Chapter 12
Once we’re inside the chalet, Jacob leads me up the stairs to the master bedroom. Like his penthouse in the city, this one has a massive king-sized bed, covered in a thick white duvet and soft-looking white sheets. But the floor-to-ceiling windows here look out over the lake instead of downtown Manhattan, and the trees from outside cast the room in a warm, slightly greenish glow.
Jacob runs his hands through my wet hair, and it drips onto the light Birchwood floor.
“Do you have a towel?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Forget the towel, Lily.”
“I’m going to get lake water all over your beautiful sheets.”
“Forget the sheets.”
“But I —”
He cuts me off with another kiss. This one is even hungrier than the last one, and this time I really do forget the sheets. And the towels. And my own name. I forget everything except the feel of Jacob’s mouth against mine, his hands against my naked back, his thick cock pressing between my legs. My knees start to shake and I lean against him and then in one swift motion, his picks me up in his arms and carries me over to the bed.
He lays me down gently and then climbs on top of me. His body feels huge and hulking above mine, but he’s touching me with a tenderness that I never would’ve expected. He pushes my hair out of my face and leans over to kiss me again. His lips against mine light a fire in my core, and I whimper.
I mewl again as he starts kissing his way down my neck, across my chest, and over my breasts. When his lips touch my nipple, I gasp. No one’s ever touched me there before. Jacob’s lips suck and pull and twist, until I’m writhing underneath him, and then he moves on and does the same thing to the other one.
God, I want him so badly.
“I can’t wait to be inside you,” he growls, as if echoing my thoughts.
“Me too,” I pant. “Oh, God, Jacob. I want you so bad.”
He growls against my skin and then raises himself up on his forearms. He looks down at me and shakes his head lightly, a grin crossing his face.
“What?” I pant again.
“Nothing,” he chuckles. “Just thinking how funny it is that we started the way we did.”
“Oh.” I smile a little. “Yeah. It… it feels different now, doesn’t it?” I feel nervous voicing the thought, but Jacob smiles and nods.
“It does. I don’t even care about getting back at your father anymore. You’ve helped me put all that in the past.”
My mind whirrs.
“Getting back at my father?” I repeat.
Jacob freezes, as if realizing what he just said.
“What are you talking about, Jacob?”
“Nothing,” he says. “Forget it.”
“No, I won’t forget it.” I’m sitting up now, crossing my arms over my chest. “What did you mean? You were the one doing the insider trading. Why would you want to get back at him?”
Jacob shakes his head. “Lily, I’m sorry, but —” He stops. Scrubs his hands over his face. Takes a deep breath. “No, nothing. You’re right. I was the one doing the insider trading. I was angry that he didn’t try to defend me.”
I lean forward. “That isn’t the truth, is it?” The reality of that is suddenly crystal clear to me. I don’t know how I know, but I do. “Tell me the truth.”
He shakes his head. “That is the truth. I’m a bastard. I did exactly what he said I did.”
“Why did the company get a put in a trust then? Why didn’t Dad stay on and run it?”
“He didn’t want to. Can we just change the subject?” His eyes look desperate, his voice pleading.
But I can’t let it go. “Tell me what he did.”
Jacob shakes his head. “Was your mother really sick?”
His question catches me off guard. I blink a few times. “Yes. You didn’t know?”
I think back to the night we were at Babylon, when he seemed confused as I talked about Mom’s cancer.
“You didn’t know,” I say softly, answering my own question.
Jacob pauses. “So it was true?”
I pause. There’s a pained expression on his face, one I’m sure is mirrored in my own. I cross my arms tighter over my chest, suddenly wishing all my clothes weren’t still down on the dock.
“Yes. She had cancer. She was sick for a long time — we tried every treatment under the sun. Dad fought so hard for her. He fought…” I pause and wipe a tear away from my eye. “He fought with everything he had. We lost almost everything. There were all these experimental surgeries, drugs, clinical trials. He wanted to exhaust every option. He nearly drove himself into the ground trying to keep her alive.”
“But… she died anyway?”
I nod, and wipe away another tear. It’s been so long since I talked about Mom. “Yes. About six months after you went to prison, maybe.”
“He never told me.” Jacob says the words softly, as if he’s talking to himself and not me. “He never told me.”
“Tell me why you wanted to get back at him.”
Jacob shakes his head sadly. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“It does. Tell me why you wanted to get back at him.”
