Outside of Chuck's house, the Notus members congregated on the back deck. Erikka sat in the chair in the living room with Clara, Gracie, Ingrid, and Lena holding baby Avi. When she leaned back in the chair, she could barely make out Chuck. He seemed to be pacing because he'd popped in and out of her sight for the last fifteen minutes.

"Avi hasn't made a sound since you took her out of the car seat." Clara stood behind Lena gazing at the baby laying on her mom's shoulder. "Is she always so quiet?"

"Except in the middle of the night." Lena wrinkled her nose. "She's got her days and nights messed up. Thad has to go back to work on Monday, and I keep telling him he might want to sleep in the guest room if he doesn't want to be too tired to work."

"Well, if he's anything like Wayne, he'll shoot down that offer fast." Clara laughed softly, running her finger over the baby's soft head. "God, I think I could stand here all day and watch her sleep."

Ingrid kicked off her shoes and made herself at home on the couch opposite Gracie. "I get to babysit first."

"Who says?" asked Gracie.

Ingrid pointed at Lena. "She promised."

"You know, you could have your own baby and give me time to play with Avi." Gracie leaned away when Ingrid reached out to slap at her. "I'm just saying."

Ingrid sighed. "We've talked about trying for a family, but with helping mom with dad's care and working at Pauly's, adding one more thing to our busy schedule overwhelms me. Maybe next year."

"How is your dad doing?" asked Gracie.

"The same. Considering he's hanging in there past the time the doctor gave him, we take each day as it comes and be thankful he's still with us." Ingrid tucked her short hair behind her ears. "Of course, my mom is great at faking her cheerfulness for my sake. I worry about her...about what will happen afterward."

"We will all be here and help in any way we can." Gracie exhaled and looked at her phone. "How long is this meeting going to last? Maybe I should start texting them to hurry. I'm starving, and if we're all going over to Vavoom's, I want to get there before the crowd, so I don't have to put on an apron and help out."

Clara moved away from the baby and sat on the hearth of the fireplace. "It shouldn't be too long."

Erikka looked toward the sliding glass door. Chuck was out of sight. He hadn't mentioned what was going on, only told her he had club business and everyone was coming over to the house. Every time one of the women mentioned something about the men, they clammed up as if they understood what was going on. That left her as the clueless, oddball in the group. Apparently, the information couldn't be shared.

Since Chuck already stated they weren't getting together to discuss Rachel's case, but club business, she had little interest in what was happening.

"How are you doing, Erikka?" asked Clara.

She turned and gave a weak smile. "I'm hanging in there."

"I bet the days go slow for you. Does it help that your work keeps you busy or does that complicate things?" Clara waved her hand in dismissal. "I'm only curious. You don't need to answer if you don't want to."

"I'm not working anymore." She slid her hands between her thighs. "I gave my cases over to an associate in the business for the time being, and I'm trying to concentrate all my energy on Rachel."

"How long can you take off?" asked Lena, swaying side to side with the baby.

"Until Rachel comes home." She inhaled deeply. "After that, I'll be looking for a job."

"I imagine you'll have to start building your clientele back up." Clara looked around the room. "I don't know much about the bonds business, but I'm assuming you only have clients for a short time, so it makes sense that you'd have to look for more once your sister comes back."

"It doesn't work exactly like that, but I mean, I'll need to find a new job." Erikka lifted her hand and pointed toward the other side of the house where the Notus members were meeting. "I promised Notus the building and business if they'd help me."

The women looked at each other. Erikka moistened her lips. From their reaction, they hadn't known what their men agreed to. "Not everything has been worked out yet, though."

She wouldn't have mentioned anything if she knew they weren't privy to the information. All of them seemed close to the men, she just figured they'd know.

"Oh, man." Gracie tilted her head. "So, you're here alone during the day?"

She nodded. "Just when Chuck's at work."

"You can always come to Vavoom's and stay with Clara and me. Our schedule is pretty open during the week so you could set the hours you want to come over, and we can pick you up and drop you off." Gracie smiled. "You can even bus tables if you want to keep busy."

The last thing she wanted to do was be stuck at a bar, making polite conversation with Gracie, and avoiding anything that had to do with Chuck so the other woman wouldn't think about him. "That's kind of you to offer, but I'm fine here."

"You're sure?" asked Gracie.

Positive. Chuck was her man. She wanted to remain close to the house in case he called with any news.

She smiled. "Yes, but thank you for the offer."

