Just Looking

(Mason)

She thought I crossed the line. To me, I simply put my foot against it and gave a twist. Even still, I kept my distance. It was better off. I almost grabbed her to keep her from going. And that was after chasing her through my apartment. What was that about? I did it without even realizing it.

That wasn’t my style.

So I kept my distance and let the days and nights blur together.

The shop was busy as ever. We had two motorcycles go out, big priced ones at that, and had three more come in. I had design meetings with Hunter and my boys. We talked, argued, I fired them all, and then I bought them a round of whiskey at the local dive bar, hiring them back for the next day. That was just usual shit for me.

I rode my motorcycle up into the mountains one afternoon, just killing the time that was given to me. Sometimes I felt guilty for that. All this time for me to waste. Some people weren’t that lucky.

Once that real shit started to sink into me, I turned around and went back to the shop.

Hunter was in Dicky’s office, going over a design.

“There’s my second favorite dick,” I said, knocking on the door.

Dicky turned and threw me the middle finger.

“What are you up to?” I asked.

“Going over the Levly design,” Hunter said. “Trying to figure out the right flame…”

“I thought we did that yesterday,” I said.

“We did,” Dicky said. “But it doesn’t work. When you look at it on the frame…”

“This was a decision I made,” I said. “I didn’t ask for an opinion.”

“Take it easy,” Hunter said. He stood up. “The flames don’t have the right look on the chrome.”

“Then it’s a design problem,” I said. “Maybe we should hire out for this one.”

“Whoa,” Dicky said. “Chill, boss. This shit happens all the time.”

“You fuck up your job all the time?” I asked.

“I didn’t fuck anything up.”

“Mason,” Hunter said. “Jesus, man.”

“No,” I said. “I want this out of the shop by next Friday. We can’t sit here and twiddle our thumbs. I’ve got emails out the ass looking for quotes on the designs. And we’re second guessing something that was already decided?”

“It doesn’t look good,” Dicky said.

“Right now, you don’t look good,” I said.

Dicky turned and faced me. Yeah, there was a good five feet separating us, but he was in fight mode. And so was I.

“Mason, let’s take a walk here,” Hunter said.

He was bold enough to put a hand to my chest. Anyone else did it, I’d break their fucking wrist and not think twice.

“Now,” Hunter said and gave me a shove.

He slammed Dicky’s door.

“What?” I asked.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Hunter spat. “Dicky has been with us since day fucking one. Worked on consignment. Jesus, Mason. Didn’t get your dick sucked last night?”

“Eat shit, Hunter,” I said.

I started to walk and he grabbed me. I spun and took a handful of his shirt and put him against the wall. The thud was like thunder and quickly attracted attention.

“This is my fucking company,” I said. “Got that?”

“And I started it with you,” Hunter said. “Take your bad mood and go somewhere else. Hit the gym. Hit the bar. Find some whore. Don’t come here and fuck this place up. Keep your sabotage to yourself.”

“I want to knock you out right now, Hunter.”

“Because I’m right,” Hunter said.

Andy and Thorn were grabbing for me. Hooking their arms into mine.

“Come on, come on,” Andy said. “Everyone get a smoke or something here.”

“Get that design done,” I said. “Get that motorcycle done.”

Hunter saluted me. “Aye aye, captain.”

I broke away from the guys and walked through the large open garage bay. Everyone was staring at me. I felt like firing them all and burning the fucking place to the ground.

“Get back to work!” I bellowed.

Everyone moved at once.

I stepped outside and stood in the lot. There were motorcycles everywhere. This was my empire. Behind me the massive garage bays and warehouse. The sign above me. Everything I busted my ass for.

I felt like the foundation was rocky. Cracking. Or maybe that was just inside me.

Hunter stepped up next to me.

“Calm yet?”

“No.”

“Go home then.”

“I don’t fucking want to.”

“Thinking about her, aren’t you?”

“Fuck yourself, Hunter.”

He patted me on the back. “Sorry, brother. If you need to talk, I’m here.”

He walked away.

Fuck him. Fuck RN Custom Rides.

Yeah, maybe I did want to talk.

There was one person in mind.

I had to find a way to break this tie to Violet once and for all.

* * *

I caught her in the hallway on the phone.

“It was a nice place,” she said. “A little small, but that doesn’t matter. Closer to the city, too. Kind of nice, you know? I could…”

Her eyes met mine as I stood in the hallway.

I was merely just trying to get into my apartment. That was about it. Then I heard her. Then I saw her. So now I waited.

“I could stand at the window and look at the lights,” she said. “At least I won’t be distracted.”

I didn’t make a move.

She stood at her door with her keys in her hand.

“You know what, Victoria, I have to let you go,” Violet said. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

She ended the call and jammed her key into the door.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“Snooping on me again?” she threw back.

“Just going to my place,” I said. “Sounds like you were maybe looking for a new place.”

“Just looking,” she said. “I need something new.”

“You just moved in here.”

“Luckily I didn’t sign a long term lease.”

“So you’re going to carry two rent payments? Just to avoid me?”

“Look at the impact you have on the world, Mason.”

“That’s bullshit,” I said.

“Goodnight.”

She opened the door and I went after her. I didn’t break the threshold of her apartment. She didn’t slam the door on me either.

“Mason…”

“Someone really got to you,” I said. “And it wasn’t me. You’re mad at me because I caught you snooping and called you out. You spent a fucking Friday night sitting on your damn couch, drinking wine, snooping on some guy’s profile. Who’s the sad one now?”

“The guy standing at my door,” she said. “Why do you care so much?”

“You know what, Violet? I don’t fucking know. But I do care.”

The corners of her mouth moved like she wanted to smile. She fought it off.

“So you want to hear the story about my ex?” she asked.

