Dumb fuck. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?

I didn’t have to sneak into Dad’s office or steal the folder. There’s no need to resort to espionage at all.

I’m at the Westfield Center now, doing what I should’ve been doing since the beginning.

My mind has been such a clusterfuck. I want to find Piper, but it didn’t even occur to me to search where I first saw her.

She works here, somewhere in this mall. Unfortunately, that’s all I know. Fortunately, I’m willing to spend all day, every day here if that’s what it takes to find her.

I don’t even care that this place gives me PTSD flashbacks of a childhood spent waiting endlessly outside changing rooms and carrying shopping bags for my mom, aunt, and cousin.

I’ve been combing through every store, checking everyone who looks remotely like Piper. Blonde ponytail, average height, sexy curves.

It reminds me a little bit of how I used to check out the salesgirls at the mall to pass the time. This time, though, there’s a lot more at stake.

It has nothing to do with fooling my family into thinking I have a fiancée anymore. I just need her back in my life. I’d do anything to make that happen.

A blonde with a ponytail smiles at me when I glance at her. She steps forward, holding out a tray of sample chocolates. I give her a nod and walk past her. Normally, I’d be all over those samples.

That’s right. I mean business.

It takes about three hours, but I finally find Piper, in a shoe store I’ve already passed once or twice—I don’t even know; I’ve lost count.

She’s working in a shoe store. I must not have seen her because she was bending down to put some products on the floor. Or maybe she has just gotten here for her shift.

Who cares? All that matters is she’s here.

But my steps get slower as soon as I see her right in front of me. My stomach swirls with anxiety, and I feel like I’m about to be sick.

Stop being so fucking lame, I tell myself.

I’ve never been awkward around girls. It has always been easy for me to find someone to be with me.

But Piper’s different. She’s not just any girl.

So what if she’s still pissed off? So what if she tells me to leave her alone?

I can always come back another day and try again. I’ll try and try until I get her back. There is no other option.

Alright. I can do this.

As I enter the store, walking between stacks of shoe boxes as high as my waist, Piper is ringing up a customer at the counter.

“Can I help you?” A guy in his mid-twenties approaches me. Piper’s co-worker.

It’s crazy, but I get the urge to shove him against the display shoes lining the wall behind him. And his only fault is he gets to see my girl every day, while I have to suffer without her.

“Yeah,” I say, giving him a polite smile, despite the fact that I’m raging inside like a crazy caveman. “I want to buy every pair of men’s shoes in my size.”

The guy’s eyes grow wide. His eyebrows jump up so high I’m worried they might disappear into his hairline.

Yeah, he heard me. He stops for a second to look me up and down, lingering on the Rolex around my wrist and my designer Italian leather shoes.

“I’ll go to the back and get the shoes for you,” he says hurriedly, like he’s afraid I’d regain my senses and change my mind.

“Thank you.”

He takes two steps, stops in his tracks, and turn around. “Wait, what size are you?”

“Twelve.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

By the time he rushes behind the counter, Piper is done with her customer. He says something to her, and she turns to look at me.

The look on her face… I don’t even know what to call it. It’s like she can’t even decide how to feel about having me here.

Her doe eyes grow bigger like she’s surprised, then the corners of her lips start to curl up like she’s glad to see me, but then she scowls like she’s annoyed that I’m here.

Oh, well. At least it doesn’t look like she completely hates my guts.

“Hey.” I give her a smile and approach the counter.

“What are you doing here?” Piper asks.

“Well, this is a shoe store, so…buying shoes?” I hope a joke will help lighten the mood.

“Uh-huh. Buying the whole store, it seems like.”

“What can I say? I’m like the male version of that girl in Sex and the City.” I watch her stare flatly at me, so I change my tack. Grinning, I say, “Okay, you got me. I’m actually here to see you. Surprise.”

No reaction. Okay, that wasn’t very funny, I guess.

I let out a big sigh. “I’m so relieved to see you, Piper. I really thought I’d never see you again.”

She continues to stare with her lips firmly shut.

“Piper, I’m so sorry,” My chest tightens. Is this how guilt feels? It’s fucking heavy. “I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

She doesn’t say anything, but I don’t expect her to forgive me right away.

Her moving out sent me a very clear message that she’s serious about ending things between us. I should’ve seen that determination when we were having the fight; I should’ve insisted on staying.