The sliding door opened and the men strolled into the living room, filling the small area to capacity. She happened to be watching Wayne as he caught sight of Clara and witnessed his troubled gaze soften. The love coming from him made Erikka's throat close. She wanted that kind of love.

The women gathered around the men while Lena hooked the baby into the car seat. She'd been around them all before and knew that conversations usually flowed easily. Not today. None of the men talked.

She stood and stepped toward the dining room, and Wayne touched her arm. "Give him a few minutes, okay?"

Not understanding why Chuck wouldn't come in, she could only agree and play hostess, even though it wasn't her house, and open the door for them. Holding onto the doorknob, she stepped back to close the door when Gracie hurried toward her coming from the dining room. Her skin prickled. So, it was okay for Gracie to see Chuck, but she was asked to stay away and give him time for some unknown reason?

Gracie paused beside her. "Go to him."

She narrowed her eyes. The constant advice from Gracie was getting old. She'd made it through the visit without being rude. But she wanted to go to Chuck, and Gracie stopping her and giving her advice pushed all her patience away.

"Look, Erikka, I know how you feel about me, but right now Chuck needs you." Gracie looked over her shoulder. "You're the only one who can help him."

She raised her chin, hating how Gracie always made her feel inferior when it came to being in Chuck's life.

"Out of all of them, Chuck will take the news the hardest, but he has you now to support him. I know you have a lot going on and no energy for anyone else, and that's understandable, but if you care about him, go to him." Gracie looked down at her hands. "He won't talk with the other men. He'll just bottle it up inside."

Her neck snapped back. Before she could ask what the problem was, she found herself alone at the door staring after Gracie and feeling as if a truck had run over her.

Throwing the lock, she walked through the house to the sliding glass door. She stopped. Chuck sat at the end of the bench next to the picnic table, his elbows on his knees, his head hanging between his arms. The gentle slope of his shoulders warned her that Gracie was right. Something was wrong, and it had nothing to do with Rachel.

Had she been so caught up in her problems that she'd missed something else going on in Chuck's life?

She slid the door open quietly and walked to him. Sitting behind him, she refrained from touching him and silently gave him support.

Chuck sniffed, growled, and straightened. Taking that as a sign he was aware she was with him, she placed her hand on his back. A shudder rolled through him, and he rubbed his head. She could almost taste the despair coming from him. Always, no matter how she reacted, Chuck remained a constant rock of strength for her. To see him bothered by something worried her. Whatever it was must be huge and the news bad.

A guttural noise came from Chuck, and he rushed to stand, grabbing the picnic table and upending it. She jumped out of the way, shocked at the violent reaction.

Chuck grabbed his head and turned his back to her. But not before she caught his red-rimmed eyes. It was the proof of his upset that spurred her forward.

"What's wrong," she whispered, planting her hands on his stomach.

He reeled backward, rocking to the heels of his boots. She stepped forward, refusing to let him walk away to suffer alone. He'd been by her side through everything, and she would be there for him.

"Chuck?" She tried to cup his face, but he jerked his head out of her grasp. "Honey, talk to me. You're scaring me."

His body went stiff, and he held his arms out to the sides. "Not going to hurt you," he said, in a rough, emotionally charged tone.

"I know that." She stepped up to him again. "What's wrong?"

His mouth tightened, and he shook his head, running his arm underneath his nose. Then, his eyes scrunched closed, and his brow lowered as he dropped to his knees in the grass. She kneeled down beside him.

His fists planted on his thighs, he trembled in anguish. She rubbed his neck and kept one hand on his arm, letting him know she was here. Her heart raced, and she wanted to comfort him and take away his pain.

"This is my fault," he whispered low.

"Sh." She stroked the back of his head, knowing he liked the caress when he was trying to relax and go to sleep. "I'm here."

"He never would've left if I would've kept my fucking mouth shut." Chuck punched his thigh. "Now, he could be dead, and I might as well have put the bullet in his head and set him on fire myself."

She grabbed him, keeping him from getting up, proving that he'd worn himself out because she stopped him. If she let him go, she'd lose him. How she knew that, she had no idea, but it was there crushing in on her.

"Wayne, Glen, and Thad just left. They're okay," she whispered, not knowing who he was talking about. "They're probably at home by now."

"He should be here with us." Chuck grabbed the top of his head and shouted, "Fuck."

She had to do something. Knowing he had no family but Notus, he must be talking about one of the members. "Honey, let me call Wayne for you. You can see that he's okay."

