Owen couldn’t believe his fucking eyes―Brody Walker, in his backyard, talking with Jonah. This had to be some kind of fucked up joke, right? Then he saw the cabinet doors behind them, and Jonah looking back and forth between Owen and Brody, clearly confused.
Jonah finally asked, “What’s going on here? You two know each oth―oh no, is this...?”
Owen could see the light switch on in Jonah’s mind. He had no idea who he’d hired. “Yup,” Owen said to Jonah, never taking his eyes off of Brody. His next words left his mouth like a dagger, aimed right at that asshole. “Gonna be a problem for you now, huh? Didn’t know you were hired to remodel a fag’s house?”
“Owen!” Jonah looked at him like he’d lost his damn mind.
But Owen just ignored him and plowed on. “What the hell did you come back for anyway?” He could hear the malicious words come out of his mouth, but damned if he could stop them. He refused let his mind react when he saw Brody wince. If there was ever a time he needed to be strong, it was right now. Owen didn’t have a choice in high school. He had to see them every day, deal with the harassment and physical abuse every goddamn day, but this, he had a say in. “If you think you’ve still got the job, you’ve got to be out of your fucking mind.”
“Owen, he does good work. I saw the pic―” Jonah started to explain, but Owen still wasn’t having it. He knew Jonah all too well. Jonah wanted to see the good in everyone. Hell, it was how he’d gotten through to Owen to begin with, and he admired him for it. But this was where Owen needed to draw the line.
Looking at Jonah, Owen snapped, “I don’t give a shit what kind of work he does. I will not have someone judging me in my own goddamn home!” Turning back to Brody, he refused to let himself believe that he saw pain in Brody’s eyes. “We’ll pay you for whatever work you did this morning, but that’s it. Get your shit―” At the sound of Jonah’s gasp, Owen’s eyes landed on him for a second, but it was long enough to see the embarrassment in Jonah’s eyes. Owen closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at Brody. “Please clean up your things and leave. You can bill us for whatever work you’ve already done.”
Brody hung his head, a look of defeat on his face, and nodded in understanding. Owen refused to look at Jonah during the awkward moments that Brody cleaned up his tools. Owen was standing his ground on this one, and one look at Jonah would make him second-guess himself. As Brody walked by Owen, he stopped right next to him. He was close enough for Owen to smell the woodsy scent of his cologne, and Owen silently scolded himself for being completely fucked up. Owen refused to make eye contact, looking straight ahead in a firm stance that meant he wasn’t backing down, as Brody softly said, “I get it. You have every right to feel the way you do. I was an asshole, but I’m not that guy anymore. Fuck, I wasn’t even that guy then, I just didn’t have the balls to admit it.”
Owen looked over at Brody, saw the tension in his jaw, and he tried not to feel sympathy for the guy. It pissed him the fuck off when he felt his resistance faltering.
Brody met his eyes, and the anguish in his voice was staggering. “I truly am sorry, Owen. I know I made your life hell, but you should know my life wasn’t without demons. I should’ve handled it differently. I know that now.”
Owen turned his head away and waited for Brody to leave, hearing the front door close. Owen saw Jonah staring at him, confusion and disappointment creasing his brow. “Don’t. I don’t want to hear it,” Owen warned.
But Jonah apparently didn’t care. “I have never seen you be that cold-hearted to someone. That’s not like you.”
“I can’t believe you hired him,” Owen shot back.
“I didn’t know he was the same guy! What am I, fucking psychic, Owen? You never told me his name. Besides, I never would’ve guessed it was him because that guy has been nothing but nice.” Jonah walked to stand in front of Owen, anger radiating off him—which was totally unlike Jonah. “You want to know why he moved back?”
Owen rolled his eyes. “No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
Jonah took another small step closer to Owen, his expression changing to one of concern. “His mother is dying, Owen. Brody moved back here to be with her in the last months of her life.”
Just like that, Owen’s resistance crumbled, shame washed over him at the harsh words he said out of bottled-up anger. What the hell did you come back for anyway? “Fuck.” Owen hung his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. He vaguely remembered hearing that around town. He could feel the headache coming on already.
