Chapter Four
Tilly’s panic rippled like the waves on the gorgeous lake peeking through the trees. Flynn had a suspicious look in his eye, like he knew she’d lied. She never fibbed. She just never got close enough to anyone to have to explain her reasons for some of the things she did. Or answer those dreaded questions about growing up. She got that not many people experienced the nightmare she had, but it didn’t mean she wanted to share it.
Her gaze rebounded all over the kitchen. She felt guilty as hell, all because she couldn’t tell him why she’d donated the amount she had. One day, she knew she’d meet someone and grow to trust them enough with her story, but not Flynn. She didn’t want to be the battered child around him. The blond, built, walking fantasy was her escape. What daydreams would she get lost in if she lost the one of Flynn?
“Want to give me the grand tour?” she asked brightly.
His light brows popped up. Subtlety wasn’t her strength. She scurried out of the kitchen, hoping he would follow.
“Where should I put my bags?” Retrieving hers from by the front door, she spun around and hit a wall of man chest.
“Tu—Tilly.”
She tipped her head back. He was so much taller than she remembered. He’d had a growth spurt after she’d dropped out. “What?” she squeaked.
He gazed down at her, concern in his emerald irises. She wanted to cry with frustration. How many years had she wished to make Flynn feel more than flustered? But she didn’t want his worry. Like she didn’t want his pity. She couldn’t win, and he was starting to make her feel like Tulip Johnson. That was a place she couldn’t go back to. A shudder ran through her.
“Did I say something wrong?”
Damn, he’d noticed. “No. I…” Lying hadn’t gotten her anywhere, so she’d spare him a kernel of truth. “I don’t like talking about myself.”
Those lust-inducing lips of his curled into a smile. “Then it’ll be a long week if you have to listen to me prattle on about work.”
They stood less than a foot apart, but neither one moved. “What is it you do? Mara said you were in construction.”
Pride highlighted his features and it looked good on him. Before, much to her own chagrin, she’d thought he’d looked arrogant. “Corporate construction. I own my own business.”
“Wow.” Some people had it all. Logically, she knew he’d worked for it, but…she’d worked pretty damn hard, too, and this cabin blew away any place she’d ever lived. But he probably hadn’t had loser parents to overcome.
“I built Arcadia.”
“That place is gorgeous,” she breathed.
Little lines crinkled at the corners of his eyes and her belly clenched. One tiny imperfection that made him suddenly human and attainable.
He was still so close, the heat of his body surrounded her in a cocoon she never wanted to leave. In high school, she’d always chatted with him on his heels. He always had to be somewhere in those days. It was nice that he had slowed down now, even for just a moment.
“It’s one of my favorites.” His voice had dropped low, husky.
“I’m sure it helped that your client was your best friend.”
“My best friend’s wife. The place is hers. She made him keep his hands off.”
“What else have you built?” She swayed closer, the distance between them shrinking to bare inches.
His gaze dipped to her cleavage and she should’ve died a little that he’d caught her in a swimsuit she’d never usually wear. But Mara had given her a deal and Tilly had walked out with three swimsuits for the price of one.
His gaze licked up her neck and she shivered. Another move that didn’t escape his notice. He caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers.
“Cold?”
“No,” she whispered.
He dropped his gaze to her lips and his head bent.
OhGodohGodohGod. Her eyelids drifted shut and her lips parted.
He hovered over her mouth, but didn’t touch her. She opened her eyes as he straightened.
He cleared his throat and spun around. “Your room. I forgot, sorry.”
So it was like that. She snagged his elbow and stalked in front of him. She was so not missing this opportunity.
Grabbing his face in both hands, she rose to her toes and smashed her mouth on his.
He stumbled back in surprise until his back hit the front door, but then he snaked his arms around her. His lips went from tense with surprise to supple under hers. Within a second, he took control and kissed her back until he stole her breath. Palms flat on her ass, he pulled her flush against him. To save her balance, she circled her arms around his shoulders.
Oh yes. His tongue swept in and she opened for him. He was heat, man, and lingering sandwich. She rocked into him, anything to ease the quivering in her sex his kiss caused.
His arousal grew between them, a hard length as big as her imagination.
Who’s a lucky girl? She deepened the kiss, causing her belly to rub against his erection.
He jolted, his head flinging back and hitting the door.
“Ow, damn.” His firm grip was now on her upper arms as he sidled out and around her.
Once he let go, she pressed her fingers to her temple. Her head was spinning! He kissed even better than she’d fantasized. But he was uncomfortable, for whatever reason. She tried not to be offended, but she would’ve been just fine letting things run their course right here against the door. On the floor. She didn’t care.
“Well, we got that over with.” She said it more to cover the hurt that he’d pushed her away. Had she done something wrong? None of her exes had ever complained.