"It's not Wayne." He let his head fall back as if he looked into the sky. "It's Rich."

Rich? She hadn't met anyone with that name.

Not knowing what to say, she leaned into him and snaked her hand between his stomach and vest. Her knuckles bumped his stash of cigars. She pulled one out.

"Hey, honey, why don't you smoke a cigar." She put it in his hand. He needed something to concentrate on and relax.

Out of habit, he leaned to the side and reached into his pocket, removing his cutter. Snipping off the end, he put the stogie in his mouth. Without hesitating, he thumbed his lighter and lit the end, puffing away.

Erikka sat down on her butt in the grass, keeping her hand on his lower back. They sat together while Chuck smoked. After several minutes, he shifted and plopped down beside her, stretching his legs out in front of him and wrapped an arm around her, bringing her to his side.

That was her Chuck. Always thinking of her.

"We all grew up together." He cleared his throat. "Wayne walked across the street by himself when he was six years old and asked Thad to play. Together, they found me, Glen, and Rich. We all lived on the same block and were the same age. From that day forward, we were inseparable. You couldn't tell who lived where because we were always running from one house to the other until bedtime."

She had no idea about his past with the members of Notus or the man he called Rich. She hadn't met him.

"When we were in high school, we worked in the summer doing odd jobs, and by the time we were sixteen, we had each bought a hunk of shit metal that resembled a motorcycle and spent the next two years getting each one to run." He pulled her head down onto his lap, stroked her hair, and took a puff from his cigar. "Man, we went through everything together. Shared the same girls, got drunk together and made plans to start our own motorcycle club. We were so fucking young, but we knew what we wanted back then."

"That's how Notus started?" She turned to her back and looked up at him.

He stared off into the distance, caught up in his memories. "Yeah, it took going to the head MC for the NW territory and asking permission to branch off under our own patch, but we did it. We swore that we'd be together forever. And, then Thalia was killed."

She gasped, not expecting the sweet story to end in horror. "That's the baby's—"

"Yeah, it's Avi's middle name. Thalia would've been her aunt. She was Thad's younger sister and in love with Rich." He inhaled deeply. "If I say Thalia was in love, it only means that Rich was more in love. He was solid and knew Thalia was it for him. He loved her more than life. He couldn't go a fucking hour without seeing her and practically lived at Mr. and Mrs. B's house. When she was kidnapped, everyone's fingers pointed at Rich. He was a troublemaker. Long hair, tats, leather vest, and riding a Harley. He was profiled by the time the police took a report of Thalia missing."

Erikka swallowed.

"All Rich wanted to do was find Thalia, and about a week later the cops found her body. She'd been raped and murdered. She was only nineteen years old."

"Oh, my God," she murmured.

"We were twenty, almost twenty-one years old, at the time." He shook his head. "We all dealt with the murder in our own way, but Rich was lost. He pulled away, from all of us, and it made me mad. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing or how to handle anything, but I confronted him one night and basically told him to pull his head out of his ass and that Thalia wouldn't want him to give up his life. I'm sure I said more that I can't remember. Rich never spoke a word while I went off on him. He stood there and took every angry word I threw at him until I got frustrated and punched him. At least then he fought back. I got a reaction out of him and saw the first spark of life in him. I don't know how long the fight lasted or who finished it. We both crawled home, beat to shit, with nothing solved. The next morning, Rich was gone. He'd taken his motorcycle and left St. John's. Left his mom. Left Notus. Left me. He's been missing ever since. Twenty-five fucking years."

She reached up and stroked his jaw. "You were young."

He cleared his throat and stubbed his cigar in the grass. "Wayne called a meeting today because a John Doe had been found up in Idaho wearing a vest. It could be Rich."

She scrambled to sit up. "Oh, Chuck, I—"

"Don't." He leaned forward and kissed her hard. "I'll carry my responsibility for him leaving. It's not yours. It's not any other member of Notus's job. It's on me."

She ducked her chin, disagreeing with him. He had been a boy, barely a man. He fought with Rich because he cared and had no other way to show him how much he loved his friend.

"Wayne's supposed to call us later. The sheriff's office is going to send over a picture of the John Doe...what's recognizable. I'll know soon." He pushed to his feet and lifted her up. "Let's go inside."

She wrapped her arm around his back and walked with him. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You're doing it." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "You're here."

She swallowed hard. It hadn't been her who knew what was going on with him. Gracie was the one who had the knowledge and history of what Chuck was going through. She had also known what Chuck needed.