Arton firmly held Lily’s hips as he plowed into her trembling body. Why wasn’t she struggling, or at least screaming for him to stop? He’d showed her his past and the damage left behind by his tormentors. He was twisted, ruined, wrong, and he could never be right again. But Lily hadn’t reacted the way he’d expected. Instead, she’d defended him, refusing to believe he’d been responsible for what she’d seen.

His balls tightened with the need to spill. He should end this and get the hells away from her. But she was warm and willing, utterly surrendered. Shame curled up through him. She didn’t deserve to be treated like a whore, to be used without thought or care. She was special, selfless and compassionate. So why was he driving her away?

He kept her positioned with one arm but freed his other hand. He briefly caressed her back while he regained control of his body. Once he’d backed off his need to come, he eased his hand around to the front and cupped her breast. Warm and soft, her curves soothed his raw emotions, muting the past. He focused on her arousal, rewarding her loyalty with pleasure.

Shifting his hand to the underside of her breast, he caught her nipple between his thumb and finger. She arched into his touch, increasing the pressure. He teased the responsive tip until it gathered into a tight little point, then he moved on, targeting the other side. Her skin was so silky and warm. He wanted to imprint the texture on his mind, superimposing the sensation over other memories.

She canted her hips, taking him deeper and drawing his attention to where their bodies joined. He slid his hand lower, easing it between the couch and her pelvis, sliding down until he cupped her sex.

Her folds were soaking wet and he could feel his shaft sliding in and out of her snug passage. The discovery thrilled him, appealing to the possessive side of his nature. Her body was his. Her passionate heart was open to him, and no one would ever take her away!

He held her like that for a moment, savoring the erotic connection of their bodies. She moaned softly, her hips wiggling helplessly. With her feet off the deck, all she could do was relax and take what he gave her.

Slick with her arousal, his fingers moved up and covered her clit. She tensed with his first touch, then groaned as he rubbed and carefully plucked, experimenting until he found a caress that made her wild. He synchronized each circular stroke to the rocking of his hips. Urgent hunger gradually burned through his self-loathing. Regardless of the irrationality of her willingness, this female was his. And he would do everything in his power to protect her.

“Mine.” He flicked his middle finger back and forth, making her undulate with each firm touch. “Say it.”

“Yours,” she gasped out. “I’m yours.”

Then her emotions swept into his mind, dragging a harsh gasp from him. She wasn’t afraid, at least not in the way he’d expected. Her only fear was that she might not be able to reach him, to help guide him out of the darkness permanently. Like sunshine melting snow, her affection warmed and soothed him, easing pain so acute he’d forgotten what life was like without it. He couldn’t understand her attachment, certainly didn’t deserve it, but she genuinely wanted to be part of his life and to make him part of hers.

The realization sent desire surging through him and snapped the last of his control. He shuttled hard and fast, lost to everything but the pleasure. His balls grew tight and his mind buzzed, invigorated by her energy. He thrust into her one last time, coming in violent shudders. Pleasure spread through his entire body, stealing his breath and bleeding the strength from his legs. She pushed up against him, trembling, her inner muscles rippling around his shaft.

“Gods,” he moaned, sucking in a breath. “That’s good. So damn good.” Sliding her backward slowly, he returned her feet to the deck but didn’t separate their bodies. He eased out of her mind, however, not wanting to subject her to any more of his darkness.

She panted, silent and still, likely stunned from all he had shown her.

“Do you understand now?” He brushed her hair back so he could see her face. “Your life would be like that every day.”

“I don’t believe you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but conviction strengthened her tone. “I think you were forcing me to look. If the link were active all the time, I’d learn to ignore the memories.”

With an abrupt scoff, he stepped back and quickly righted his pants. “Good luck with that. Decades of training have allowed me to control my mind and I still can’t ‘ignore the memories’.”

She peeled herself off the arm of the couch and turned around. “That’s because you haven’t forgiven yourself for what those monsters did to you, or what they made you do to others.” Her face was flushed, hair mussed, and she seemed to have forgotten she was naked. “It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault.”

