Tara

I stared out the window, seeing nothing. That was what I’d done ever since I woke up in a strange bed in a strange room in a strange ramshackle cabin in the middle of nowhere. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. I suspected Reb gave me a sedative in addition to knocking me out, because when I woke up, it was dark. I’d gone back to sleep, and now it was morning again. At least, I thought so.

I hadn’t said a word, because I had nothing to say. When I closed my eyes, I saw my brother’s bloody face. And all the time, nonstop, since I woke with a pounding headache, I heard his agonized voice saying my name.

No matter what Bryan had done, I loved him. He’d taken care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself, and he’d never stopped trying. In a small way, this whole thing made me love Lance more. He’d tried to save me from this, the hole in my heart at the loss of my brother. Then I stopped thinking of Lance. I had to, because if I let myself go there, I’d break apart.

The door to the bedroom opened. I didn’t turn around. I knew it was Reb. This was the third time he’d walked in. The first two times, he’d called my name and I ignored him. Reb didn’t like to be ignored, never had. Although when we were together, he’d never struck me, not once, never even grabbed me or squeezed my hand too hard. He’d never dared to lay a finger on me, but now I knew that was only because of…Bryan.

So without Bryan, Reb was free to do what he wanted. And I couldn’t bring myself to care.

I’d lost everything—my brother, my life, Lance. All of it. Just gone. I waited for the despair to overwhelm me, for the tears to hit, but maybe I was in shock because all I felt was a whole lot of nothing.

“Tara, we need to talk.”

I didn’t say anything. I sat in the chair I’d pulled to the window, hugged my knees to my chest, and focused on the slight breeze swaying the branches of the trees outside. We were in some sort of woods surrounded by evergreens, the ground coated with fallen needles.

He sighed. “I’ll give you some more time, because I get you’re upset, but soon I’m going to lose patience at this silent treatment shit.”

I blinked out the window. I get you’re upset. He got I was upset? UPSET?

Despair didn’t hit me then, oh no, rage roared up from my core, hot and heavy and choking. I leapt off the chair and whirled around. I wasn’t sure what my face looked like, but it must not have been pretty because Reb jerked back at the sight of me.

“Upset?” I whispered, the anger crawling up my throat like a demon hell-bent on destruction. “You think I’m upset?”

“Tar—”

“Upset?” I snatched a lamp off the table by the bed, giving it a vicious tug so the plug ripped out of the wall and then with a shriek that could break glass, I hurled it at Reb.

He batted it out of the way easily, and his face changed from shock to irritation. “Tara—”

“I’m not upset,” I said, advancing toward him with my finger pointed at his chest. “I’m past upset. I’m so far fucking past upset that upset isn’t even a memory. I don’t know what I am. There aren’t words for it. But know this, Reb. I will make your life a living hell. You can hit me every day, you can knock my teeth out, you can break my bones, but I will never, ever, not one single second give you the satisfaction that you have me. You’ll never have me. You never fucking did.”

He stared at me, his expression confused. Maybe he’d thought I’d roll over and show him my belly, go along with this bullshit. Was he fucking crazy? Scratch that. He was fucking crazy. And as I watched the realization dawn on his face that we weren’t going back to the Tara and Reb we’d been before, I thought maybe I’d gotten through.

Then, like a light, his features changed. Hardened. And he said softly, “You’ll come around.”

I screamed at him. I opened my mouth and I screamed a blood-curdling scream, then retreated to the bed and threw the covers over my head. I waited there, trembling, waiting for the blows to come, for the harsh words, for something. But there was only silence then the sound of his retreating footsteps, the door closing.

I waited a long time before I peeked out to find I was alone. Then I finally let myself cry. When the tears dried, I stared at the wall, trying to collect myself and figure out what the hell I was going to do. I wanted to give up. I wanted to go catatonic for the rest of my life and let Reb regret his decision, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that forever. That wasn’t me. I was Tara. I had a bad attitude and I loved fiercely. Bryan would want me to fight. Lance would too, even if he was starting a new life without me now.

I’d heard Reb speaking earlier to someone in another room in the cabin about taking me to the safety deposit box soon. So that would be the first thing I’d do—refuse. I’d never sign, no matter what he held over my head. Hell, he didn’t have anything to hold over my head anymore. My own life? Fuck him. I’d die before I gave him fucking anything.

I could hear him speaking again outside my door. His voice was faint, but I crawled out of bed and pressed ear to the crack in the door.