His brow furrowed, and he swung his gaze back toward her.
She shrugged. His gaze flickered, like he was going to check out her cleavage again but didn’t.
“It seemed like we were going to and then you almost walked away, so I got it over with.”
“Got it over with,” he echoed.
Bobbing her head like this was an ordinary conversation, she smiled. “Yep. Now you can show me my room and I can go dip a toe in the lake.”
“And I’ll go grab my protein for the week.” He frowned. “Steaks. I eat meat for protein.”
“I gathered that. You must work out.” She shot him a wicked smile, but he looked as dazed as before. Always with the awkwardness. “Have a good drive.”
She hitched her luggage and breezed past him, but when she got to the hall by the stairs, he said, “The sleeping areas are in the upper level.”
Changing course, she muscled her luggage to the first stair, but it was lifted out of her hands. The way Flynn jogged up the stairs, his jean shorts snug around his epic ass, the suitcase didn’t weigh as much for him as it did for her.
She followed him to the landing at the top. Three doors surrounded a seating area. Slowing down, she did a one-eighty. What a beautiful setting to plan tutoring lessons. The logs gave it a rustic appeal, but the plush carpet was soft enough to sleep on. The chairs were all overstuffed and faced the railing that overlooked the rest of the cabin. The beams that arched across the ceiling looked close enough to swing on.
“This place is breathtaking.”
She got no reply. Treading along the path Flynn’s shoes had left in the carpet, she peeked in each room. One was a bathroom with—
“Oh my God, is that a jetted tub?” Flipping on the light as she charged in, she gasped. “It is!” She clapped and jumped up and down.
Flynn finally appeared in the doorway of what must be her room. “It’s small, though.”
“Are you serious? Small is a bucket to wash out of. This is heaven.” Hopefully, he took that as a random comparison and not a literal one. Technically, it’d been a basin.
She turned the light off and went to the door Flynn wasn’t standing in. “Your room?” Not waiting for his answer, she walked inside. “Whoa. Everything in this place is so nice. You even have your own bathroom? How many bathrooms does this place have?”
“Three. And there’s a hot tub on the back deck, but I have to get it ready.”
She sucked in a breath; otherwise she was going to squeal and she knew he didn’t handle that well. “You better not be lying.”
He gave her a steady look. “It’s just a hot tub.”
The kitchen. The tubs. The whole stinking cabin. He owned his own business.
“You’re rich, aren’t you?”
Some high schools were in better neighborhoods than others. The one she’d gone to had never been about personal wealth, but there had been a ton of wealthy kids, several that had made her school life hell. She’d never realized he was one of them.
“I do all right.”
The look she passed him had to be droll. “‘All right’ isn’t a small jetted tub and a hot tub on the deck of your vacation home.” When his expression turned guarded, she clarified. “There’s nothing wrong with having money. It’s about perspective. I’ve never sat in either tub.” For a long time, she’d barely had a pot to piss in—literally. “I’ve never had a fridge the size of my car. I’ve never owned my own home, much less two. And that’s okay, too.”
He cocked his head, but she kept going.
“I’ve never been to the lake before, either. To you, this might be a normal getaway, just a typical break in your routine, but this is my first vacation ever. I’m very glad I get to have all these new experiences, and to do it with someone I know.” Not alone, like she’d always been.
When the words had spilled out, they felt right. But he was gaping at her.
Enough chitchat. She had brownies to bake, a lake to swim in, two tubs to relax in, and only seven more days to do it in.
Flynn hauled her bag into her room. As the list of things Tilly hadn’t done grew longer and longer, Flynn had felt smaller and smaller. She’d always been the wacky girl who lusted after him. Now she was becoming a person, one clearly better than him, though that wouldn’t be hard. She was a special education teacher. As soon as she heard about what he’d done after graduation, she’d think he was the lousiest human to have walked the earth.
He was about to castrate himself for that kiss, and it didn’t matter if his hands still begged to be filled with her flesh.
Where’d she learned to kiss like that? No hesitation, no coyness—full throttle, like the girl herself.
Just as that thought completed, she hooked her thumbs in her waistband and dropped her shorts.
His breath froze. Long legs kicked the shorts away. He wanted to lick his way up her body and wrap them around his waist. Her swim bottoms were cute as fuck with the matching top, and the combo set her gray eyes sparkling.
She looked around and spotted the bag he’d set on the luggage rack.
He should leave, but she was going to go digging in that bag and his feet wouldn’t move.
Da-yum. The erection that had finally flagged roared back to life. She bent over the bag to retrieve something from inside and he stared at her ass the whole time.
Other women, he’d know they were doing this on purpose, but Tilly seemed absolutely unaware of the effect she had. She straightened and reached back to gather her hair.