“I never thought it was.”

Her gaze narrowed, and then understanding overtook her confusion. She sighed and shook her head. “You blame Kryton.”

She sounded so frustrated, he had to look away. “I did for years, but I’ve come to accept that the harbingers are responsible for their own actions. And I’m responsible for mine.”

“I disagree.” She waited until he looked at her to continue, “They manipulated you in the worst possible ways. You had no control over anything.”

He just shook his head. Arguing with her was pointless. Despite the evidence to the contrary, she was determined to defend him. Her attitude was slightly irrational, so why did it make him feel all warm and tingly? The crazy human was making him irrational too.

“How did the last part happen?” she persisted. “Did they threaten you? Drug you?” The hopeful catch in her voice made her seem painfully naive.

“I was eighteen,” he countered angrily. “They didn’t need to do anything other than shove a naked female into my room.” It was a lie and the words tasted bitter in his mouth. Why wouldn’t she give this up? She deserved so much more than he could give her. His ruthless seduction of her was further proof that he didn’t deserve her.

“But what did they gain by encouraging you to have sex with all those females? Was it some sort of reward?”

It was obvious she wasn’t going to let it go until she understood everything, so he spoke in the most general terms possible. “Organic harbingers can only create children with other organic harbingers. At least that’s what they teach at the academy. As with most everything my tutors told me, it proved to be a self-serving lie. Still, I didn’t know that at the time.”

Finally remembering she was naked, she picked up her discarded dress and slipped it on before responding. “They were using you as a—breeder, with organic females?”

She made it sound almost as disgusting as the reality had been. “It was even more twisted than that. Female organic harbingers are extremely rare, so the guild leaders were desperate to overcome the limitation. They made changes to my DNA that were meant to allow me to impregnate anyone. They failed. Despite my best efforts—and I was an eager accomplice—none of the females conceived.”

She just stared at him for a long time, her expression tense, gaze searching. “But if what they told you wasn’t true, what limitation were they attempting to overcome?”

He pushed his hand through his hair. With anyone else, he wouldn’t tolerate this sort of interrogation. Why was he indulging her? “Their goal was more or less true. They were trying to make me compatible with any humanoid female. Their justification—that organic females were all but extinct—was just utter rubbish. They simply wanted their prize stud to be as productive as possible.”

She knew his darkest secret, yet she didn’t back away, didn’t turn from him in disgust. What was wrong with her?

“Have you had your DNA analyzed since you left the academy?” she asked. “Maybe the changes they made can be reversed or modified in some way.”

“Of course I did. I’ve seen the best physicians and metaphysical healers in the galaxy and none of them can undo the damage.” He shook his head and scowled. “I am what the harbingers made me.” The past tugged at his soul, making his chest ache. He’d never told anyone about this, not even Kage. So why had he told Lily? What was it about this female that made him want to bare his soul? “But it was all for nothing,” he muttered, disgusted with himself all over again. “They failed. I failed. All the pain and humiliation didn’t result in even one child.”

“All things considered that might have been a mercy.” She glanced away from him as she concluded, “It kept them from getting their hands on another innocent, like you.” She looked into his eyes as she said the last phrase, almost daring him to deny it.

“I’m far from innocent.”

“You were dependent on those creatures for everything—food, shelter, life itself. And you’d been subjected to years and years of their mind control. You had no choice but to cooperate.” She let the statement hang there for a moment before adding, “It wasn’t your fault.”

Something inside him shifted. It broke open and bled. How could she still believe in him after everything she’d seen? He’d shown her their faces, the ones he’d held down while they sobbed and pleaded for him to stop. How could she still... Emotion burned in the back of his throat and excess moisture clouded his vision. He furiously blinked back the tears, confused by her reaction. And his. Was her blind faith someone refusing to see the truth, or did she sense his deception?