But at least she’s still here, listening. With the only other staff member busy in the back, Piper is manning the store on her own now. I have a captive audience. I should take this chance to say all the things I want her to know.

“Listen, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I know I’ve been a lying jerk who never seems to take anything seriously,” I say, repeating the same words that Piper, Dad, and Diana have all used.

I didn’t see it before because I was too focused on getting the next clue to find Piper. But as I was walking around the mall, I had time to be on my own with my thoughts.

And I see it now. I see how oblivious I’ve been.

“I know you’re not ready to forgive me now, but that’s okay. I don’t need you to forgive me right this minute. But I’ll earn it. I’ll do anything you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to do anything, Rafe,” she says.

Like an idiot, my heart skips a beat when my name slips out from her mouth. I want to grab her and crush my lips against hers, claim her as mine again. But I can’t do that.

“But I want to do everything for you. Is that so wrong?”

“It’s pretty selfish of you.” Her words stab into my chest like a knife.

“Ouch,” I say.

She shrugs, staring at me flatly.

“I’m so sorry, princess. I know I hurt you. I shouldn’t have. I want to tell you that I didn’t mean to do that in any way, but that probably doesn’t change the fact that I did.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“I’m hurting more than you know,” I say, getting a little choked up. I inhale deeply to regain my composure. Gazing into her baby blues, I say, “I want to make it up to you.”

“How am I supposed to even know you’re telling the truth right now?” Piper asks, sadness flickering in her eyes as they start to fill with water. She looks away from me and blinks a few times to stop herself from crying.

I want to reach out and pull her into my arms, tell her everything’s going to be fine, convince her we can fix this, but I know that’s just going to make her angry. I need to gain her trust first.

“All I can tell you is I’m being as honest as I can,” I say. “I wish there was some kind of proof I could show you.”

“But that’s the point, Rafe. What’s the point, if I need you to prove every little thing? What’s the point of us, if we can’t even trust each other?” Piper’s voice gets higher, even as it cracks with emotions.

“I trust you,” I say softly.

“But I don’t trust you.” She speaks just as softly, but the two words hit me like a cannonball.

I already know she doesn’t trust me, so why does it still hurt when I hear her say it?

“I don’t know what I can do to convince you that this is me, being as real as I can be. I’ve been miserable without you. I feel even worse than I did when I was in prison. I’d rather go back there than be apart from you.” I pause. “That doesn’t make much sense, does it? Because you wouldn’t be in prison.”

“Yeah,” Piper says with a humorless expression.

“I love you,” I blurt out before I can stop myself.

I cringe inwardly as soon as the words come out of my mouth, but it’s too late. They’re out there now.

And I know she’s not going to buy it, even though I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.

Piper studies my face. Her eyes look sad, then she sighs and looks down. “I can’t do this, Rafe.”

“I know. I want us to start over. I want to promise you that I’ll do better, that I’ll make it up to you. I want to promise you that I’ll always tell the truth, no matter how hard it is.” I let my words hang in the air. Stupidly, I still hope she’ll change her mind and give me another chance. When she remains quiet, I add, “But I know that’s a lot to ask. So I’ll show you that I mean everything I say. I hope you’ll see I’m being honest.”

Piper just looks at me blankly, not saying anything.

The store room door opens, and the guy from earlier comes out with a stack of shoe boxes in his arms. It’s so high I can barely see his eyes peeking above it.

“This is half of what we have in stock for all men’s shoes in size twelve,” he says as he rounds the counter.

“He just told me he doesn’t need to try them on, James,” Piper says, keeping her beautiful blue eyes on me. “He just wants to pay and leave.”

The guy looks at me with confusion, like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.

“I’ll go to the back and get the rest,” Piper says.

“I put them aside right by the door,” James says.

“Okay, got it.” With that, Piper disappears behind the door, where I can’t follow her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try them on?” James asks.

“Yeah. Just ring them up.” If that’s what Piper wants, then I’ll play along.

“Okay.” James slowly lowers the stack of boxes onto the counter, careful not to tilt it too much.

As he scans the boxes one by one, an idea strikes me. This James guy looks like he can seize an opportunity when he sees one.

“James, right?” I ask.

He looks up from the boxes and smiles as he asks, “Yeah. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“As a matter of fact, there is one thing.”

I tell him my request. He seems surprised, but it doesn’t take him long to say yes.

I’m going to leave this store like Piper wants me to.

But I’ll be back. And I’ll show her I mean everything I say to her from today onward.