He suppressed a groan. In the full-length mirror on the opposite wall, her breasts rose with her arms in the air, and he stood riveted the entire time she gathered her hair into a messy bun.
“Is there a path to the lake?”
He couldn’t answer right away. How hard would it be to crowd her back to the bed and rip that suit off with his teeth? One flick of his wrist and he’d be buried in that wet heat.
Her head tilted. “Are you okay?” She glided toward him, her hand going for his forehead. “You look flushed. You aren’t running a fever, are you?”
He caught her wrist—and found himself in the same damn position as earlier when he’d been about to kiss her. It was even harder to remember why not.
“Flynn?” Her eyes grew wide. She swallowed hard, her gaze glued to his hand.
His name should’ve been a cold splash of reality, but it was her reaction. He loosened his grip.
Fuck, nothing he was doing was working. He could move out for the week, but that would negate the bachelor contract and be rude as hell.
“I’m trying to stay away from you,” he said instead.
She opened her mouth, then closed it. Her lips turned down. “Do you want to?”
“No.” He snarled the word. “You had such a big fucking crush on me in school—I wasn’t going to lead you on.”
“But you want me?”
“Yes.” He still gripped her arm, but his thumb caressed her skin.
“Did you want me then?”
Some of his aggression eased. “No.”
Her arm went limp and he let it go. Ah, hell. He’d hurt her feelings.
She glanced away. “You were always awkward around me. I didn’t know it was because you didn’t like me.”
Okay, this was working. This was creating distance between them. He’d keep going as much as it hurt him. “I called you Crazy J.”
Her eyes flared, first with shock and then hurt. “I…I…didn’t know.”
“You seemed like a nutcase, Tulip, but I don’t think you are. Why?”
“Don’t call me that!”
Her venomous tone pushed him back a step. “It was your name. Why’d you change it?”
“Because I never liked it.” She cradled her arm to herself. He hadn’t grabbed her hard, but from the faraway look in her eye, the action only symbolized the upheaval in her mind. Then she slanted him a look. “Crazy J, really?”
He chuckled. “You sounded a little wacky when you had your jaw wired shut.” She made a choking sound and he grew somber. “It’s okay, Tilly. We’re all awkward as kids.”
“Awkward doesn’t describe braces as a teenager.”
“You did pick neon pink and yellow.”
She shifted her gaze to look out the window and lifted a shoulder. “Go big or go home, right?”
Her tone was flat. He’d expected her to own her jaw surgery and brilliant braces; they’d fit her whole look back then. What else would her motivation have been?
She was staring out the window. Blue glittered in the distance. He didn’t want to leave, but he’d get the supply run over with so he could…what? Watch her? Hang with her?
“Do you know how to swim?” Yeah, that was why he was in a hurry to get back. Didn’t want Tilly drowning while he was perusing prime cuts of steak. His heart rate kicked up at the thought.
“No. Why? I won’t go out far.”
“Then wait until I get back from town.” She was about to argue but he shushed her with a finger on her lips. Bad decision. Too soft, too plump, too tempting. He snatched his hand away. “Test the jets on this tub and I’ll get the hot tub running tonight after you check out the lake.”
Her pink tongue darted out to lick where his finger had been. She was going to kill him.
“Fine,” she grumbled, but the Tilly light was back in her eyes.
For a second, he thought of hanging around to see if she’d strip out of her bikini in front of him like she had with her shorts.
He turned on his heel and made a beeline for the front door. How was he going to survive a week without touching her?
***
Tilly laid her laptop next to her on the seat. It was useless. A blond-haired, green-eyed bachelor was clogging too many of her thought processes. Her lesson plans would have to wait. She was on vacation.
When would Flynn get back? Would he take his time?
The kiss had made him so skittish. She’d had no clue why, but he’d certainly filled her in.
Crazy J.
They had called her that? She couldn’t argue. As an adult, she was nothing but honest with herself, but she’d sugarcoated some parts of growing up. Tears pricked her eyes. Nope, every minute of it had sucked.
At least Flynn hadn’t shunned her outright. She might not have survived the humiliation.
Hadn’t there been any part of him that had been just a teeny bit interested?
Jaw wired shut.
Nope. She could see that clearly now. No wonder she hadn’t dated until college—and she’d even started college a year later than normal.
She rubbed her eyes and stretched. Flynn had suggested a bath, but she wasn’t wasting the water if she was going in the lake. She’d luxuriate in the jets afterward.
But that didn’t mean she had to sit around and wait for a guy, even if that guy was her dream man. She rubbed her wrist. When he’d grabbed it, adrenaline had flooded her veins. Lingering survival instincts. But his expression had been more panicked, nothing close to the rage she’d seen in her dad’s eyes.
She tucked her computer away. Yes, a walk was a good idea. Waiting for Flynn to get back before she did anything was something her mom would’ve done. Probably still did. She wouldn’t know, hadn’t talked to them for over twelve years and didn’t want to.
