A knock on my door pulled me from my homework induced stupor, and I pulled my headphones off my ears as I tossed the textbook to the end of the bed. I hadn’t resumed classes yet, and I was drowning in the reading and coursework load that had been piling up while I’d been recovering. Thankfully the guys had been able to get my assignments, and I was following along via the syllabus for each class. I’d be damned if I let myself fall behind in school; not after I’d worked so hard. It also served as a great distraction from the saga that was my past. I thought I was handling myself rather well, but I was also trying hard not to dwell on everything I’d learned, lest I drive myself crazy.

“Hello!” A sweet, feminine voice floated through my doorway and I squeaked, hopping up and rushing the door, toppling books in the process. “Your catering service has arrived!” My best friend joked on the other side of the door.

Flinging the bedroom door open, I saw Rini in all her petite glory holding up a donut box. The sweet smell floated to me and my stomach growled appreciatively. “What the hell are you doing here?” I squealed.

“I bring sustenance in the form of sweet sugary goodness. I figured you’d need it but you totally owe me! I almost lost a hand trying to get these past Damien and up the stairs, and then I almost lost the whole damn box to Ryder’s sweet tooth!” She grinned, and I pulled her into the room.

“How many did he get off of you before you made it up the stairs?” I laughed.

“Only two, but I swear it would have been the whole damn box. He may have saved you one… you know… since he likes you and all.” She gave me a silly grin. Glancing over her shoulder, I tried to see if one of her bears would be waiting in the hallway. To my delight, we seemed to have the upstairs to ourselves.

“They’re downstairs if you’re looking for the three musketeers. I convinced them that no horrors awaited in your bedroom unless you counted dirty laundry or dirty fun sex toys.” She grinned salaciously and I laughed.

“Girl, you give me way too much credit for having a naughty side.” We pushed the books on my mattress aside and sat cross legged on the bed, the box of donuts between us. “I’m not the one with three gorgeous hunks to serve her every wanton wish.” I winked as I threw the box open to survey my donut choices.

She shot me an evil grin. “No, you’re the one with five.”

I rolled my eyes. “Kissing is all I’ve done.”

“Or all you’ll own up to.” She wiggled her eyebrows like Ryder. Oh Lord, there were two of them!

I giggled. “What is up with you! You’re getting as bad as Ryder.”

“I have been stuck in that house with three overbearing, overprotective, way-too-sexy-for-my-ovaries-to-handle hunks, and I need a dose of estrogen before I self combust.” She rolled her eyes playfully and I laughed with her, understanding her predicament but also understanding theirs. I’d unwittingly put their mate in danger. If it had been me, I’d be worried and protective too. I was pretty sure they hated me.

Trying to cover up my sudden wince, I tried to distract her from my reaction by diving into the box of goodies in front of me and choosing a cream filled donut. “I’ll love you forever for this, you know that right?” Biting into it, I moaned loudly.

“Oh, yeah! That’s right baby!” She yelled loudly, eliciting barks of laughter and groans from downstairs. Damn shifter hearing.

I nearly choked. My friend could appear so innocent, but behind those eyes lurked a trouble maker. “What the hell are you doing?” I whispered urgently, trying to swallow the bite I’d taken.

“Just had to get a rise out of them and lighten the mood. They’re all so tense down there.” She shrugged and looked toward the comforter, picking at the stitching.

“Your guys have every right to be upset. Let me clarify that… they have every right to be upset at me. Not the guys. All any of you were trying to do was help me. Thank you, by the way.” Losing my appetite, I put my food back in the box, licking the confectioners sugar off of my fingers.

“It’s my fault.” Her voice broke. “I’m the reason Theo got shot.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Rini, look at me.” When she looked up, I saw the tears swimming in her soft brown eyes.

“It was not your fault. I was the one who dragged my past into your lives and got Theo hurt. I’m the one who put everyone in danger. I wish I could make it go away.” Now I felt the tears pooling in my own eyes.

We looked at each other, taking in our weepy state and started laughing, letting the tears stream down our cheeks. We both reached out, clasping each others wrists, donuts forgotten as we laughed and cried together. It was filled with emotion, but by the time that we were done, I knew we both felt better. I was surprised at how well I had handled the contact, but my Phoenix had needed it as much as Rini and I had.

