CHAPTER EIGHT
GAVIN
“How fucking dare you?”
I’d been waiting for the explosion ever since I walked away, leaving her a piece of my mind and frustrated that I wasn’t able to control my mouth or my words better. But the curse coming out of her mouth startled me, because I’d never heard her curse before. Her accent going deeper as she came at me was so at odds with the curse that it had me halting—something Honey took advantage of as she practically ran until she was standing right in front of me.
“Are you implying that I’m cheating with Doug?” she asked, her voice outraged. Actually, her whole expression was outraged, and her body vibrated with that emotion. Her hands fisted at her sides, and I think she was trying really hard not to sock me.
“I’m implying nothing,” I responded, repeating what I said earlier.
Honey glared. She tried to take a deep breath, the way she usually did when her temper was almost lost—but this time, it didn’t work, and she threw her hands in the air and planted her feet apart. “Do you want to know the actual truth?”
Her tone told me she wasn’t going to let me slip out of here without her saying it, anyway. So I planted my feet as well and crossed my arms, giving her a steady look. “Maybe.”
“The truth is Cooper’s my first friend in Florida. I was this nervous girl working my ass off and live my dreams at the same time, and I was so doubtful if I even made the right decision coming here. He made me feel welcome and looked out for me when no one did, and he didn’t ask for anything in return. So I started having feelings for him. I tried to pursue it.”
The truth rang in her voice, and I couldn’t speak or interrupt as she kept talking.
“But as it turns out, it was completely one-sided. He was in love with Sara. He’d always been in love with her, and that made me evaluate my feelings. I realized in the end that I was projecting, and what I actually felt for him was a deep love that was neither attraction nor anything romantic.”
Her eyes shone, and frustration rose. “I flirt with him because I trust him. He knows that. Sara knows that. It doesn’t mean anything, and I never proposed anything to him. It’s just harmless flirting because I know he wouldn’t take it seriously and would never, ever take advantage of me. Sara knows it, too. And for you to accuse me of something like that…you pretty much just ruined everything. You don’t know me, okay? This is how we work. Don’t judge me, because I don’t deserve that.”
Then she was done and walking away, but not before I caught the hurt that flashed in her eyes. I realized instantly what a huge mistake I made—or rather, what an ass I’d been to her. Every single one of her words rang true, and that made me feel lower than low.
I inwardly cursed. Then I was running after her and calling out her name. Honey ignored me for a while until we got to the locker rooms, where she whirled on me just as I was about to hold on to her wrist. My hand paused, inches away.
“What?” she snapped.
“I’m really sorry.”
The words took her aback. I used it to my advantage and kept talking this time. “I’m very protective of Sara. She was an employer who became my close friend. She’s been through so much, and I don’t like the idea of her getting hurt. When I saw you with Cooper like that…”
“You assumed,” she supplied for me.
“Yes,” I admitted. The image of her with Cooper flashed through my mind again, and it brought about feelings that had my stomach reacting and I was yet to analyze. “I assumed, and that was wrong. I shouldn’t have judged you, not when…” Not when everyone who was anyone already judged her too much for a single sex video.
Christ. I really was an ass. “I’m sorry, Honey.”
My apology had silence filling the air, with Honey staring at me in surprise. Her eyes softened and her stance relaxed, and it was only then that I realized my hand was already on her wrist and rubbing it in soothing motions.
We were standing close, mostly because I’d leaned closer in an effort to get to her. She didn’t step away, and we stood like that for a while. An urge to pull her in came at me, particularly when I saw the unshed tears in her gaze. I wanted to hug her and comfort her, even when I was the one who brought her that misery, anyway.
I wanted to pull her close and do something else.
The second urge was so strong and so raw that it shook me—enough to take an invisible step back. In response, my body stiffened. I knew she noticed right away because she seemed to struggle with making her expression go blank. She succeeded, but not nearly soon enough.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, feeling like a fool.
“How many times are you going to apologize?”
“As many times as I can. I’m an ass.”
“You are,” she said, frustration brimming in her voice. “You made me feel like crap.”
“Christ. Fuck it. I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry.”
“I am.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay?”
I wanted to talk about it more—hell, I wanted to apologize a hundred more times, but it really did seem like she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. So I let go of her hand, letting go of the warmth of her skin in the process.
“Okay,” I finally responded.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. Then she was going back to the building and disappearing out of sight, leaving me alone with my own frustration in the lobby.
