India
JJ is laughing at something Leo is saying as they sit on their precious bikes waiting to leave. Leo lights one of his cigarettes and blows out a long stream of smoke. Is it too much to ask that he blows the shit in JJ’s face and he gets lung disease from it. Actually, that’s a little harsh, but still, they’re both jerks. More so JJ than Leo, but they can both annoy the crap out of me. Still, I showed him he can’t put his hands on me without my permission. Sparky struts by them both and climbs on his bike. In less than a minute, Leo is tying a bandana around his nose and mouth, leaving only his eyes open, and the sounds of thirty-odd bikes rumble through the club. Some brothers ride out first, all making sure they’re in the right formation and then I hear, “They’ll never look at you the way they look at me, not seriously.”
I watch the last brother ride out through the gates, off to grab the guy who shot uncle Cas, and lift my eyes to see Pippa standing to the side of me.
“Good,” I snap.
“Please, if you stood a chance, you’d be all over them,” she snipes.
Pushing up in front of her, I actually hate how much she is talking to me.
“It’s funny you think I’m a threat to you. One, if they look at me how they look at you, then I’d truly know they don’t respect me like they don’t you, and two, Leo and JJ are the biggest sluts around here, I have every chance with them, you’re lucky that they don’t stand a chance with me. You need to back down now before your jealousy gets you hurt.”
I swear, if steam could burst from her ears, they would be steaming right now. I stand up, bringing myself face to face with her.
“Or, I could have them both and get in your way at every opportunity, just to mess with you.”
“India? What’s going on?”
Fuck.
“Daddy to the rescue once again,” Pippa snorts and makes sure to side step around me, as not to touch me.
“Bitch.”
It isn’t long before dad’s shadow falls over me and he’s holding his hands on his hips.
“What’s going on now? What did she want?”
“Just a friendly chat,” I lie.
“Didn’t look friendly,” he points out.
“Well, it was.”
“And why were you punching JJ? You want me to have a word with him?”
This is why they think I nark on them. He assumes I need him to fight my battles all the time. I can’t sneeze without him knowing about it. I love him, of course I do, he’s my dad but he is stifling.
“I sorted it, dad. He was just being a douche and now he isn’t.”
Frowning, he isn’t happy, but he lets it go and changes the conversation.
“Come on, your mom called, she said you have two letters in the mail. They could be your acceptance letters.”
Hopefully they’re not good news, and I’ll get to stay home and do what I want to do, which isn’t go to college.
I rest my head against the seat as dad drives away from the clubhouse and Pippa’s tinny, annoying voice haunts me.
What is it with guys and girls like her? They show so much skin; the guys can’t see girls like me who have more to offer than dropping to my knees. Or perhaps that’s how you get a boyfriend, give them what they want, and then get what you want when you’ve reeled them in. Gah, it can’t be like that. Boys, they’re as complicated as they make out girls are.
“Are you sure, you’re okay? You’re really quiet,” Dad murmurs as he pulls onto our drive.
“I’m fine, dad. Boys are dickheads, and girls are bitches.”
I don’t bother waiting around for a reply. As soon as the car comes to a stop, I throw open the door and jump down from dad’s truck.
Mom is waiting on the porch, holding the envelopes in her hand, and guilt sets in when I see how excited she is. I want the contents to be the opposite of what she’s hoping for.
“Come on, I can’t wait much longer,” she beams, holding them out for me to take.
I plant a smile on my face and take them from her. They are so eager to know we don’t make it inside before I’m ripping open the first envelope.
The wad of papers inside are thick and I don’t need anymore than the first line on the front page.
I’m in.
I pass it over to mom and open the second envelope and mimic the same motions of the first letter.
Again, I’m in.
This time, I pass it over to dad.
I become the filling in a sandwich when they hug each other around me and she squeals in delight.
Me, I can’t wait to get to my room.
“Indie, darlin’, I’m so fucking proud of you. This is such an achievement.”
“Thanks, dad.”
Of course I’m happy to get into two different colleges, but it doesn’t mean I want to go. Many of my friends from school can’t wait to leave town and move on to the bigger cities, but not me. This is my home and it always will be.
This mini celebration on the porch is for my mom and dad, so I slip out and walk inside. I head up to my room and my stomach sinks when I think I won’t be here in a few months.
“Indie?” mom yells from downstairs.
I open my door and stick my head out.
“Yeah?”
“We’re going out for dinner, get ready.”
“Okay.”
I close the door and pick out an outfit that will be acceptable for celebrating and still appropriate for my mood.
My reflection in the mirror catches my attention more than it has done before. I pull out my hair tie and let my hair fall around my shoulders and down my back, it’s glossy and healthy. My face is symmetrical and not bad to look at. My teeth are white, clean and straight. I wouldn’t say I’m ugly, shrugging my shoulders, I like how I look.
Stripping out of my top and jeans, I stand in my underwear and really look at myself. I haven’t done this before, I feel like I’m getting to know myself for the first time.
My stomach narrows above my hips and my breasts sit comfortably in my bra. Not too big, but not too small, they are just right for me. Standing with my feet together, I have a slight thigh gap between my toned and slender legs.
My figure is small, like Pippa’s and Zara’s, and many of the others that hang around the club.
Size wise, I’m no different to them. I just like to keep majority of my body covered modestly and they prefer to show theirs off.
It goes to show that looks don’t always override personality. It must be me, why no one comes near me.