“I don’t think Barrett, Donovan, or Cayden are going to let me go back to the dorms right away. I’m so sorry.” She winced, but I quickly waved her off.

“Like Hiro, Ryder, Theo, Killian, or Damien are going to let me go back? It’s not likely… and honestly, I’m not sure I want to go back yet.” I wrapped my arms around myself. I didn’t want to be paranoid or afraid, but the idea of staying alone in the dorm at night—even with Rini right next door—did scare me, and I hated myself for those thoughts. “Did you hear that he wasn’t really my father?” My voice was so quiet, I almost couldn’t even hear myself.

“I did. Theo.” That’s all she needed to say. I sighed. In some ways it was nice that Theo was so close to her, so that I didn’t have to explain everything again and again, especially when I didn’t really understand it all myself. I did hope that he wasn’t quite as open with our sex lives, however…

“I don’t even know what to think. I hate him.” Truer words had never been spoken, but I also knew I shouldn’t let that hate rot inside of me. Somehow, I needed to glean onto the good things. I needed to let him be a memory, to let the past be just that. I may not be able to stop hating him, but I could let the hate not matter and slowly disappear from my life. I wasn’t related to that son of bitch. He had no claim over me. If he would just go away, I may even be able to finally live a normal life. Or some semblance of normal, anyway.

“I’m pretty sure that’s a fair reaction. What he did to you, it’s terrible, Nix. I hate that you had to grow up in such a terrible situation. I wish you had grown up here, with all of us.” She reached forward and placed her hand on my knee carefully. Seeing the movement coming, I didn’t flinch or pull away, instead, I looked up at her and gave her a watery smile.

“I just wish I knew more about what happened in my past. Who the hell is my real father? What happened to my mother? I wish I could remember more, but I just can’t. I was young. The only thing I remember is that sadistic asshole and small glimpses of my mother. They’re just little clips of images and memories that I think are real, but I’m not even sure.” My heart broke over all the things I didn’t know or remember.

“You should ask Theo for more help. I know he will help you track down any information he can on your birth parents and your lineage. Maybe there’s family out there somewhere that are worth knowing.” She shrugged. “And if not, you’ll always have all of us. I know things are a little tense at the moment, but that will pass. The guys are downstairs right now working on their differences.”

I tensed, and she felt it from where her hand still rested on my knee. “They’re not fighting are they? I mean… don’t guys tend to get physical when they work out their differences?” I put the last word in quotations, seriously worried.

Rini’s laughter was good for my somber heart. “I doubt it. They’re probably just talking.” She waved her hand in front of her face, dismissing my concerns.

For the next hour, we painted our nails and talked about strictly girly things that the guys had no interest in. She filled me in on dorm gossip she’d gotten through the grapevine while I mostly listened. I didn’t know about half the people she talked about, but I enjoyed the time to zone out and focus on anything other than my messed up past or overdue homework.

“You know, I’ve never see the guys like this.” She said as she waved her hands in the air, letting the polish dry before touching anything else.

“Your guys or mine?” I immediately blushed at the blip I had let slip from my lips. Rini’s eyes went wide and then she doubled over with laughter.

“Oh my God! You admitted it out loud! No take backs! They’re yours!” The expression on her face was jubilant and triumphant, and I narrowed my eyes at her, raising a brow.

“You know very well what I meant.” I poked her in the stomach, my nails having already dried. Thank you instant dry nail polish! I did not have the patience to sit around forever waiting for polish to set. “So what’s different about them?” I pried.

“I’ve never seen them so unified and committed. I mean, they’ve always been a close group and great friends, but this is different. Do you know they never left your side while you were going through your rebirth? You’re special, Nix. I don’t just say that because you’ve become an amazing friend. I know they’re drawn to you. You’re compatible with each other, both on a creature level and a human one. I can tell.” She gave me a gentle smile, and I felt butterflies at her words. “It was the same with my guys…” she continued, “ … that indescribable pull.”

“That’s exactly what it feels like.” I rubbed a hand over my fluttering stomach. Even now I could feel the tendrils of magic dancing between of all us, and I felt connected to them on a deep level I couldn’t fully comprehend . My Phoenix called to me, and I felt her resounding happiness at our acceptance of the bond that was forming. There was no way I could deny it. My life had turned out differently than I had planned since moving to Alaska, but when had my life ever been normal?