“—Not back yet?” He was saying. There was no answer, so maybe he was on the phone. Still, I heard multiple footsteps. The sound of dishes rattling in a sink. A beer bottle clanking on a table. He had some of his crew with him.

His voice was louder when he spoke again. “I’ll send a man there. Figure out where the fuck they went. Yep. Later.”

Something thumped. Like a fist hitting wood. “Ronnie, you take—” garbled words “—perimeter.”

The door opened and shut, then silence. When I didn’t think I was going to get anything more, I trudged back over to the bed, sat on it, and slumped with my back against the wall, knees pressed to my chest. As much as I tried to turn this all over in my head, nothing made sense. There was no way Reb would betray Bryan just because of me. Whatever was in that safety deposit box was the reason he wanted Bryan dead. But what the fuck could it be? Reb has said security. Security for what? And how did Castor fit into all of this?

Bryan had seemed so sure we could start over, be happy even. I was beginning to suspect there was a more complicated relationship between Bryan and Castor than he’d let on. Somehow, Reb didn’t quite fit into that.

I hadn’t eaten since that toast at the diner. There was currently a sandwich from yesterday still sitting on my small table, along with a bowl of oatmeal from this morning. I hadn’t touched it; that had been my protest. Now I decided that was fucking stupid. Starving myself wouldn’t do a damn thing.

I got off the bed and scarfed down the oatmeal, which was still warm. The sandwich was peanut butter and jelly, and the bread had hardened somewhat, but I ate that too. Then I drank the lukewarm coffee and chugged the bottled water Reb had brought me. Okay, so there. I had some fuel, some calories. I knew we wouldn’t be here forever and I couldn’t go limp. I had to fight. If Reb wanted me docile, then he was going to have to beat it into me.

I walked into the bathroom and checked out my temple in the mirror. The skin was bruised and swollen, and it felt sore to the touch. I was still a little dizzy, and suspected I had a minor concussion from the blow. Asshole.

I looked a mess. My arm hurt from the car wreck, and I had a nasty bruise across my chest from the seatbelt. My eyes looked sunken in and goddamn, I looked terrified. Terrified and in mourning. Which was accurate. I looked pissed too. Also accurate.

I walked back to my chair and collapsed in it. I was still wearing clothes from two days ago—a T-shirt, pair of jeans, and sneakers. I sniffed my armpits. Yikes. There was a shower in the bathroom, but it wasn’t stocked with anything and there were no towels. I wasn’t too keen on taking my clothes off for any reason, so whatever. I’d smell.

I stared out the window, watching the sway of the trees, the thick evergreen needles blanketing the forest floor. I wished I knew a little more about botany, as if the plants would give me an idea of where I was, like some fancy movie where the main character figured it all out and saved herself.

This wasn’t a fancy movie. All I saw were fucking evergreens and weeds like I’d seen all my life, so I could only determine we weren’t far from Jersey. That was it, the most I could deduce. I was a horrible detective.

Something caught my eye, the barest hint of a color that didn’t seem natural. I squinted, wondering if it was an animal. Because really what we needed now was a fucking bear to lumber up to the cabin. That would be just fucking great.

Then I saw movement behind a tree trunk and my feet dropped to the floor as my back went straight.

I was a Drayer. I’d grown up with Bryan. That meant I knew a gun when I saw one. I had taken lessons at the shooting range for years. And that most certainly was the tip of a rifle peeking out from behind the trunk. One of Reb’s men? But why would he be hiding?

I didn’t dare get closer to the glass. I didn’t move. What if this was Castor’s men coming to finish us all? I swallowed and scanned the wooded area. When I caught sight of another rifle tip peeking from behind a tree trunk, fear spiked through me like a bullet. My hands gripped the arms of the chair, damp palms slipping on the wood. How many men were out there? Who were they?

I should warn Reb, because as much as I hated him, he intended to keep me alive. I slowly moved the chair back, the legs scraping the floor. I wasn’t sure if anyone was looking through the window, and I didn’t want to make any sudden movements. I imagined one of those rifles rounding the trunk, a man taking aim, and shooting a bullet between my eyes right through the damn window.

Back, I pushed the chair, my heart slamming into my ribcage, my mouth dry. Sweat rolled down my temples. I was halfway across the floor when my door flew open. I turned around to see Reb rushing in, face red, eyes bulged. He grabbed my arm and hauled me off the chair. “If you want to stay alive,” he said, spittle flying in my face, “then you do exactly what I say.”

