Cameron

Watching the way Maggie came to life when she was around Daniel was a real eye-opener for me. I hadn’t realized how much she needed someone around. Someone she really cared about. I’d been so caught up in my own misery the first year after Gregory died that I just shut down. I was consumed by my own self-loathing because I was the one who was at fault.

Then, over the next two years I threw myself into my work to try to avoid feeling anything at all. And now I knew, Maggie was the one that suffered the most. In those years I’d hired the most highly recommended nannies and governesses. I registered her at the most exclusive preschool in town. I arranged for play dates with friends in her class. I gave her everything she could possibly need, but I forgot about the thing she wanted the most.

Her daddy.

I don’t know how I could have been so blind. I’d been living in the same place as my daughter for the last three years, but I hadn’t been here for her at all. And watching Daniel with her hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized I’d not only been hiding my emotions from the world, I’d been hiding them from my daughter too.

In the short amount of time that he’d been with us, Daniel had made Maggie laugh and squeal and scream and run through the house giggling more times than I could count. And now he was down on the floor with her in her bedroom creating a magical fairy castle so that all of her different dolls had a place to be together.

Their own special place, I overheard him calling it.

“That looks pretty elaborate," I said as I stood in the doorway to Maggie’s bedroom, one shoulder resting up against the doorjamb.

Since Daniel had moved into the condo, I could always tell where he and Maggie were by scent alone. They were usually together, unless she had a class or a playdate. And one of the most adorable things I noticed was that his scent changed when he was playing with her. It became light and airy, almost like a field of dewy flowers that were just opening in the morning sun. It was almost imperceptible, but not to an alpha like me. An alpha who was tuned in to his omega.

What the hell am I thinking? … He’s not mine, I thought as my eyes followed his every move. Snap out of it!

"Come play with us, Daddy! Daniel is helping me make a special place where all my dolls can live together. See, this is a magical path that leads them to a special bridge. It’s only visible to them! Then they go over the bridge.” She walked one of her dolls across as she explained. “And here they are at the magical castle. Daniel said no bad people are allowed.”

I watched as Maggie walked one of her teeny little dolls up to the dollhouse she’d received for Christmas this last year, then hopped it up to one of the upstairs bedrooms and set it down on a bed. “She’s resting now,” she said to me, he eyes so earnest it was hard not to smile.

“That looks like a lot of fun, sweetie." I walked across the room and knelt down on the floor between the two of them. “I can play for a couple of minutes, but I’ve got to get back to work. Daddy’s got a big meeting today."

Daniel and Maggie both looked over at me and started to laugh.

“Why are you laughing?” I asked.

“You’re playing on the ground with us.” Maggie said. “It’s funny.”

“Do you wear suits every day?” Daniel asked.

I glanced down at what I was wearing, then back up at Daniel who was lounging around in jeans and a T-shirt. No shoes or socks or anything. Just looking at him made me feel a little bit younger, but also a little bit foolish. I wished I could recapture that time in my life, but it felt like it was so long ago. The lightness in Daniel’s movements and in his eyes seemed so far away sometimes. Like something I’d never have again.

“That’s what Daddy always wears,” Maggie said. “He always looks very professional." It was Daniel and me who burst out laughing this time. Maggie looked so serious and I had no idea where she’d heard that. I imagined it was something Janine had said about my work clothes at some point.

“Are you laughing at me now?” Maggie yelled, throwing her hands up to her face. “It’s true, isn’t it? Janine says so!”

“It’s very true, sweetie,” I said sweeping her up in my arms and tilting her backward until she started giggling. "We weren’t laughing at you. I promise. I think Daniel’s right, though. I think it’s about time Daddy loosened up a little." I smiled at Daniel, then set Maggie back on the ground. “I do have some old jeans and T-shirts around here somewhere. But I haven’t worn any of them in years. Maybe we can go to the park this weekend and Daddy can dress less professionally."

“Yay! The park sounds fun!” Maggie yelled. But then her face became very serious again. “No matter what you wear, you’ll always look professional to me, Daddy.” She threw her arms around my neck and gave me a big hug.

I looked over at Daniel and he was grinning from ear to ear. As I sat there on the floor with my daughter laughing and Daniel smiling, I wanted that moment to go on forever. It was the first time in a long while that feeling something good didn’t automatically lead to painful memories and going back to work didn’t feel like a relief.

I spent the next few hours buried up to my neck in emails from investors and brokerage firms, reassuring everyone that the market was in flux and was going to straighten itself out. I sent these emails out once a month, but same clients always seemed to panic. Most of my job seemed to be keeping clients happy, and it usually left me drained.

Janine buzzed me and came in with some research I’d asked her to do. She set the files on my desk along with a tray of food. “I brought your lunch in as well, so you didn’t have to be disturbed again. I know how crazy today’s been for you."

"Thank you, Janine.” I finished up and sent off an email just as she set the tray down on my desk but stopped her before she turned to leave. “Do you have a minute?” I asked. "I could actually use a break."

"Sure," she said with a surprised look on her face. She took a seat in the chair in front of my desk and crossed her legs. "Is this about Daniel?”

“Am I that obvious?” I asked, laughing because I knew the answer.

"Well,” she said with a slow smile. “I have to admit, I wasn’t entirely surprised to see him back here, especially with the way the two of you reacted to each other. Plus, he seems like a really sweet boy."

“Yeah, that’s the problem. He’s just a boy."