“Yeah,” Jonah agreed. “People change, Owen. You’re not that scared, quiet kid you were back then. Maybe he’s not that asshole anymore, either.” Jonah squeezed Owen’s arm and his eyes and voice softened. “I know it was hard for you. I’m not saying you have to be friends with the guy, but he could really use this job. I’d never make you do anything you were uncomfortable with, you know that. But would you consider giving him a chance?”
It was one of the things Owen loved about Jonah, something that would never change, despite the demise of their romantic relationship. Jonah had the biggest heart of anyone he’d ever met. He was sure it was Jonah who won most of the town over when they’d moved here. There wasn’t a favor he wouldn’t do; a person he wouldn’t help. Owen didn’t doubt for a minute that, if it were Jonah in his shoes, he would do his best to move past it—to forgive. Owen wasn’t sure he could be that guy.
“I’m sorry, Jonah. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I was just caught off guard.” Owen squeezed the back of his neck, feeling the tension. “Look, I’ll think about it, but I’m not making any promises.” It was the best he could do, because his decision at that moment was still no.
Jonah nodded and kissed Owen on the cheek. “That’s all I ask. I’m going to get ready for work. I have an appointment at three with a new client, and I want to get my own workout in before he gets there. You gonna be okay?” It was typical of Jonah to be concerned about him, even though he was also still disappointed in him.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Owen released a heavy sigh.
Jonah nodded and walked into the house, leaving Owen outside to stew in his own guilt. He tried convincing himself he’d overreacted, but there were too many memories, too much pain from the past battling the doubt in his mind. For the second time in two days, he found himself back in his bedroom, in his bed, exhausted, with thoughts of Brody spinning in his mind.
He didn’t want to feel sorry for Brody, but he did. He didn’t want to think about the remorse in those big, sad, brown eyes...
But he did.
Owen draped an arm over his face, hoping to just fall asleep and escape it all, at least for a few hours. The problem was he’d put all that shit to the back of his mind a long time ago. After the first time seeing Brody again, it all came flooding back. Every gay slur spit at him, every bruise, every embarrassing moment rose to the surface. The difference this time was, he could fight back now. He was bigger, stronger, and this time it would be a fair fight instead of four meatheads against one small kid.
He jumped when his phone rang and vibrated on his nightstand. Smiling when he looked at the screen, he answered, “Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, hon. I called the bakery, but they said you went home early. Are you feeling okay?” She sounded worried, but she always worried about him.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Came home to meet the new contractor for the kitchen, but it’s not going to work out.” Even as the words came out, he wasn’t sure if that was his final decision.
“Why? What happened?”
Other than Jonah and Leslie, his mom was the only person who he could be completely honest with. Not just because it was easy to be open with them, but because he loved them too much to lie to them.
“Mom, remember back in high school...the shit I went through?” His mom cleared her throat and he laughed. “I mean, the stuff I went through...with those guys?”
“I remember.” Her voice was soft, soothing his stressful thoughts.
Owen scrubbed a hand over his face and let out a heavy breath. “The contractor today was one of them.”
“He had a problem with you being gay?” Now her voice had that don’t-fuck-with-my-baby tone it always had when she thought Owen was being mistreated.
“No― Yes, I mean...it was literally one of them. Brody Walker.”
“Oh, I see.” Her silence after those three words was deafening.
“Okay, spit it out, Mom. You’re too quiet.” Owen sat up in his bed, leaning back against the headboard, and waited.
She sighed and said, “Oh, Owen, I know you had a tough time there in high school.”
“That’s an understatement, Mom.” Now he was getting defensive.
“I know, I know. I’m not trying to lessen what you went through. It’s just that…”
When she didn’t finish, he repeated, “It’s just that...?”
“Well, honey, about a month back, I overheard Jane and Evelyn talking in the office about Kathy Walker, Brody’s mom.” She paused, but Owen knew where this was going. “It doesn’t sound like she has much time left. It’s lung cancer, from what I hear.”
“I know, I heard.” But how the hell had he forgotten earlier? He knew the answer; his head was still pounding from the anger he’d felt. “But what does that have to do with me hiring Brody?”
“Owen, I know I raised you better than that.” He hated when he was the reason for disappointment in her voice. First Jonah, and now his mom—he was on a roll. His mom responded, “You know, all too well, unfortunately, what it’s like to lose a parent. Did you know Brody’s father left her about two years ago? I can tell you, that man was a bastard.”