I just nodded, the visions of those guns filling my head. He pulled me through the cabin, and I caught a glimpse of a kitchen and dirty living room before he pulled a gun from his waist as he headed toward the front door. The front door? Was he fucking crazy?

“Reb,” I tried to dig in my heels.

His hand tightened around my arm and he hissed in my face. “What the fuck did I say?”

I clamped my lips shut.

“Castor’s men are out there, and they want to kill you. I’m all you got standing between you and them, do you understand?”

I nodded. He cocked his gun, raised it above his head. As I heard the first pop of bullets, he threw open the front door and hauled me outside by my wrist.

The gunfire was all around me. I didn’t scream, didn’t make a sound, just ran with one hand over my head, like that was going to stop a fucking bullet. How did I get here? Reb killed my brother, and now I had to rely on him to protect me? God help me, if only I had a goddamn gun, I’d take down every last fucking one of them.

The anger hit me swift in the gut like a punch, and I lifted my head to see one of Reb’s men jerk back while a man I didn’t recognize ran toward us with his gun pointed at me. “Reb!” I shrieked.

He shot at the man, who ducked behind a tree. The bullet pinged off the trunk and then we were crashing into the woods. Reb ran fast, always had, and I could barely keep up with him, but I also really wanted to fucking live, so I pumped my legs as fast as I could.

Bryan would never do this, he’d never fucking run. He’d never run from anything in his life. Which was maybe why we got into this mess in the first place.

I heard men shout behind us, cries of alarm, and more gunfire, but it sounded far behind us. Where the fuck were we going?

We ran until my lungs burned. I had no idea how much time had passed, it’d seemed like an hour but at my fitness level, it could have been five minutes. All I knew was that I was sucking in oxygen like I’d just run a marathon and my arm felt like it had been dislocated as Reb pulled me along to keep up with him.

Soon we reached a small clearing and sitting under the boughs of a large tree was an ATV. Oh God, that meant no more running. Reb pulled me across the clearing and thankfully let go of my arm as he dug in the saddlebags. I rubbed my wrist where he’d held me, the skin already bruising. His back was to me, and he muttered to himself, “Shoulda gone right to Waterstone. Never shoulda took this fucking time.”

He must be talking about the safety deposit box. Keys rattled just as my gaze landed on the gun tucked in the back of Reb’s waistband. Time slowed to a crawl as I stared at the butt of that gun. Reb was distracted, leaning over the side of the ATV to put in the keys. I didn’t have time to hem and haw. I knew how to shoot a gun—I was a Drayer after all.

Grab it, Tara. Grab it. In another few seconds, he’d turn around and I’d lose my chance. He flipped the switch and the ATV engine roared to life. It was now or never.

I lunged, ripping the gun from his waistband and holding it out in front of me with two hands while I backed up. Reb whirled around and blinked at me, clearly in shock. Those were seconds he was going to wish he could get back. Because I was out of his reach now, far enough away that he couldn’t make a grab for me or the gun. I’d see him coming, and I’d pull the trigger.

Before he processed that I had a gun trained on him—his gun—I was ten feet away. Reb knew I could shoot. He might not think I was capable of shooting a human being, but I could shoot. And maybe a month ago, I wouldn’t have shot a soul. But that was before I’d lost Lance and Bryan all in the span of a few hours. Now I was a woman with nothing to lose.

Reb held his arms up and began to walk toward me. “Tara…”

“Don’t move!” I shouted, holding the gun steady. I didn’t want him to see me shake, even though my pulse was beating so loud in my ears, I could barely hear anything else.

Reb stopped. His eyes darted to the direction we ran from, and then he focused back on me and licked his lips. “Look, now is not the time to pull this shit. Those men want to kill us. We gotta go.”

“Why do they want to kill me?” I asked.

Reb didn’t answer right away. “Because you’re Bryan’s sister.”

“Bryan’s dead,” I spat at him. “Why do they care now? Who started that fire, Reb?” I saw him flinch, and my heart thudded in my chest. “Did you start that fire so I’d come back to you?”

His jaw clenched. “You never should have left me.”

“You know what I’m tired of Reb?” I regripped the gun, wishing my hands weren’t sweating so badly.

“What is it?”

“My future, all my life, has been determined because of the decisions of the men in my life. You. Bryan.” I kept the last name to myself. “And others. I’m tired of it, Reb. I’m so fucking tired of it.”