Taking the stairs, Tilly evaluated her outfit. She’d thrown the shorts back on and a pair of flip-flops, but she only planned a walk, not a hike. This should be fine. The yellow bat wings across her breasts lifted her mood. She would’ve never walked around home with just a swim top, but once Flynn had seen her in it, why bother to be embarrassed? Just because she never showed off her body didn’t mean she was ashamed of it. Clothes were a necessity; she’d never had the money for them to be fashionable.
She’d love to wear more clothing that would incite Flynn’s reaction. He’d always acted stunned around her, unsure of what to say or do, but today had been different. The look in his eye when she’d caught him staring at her breasts or her stomach…
She grinned. Day one of this vacation had started out awesome.
Warm air enveloped her as soon as she stepped outside. She toed along the stone path that ended at a narrow trail down to the lake.
A low laugh of delight escaped. A dock! Walk first, soak the toesies later.
Leaves rustled around her as a gentle breeze blew off the lake. The air cooled her off. In a couple of months, it’d be hot and muggy, but at the beginning of June, the wind was perfect.
A girl could get used to this. She closed her eyes and inhaled a slow breath. Stress rolled off her in waves as she imagined it dripping off her fingertips. How had she not realized how tense she’d been? For so many years. She couldn’t remember a time she hadn’t lived under a mountain of stress and anxiety. Meals were no longer an uncertain event, but she had to work hard to provide them and she only had herself to worry about.
Not true. She fretted terribly over her kids, both those in her class and the ones she tutored. Anxious thoughts plagued her constantly about being able to maintain the level of clients she needed for tutoring. She adored teaching, but her dream was to open her own business, one designed solely for one-on-one tutoring, and she wanted to fund-raise and develop grants to make it affordable for all families.
She’d been so busy worrying about her hopes and dreams tanking—and watching where she stepped on the rough sandy shore with only her sandals—that when she looked up, she was already on another cabin’s property.
Oops. She turned around. Flynn’s cabin and even his dock weren’t visible from where she stood. On the way back, she closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sun. Spending her vacation worrying wasn’t going to help anything. She had to relax and table her thoughts for a few days, but her lifelong habit of planning for the future was more a survival instinct and harder to set aside.
A man’s voice drifted on the wind. She hoped she hadn’t intruded on another couple’s lake getaway.
She opened her eyes before she veered into the water. Flynn came jogging around the bend, his gait relaxed but his face tense.
“Tilly. Fuck, you scared me.” He stopped in front of her.
“Why in the world were you scared about me?” No one cared about her.
Her throat grew thick as that statement echoed in her head. Sometimes, no matter how hard she tried to maintain her optimism, her true feelings emerged.
“I got back and the cabin was empty. You said you didn’t know how to swim but I couldn’t find you outside, either.” He glanced around. The water was to her right, trees to her left, and another plush cabin at her back. “What were you doing?”
He really had been worried about her. Best vacation ever. “I ran out of sugar and thought I’d ask these nice folks if they could loan me some.” She grinned and playfully punched him on the shoulder. “I was just going for a walk before I sat on the dock and hung my feet in. But now that you’re here, I can go wading.”
She continued on her path and he fell into step beside her. She peppered him with questions about what he’d bought, what she should cook with it, if they could go fishing. He muttered that he didn’t have a boat and glowered at the path in front of them.
He went from relieved to sullen. Had she done something wrong? Had the sandwich worn off? Was he hangry now?
She brushed it off. The lake beckoned. She shed her sandals and shorts. Small rocks bit into her feet and she jumped and danced into the water.
“Oh my god, it’s cold,” she squealed but kept plowing in. Giggles escaped as the waves lapped higher on her legs, sending shivers rippling over her body. She threw her head back and laughed with pure delight.
The lake bottom wasn’t any more comfortable on her feet than the shore, but she managed to wobble around.
Flynn was staring at her, his hands shoved in his pockets, as still as a statue.
“Are you coming in?” She glided her hands around, letting cool water slide through her fingers. She was only halfway down the length of the dock, the water to the tops of her thighs. Her feet were visible.
His throat worked like he was going to speak, but he just shook his head.
“What’s wrong?”
His gaze dipped to her belly. “Nothing. I need to start the grill.”
Then why didn’t he? He didn’t move. “Oh, but you’re acting as my lifeguard and can’t until I’m done.” She held up two fingers. “Two more minutes.”
He gave her a curt nod.
She might’ve pushed it to five minutes, even ten, as she frolicked in the water. The only thing warding off a chill from the cool water was the heat of his gaze licking across her. He was either taking his lifeguarding duties seriously, or she was getting to him. She waded back to shore and grinned to herself. The mighty Flynn might just find her attractive.