Matthew had barely spoken to me since the meeting. Even during dinner, it was just polite small talk and my wolf was agitated. He didn't like that I'd upset our mate. But I couldn't wrap my brain around him not seeing my side of things. Sure, he worked for the man, but he was a shifter first and foremost. Why didn't he get that shifter law often superseded human law?

"I can hear your brain churning over there, Jonah. I suppose we should talk about today, huh?" Matthew sighed and stroked Flower's back. He was stretched out on the couch with our little girl on his chest while I sat across from him in my recliner. I didn't like the distance between us—both physical and emotional. But I also didn't know how to take the first step toward fixing things.

I held my palms up, gazing at him helplessly. "I guess we probably should talk, but I don't know what to say. I don't like how we have such diametrically opposed views on this whole situation with Chad and the senator. I feel like it's driven a wedge between us that we're too new to combat."

Setting the kitten down, Matthew sat up and leaned forward with his forearms braced on his knees. His eyes were lit with the intelligent fervor of somebody who knew that he was in the right. Except, I knew he really wasn't—at least, not in this case.

"Listen, Jonah. You pegged it right when you said that we're too new. Maybe that’s part of the problem?" He held up a hand when I clutched the arms of my chair and leaned forward in a panic. "Hear me out, Shakespeare. Was I hurt today? Yes, it bothered me to know that our opinions were such polar opposites. And I should also tell you that I did question for a split second whether the mark I so proudly bear had been too hasty. But you know what? I was wrong."

My pulse sped up as hope bloomed in my chest. "So you've changed your mind?"

Matthew looked almost disappointed as he shook his head. "About the case? No, I'm sorry but I haven't and won’t change my mind on that point. However, I do believe that we can agree to disagree. When I said I was wrong, I meant that I was wrong to question our bond. When fate gave us to each other, it knew that we were the other halves of each other's souls. I can feel your honesty and basic kindness through our bond. I'm sorry I questioned that for even a second."

Tears sprang to my eyes, but I forced myself to stay seated for now. "I never doubted our claim, and I won't lie—it hurts to know that you did for even a fraction of a second. But at the same time, I get it. I guess this is where our human sides have to learn to compromise as we get to know each other despite the instant bonding that our animal sides shared. As for this case? You don't understand the things that I've seen."

I went ahead and stood so that I could pace the room. "Matthew, you have to understand. You didn't see Cody when he was rescued from the traffickers. You didn't see my brother when my own team kidnapped him from the cartel and tried to interrogate him like a bad guy. Shit, babe. I realize that you were in that container and experienced it firsthand, but you have no idea what it was like to open those doors and see all of you packed in there like cattle. And you, lying there in the corner in all the muck and filth, so broken and left for dead. It's a miracle that I was able to scent you over all that dreck. I'll never get that image out of my mind."

Matthew rose and walked to me, stopping me in the middle of my pacing to take my hands as he gazed into my eyes. "You're right, I didn't see it from your perspective. I only know what it was like to go through it, and to watch it without being able to do something about it directly like your team did. Jonah, trust me when I say that you have no idea the amount of horrors and degradations I witnessed during my time at the cartel. I know where you're coming from, I get it. But Jonah… I also need you to understand something. If I give into vigilante justice after all the years I've fought for law and order, that makes me a hypocrite. My badge means something to me. It’s not just a pretty piece of identification. It means that I’m responsible for upholding truth and justice whenever I’m needed to do so. Can't you see that?"

I took a deep breath and squeezed his hands as I leaned forward to brush my lips over his, tears threatening to spill over. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about the things that you witnessed; of course you know what you're talking about. And yeah, I get the whole hypocrisy point. If anything, I respect you for it. But see, we let the senator go once.” It was hard to put into words the guilt I felt over that, but I had to try. “He was proven to be involved in some bad stuff, but we didn't know how deep his evil truly ran. It pains me to know that Preston has to live with the knowledge of what his father has done. But it really pisses me the fuck off to know that we let him go when we could have stopped his involvement a long time ago. We thought that making him leave office and lose that status while we made him just go play with his little hotel chain would be enough punishment."

Matthew smiled sadly. "I hate to say it, but even if you had turned him in back then, there probably wouldn't have been enough evidence. Which would be an argument for vigilante justice, I suppose." He smiled ruefully. "See? Once we start talking and seeing things from each other's side of the fence, it makes it easier to understand where we're both coming from. This is why we have to communicate and not rush to snap judgements."

I thought about that for a second. "You're absolutely right. And while I'm not a big fan of the government, I have to admit that the idea of seeing the good senator wearing an orange jumpsuit and being locked in a cage for the rest of his life is tempting. My God, his wolf would die. I can’t even imagine how awful that would be. Especially if he were put in a human prison where he wouldn't be allowed to shift. And where else would he be put? It's not like he's going to come out and admit that he's a shifter."

He nodded with a sad smile. "And then there's the whole Chad thing. Yes, it sounds so much easier to just snap his neck and be done with the situation, not to mention saving tax dollars. And without your argument and my own stance as an agent of justice, I’d probably vote for that option every time too. But I have to admit that I just really like the idea of him having to suffer for his sins. A lifetime in prison—whether human or shifter—still wouldn't be enough payback for the things he's put his own kind through. Hell, not even to his own kind. The drugs that the cartel ran weren't just aimed at shifters. Chad is supposed to uphold the law, not use his badge as a shield to further his own interests. I am counting the minutes until a warrant is issued for his arrest. And if it's at all possible, I'd like to be on the team that arrests him." Matthew pulled away and rubbed his stomach. "Can we maybe finish this conversation on the couch? I need to sit."

