He seemed to be the kind of guy who preferred the quiet, and even though Shawn wasn’t, he still tried not litter their walk with nervous chatter. Edwin buried his hands in his pockets, peering up at the nearly-full moon in the night sky. “You don’t see the stars while in the city,” he said. “I’ll admit, I miss that.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” Shawn said. He carried the guitar by his side, arm swinging on occasion with his gaze lifting heavenward long enough for him to observe what Edwin probably saw. “It’s the haze of all these lights. If not for a few camping trips when I was a Boy Scout, I wouldn’t believe stars were real.”

Edwin chuckled. As they paused at the intersection, waiting for the light to change, the two exchanged a glance. “You were a Boy Scout?”

“Oh yeah. Tenderfoot before I quit.” Shawn grinned. “Don’t I look like the Boy Scout type?”

“Usually most people don’t admit if they are.”

“I seem to be one of those weird people who had a normal life, growing up. Decent grades in school. Supportive parents who didn’t lose their heads when I told them I was gay.” The admission alone made his heart flutter, like the first hand played in what promised to be an intense game. He adjusted the strap of his backpack when a shrug dislodged it. “I have two little sisters, and everyone lives scattered around the city.”

Nodding, Edwin neither rebuffed the admission, nor offered anything in response. The light changed and they crossed the street, headed south and deeper into Rittenhouse. Shawn admired the storefronts they passed, unable to convince himself he was on a date, but nervous enough to almost fool himself. “You said you’re from Lancaster,” Shawn said. “You have any other family besides your parents?”

“I have cousins,” Edwin said. “Aunts and uncles, but I was an only child.”

“What do your folks do?”

Edwin hesitated. “My father’s a carpenter. My mother’s a homemaker. She takes care of others in the community since she doesn’t have a child to raise anymore.” He looked at Shawn and winked.

Shawn wondered if something as simple as a wink could make a person melt. “I’m picturing something very apple pie Americana. Farm stands. Everyone knows each other’s name, and church on Sundays?”

The way Edwin barked a laugh made Shawn laugh, too. “Two out of three. Not church, at least not in the way you’re probably assuming.” His expression shifted into something more devious when Shawn looked up at him. “Would you believe that we’re Pagan?”

“Pagan? Now, I need to hear this.” Shawn slowed and stopped in front of a sandwich shop which offered later hours, gesturing at the building when the lights appeared to still be on. “Hope this is okay. There are other places near here, but they’re not worth what they charge this time of night.”

Edwin gave it an appraising look and nodded, lips pursed. “This looks good.” When he looked back at Shawn, a small, but genuine, curl of his lips made his expression almost seem to glow. “I’ll explain while we eat.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Walking up to the door, Shawn tugged on the handle, grateful when it opened and allowed the two men to enter. A girl working the counter straightened her posture, putting away a phone she had out, and poised herself for receiving whatever Shawn and Edwin ordered. Once they’d placed their requests and paid for their food, they took the coffees they’d also purchased to a table, alone except for the girl at the counter.

Shawn lowered his things onto the floor and settled into his chair. “Alright, so you promised some explanation about your family’s religious beliefs,” he said, lifting his coffee and taking a small, tentative sip of the hot liquid.

Edwin sighed, the still-present smile betraying him. “Isn’t this usually an avoided topic when you’re getting to know somebody?” he asked. “Religion and politics?”

“Just tell me you didn’t vote for you-know-who and we’ll be alright.”

“Oh no.” Edwin chuckled. As he sobered, Shawn watched something about the look in his eyes change, unable to put his finger on what exactly had shifted but aware of it for the second time that night. Whatever it was, Edwin seemed unaware of it and continued. “Well, I said that we’re Pagan. More specifically, my parents have an altar to Selene, Artemis, and Hecate.”

“I take it that they’re gods?”

“Goddesses. Selene especially. She’s the goddess of the moon.” His smile turned more sheepish. “I told you I was with my parents the past few days. The moon was full.”

