DECK

Every hiss of pain from Charlie hit me dead centre in my heart. They belonged to me. I owned them. My cross to bear.

Even though it was breaking me to watch her get the four sutures it took to close the wound on her delicate thigh, I stood there and faced it like it was my punishment. Penance for leaving her alone in the park, forgetting her like she meant nothing. But that was so far from the truth. She was everything, and I was ashamed I forgot that even if it was unintentional and because my mind was focused solely on my daughter.

So we were back sitting in the main room after Darth finished taking care of Charlie, and I’d carried her back to our room so she could see for herself that Shiloh was okay. Her love of my daughter warmed me, confirming I chose the right woman for our hearts. Shiloh’s and mine.

While Charlie was with Shiloh, I took a few minutes to go over with Booth exactly how much he wanted Charlie to know. His decision surprised me, but he was our pres for a reason, and we had nothing but trust in his abilities in leading this club, this family.

 

————

 

“Darth, close off the kitchen door, please, brother,” Booth asked as he took a chair from the dining table, turned it, and straddled it. He was sitting smack-dab in front of Charlie and me. We were in the comfortable recliner chair with Charlie on my knee, her legs across my lap. I had one hand resting on her back, rubbing small circles, and the other was on her hurt thigh just below the now stitched wound. A small piece of gauze covered it from any potential germs.

Booth had sent Mia home, Stella was in the kitchen, but she knew to stay put until one of us came in and opened the door. And Vegas was in my room still, sitting with Shiloh. I wasn’t ready for her to be alone just yet, and if it couldn’t be Charlie or Darth or me with her, Vegas was happy to spend time with her and catch up on her reading while Shiloh slept.

“Stella okay in there?” Booth asked.

Darth made his way to one of the other dining chairs set in a semicircle in front of Charlie. The only one not sitting on a chair was Ford. He had set up a temporary table with his ever-present laptop and iPad. Charlie’s attention was important, and Booth would insist on it. Bringing her into the fold on a deeper level like this showed a level of trust I had never known him to show a woman.

“Yeah, Pres. She understands and says she has plenty to do in there. I got the prospects guarding the door outside.”

At the mention of Seb and Squid, my anger reared its head again. I had yet to deal with those two fuckers for letting my girls go without protection.

Booth just nodded. He was a man of few words, but what he did say had you listening up and taking notice. I respected him more than I ever respected anyone else in my life.

“Charlotte, first let me ask you, did you notice anything out of the ordinary today at the park?” Booth inquired.

“Yes, I noticed a dark blue truck, like what you all drive only a little less on steroids, driving around the park.”

We all snorted at the steroids comment.

“At first, I was a bit concerned, but I noticed it had one of those yellow flashing lights on the roof, so I came to the conclusion it was one of those vehicles that drive around and takes photos of areas for that map thing on the internet.”

Tapping her on her hip, I got her attention. “Why would you think that?” I asked curiously.

Charlie shrugged her good shoulder. “I saw a thin black cylindrical thingy hanging out the window. I saw it move slowly at times. I guessed it was a camera lens or something like that.”

Every one of us tensed. My body was hard as a rock under Charlie’s, and not in a good way. We knew exactly what that ‘thingy’ was. A fucking sniper rifle with my girls in its sights for God knew how long, toying with the thought of shooting them.

Charlie must have felt the tension radiating from me because she took my hand from her leg and threaded her fingers with mine. She gave me a gentle squeeze, and I uncoiled straightaway. With just one small gesture from her, I was okay.

“Ford,” was all Booth said, and the geek slash soldier slash biker’s fingers were moving fast across the keyboard. Booth was looking intently at Charlie, and I could see he was sizing up what he was going to say. “As you know, all of us here were in the army together. We were a part of an extremely elite team of commandos. All of us have a particular skill that makes us useful to the team. With me so far, Teach?”

Charlie’s only response was a nod, but her eyes had fixed completely on Booth. Respectful.

“So, after a particularly difficult mission, we were making our way back to our FOB, which was pretty secluded, and along the way, we got hit from all sides. No one saw it coming, and nothing could have stopped it. Ammo was low, and we were all wiped mentally and physically. We operated within the proper parameters, but mistakes were made due to extenuating circumstances, and we lost two really good men and friends.” Booth’s voice had taken on a ghost-like quality to it. He was lost in his head, and we could all see it, even Charlie.

She leaned over as far as she could without falling off my lap, but I grabbed onto her waist so she couldn’t. She touched Booth softly on the forearm, being careful not to overstep her limits with a man with PTSD. She kept all her movements slow and gentle.

I saw him tense slightly before he surprised me by grabbing onto her hand and holding onto it like a lifeline. His eyes were nearly blank. The blame he had taken on from that day would weigh on him down forever. I knew how he felt because I carried the guilt of that day with me, too.