Wrapping my arm around his shoulder, I led him back to the couch and eased him down beside me. "Lay back, Agent Sugar Bear. Let me rub your feet again; that seemed to make you feel good the other night."

Matthew shook his head and snuggled up next to me instead. "As much as I adored that foot rub, I think I'd rather let you hold me right now. My wolf needs to scent you. He didn't like the chasm between us today."

Flower jumped up on the couch and tried to insert herself onto my lap. When I ignored her to focus on Matthew, she jumped down again and raced over to the recliner. She glared at me from my chair and let out a string of mews and meows that made us both chuckle before she turned in a circle and settled down to sleep with her back to us.

Matthew grinned. "I think you just got told off, Shakespeare."

I shrugged. "Remind me to check my shoes for hairballs in case she decides to pay me back. Other than that, she can deal with it. Cute as she may be, you come first."

"Speaking of coming…" Matthew waggled his eyebrows up and down. "It seems to me like this might be the perfect time for make-up sex. I mean, isn't that the tradition when a couple has their first fight?"

"You know what? I think I've heard something about that being a thing." I grinned as I leaned in to kiss him, pushing him down on the couch and covering him with my body.

"Oomph." Matthew broke our kiss, pushing his hands against my shoulders. "I'm sorry to say this, but I may not be up to it—at least not with you on top."

I sat up on my knees and looked at him with concern. "I'm sorry, I got carried away and forgot that you just got out of the hospital. I'm probably way too heavy to be putting my weight on you right now."

"Calm down, big boy. I didn't say anything like that. I'm feeling much better from the hospital so don't go trying to treat me like some feeble omega who needs to be babied. I'm just nauseous and my stomach didn't like the pressure." He smirked and grabbed his bulge. "However, there is another part of my body that wouldn't mind if you gave it a little pressure, if you get my drift."

With one move, I grabbed the waistband of his sweats and boxers, jerking them down around his hips. Matthew's breath hitched as I leaned over and nuzzled his balls before licking a stripe up his dick and sucking the head into my mouth. Flicking my tongue over the slit, I palmed his balls and rolled them around in my hand while I sucked him in deeper.

Matthew's fingers scraped over my shaved head, as if looking for something to grab onto as I bobbed up and down. I was just getting into it when he jerked my head up and used his knees to kick me away. He slapped a hand over his mouth and jumped up, running for the bathroom with his pants around his thighs like some gangster.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and rose to follow him. When I walked into the bathroom, he was hugging the toilet and puking hard. Gritting my teeth against the stench of the vomit, I focused on my mate's needs and not what was coming out of his mouth. Soaking a clean washcloth with cool water, I wrung it out before laying it across the back of his neck. I glanced around the floor, pleased see that it was still shining from the mopping I'd given it last night. Hopefully, the bleach I’d put in the water had been enough to combat any bathroom germs because I couldn't do anything other than kneel at his side.

Between each round of puking, he fumbled for the handle to flush the toilet. After the third time of watching his shaky hand reach to flush, I brushed his hand aside and did it for him. We sat there repeating the process of him puking and me flushing until his stomach emptied and only dry heaves remained.

When Matthew finally leaned back and sat on his ass with his shoulders against the wall, I took the cool cloth and gently wiped his face. While he caught his breath, I got up and filled one of the small paper cups I kept in a sanitary dispenser for rinsing and filled it with water for him.

I smirked as I knelt and passed it to him. "I'm not trying to prime the pump, but I thought you might want to get that taste out of your mouth?"

Matthew chuckled weakly as he took the water. "Am I so sick that I'm hallucinating, or did my germaphobic mate just give me water from the bathroom tap?"

"The pipes are lead free and water comes from the same source. Trust me, that was one of the first things I confirmed after I moved in here."

The wheezing laugh grew stronger, his shoulders shaking as he clutched his stomach. "Quit cracking me up, Shakespeare. That's just mean. I don't need to shake my stomach any more right now."

"I don't know why that was funny. In many places the water companies actually supply two different kinds of water, ones that are potable and ones that aren't. Many houses with older pipes make it really scary, especially when you consider the amount of bacteria that's already present in the bathroom. But I run sanitizing solutions down all the drains once a week. I feel secure in saying that the water from the bathroom faucet is every bit as clean as what you’d get from the kitchen tap. There is also an argument to be made for tap water versus bottled water, but then you have to worry about the chemicals in the plastic. Honestly, your best bet is a purifying system or one of those pitchers that clean the water for you."

Matthew leaned over to kiss my cheek. "We're going to have so much fun together. You're just the cutest thing ever. Please don't ever change."

I had no idea what I'd said that was cute or indicated fun, but I figured I'd take the compliment. "Now that we've got the water situation figured out, can we talk about how I was giving you the best blow job ever thanks to the amazing techniques I learned from my research when you ran back here to throw up? It's a good thing that I know you’ve been feeling off today, because a guy could get a complex from that."

"Wait, you were researching techniques? Does that mean you were watching porn? I mean, how does one research proper blow job techniques? Do tell, I am fascinated to hear this one." Matthew tilted his head to peer at me with a teasing glint in his eyes.

"Th-there are other ways!" I sputtered defensively. There was no way that I was going to admit that I had read several articles about fellatio tricks and yes, my research had also included a couple of porn snippets.

Matthew's grin spread wider. "Other ways? What other ways could there be? Wait… Do you mean like hookers?"

My mouth dropped open as I stared at him. My brain couldn't even process the idea that I would willingly hire someone in the sex trade to teach me to pleasure my mate. Before I could answer, Matthew shoved the crumpled paper cup in my hand and surged to his knees to puke that water right back up. I reached forward and sadly rubbed his back. My poor mate; this was going to be a long night.