“Oh!” Shawn laughed and nodded. “Right, okay. So, it was something like a religious meeting?” When Edwin gestured in affirmation, Shawn paused to take another drink from his coffee. “Got it. That’s interesting. I’m used to people taking off work for something like Christmas or Rosh Hashanah, but haven’t ever met a Pagan who’s done the same.”

The way Edwin looked back at him, still with a hint of self-consciousness evident, made Shawn reach slowly, tentatively, for the hand Edwin settled on top of the table. Edwin furrowed his brow, blinking at the sensation of their fingers touching. Though Shawn held steady to the warm smile fixed on his lips, the butterflies fluttered in his stomach once more. “Who is the god of music?” Shawn asked.

“Apollo,” Edwin said. One finger moved, giving Shawn’s a slight brush, and finally, Edwin clasped their hands together, fingers intertwining when both men seemed to share the same bold courage at the same time. Edwin tensed, but within seconds, Shawn watched him relax again in stages. “How did you know?” Edwin asked.

His voice had turned soft, and while it didn’t lose the polite terseness Shawn had started to become accustomed to, it still hinted at a level of vulnerability. “A guess,” Shawn said, lowering his voice as well. “Maybe even a hope. I wondered at first when I saw you out with your friend the other night, but when you showed up at the bar tonight, I had to ask myself why you came.”

“My friend?” Edwin blinked and paused, then nodded. “Oh. My cousin. He came into town to drive out to Lancaster with me.” As he studied Shawn, his lips curled. “Did you think I was out on a date with him?”

“I –” Shawn felt heat rise to his cheeks. “– Might have assumed he was at a point, yes, but in my defense, it’s really difficult to tell you two are related. I think sometimes, it’s better to be quiet than risk sticking your foot in your mouth, so I didn’t say anything one way or the other.”

“Just snuck in an invitation to watch you play guitar.”

“Which… could have been a friendly invitation. I didn’t necessarily have ulterior motives.”

“I’m not sure if I believe that.”

Edwin raised an eyebrow, the curl of his lips turning devious as the girl at the counter delivered the sandwiches they had ordered. It forced their hands to part, but Edwin never seemed far away, even when he was more engaged with eating than talking. Somehow, he seemed nonplussed by Shawn’s chattiness, and even though he offered short responses, both what he spoke and left unsaid gave Shawn enough to find the next topic to discuss. As such, Edwin finished eating first, but he leaned against the back of his chair and sipped his coffee while Shawn continued.

“What do you do for a living?” Shawn finally asked. “You’ve seen both my day job and my night one.”

Clearing his throat first, Edwin paused to deliberate on an answer. “I’m an artist,” he said. He nodded in a Northeasterly direction. “My apartment is a studio, too. I work as a graphic designer part time to pay the bills, but most of my time is mine.”

“Why do you always come into the café at the same time?”

He shrugged, but as he did, Shawn saw Edwin tell his first lie of the night. “I’m usually around the café then. I like their coffee.”

Shawn nodded. While he couldn’t figure out why Edwin would lie about something so innocent, he decided not to ask, choosing, instead, to finish his sandwich and pause their discussion in the meantime. Edwin watched, though the look in his eyes gave away that he knew he’d been dishonest, his hands fidgeting until he sighed and finally answered, softly. “I started coming because a neighbor recommended it. But I returned after seeing you.”

“Why didn’t you ever say hello?”

“You always looked busy. I know that –” Edwin lifted a hand, waving it in front of his face. “– far off look when I see it. It didn’t seem right to interrupt.”

The compromise still contained a half-truth, but Shawn could accept it. Edwin’s hands fidgeted again and even if the rest of him looked perfectly composed, there was a level of undeniable nervousness. Nodding, Shawn decided to let him off the hook, unable to help the small grin of amusement that surfaced as he realized the truth. ‘You didn’t want to talk to me because you were scared to,’ Shawn thought. “Thanks. I appreciate it,” he said. “Now, if you could teach my friend, Dominic, that trick, I’d appreciate it.”