“Why are you still here?” he demanded. “Are you that big a fool? I’m not your only option. Go flirt with Dr. Dimples. He’s...” worthy of you. Emotion paralyzed his throat and he couldn’t speak the words. Even as his mind tried to do the right thing, to force her to see what was best for her, his heart screamed in protest.

“I don’t want Dr. Foran.” She moved closer, her expression cautious yet unafraid. “I want you, only you.”

He shook his head. “You deserve better, more.”

Her brows arched and challenge tilted her head. “More than a powerful harbinger? The overlord surrounds himself with the most skilled and fiercest warriors. What does Kage Razel see in you?”

Her determination eroded his arguments little by little, and each layer she peeled back made him feel even more exposed. “Kage feels sorry for me.”

She made an impatient sound and moved even closer. “Maybe in the beginning, but he trusts and depends on you now. He’s your anchor, for God’s sake. Why would he subject himself to that if he didn’t value you?”

He had no answer and it pissed him off. If she wouldn’t respond to reason, there was only one other way to drive her off, to protect her from his selfish desires. He summoned his coldest expression, raising his chin so he looked down at her. “I was trying to be polite, but you won’t let me. It’s over, Lily. I’ve lost interest in you.” She started to object, but he raised his hand, signaling her need for silence. “My affairs never last long. You amused me more than most, so I kept you around longer than usual.”

Uncertainty finally sparked within her gaze. Damn the woman was stubborn. “I don’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry, but you should have seen this coming.” Each word he spoke shredded his own emotions, but he had to do this for her. “I tried to warn you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

“Then why pretend to care for me? Why tell me you wanted to claim me if only we were mates.”

“The answer is in the question. ‘If only.’ If by some miracle we had been compatible, I might have been tempted to change. But this was just an affair. Like any other.” His heart thundered in his chest and controlling his features grew more and more challenging.

She fiddled with her dress, hands trembling. “I think you’re full of shit, but you obviously need some space so I’ll give it to you.” She took two steps toward the door, then looked back at him. “When you’ve tired of this nonsense, you know where to find me.”

And then she was gone.

And he was alone again.

* * *

“HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING to hide in here?”

Lily looked up from the datapad she’d been staring at sightlessly. “I’m not hiding.”

Sara stood just inside the door to their tiny cabin. Lily hadn’t heard her friend enter, had been lost in her troubled thoughts. Sara’s face was flushed and determination made her dark eyes gleam. “You’ve been moping around for almost a week. If Arton means that much to you, go tell him to stop being an ass! We both know he loves you as much as you love him. I don’t see why this is an issue.”

“I never said I love Arton, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t love me. He was physically attracted to me, but that wore off quickly.” Some small part of her heart hadn’t given up hope, so she didn’t sound very convincing.

“Wow, hon, you better not gamble with me. You’ve got a terrible poker face.”

Lily set the datapad aside. Sara’s no-nonsense style was particularly annoying in Lily’s current mood. She’d expected Arton to blow off some steam, maybe work out his frustration in one of the training centers, then knock on her door contrite and ready to apologize. But five days had passed and he hadn’t reconsidered. She’d been in the lab every day, so it wasn’t like he would have had trouble finding her.

She knew Sara was trying to be helpful, but Lily was out of ideas. She would not beg a man, any man, to love her. She thought more of herself than being that pathetic. “What would you do? If a man told you he’d lost interest and you were being a fool. How would you respond?”

“But he didn’t mean it,” Sara cried, moving farther into the small room. “He doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of you, so he drove you away. Any fool can see that’s his true motivation.”

Lily threw both hands up. “So what do I do about it? I’m open to suggestions.”

Gathering her long dark hair in one hand, Sara tossed it over her shoulder. Then she walked to the bunk opposite Lily and sat down. “Find out all the places he goes and keep turning up unexpectedly. Out of sight, out of mind. You need to force him to think about nothing but you.”

Lily shook her head and sighed. “He’s barely left his cabin in the past five days. It’s hard to turn up unexpectedly when your target is a hermit.”