Out of all of us there, I was the one who could compartmentalise. That day would stay with me forever, and some nights, when I closed my eyes, the cries of our fallen brothers tortured me. But I could also understand the circumstances leading up to it and during it were all completely out of our control. Booth was our commanding officer, and he saw his job as one to bring everyone home at the end of each mission.

In that case, he did not succeed.

In his opinion only.

Steel reached out and gripped Booth hard on his shoulder, giving Booth some of his strength. Without being asked to, the Soul’s VP took over the telling to give Booth a break, which he needed. “Things have been happening to the club recently that started out as small shit but is slowly getting more serious. Messing with permits, health department complaints, and orders going wrong. Small stuff like that. One of our brothers is still active and is still over in the sandbox. He recently got hit while in the FOB. That should never have happened the way it did. It points to someone doing it from the inside. And today, we found some footage pointing towards someone watching our businesses and the compound.” Steel paused, and I could see he was considering his next words. “Whoever this is, he is also watching you and Shiloh,” he finished solemnly.

I could feel Charlie tense in my lap again. My gut was telling me to wrap her in bubble wrap, then hide her in our room with Shiloh and not let them out until we found the fucker and dealt with whoever was doing this. But I kept still. I had to show her the trust I knew I had in her—even though I had just given her cause to doubt me on that.

“Questions, Teach?” Mannix piped up.

Slowly nodding her head, Charlie looked up at Steel. “Yes, I have three.”

He gave her a chin lift and waited for her to go on.

“Is Shiloh safe?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

Her head nodded slightly, and my heart burst. Fuck, she loved my daughter.

“Will you find this person?”

“No fucking doubt.”

“And just one more… What is FOB?”

Her last question caused us all to stare at her wide-eyed. Then Booth burst out in a full-on belly laugh.

Chuckling, I turned her head, my fingers gently gripping her chin. “Sweetness, you are too fucking cute. A FOB is a forward operating base,” I said, then pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Oh, of course, it is.” Her smile was bright and nearly back to the smile she smiled just for me.

Fuck, I did this to her. I’d made her doubt her worth to me. But never again, I vowed. Never ever again.

“Okay, gentlemen, I think it’s time I leave you to it and take myself off to bed. There is a little blue-eyed girl I need to snuggle with.” Charlie tapped my hand and looked at me. “Help me to our room, honey?”

Our room.

How big of a pussy would my brothers think I was if I were to burst into tears right now?

I took my time with Charlie and Shiloh after I’d carried Charlie back to our room. Charlie’s reaction to everything that went down today surprised me. Humbled me even. She had every right to have a bitch fit, really dig in her heels and make me pay big time for my fuck-up of all fuck-ups, but she didn’t. Obviously, she was upset, but she was letting me fix it by proving myself and my love and the trust I had for her.

So I left my woman with my daughter, snuggling together in our bed with a copy of Swan Lake playing in the DVD player along with colouring books and coloured pencils littering the bed. The sight of them together healed my aching heart. The ache coming from the horrible events that led me to leave my woman alone in a park, wounded and scared. My anger and hatred were for the prick playing with our lives. One of our fucking own! How could any army brother commit this ultimate betrayal of loyalty? The thought of it all left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Walking back into the main room forty minutes later, I saw that my blood brother had joined us. His cold eyes turned to me as soon as I entered.

Jesus, I am too tired for this shit tonight. What I really wanted to do was join my girls in bed and hold them both all night long, righting my universe again. Expelling a sharp breath, I sucked in my mood and put my game face on.

“Prick,” I greeted him in my usual way. Our mother hated the way we were with one another, but even without the whole Zoe thing, we had never seen eye to eye.

Most people thought twins were the best of friends, feeling each other’s pain and finishing the other’s sentences and shit like that. But Jason and I did not get that part. We were fraternal twins and had been at war most of our lives

Well, since our early teen years, at least.

“Wanker,” he acknowledged, but I saw his usual smirk was lacking its normal snarl. “Shy-shy okay?” he asked.

I saw his concern for his niece, and I could be a prick and draw out the answer, but I knew how much she meant to him. His last link to his wife. I quickly nodded my head. “Yeah, she’s fine. Sleeping on and off right now in bed with Charlie.”

Jason looked off towards the rooms, and I knew he wanted to see her.

“How about you have her this weekend if you are off work. Maybe take her to mum and dad’s place. Mum has been on my case about seeing her, and I have been meaning to take Charlie up there to meet them, but too much shit is going on, and I can’t take the time.”

His expression lightened at the idea. “Yeah, I would like that. Maybe we can take some flowers to Zoe.”