Edwin chuckled, and Shawn gathered their trash, standing to deposit it in the garbage. As he stood, so did Edwin and while he slipped on his coat, Shawn grabbed his things from the floor. “Do you feel like taking a walk with me?” Edwin asked.

Shawn quirked an eyebrow this time, guitar case in hand and satchel dangling from his shoulder. “Only if you promise you’re not a serial killer,” he said.

“No, not a serial killer. Or, at least, you’re not my type.” As Shawn breathed a small laugh, Edwin walked ahead of him, opening the door and standing beside it until Shawn had stepped out from the sandwich shop. Together, they walked side-by-side down the Philadelphia sidewalk, avoiding street signs and telephone poles to stay close. Edwin glanced at Shawn, smirking when he caught him glancing toward the moon again.

“It still looks beautiful,” Edwin said. “Even in the city.”

Shawn nodded. Peering back down at Edwin, he attempted to drift closer. “I was thinking about your folks having celebrations over full moons,” he said. “It’s a lot different than some of the things I’m used to, but I think I like it.”

“Might make for a good song.”

“Exactly what I was thinking.” Shawn laughed. Something about the way Edwin looked back at him caused his heart to flutter and goosebumps to form on his skin. Edwin led them in the direction of the café, or at least that’s what it seemed to Shawn, and for a man who was just becoming acquainted with a new city, Edwin seemed to know exactly where he was going. “Did you like the one I did after my first set?” he asked.

Edwin straightened his posture. “The one right after you sat back down?”

After Shawn nodded again, Edwin mimicked the gesture. He lifted a hand and combed his fingers through his hair. “I did,” he said. “Something about it felt personal, though. Like you had somebody in mind when you wrote it.”

“I did.” As Edwin furrowed his brow, Shawn extended the hand not carrying his guitar and allowed his fingers to brush across Edwin’s back. “Might say I got inspired at the coffeeshop.”

He tensed. “You wrote that for me?”

“Is it too forward for me to say, yeah, I did?”

“No. Well, I don’t know. It might be, but I don’t mind.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Edwin swallowed hard enough to make his Adam’s apple bob. When his arm looped around Shawn’s waist, Shawn felt himself pulled in closer and fought off a shiver. Together, they crossed against the light, passing the familiar location of their usual haunt – dark and shuttered up for the night – and paused by the entrance to a side street at Edwin’s behest.

He let go of Shawn and turned to face the other man. “Are you afraid of heights?” he asked.

Shawn shook his head. While the sensation of Edwin’s arm falling from his back made him long for its return, he felt prodded onward by curiosity, following Edwin down what almost looked like a back alley. “Are you sure about that serial killer thing?” Shawn asked, cinching his shoulder strap further up again.

“Positive.” Edwin waved him onward. “Serial killers don’t take people onto rooftops to show off a good view of the city.”

“A good view? Promise?”

“Cross my heart.” Edwin walked onward to a fire escape and reached for the ladder, jumping to fetch it and using both gravity and upper body strength to pull it down. As he held it, he looked at Shawn through the brief expanse of night which separated them, his eyes shimmering with mirth and expectation. Shawn crossed the distance between them and shrugged, pulling himself up to the first landing one-handed. Edwin ascended behind him and when he reached the platform where Shawn stood, he prodded him onward, walking up the metal stairs behind him and continuing until they both reached the top.

Shawn situated himself on the final balcony, moving over to give Edwin room and placing his things down onto the grated metal landing below him. As both hands wrapped around the railing, his eyes lifted toward the tall buildings mere blocks away from them, a sea of glass reflecting both the lights of the city and the shimmer of the moon. Several were lit up with their own dazzling array and as he breathed in deep, he could smell a thousand things on the wind, from the steam from the sewers to food cooking at the neighborhood restaurants. It wasn’t the most glamorous lookout in all of Rittenhouse, but it made him smile all the same.