“Lily, it doesn’t matter,” he repeats.
“It matters to me,” I shout. I get up off the bed. “It matters to me, because I was the one in the middle.”
Jacob’s face falls as my words hit him. He opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something, but then he closes it again.
“I’m sorry, Lily. I’m so sorry.” His face really is filled with remorse. “I went to prison because of your father. He embezzled money from our company — hundreds of thousands of dollars. We almost lost everything.”
My heart seems to stop. I wait for it to start up again before I breathe again.
“You’re lying.” The words in my mouth feel so wrong, like I’m betraying my father just by saying them.
Jacob sighs. “I wish I was. I wasn’t paying enough attention to the books, so I didn’t notice for a long time. It wasn’t until I was accused of insider trading that I looked into our accounts and realized he was doing.”
“The insider trading… are you saying you didn’t do that?”
Jacob shakes his head. “I ran an ethical business.”
“But you pled guilty.” I feel desperate now, as everything I thought I knew is turning on its head. I can’t imagine my father as an embezzler but… in a horrible sort of way, it makes sense.
“I pled guilty to protect our clients. Our assets. And, by default, your father.”
The reality dawns on me, as harsh and sudden as tsunami. “And you wanted to sleep with me to get back at him.”
“Yes.” Jacob’s face looks pained, but I’ll give him a grudging bit of credit for manning up to that fact.
“You were using me,” I say. The words feel like poison on my lips.
“Yes,” Jacob says again. His voice sounds as hollow as my heart feels.
My entire body feels numb, like someone’s drained the life right out of me. “You must have loved finding out I was a virgin — like your plan was working out even better than you imagined.”
Jacob’s face breaks. His jaw works back and forth. He takes a deep breath before he finally speaks.
“It wasn’t like that, Lily. You have to believe that.”
“I’d like to go home now.” I force my voice to sound as steady as possible.
“Lily…”
“No. I said I’d like to go home now.”
“We need to talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. If you’re worried about your little revenge plan, just go to the police. Tell them everything. I don’t care if they send him away for life. Just leave me out of it.”
“Lily, I would never.” Jacob looks horrified at the suggestion. Part of me wishes he really would do that though. Tell the police about my father’s crimes. I’m sure it makes me a horrible person, a horrible daughter, to want to see my father punished, but goddammit, right now I do. How could he have done this?
The tears that have been pricking my eyes finally spill over and roll down my cheek. Jacob reaches a hand out to brush them away but I jerk my head back.
“You can bring me home or I’m calling a cab.”
I don’t even want to think about what a cab from the Catskills will cost — or if that’s even possible — but I have to get out of here. Now.
I’m already standing up from the bed, trying my damnedest to look dignified despite the fact that I have no clothes on.
“I’m going to get my clothing,” I tell Jacob. “And then I’d like to leave.”
“I’ll go get them,” he says jumping up. “Please. Just… don’t go anywhere.” He hands me a white terrycloth robe out of the walk-in closet, and I take it gratefully. I follow him downstairs and perch on the edge of one of the kitchen barstools while he goes to get our clothes.
When he returns, he’s already pulled his shorts back on. He hands me my clothes and then stands in front on me, his hands on the island behind me, pinning me in place.
“Please don’t go before we can talk about this,” he says. His voice is pained.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There is, though.”
“Oh?” I raise an eyebrow at him. “Please, tell me what else there is to say. My father embezzled money. People could have lost their life savings because of him. And then you used me to try to get back at him.”
“I know all of that.”
“Then what else could there possibly be to say?” I’m upset right now and I’m deflecting to anger because it’s easier than dissolving into a blubbering mess in Jacob’s kitchen. I force myself to keep my face stony as I wait for him to answer.
But he doesn’t. He just stands there watching me. Even though neither of us moves, the distance between us seems to grow and grow, until it feels like we’re standing an ocean apart.
I force my voice to sound steely. “I’d like to go home now,” I say again. “And after that I’d like to never see you again.”
They’re the hardest words I’ve ever had to say. Jacob studies me for a minute, then runs his hands through his hair and, finally, nods. “I’ll drive you.”
“Thank you.”
We don’t say another word, not all the way into the city, and not when he finally comes to a stop in front of our tiny bungalow.
“Goodbye,” I say as I hop out of the SUV, and it’s the last thing I say to him. The last thing I ever intend to say to him.