“Well, crap. There has to be something we can do.” Her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed as she searched for alternatives.

“I’m trying to think of something, but nothing seems helpful. He thinks he’s being noble, that he’s protecting me. I have no idea how to combat that.” Apparently Sara didn’t either because she didn’t respond. Lily waited for a few seconds, hoping her friend would come up with a clever strategy. When Sara said nothing more, Lily changed the subject. “How are the orientations going? Did the outline I gave you help keep you organized?”

Sara hesitated for a moment, as if she wasn’t quite ready to move on. “The outline was a godsend. Thanks again for working it up. And the classes are going really well. It’s nice to finally have something to do with my days.”

Lily nodded, understanding the feeling all too well. Now that she spent most of her time in the lab or in main medical overseeing the transformations, her days flew by. “Each class is taking, what, three days?”

“I’ve got it down to two. The first time around, I included too many details and everyone’s eyes started glazing over. The second try went much smoother. Everyone seemed to like it.”

“And how many are in each class?” Lily wanted to know.

“Twelve. I tried twenty the first time, but the question-and-answer session took four hours. Again, the second class worked much better.”

“With twelve in each class it will take two hundred fifty classes to include everyone. Even if you do two classes per week, it will take over two years.” Sara’s startled look made Lily smile. “We need more teachers.”

Sara nodded, her expression thoughtful. “I’ll ask each ship in the Wheel to choose a teacher. I’ll train them and then I’ll focus on the Viper passengers.”

“A much better plan.”

“So, right back at you.” Sara leaned back on her hands and crossed her legs at the ankle. “How are the transformations progressing?”

“Slowly,” Lily admitted. “We have the same problem. With only one Ghost Guide, we can only do one transformation per day. Now most of the men are still locating or courting their potential mates, but we already have a huge waiting list.”

“And I get asked about that every day,” Sara said. “When is the overlord going to release the names of more compatible couples? The males are doing their best to find their matches on their own, but it’s damn hard to sniff three thousand females.”

Lily couldn’t help but smile as she pictured numerous Outcasts methodically sniffing their way through the commons on all twelve ships. “I no longer have an inside source, but Dr. Foran said the overlord will release new names as new positions become available on the waiting list. It already has a hundred names on it.”

“Transformation isn’t the only reason the males want to locate their female.” Sara shot her a meaningful look.

“I know. But as I said, I no longer have an inside source.”

Sara’s brows arched. “Maybe you should do something about that.”

Lily ignored her. Until Arton emerged from his self-imposed isolation, there wasn’t much anyone could do about the limbo in which he’d left her. “Hopefully, Skyla will train another Ghost Guide, or three, and we can speed everything up.”

“It’s so weird. You had me convinced the Ghost Guide wasn’t real and then she just shows up one day. And now you’re a true believer.”

“Have you met her?”

“Madame Lux.” Sara shivered. “I’m not sure I want to. What I’ve heard about her is pretty scary.”

“She’s a sweetheart,” Lily objected. “You don’t need to be afraid of her.” Lily had spent most of her midday breaks with Skyla since her fight with Arton. Skyla was warm and charming, extremely easy to like.

“Is she as powerful as they say?” Sara uncrossed her legs and scooted to the edge of her bunk. “For that matter, is Arton?”

Lily’s mind link with Arton, even though it had been brief, had given her a damn good idea of his power. “They’re both extremely powerful. But—”

“They only use their powers for good?” Sara laughed. “Couldn’t resist. I can’t trust your opinion of either of them. You’re in love with one and the other will likely be your mother-in-law one day.”

Lily smiled at Sara’s optimism, but uncertainty still simmered inside her. Locking horns with Arton had revealed his stubbornness. Nothing she could do would make him reconsider his position unless at least part of him was open to the change.