When Edwin joined him, he took his place beside Shawn. One hand settled between Shawn’s shoulder blades, sliding up to the base of Shawn’s neck and working its magic in drawing their bodies together again. A smile danced across Shawn’s lips. “I hope whoever lives here doesn’t mind us out on their fire escape,” he said.

“Considering it’s my apartment, I doubt they would,” Edwin said. When Shawn glanced from the buildings toward him, he reflected the smile being presented to him. “I like it up here,” he said. “Sometimes, when I’m feeling daring, I climb the rest of the way onto the roof.”

“Not sure I’m feeling that bold tonight, but you’ll have to show me sometime.”

Edwin nodded. While he failed to grant recognition to the request with words, hope lingered in his gaze, his eyes fixed on Shawn as if looking at something both wonderful and difficult to discern. Shawn knew the feeling. “If I haven’t said it yet,” Edwin said, his voice turning soft, “you have a beautiful voice.”

“I’ll bet you tell that to all the musicians you bring up to your apartment window.” Shawn turned to face him, hand lifting to settle on Edwin’s chest and fingertips toying with the crease of his collar. “It’s even better when you have something to sing about, though, to be honest. You’ve spoiled me the past few weeks with inspiration.”

“I don’t know what to say to that. I admit, I’m not usually someone’s inspiration.”

“You could kiss me. It’s a good substitute for words.”

“I could do that, yes.” Edwin stepped closer and as he looked down at Shawn, Shawn tilted his head to look up at the taller man. All at once, a heady sensation rippled through Shawn, affecting him from heart to groin, the anticipation between them palpable as Edwin closed his eyes and Shawn followed suit. The first touch of Edwin’s lips on his felt warm, inviting, and the mixture of his heat and the cool wind that blew past gave his skin prickles again.

It didn’t take long for Shawn to get swept up in the kiss.

While the first meeting of their lips was a firm, chaste union, as those lips parted, the next one felt intent on searching for Shawn’s breath, apt to steal it. Shawn motioned his mouth against Edwin’s, pulling them flush and while both clutched onto the other, Shawn wondered how far this would go. His mind swam through a haze, trying to calculate everything he’d be willing to surrender to Edwin, waking enough to know that he’d already claimed a piece of his soul. As Shawn came up for air, he motioned to plunge back in, longing to keep the exchange going until neither one of them could stop the inevitable. When Edwin pulled away, however, the sudden rush of cold air startled him back into reality.

Shawn blinked his eyes open, noticing that he had gone from body pressed against body to Edwin pacing away from him. The small area prevented him from going too far, but the fact that Edwin presented his back to Shawn only made the moment more jarring. “I’m sorry,” Shawn said, reaching out for Edwin. “Was that too much?”

“No, no, I…” Edwin lifted his hand, but rather than reaching to pull Shawn close, it served as a barrier to keep him away. He bent his head and took a deep breath, pulling in air in gulps and releasing it as quickly as he brought it in. “I just need a minute.”

“Okay.” The request only made Shawn feel more uneasy, and when he bent to try to look at Edwin, the other man turned his head away. Going from bent over to looking upward, Edwin gave Shawn a split second to see his face and in that moment, Shawn saw something unusual.

“I’m sorry,” Edwin said. “I should go inside. I think the height made me dizzy.”

“Do you need help?” Shawn asked. Edwin shook his head and reached for the nearby window, yanking it upward with one hefty pull. While Shawn watched him enter the apartment, he stepped back a pace, too befuddled to know what to say other than, “I’ll see you later.”

Edwin nodded, shutting his eyes, and reaching for the window to shut it again. “Goodnight, Shawn,” he said, and while it looked like he wanted to say something more, he closed himself off before he could. For long moments, Shawn stood there, trying to figure out what had happened and not retreating until Edwin made it obvious he wouldn’t be emerging again. In one split second, Shawn had gotten everything he’d wanted with him and had it teared away again. His muse had already been a mystery before that night.

But golden glint the moonlight had revealed in his eyes had turned him into that much more of an enigma.