what?” He stopped himself from telling her not to apologize. He had no idea what her frame of mind was like.

“For pushing you away. I was wrong.”

“How much did you hear?”

She twisted her mouth in apology, and he wanted to kiss away the hint of a pout. “A lot,” she said. “I should have said something, but the things Victoria was asking... I wanted to hear the answers too.”

“And?” He struggled to draw a breath, as he waited for a better idea of what Ash was thinking.

“You were right. I don’t need you to fix me, but it’s pretty nice to have you here when I falter. To the point where I feel lost without you, even though it’s only been a few weeks. And I love you, too.”

His breath caught, and his heart slammed against his ribs. How did something so simple sound so incredible? He brushed his lips over hers, memorizing everything from her soft skin to her sweet scent to the tiny gasps that barely reached his ears.

This wasn’t the frantic, denial-filled need of two nights ago. It was more intense. He broke away to search her eyes. “I meant everything I said to Victoria, though I wish I’d said it to you directly. I love you so much, it’s devouring me to have you close, but out of reach. I don’t want to do this being apart thing. I need you.”

“Me too.” Ash laughed. Fuck, he adored that sound. “You know what I mean.”

He cupped her face between his palms and pressed his mouth to hers. It was passion and intensity and tenderness.

“Stop.” She broke away, finger against his lips.

He watched her, brows raised, curiosity flowing through him. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m still not a China doll.” Mischief danced in her eyes.

“I didn’t say you were.”

“You don’t have to treat me like one in the bedroom.”

He didn’t know how to respond to that. “Are you complaining?”

“No. Definitely not.” She traced a line along his chest as she spoke, sending fissures of need across his skin. “But...”

“What?”

She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him through her lashes. “Sometimes a girl just wants to be pinned down and manhandled. Without there having to be a big stressful build-up first.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Hands on her hips, he lifted her further onto the bed. Her squeal of surprise was a jolt of desire tugging at his every nerve ending.

He lay on his side next to her, using his arm to lock hers over her head. The heat of her frame pressed against his made him instantly hard. He hooked his leg over hers.

Mischa dove into a kiss, claiming her mouth and memorizing the way her tongue danced under his. He dropped a free hand to her breast, kneading through her shirt, rolling her nipple between his fingers.

The way she groaned against his kiss was enough to steal his thoughts. Her writhing danced like flames over him.

He kept her restrained, teasing and pinching, until her hips thrust in a steady rhythm. She was panting, her face screwed up in that stunning so close expression that drove him wild.

It took his last threads of self-control not to grind against her hip. To resist stripping off her clothes and plunging inside her. His cock ached for release, straining against its prison.

They had time. Weeks and months and years ahead of them. He didn’t doubt that for a second. But they’d never have this moment again, and he wanted to draw it out a little longer.

He broke all contact with Ash. Her pout reflected his disappointment at the loss in contact, but it wouldn’t last long.

This would be the one and only time they shared their first I love yous and he wanted to paint an epic mural to encase the memory in.