“Are you and your bear’s officially mated yet?” I asked, curious.

“We’ve obtained the permission we need, but I haven’t sealed the deal yet, officially.” She put the last word in quotations.

“Why not?”

“I’m not sure.” She glanced up at me, and I could see the questions playing through her eyes as she struggled to give me an answer that made more sense. “I wanted that little bit of freedom, you know? The independence before I settled down and lost myself to motherhood. Please don’t take that the wrong way!” She rushed. “I want to be a mother, more than most things in my life, which is good since I’m a female shifter. That’s kind of our job.” She scrunched her nose up at the thought but quickly cleared her face. “My guys wouldn’t ever force me to breed right away; we’ve talk about it. I just wanted to live a little more before I settled down. Now, though, none of that seems as important.” She shrugged.

“You mean after watching Theo get shot?” I barely got the words out as my throat tightened.

She nodded somberly. “Barrett, Donovan, and Cayden mean everything to me. Maybe I’ve just been dumb, putting off the thing we all want so badly. In that moment, when that asshole pulled the gun, the only thought going through my mind for a split second when I stared down the barrel was that I wanted to be with my bears. Why had I waited so long to accept fate? They respect me enough to give me time after mating before we make babies. Not all women are so lucky, especially mythologicals.” Her eyes looked pained as they met mine. I knew breeding was important to shifters, but hell, it was starting to sound like some men thought that was all there was to life. Didn’t they know you could still have plenty of sex without the fear of pregnancy these days?

“So what does mating entail?” The second I said the words, my face heated. Stuttering, I tried to redeem myself, “I mean… you know what I meant… I wasn’t talking about…” Rini roared with laughter, nearly knocking over her nail polish bottle onto my bed in her hysterics.

“Do we need a more in-depth birds and bees talk, Nix?” Her smile took over her whole face, and I couldn’t help but join in her laughter, even if I was giggling at my own expense.

“You know what I meant!” I yelled loudly.

Calming down, she finally answered, “Yes, there is a ceremony that goes with the mating process. Sometimes, mating looks different depending on the cultural aspects of the species. Since we’re all bears, it’s relatively easy. For you, however, it will be a little harder since you have so many different cultures in your group of sexy men.” She grinned wickedly.

“Rini! We’re talking about you!” I huffed, trying to refocus the conversation.

“Well, the hardest part for us is done, and it wasn’t all that hard in the first place. The Council approved our mating with no issues. They barely even looked at us.” She rolled her eyes. “We’re regular animal shifters though… lowly bears.” Once again, she made quotations.

My eyes narrowed. “They seriously have an issue with you being bears?” I asked. It sounded ridiculous.

“No, forget I mentioned it.” She tried to change the subject but I reached out, touching her arm.

“Tell me.”

“Let’s just say that they care much more about mythological shifters than they do about us normal ones. It’s more work to get approved for a mythological mating, so for once, I’m glad I’m a lowly animal shifter.” She sassed before growing serious again, “Honestly, I can’t say that’s a bad thing. I don’t want any extra attention from any of the Council members. Sometimes I think it’s best to fly under the radar if you can.” She waved away my concerns then, refusing to keep talking about the subject even though I was dying to know more about the Council and her mating.

Checking her watch, Rini let out an exaggerated sigh and jumped from the bed. After stretching her back in an elegant arching motion she reached into the box and grabbed a glazed donut. Taking a large bite, she spoke while she chewed. “I have to get to class.” Her eyes looked regretful, and I was sad that our girl time was ending. Standing, I reached over and pulled Rini into a hug, completely shocking the bear.

“Thank you, Rini. I don’t know how to say this, but I’ve never had a friend like you. No one has ever cared enough about me to come after me the way you did in that clearing. I’m sorry I brought all this trouble into your lives, and I swear I am going to fix it.”

“We’ll all fix it, Nix. You’re not alone anymore. No matter what, we’re your family now.” My heart squeezed in my chest, and I almost started crying again before I was able to pull myself together. Thank God I had donuts! I’d work on scrubbing out bad habits later. I had a feeling I’d need all the comfort food in the world to deal with the rest of this day.