“We can leave here, and I’ll give you what you want, Tara. Swear. You want to go to Europe? Caribbean? You want diamonds? You name it.”

I shook my head while he was still talking. “No, you don’t get it. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t want anything from fucking anybody. All I ever wanted was someone who understood I needed love without things. I don’t fucking want things, Reb! I want to be happy. I want good sex and laughter and conversation. I just want some fucking peace and happiness.”

He began to walk toward me now, his hand out. “I’ll give that to you.”

“No, you won’t.”

He was close now. “Why not?”

“Because you don’t have a single thing I want.” Then I lowered the gun and shot him in the kneecap.

Reb shrieked, an inhuman sound that made me cover my ears. He crumpled to the ground, clutching his knee, screaming and hollering. “You bitch, you fucking bitch! I’ll fucking gut you for this, you cunt!”

He would, he totally would. Even now he was trying to crawl toward me, but he wasn’t making much progress. I’d shoot his other kneecap if I had to. I kept the gun trained on him as I skirted the edge of the clearing. My goal? The ATV. I was going to take Reb’s ATV, leave him here for Castor’s crew and get the fuck out.

“Don’t you take that ATV, bitch. Swear to fucking God, I will hunt you down. You think my soldiers wouldn’t love Bryan’s little sister as a party favor?”

Gross. I should shoot him in the head. Why leave him here alive? But fuck I wasn’t good at this. Shooting Reb in the leg was one thing. The head? Shit.

I was close to the ATV now, my gun still trained on Reb when he took his focus off me for a split second to peer into the woods. “Motherfucker,” he grunted.

That was when I heard it. Footsteps. Oh fuck, this wasn’t good. I took a chance, dropped the gun at my side and sprinted toward the ATV. Reb roared, and I could hear him dragging his body toward me. I reached the ATV before him, leaped onto the seat and swung my arm around to train my gun on him. He was close, too close. I fired again, this time capturing him in the arm. He twisted at the waist on a cry and fell onto the ground in a writhing mass of blood. I felt bad for a split second, but if Castor’s men were on their way, they’d finish him off anyway.

I looked at the ATV. Fuck, how did I drive one of these things? Was it like a golf cart? The last time I rode one had been probably ten years ago and I’d been clutching Bryan’s back. “Shit, shit, shit,” I muttered as I looked for the gear shift. The footsteps were closer now, Reb’s pained moans echoing. Panic set in, and I scrambled, pressing every fucking button, every lever, until I found a button that made the whole thing lurch forward. I yelped and squeezed the bake on the handle just as three men crashed into the clearing.

“No!” I screamed, tears falling down my face now. Was this it? I’d stolen Reb’s gun, fucking shot him, and now I was going to go down because I couldn’t work a damn ATV? As I let off the brake, the ATV bucked again just as a voice shouted, “Tara!”

That voice…I squeezed the brake again and whirled to face the men. From across the clearing, dark eyes met mine. The other men surrounded Reb with guns drawn, but I had tunnel vision. I was ensnared in Lance’s gaze just like I’d been at the bar, just like I’d been every second we were together since I met him. I blinked, unsure he was really here, or if I was imagining things. “Tara, baby,” he murmured. He dropped his hand holding his gun and beckoned to me with the other. “You’re safe.”

My body bucked, and I stumbled off the ATV. I fell to all fours on the ground of fallen needles, then hauled myself to my feet and all out sprinted to Lance. He ran toward me, arms out, and I took a leap when I neared him. He caught me, his arms tight around me, as I clung to him with every limb. He fell to his knees as I shoved my face into his neck. “You came back,” I sobbed. “You came back!”

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking. “I’m so goddamn sorry. I never should have left. I broke my promise.”

I didn’t answer, not caring about anything but the fact that he was here, that he’d come, that I didn’t have to give him up, that I wouldn’t. “Tara,” he said, pulling back slightly and gripping my face. “There’s something you need to know.”

“You’re back,” I said. “That’s all I need to know.”

He smiled at me. “No, that’s not all.” Then he rose to his feet, and set me on mine. He moved out of the way and pointed to a man standing along the tree line behind us.

I stared, then I blinked, then I stumbled forward just as my brother opened his busted lips and said, “Hey.”

I surged forward, running toward Bryan until I collided with his chest. He went back a step, his arms wrapping around me, the ones I’d felt since I was a kid, the ones I knew would keep me safe. And that was when I went limp and burst into big, fat, ugly sobbing tears that echoed off the trees.