“So he was an ex?”

“What does that mean?”

“You could have been obsessed. Thinking he’d eventually want you, but never did.”

“Wow, you seem to have experience in that,” Violet cut at me.

I took the slice, but I didn’t let her see that it made me bleed.

“I just observe,” I said. “Part of my job.”

“How’s that?”

“I see the way people dress, act, talk. The stories they tell and how they tell it. I take clues from all that shit and turn it into the motorcycle of their dreams.”

“Wow,” Violet said for a second time. “So you’re like a detective.”

“Sure,” I said. “Now I need to solve this case with you, Violet.”

“What if I tell you no? Tell you to fuck off? Take that apartment that I found? It was really nice, Mason. A little bit more than this place, but I could afford it.”

I stepped into her apartment, breaking the threshold. “Babe, if you wanted that place, you would have taken it. I bet you didn’t ask your friend for opinions on this apartment, did you?”

I had her caught and backed into a corner.

“I think I’m starting to hate myself as much as I hate you,” she said.

She side stepped, telling me I was allowed inside.

I reached up and touched her chin. “That’s impossible. Nobody hates me more.”

“You want a drink or something?” she asked.

“Beer?”

“Wine.”

“Then I’ll pass. Thanks.”

She went to the kitchen and wasted no time pouring herself a glass. I stood at the counter and watched the way she moved through the kitchen. When she reached for a glass, her shirt pulled up, showing skin. My hands have been all over that skin. My lips. My tongue.

My cock pressed at the inside of my jeans.

Shit.

“Rough day?” I asked.

“Yours seems worse,” she said.

“How so?”

“You look like shit.”

I laughed. “Long day at the shop. Thought about firing everyone.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I’ve done it before.”

“Your own employees?”

“They don’t listen, they get fired. It’s a business, not a fucking frat house.”

“Good to know I’m not the only one you treat like shit,” Violet said.

That one hurt. Treating her like shit?

Violet took a sip of wine and then leaned against the counter. It was the only thing that kept us apart.

“So… anything else you’d like to snoop at while you’re here?” she asked.

“I think I covered my bases,” I said. “I checked your fridge. I checked your bathroom. I got a pair of your panties. And I saw your laptop.”

“Maybe I should go through your place,” she said.

“You had your chance when I left the door open,” I said. “Even still…” I reached into my pocket and took out my keys. Then dropped them to the counter. “Have at it.”

Then there was silence.

“His name’s Davis,” she said.

“David?”

“Davis. With a s.”

“Davis. Sounds like a last name.”

“Does that matter?”

“Stupid name,” I said.

“He was my first love,” she said. “My first everything.”

“Not everything,” I winked.

“Mason…”

I put my hands up. “Sorry.”

“He was the perfect good guy, you know? And, uh, I was the perfect good girl. His parents were good people. My parents were good people. They actually got along. It was a little weird. Our parents would get together and we’d be alone. I mean, for some people that would be perfect. An ideal situation. Not for me though. I mean, we, you know, did our stuff. I’m not a prude. When it came to that, I just didn’t want to. There were some people in high school that got pregnant. I don’t know why I didn’t want to. I just didn’t. It wasn’t a problem, at least at first. Then Davis started to become more and more popular. There were offers, if you know what that means. Suddenly, him being the football virgin made him the hottest guy in the world. Next thing I knew high school was coming to an end. We were going to go to college together. The situation never went away though. Instead of talking, it became this… sales pitch.”

“Sales pitch?” I asked.

“Yeah. He would pitch himself at me. Like he was giving me all the reasons why I should let him fuck me. It just got to be this swirl of pressure. Every time we kissed or touched… it was just implied it had to happen soon. Part of me just wanted a breather. Wanted to figure out what we were going to do and then go from there. I know you don’t get this, Mason. You just jump into bed…”

I reached across the counter and touched her hand. What the fuck are you doing? “No, Violet. You were sticking up for yourself. I respect that.”

She swallowed hard. “Wow, I didn’t expect that.”

“Keep going.”

“Davis finally told me I had to make a choice. I was dumb enough to accept that. Putting my virginity on the line to keep him happy? I was going to do it, too. I was going to just give in and let it happen. Then I found out he went to visit our college and had sex with someone.”

“Fuck,” I said.

“Yeah. Fuck.”

“That’s dirty.”

“Very,” she said. “I switched colleges. I met Victoria. And the rest is history.”

“Except you searching for him online.”

She looked away. “I blamed myself. He blamed me. That’s sort of how it all ended.”

“He blamed you?”

“Was he wrong?” she asked. “I mean, truthfully. Maybe I was stringing him along. Maybe I was just afraid. I don’t know.”

“That wasn’t the first time you looked him up.”

“No. But it was the first time I saw him engaged.”

“And that hurts you.”

“He settled for someone,” she said. “Just not me.”

Now that was some real shit right there. Really real shit. Deeper than I was used to being involved with.

I took my hand from hers, not wanting to send the wrong message. I slowly reached for my keys. I needed to make my exit.

I started to back away, unsure of what the fuck I was actually feeling at that moment.

If Violet was smart she would have let me go.

Instead, she ran around the counter after me.

“Mason, what are you doing?”

“I’m not that guy.”

“What guy?”

“I’m not a replacement,” I said.

“Who said…”

I had one hand on the doorknob. I looked back at her. “I’m not him. I won’t be him. If you need me to take that sting away, then I’m your man. I’ll fuck you until you can’t remember who you are. Until you can’t remember who he is. Anything after that… not a chance.”

Her mouth fell open, in shock.

But then something really fucked up happened.

She closed her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes. “I know why you care.”

“Oh yeah, babe? Why’s that?”

“Because the same thing happened to you.”

Just like that… she fucking figured everything out about me.