We were both quiet for a moment, but I couldn’t get lost in that day anymore. I had spent far too much time in the past as it was. I hadn’t allowed myself to move on. Instead, I’d held onto Shiloh and kept her from having a mother, but now I’d found my sweetness. I hoped my brother could eventually find his again, too.

“Jason, you get anything from the video surveillance footage?” Booth interrupted. He had been a referee more than once with Jason and me, and I didn’t think he was in the mood for it at that moment.

And now Jason’s game face was on, too. “Yeah, I went through them myself. He never got out of his car once, but he followed them as they moved around the different playgrounds. The fucking arsehole must have known there were cameras. His face doesn’t show at all. But that fucking cannon he had hanging out the window of the truck was in plain sight for most of the footage,” Jason spat out in disgust.

“Could you see what type of weapon?” Steel asked.

“I sent a few still pics from the footage to your man Ford before I got here so you should be able to identify it and maybe figure out who has that type of rifle.”

“I hope so,” Steel answered, frustrated.

Without waiting for the order from Booth, Creed took off for wherever Ford went when I’d taken Charlie to bed. We knew it was a long shot, as most snipers in the commandos used the same type of rifle. Even down to the same colour as everyone else on the team.

My feeling was we were barking up the wrong tree. And my prediction was realised when Creed came back only a few minutes later with a look of annoyance on his face.

“AW50F, flash suppressor, .50 calibre, 686mm barrel, black.”

“Fuck it.” I growled, but Jason was looking at us confused.

“What? Surely there aren’t many out there in the hands of the public.”

“I’ve got one, and Creed has one. It ain’t a special weapon. Standard commando issue.

“What the fuck are you still doing with a sniper rifle when you ain’t active anymore?”

Steel gave Jason a smirk. “Who says we aren’t active.” His reply was immediate, and I knew it was full of shit. He was just playing with Jason, knowing there would be no way, even with his police contacts, to find out that he was discharged. None of us had any type of public record available for civilians to see. Everything about our commando team was sealed, which was why we were having such a hard time finding this rogue soldier. Sealed files.

“I don’t know about you boys, but I have had just about enough of this shit. If this rogue fucking soldier, as Deck has named him, wants to play with us, then we can play with him,” Booth boomed from his seat at the bar. A plate of Stella’s goodies was sitting in front of him. All of his favourites, too, I thought to myself with a silent laugh. She was getting to him, slowly but surely.

“What you got in mind, Pres?”

“I want to stop him seeing shit. Darth, talk to Ford about that scrambling software he made me pay for. Scramble this cunt out of our cameras. Add some extra not so conspicuous cameras around all the businesses and the compound. Add a few at Shiloh’s school. Find a way around that so the stuck-up, snotty boss lady at the day care sees it as a freebie. I want Squirt and Charlotte protected at all times.” Booth looked to where the bedrooms were and pointed that way. “Those two are never left alone. Squid and Seb have had an extra two months added to their time as prospects for dropping the ball. Darth, you’re up. You are excused from the construction site and the gun shop. You’re to shadow those girls when Deck isn’t with them. Got it?” Booth tossed Darth a hard look.

“Absolutely,” Darth answered immediately.

“We double up on them. If Deck is taking them to school, you still go with them. If Deck can’t, Darth, you grab someone else to go. Two pairs of eyes are better than one. We leave nothing to chance. Stay vigilant and alert.” Booth’s voice left no room for any arguments. He was done with this prick messing with his club. Our club.

I walked over to him, and placing my hand on his shoulder, I gave it a brief squeeze. “Thank you, brother,” I said, my voice choked with emotion.

“Don’t thank me, Deck. Shiloh has our hearts and has since the day she was born. There isn’t a fucking thing I wouldn’t do for our squirt. Or Teach. Charlotte is important to you, so she is important to the club. Now I am going to bed. It’s been a fucking long day. Get the prospects to lock up,” he called over his shoulder as he took off for his suite of rooms. They were off to the other side of the main room, close to the war room. In fact, he had a door connected directly to the war room.

I watched him go, and as he did, I noticed he looked at the closed kitchen door.

“Mannix, call Ingrid and have her come to me,” Booth yelled the request as he righted his step and took off.

There was a sudden crash from the kitchen. The sound of shattering porcelain. Booth’s steps faltered slightly, and his shoulders slumped very briefly, his head downcast.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Booth.” My reaction was immediate. I knew for fucking sure Stella heard it, too. The smashed piece of China didn’t happen on its own.

“Fuck me, Booth, really?” Mannix growled at the retreating back of our pres.

“Call her,” Booth shouted again.

“Call her your fucking self,” shouted back a soft, feminine and extremely pissed voice from the kitchen.

We all laughed, and I could hear a low chuckle coming from the direction of the war room.