Chapter 9
Cassy
“Hey, Cassy! Hey…”
I snapped out of my thoughts, realizing that I was still holding my cellphone to my ear while fertilizing the crops. Because I’ve gotten quite used to the farm tasks already, I could do most of them on autopilot now.
“Charlene, sorry,” I said over the phone.
“What’s up with you? I’ve been chattering here and you haven’t been responding at all!” Charlene said, an impatient tone creeping into her voice. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “Just didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t work too hard!”
“Yeah, well, I need the bucks,” I said, my mind still whirling with thoughts of Ivan. Naked, dirty thoughts of him. Shit.
As if on cue, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Immediately I turned around with a big smile, my heart beating fast. But it wasn’t him, unfortunately.
“Are you done?” It was one of the younger farmhands. “I need help with the tractor.”
On the other line, I heard a snort from Charlene, followed by peals of laughter.
“Charlene, listen, I gotta go,” I said, ending the call before my best friend could say anything else. As soon as I put the phone down, I faced the guy with an annoyed look. “Where’s Ivan? I don’t know how to operate that machine, Kevin. It’s Ivan and Roy who use it.”
“They’re both not here,” Kevin answered, shrugging. “I know Roy’s on leave, but I don’t know where Ivan is.”
A warning bell sounded in my head. Ivan was almost never late. What was keeping him?
“Where’s Aunt Ellen?” I asked, looking around and seeing that there were only a few farmhands present. Silently I groaned, knowing I’d have to work doubly hard. And more than that, I was greatly disappointed that Ivan had not shown up.
“I think she went to the store to get some stuff,” Kevin answered.
“Well, then, just wait for her or Ivan,” I snapped, my irritation building.
He nodded and scuttled away. I suddenly regretted taking out my anxiety on him. I better just whip up a good snack for these guys later. After all, they had always been patient with me throughout my first week.
I couldn’t believe it had only been a little more than a week since I got here. So much seemed to have happened already. And as I continued working, my mind kept flashing to images of my previous night’s intimate moments with Ivan. It wasn’t just distracting, but the fact that he had not shown up today was triggering an alarm in my head.
Maybe I’m just overreacting, I thought. I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Perhaps he’s just resting because of his knee.
A picture of him on top of me came to mind abruptly. I hoped it hadn’t put a lot of strain on his injury.
The day dragged on. I kept turning around whenever I heard someone coming. One time it was just Aunt Ellen. Several times it was just a car passing by.
Sighing, I resigned myself to more work. The busier I was, the less I would think of him. Or so I thought.
It was actually weird how affected I was. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was really getting bothered by his absence and by not knowing what was going on in his head. And here I thought we were beginning to build a real friendship.
“Cassy, are you feeling fine?” Aunt Ellen asked with concern while I was making sandwiches in the kitchen later that afternoon. She even touched my forehead. “You’re not warm, though. But you look a bit pale.”
“I’m fine,” I answered quietly. I yearned to ask her about Ivan, but I didn’t dare do it. I didn’t even attempt to send him a text message.
“Perhaps you’ve been working too hard under the sun,” Aunt Ellen said. “Let me finish that.”
“No, it’s okay,” I said with a weak smile. “I want to do this for those guys who’ve been very nice and helpful to me.”
Aunt Ellen looked surprised, but then she smiled brightly. “Oh, that’s so sweet of you, Cassy. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it. It’s a shame Ivan’s not here today.”
My heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. What the hell was happening to me? And since she’d already mentioned him, I couldn’t resist the question. “Oh, yeah, where is he?” I asked nonchalantly.
“He’s supposed to be coming in for half-day work only so he can rest his knee more. But he called me earlier to say he can’t make it today. He didn’t sound sick, but he said he had to attend to some important matters.”
“Oh,” was all I could say, wondering if he was just making an excuse.
Carrying a tray of sandwiches and cookies, I headed to the barn where all the present farmhands were packing away the tools and resting.
“Treats for you hardworking men!” I called out cheerfully.
“Wow, thanks, Cassy,” Kevin said shyly. He’d always been quite withdrawn. The other guys beat him to the sandwiches and began munching happily in between their chatter. I joined them for a while, happy about my good deed.
As I leaned on the wall and ate my cookie, I couldn’t help glancing at one particular haystack near the equipment cabinet. I literally had to shake my head to remove the images of the previous night.
Later on after dinner, I sat in front of the old sewing machine in my room, sliding my fingers across every curve and side of it. Glancing at a couple of folded fabrics piled on the floor, the ones that I had bought at The Craft Lady, I pictured a design in my head. It was similar to my Armani dress that the girls had admired.
As the vision took shape, I grabbed my sketch pad and pencils and began drawing. Luckily the lights were bright enough for me to work. I went on to draw and cut out a pattern, not even bothering to look at the time.
Suddenly, I felt like I had been transported back to my condo unit in the city where I’d stashed all of my equipment for fashion design. I had been secretly working on a summer collection of swimsuits and sundresses every time I had the chance--- in other words, when I wasn’t out partying, shopping, or getting drunk.
My passion for fashion had always been my go-to stress therapy. And it had never failed me all these years. It was a shame I had to leave behind my stuff because my dad wouldn’t even let me stop by the condo to grab other things I wanted to bring along. He was probably afraid I had some liquor hidden there.
As I began to cut and sew pieces of the dress, all my worries slipped away. Even thoughts of Ivan faded into oblivion. I was in the zone for hours, not realizing that it was already past midnight when I finished.
My eyes and hands were tired from the day’s tedious work and from tonight’s project, but my spirit was still very much awake. And when I had the finished product in my hands, I held it up to my body and looked at my reflection in the full-length mirror. A smile spread across my lips as I saw my very first masterpiece completed in the town of Burchnell.
“I must buy a mannequin stand,” I murmured thoughtfully. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any more money left until the end of the week.
Frowning, I looked at the dress and thought of selling it in the local shops or on the internet. But then I didn’t even have a good camera with me or a net connection. And from what I’d seen of downtown, there was no Internet shop anywhere.
I would have to ask someone to help me out, which wasn’t an option I was cheerful about. It would be slightly humiliating to borrow a laptop or ask to use someone else’s internet. It would be even worse to have to borrow money. I’ve never done any of these things in my life before. Everything (and more) had always been provided for.
It was certainly discouraging. I slumped to the floor, the finished dress crumpled in my hands. I felt so defeated I wanted to just sleep and forget all about it.