“That’s not what I meant at all, Cam. He is young, but age is irrelevant. If you two are compatible, what does age really matter? But I am kind of curious what your plans are.”

“You’d think I had a plan, wouldn’t you? Me, the control-freak investment banker.” I stopped for a moment and looked away. “I have no idea what I’m doing, Janine. I feel like an old fool.”

“Cam, that’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” I asked. “I don’t even know why I brought him here. I’m so glad Maggie loves him as much as she does, otherwise I’d feel like the creepiest man on earth.”

“I think I know why you brought him here, Cam. Because you want to be around him. And, from what I can see, he wants to be around you too.”

“But how would that look … if I came onto him and asked him to date me or be my boyfriend. God, it all sounds so ridiculous.”

“Cam, you’re overthinking this way too much. Just let things … happen.”

“I guess that’s not my style. Besides, what would people say?”

“What people? You don’t ever see anyone.”

“You know what I mean. If we’re together and we go out somewhere. I know it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, but … all I can hear in my head is the comments people would make about how I’m too old and he’s too young. And how silly I am for trying to recapture my youth. And how he’s just with me because of my money. I’m afraid I’ll look like a desperate sugar daddy paying for a hot young body.”

“That’s not anywhere near the truth, and you know it. You are an incredibly attractive man, and if you had left this condo more than once or twice in the last year, I'm sure you would have had men of all ages falling at your feet.”

“Well, that’s very kind of you, but I'm not feeling very attractive at all. I feel like life has passed me by and now I’m stuck with nothing but regrets and a job that won’t let go of me.”

“It sounds like you’re spiraling and getting way too far ahead of yourself. Are you sure this isn’t all coming up because you’re scared?"

“Scared of what?" I asked, but I knew exactly what Janine was talking about.

"Scared of being vulnerable. Scared of falling in love. Scared that maybe this young man really is who you are meant to be with. I've seen the way he is with Maggie, the way she looks at him. She’s not scared to let him know how she feels.”

"No," I said with a laugh. “Maggie’s never been scared of a thing in her life.”

“She’s a lot like her daddy,” Maggie said.

I looked up at her in disbelief, but it was true. I used to be fearless. Until I let my omega die, that is. After that, I suddenly became scared of everything, but especially of feeling anything that intense again. “So, you think he's good for her?" I asked.

“I think Daniel is good for both of you. He has a kind soul. And I’m not surprised one bit that the two of you fell for him the minute you laid eyes on him. He's got that kind of energy. It's hard to put into words. But he’s just so …"

“Open?" I asked.

"Yes, exactly. Like you could walk up to him and he’d invite you inside with his eyes and his smile. His heart is completely opened up to the world in a way that’s so disarming. And even after everything he’s been through."

“Yeah, after everything he’s been through,” that last comment really sunk in.

I thought about how I’d reacted to loss and sadness. How I had shut the world off around me and hid myself away. Daniel had been through the loss of both his parents and the sadness of being rejected by them, but his reaction was to put himself out there even more.

He was a natural healer. All he had to do was look at you and smile and suddenly nothing seemed quite as bad as it was. That was his gift.

“I think you should tell him why he’s here.”

I looked at Janine and almost protested, but I knew what she meant. “I don’t even know the answer to that. And I don’t want to scare him away.”

“You won’t, Cam. I’ve seen the way you two are together, the way he looks at you. And I didn’t want to bring this up, but you know why he went into heat the way he did. He told me that’s never happened to him before.”

“Really?” I asked. There went my cock again. How I was going to keep it down now was beyond me. “I didn’t know that.”

“Doesn’t that change things? I mean, knowing that his heat was directly affected by your presence? And what are you going to do when he goes into heat again? Keep him locked up and let him suffer?”

“I didn’t think about that,” I said. “I guess I didn’t think any of this through at all.”

“Well, you’re following your heart, which you haven’t done for a long time. And I think that’s a good thing. But keeping all of this from Daniel isn’t fair. To either of you.”

I smiled at Janine and sighed. “Okay, I’ll think about it. Thank you, Janine.”

After she left the room, I got up and stood at the window. I had a feeling she was right. I knew I should tell Daniel how I felt, but there was another problem. I hadn’t told Janine the whole truth either.

Over the last three years, I had confided in Janine about almost everything. But there was one area that I had always kept to myself. It had always been a private thing between my partner and me. And that secret was something that weighed on me even more than anything I'd just mentioned to her.

My biggest fear was of corrupting Daniel. I knew that, no matter how much I tried to hold back my desires, I could only do it for so long. That my own instincts would eventually take over … and that instinct was to be in control. I was a natural Dom and when I was in a state of total arousal, I had to be in complete control.

Worse than the idea of losing Daniel was the idea that I might actually push him away. That I would do something that made him uncomfortable, or even hurt him.

And that thought brought all my anxiety rushing back. I could never hurt Daniel. When I looked into his sweet eyes and inhaled his incredible scent I wanted to surround him and keep him safe. I wanted to love him. But when my alpha hormones took over, all bets were off.

I needed to be with someone who understood that, someone who wanted that. Otherwise I might wind up hurting someone … and hating myself.

And I couldn’t even fathom that someone like Daniel would want those things. He was so innocent and open, like Janine said. He was like a gentle flower … which made my inner alpha crave him even more. The innocence in his eyes was intoxicating.

And as I sat there, picturing what I wanted to do to that sweet, young omega, I hated myself for having those uncontrollable thoughts.