* * *

MUCH LATER THAT NIGHT, Arton tossed in his lonely bed, missing Lily more with every breath he inhaled. Her image refused to leave his mind. Even meditation made him ache for her softness and the warmth of her gentle smile. He never should have touched her, never should have tortured himself with a taste of what could never be. He loved her, had loved her from the first moment he saw her, which made him even more determined to free her so she could pursue the sort of life she deserved. The sort of life he couldn’t give her.

He drifted in a half-sleep, somewhere between troubled dreams and taunting fantasies. Warmth touched his face, flaring and receding like the heat from a fire. Something soft and ticklish eased between his toes. The sensation was so strange that he wiggled his feet, trying to identify the cause. He looked down and found himself standing on a large, gray fur.

“Greetings, stranger. Do you have a name?”

Shocked and confused, he snapped his gaze upward and stared into the crystalline eyes of his dream elf. She sat in a tall-backed chair, pearlescent hair flowing over her shoulders. Her bed chamber gradually came into focus around him, massive fireplace at his back, bed on a dais to his right.

“Arton the Heretic,” he answered automatically, feeling compelled to provide the information. This wasn’t a dream meld, at least not the sort he instigated. He was awake. He could still sense his body lying in bed. And yet he was here, in her private bower as well.

“I am Isolaund Farr of the Sarronti.” She pushed to her feet and approached him, her stride slow yet assured. “This planet belongs to the Sarronti. You are trespassing. Pack up your ships and leave.”

“No one will believe me. All of our scans indicate this planet is uninhabited. Where are you? Can you appear to my overlord?”

“I’ve tried. Your mind is the only one open to me.” Her head tilted, making the muted colors in her hair swirl hypnotically. “What is your homeworld? Why have you come to mine?”

“We hail from more than one planet,” he explained, frantically searching his mind for her point of entry. How had she gotten past his shields? Even now, he couldn’t sense her. He could see her, hear her voice, feel the heat of her fire and smell the smoke. Yet there was no trace of an intruder in his mind. It didn’t make sense. “I’m Rodyte. My homeworld is Rodymia.”

Her shimmering gaze narrowed as she studied him. “I’ve never heard of it. And your female? Is she Rodyte like you?”

“I have no female.” Not anymore.

She scoffed, her hair whipping out as she spun around and returned to her throne-like chair. “It didn’t seem so the other day when my battle cats tried to capture her for me.”

Fury swept into his mind, burning away his curiosity and concern. “It was you that day in the trees. Why did you attack my mate?”

“I didn’t attack her. My battle cats were told to fetch not harm. One misjudged his bite and he was punished.”

“Fetch her for what purpose? What did you want with my female?” He clenched his fists taking a step closer.

“I wanted to get your attention. The situation veered off course unexpectedly, but it sounds like I succeeded.” She made a dismissive motion with her hand and the firelight gleamed off her long, pointed fingernails. “I know she’s fine, so temper down the indignation.” She crossed her legs, pressing back into the chair. “Besides, I thought you didn’t have a mate. Not anymore.”

Her mocking tone warned him that she’d effortlessly read his mind. Her dwelling had to be nearby. Her battle cats harassed their guards on a regular basis. Unless she had a way of transporting them from some distant shore, but why feel so threatened by the Outcasts if her people lived on the other side of the planet?

“The females in your camp look slightly different from the males,” she went on. “Are they a different species?”

Why did she care if all she wanted was their departure? Maybe if he answered some of her questions, she’d answer some of his. “Our females are human. Their homeworld is—”

“Earth.” She hissed, sounding like one of her battle cats. “We know it well. Humans are vile, deceitful beings.”

If she’d been to Earth, why hadn’t she recognized the appearance of the females? “Have you ever been to Earth?”

“I’m asking the questions, Arton the Heretic. We are reasonable, but we will not be ignored. How long will it take for you to dismantle that monstrosity by the river?”

“We have no intention of leaving this place. If you’re serious about wanting us gone, come see us in person.” He made the suggestion as challenging as possible.

“You have thirty days. If I show up in person, pretty boy, I will have an army at my back!”