“Mom!” Owen laughed, never hearing that word come out of his mom’s mouth before.
“Well, he was,” she said, unfazed. “Anyway, I don’t think Brody’s life at home was great. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the reason he left to begin with.”
Ugh, and there was the guilt again, crawling its way up his chest as he said, “Okay, Mom, enough build up.”
“I don’t know if he has anyone to talk to, honey. Working will probably be an opportunity to get his mind off things for a little while every day. Don’t you remember what you did the summer your dad got sick?”
Owen hadn’t thought about that in years, but the memory came back pretty quickly. “Yeah, I started mowing lawns.” It was an escape. A chance to get out of the house and, just for an afternoon, forget his dad was sick. Fuck—probably the same thing Brody was trying to do.
“It didn’t change the inevitable, but it gave you something to do. You’re a stronger man than you used to be, Owen. You’ll make the right decision.” In a gentle voice, she said, “No one can make you feel small if you don’t let them.”
He closed his eyes and smiled. Somehow, she always had a way of calming him down. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, hon. Are you still coming for dinner on Sunday? Leslie will be here, and your Aunt Laurie is making roast chicken.”
“Yeah, we’ll be there. Any special requests?”
“Oh, you know I love everything you make.”
“I’ll bring over one of our new ones, chocolate chip blueberry muffins. Sold like hot cakes yesterday.” Go figure.
“Sounds good, honey. Oh, and a few chocolate croissants and some biscotti?”
“You got it.”
After the phone call ended, Owen lay there for a couple hours thinking over everything his mom said. Truth was, he didn’t have to be friends with Brody. He didn’t even have to talk to him. Jonah could handle all of the design questions, and the house was big enough that he could avoid Brody for the few hours they would be there at the same time. Besides, it would make him look like the bigger man and maybe show Brody that they didn’t break him all those years ago. He was successful, in excellent shape—and for all Brody knew—in a happy relationship.
Groaning, he knew he’d come to a decision. Even though he wanted Jonah to deal with him, Owen still felt like he owed Brody an apology. Losing a parent was hard on anyone, and he had an idea what Brody was going through. Dragging himself out of bed, he called Jonah.
“Hey, what’s up?” Jonah asked, picking up after the first ring.
“Okay, so I talked to my mom.” Owen grabbed his jeans off of the floor and put them on. Then pulled his shirt over his head.
“And?”
Owen hung his head, shut his eyes and said, “And I’ll give Brody a chance. But I’m telling you right now, one homophobic insult out of him, and he’s out.” He walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs.
“Sounds fair,” Jonah replied.
“I’ll let him know. Is he staying at his mom’s house?” Owen was already walking out the door to his car. He wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
“He’s renting the room above Max’s.” Jonah paused then said, “I’m proud of you, Owen.”
“Yeah, yeah.” They both laughed, and Owen said, “I’m going over there now. I’ll let him know he has the job, but from here on out, you’re the one that’s dealing with him.”
“Fair enough. See ya when I get home.”
“Okay.” Owen hung up the phone and started to drive. He managed to stretch the five minute drive into a ten minute one, circling the neighborhood while he got the balls to do this. He didn’t know if it made him an idiot, but he couldn’t let things go the way they were. He hated to make Brody think, for even one minute, he couldn’t handle the situation. He could do this, right? Deciding he’d procrastinated enough, Owen pulled up in front of Max’s. He sat in his car for a minute. Was he about to make the worst mistake of his life? The light was on in the window above the diner, so he knew Brody was there. “Just get it over with, Owen,” he said, trying to give himself a pep talk. He got out of the car and walked up the steps on the side of the building. Now or never, Owen.
Owen knocked on the door and could hear shuffling coming from inside. Then a muffled voice yelled, “Just a second!” Before Owen could retreat, Brody opened the door.
Holy fuck.
The guy was a Calvin Klein ad come to life. Owen’s mouth went dry, taking in the scene before him. All Brody had on was a pair of jeans, the top button unbuttoned with the waistband of his briefs sticking out. Owen’s eyes scanned Brody’s long, smooth, tanned torso―proof that the guy worked out. A lot. His damp, brown hair was tucked behind his ears. Owen guessed he’d just gotten out of the shower.
What the hell was he there for again?