Because there was nothing to do, I ended up sitting on the couch and brooding. My mind worked a mile a minute as I tried to find ways to make amends, and in the end decided that I was just going to have to respect her wishes in her want to not talk about it anymore. Maybe I could treat her to dinner. Or be nicer to her.
Anything, really.
Twenty minutes later, my worry began to turn to suspicion, a nagging alarm of the instincts. I got off of the couch and wandered over to the hallway where the restrooms were located, leaning against a wall and waiting for her outside. I called out her name but got no response and wondered if she was being petulant and refused to come out.
What if she was crying inside?
Guilt shot through me, which had me pushing the door to the female restroom and entering. There was no one near the sink, and I eyed the four stalls that should have had at least one closed. But they were all open, and they were all empty.
The restroom was empty.
A sinking feeling settled in my stomach as it clicked, especially when I remembered the way she avoided my eyes when she excused herself from me earlier. At first, I thought it had been because she was mad, and maybe that was partially it—but now I realized it was also because she didn’t want me to see the truth in her eyes.
She’d used the back door and ditched me.
*****
“Are you telling me you lost her?”
Sara’s voice sounded surprised over the phone, and I couldn’t exactly blame her.
“Yes,” I responded. Yes, Honey ditched me, using the restroom as an excuse and slipping out the fire exit to get to her car, which she also took with her. The race car was still in the garage, which meant she barely thought the idea through.
This was entirely spontaneous and act of petulance.
Sara sighed. It was a rather tired sigh, and I realized her work must have been keeping her exhausted. “What did you do?”
I blinked at the question. Then I sighed, too. “I called her out.”
“For?”
“For flirting with your husband.”
“Flirting?”
“She was being all touchy-feely with him,” I said, trying to find the right words to let out. “Laughing at all his jokes, inviting him over to her place for dinner.”
A part of me expected her to rage or turn frosty, as Sara usually did when something didn’t please her. The woman could be an ice queen. But relief rushed through me when she sighed again, this time in what seemed to be annoyance at me. It only doubled my guilt.
“Now what did you do that for? She always flirts with Cooper, and it means nothing. Didn’t she tell you that?”
“She told me exactly that,” I muttered under my breath.
“And you still went off accusing her?”
“Basically.”
“Cooper loves her like a little sister,” Sara said firmly. “And while she may have felt differently in the beginning, that was years ago. And I trust him.”
“So you knew she liked him before?”
“Just as I know she loves him like a brother now,” she confirmed.
Well, shit.
Every point she was saying hit home, driving the guilt further up. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“You shouldn’t have assumed,” she agreed. “And knowing how harsh you can be…I guess I’m not surprised she did run off.”
“Have you ever been frustrated by me before?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in her voice. “But I’m older and better at controlling my emotions than she is.”
“I figured that.”
“Honey’s still young, and she can be pretty spontaneous. When she’s mad, she’s mad, even after you apologize. She needs a day or two to get over it. But she’s a good girl who deserves better than what’s being thrown her way right now.”
“And I just added to it.”
“Not necessarily, but I know you’ll make up for it. She’s a strong one, Gav. Don’t worry too much about it.”
Easier said than done. I grumbled. “Cooper’s going to kill me.”
“He definitely will. Did you make Honey cry?”
“Almost.”
“Then I won’t tell him because he might sock you.”
“Any idea where she might have gone?”
“Not really. She doesn’t go out much, actually. She just likes cooking dinner or hanging out with us.”
Well, double shit.
“I’ll find her.”
“You’d best better. She can take care of herself, but paparazzi are pretty slick these days and will find any way to take advantage.”
“Does she go to bars? Clubs?”
“She’s not much of a night party person, so I suggest trying out comfort restaurants and such. Oh, and she likes art and comic shops.”
She liked comics?
It only went to show that there was a lot I still didn’t know about her, which gave me no right to judge. I kept looking at Honey, and I kept seeing an attractive woman who felt similar to my wife, and maybe acted a bit similar in some aspects, too. Maybe that was why I was so mad that she was flirting with Cooper, because Tanya used to do that with other men, too, even when said men were married.
And with Tanya, it often led to something else.
But Honey was different, and I was the one at fault here. My guilt was mixed with frustration still, as we could have talked about it like mature adults. We had to work this out if we were going to keep co-existing.
When Sara hung up, I brooded some more. Then, because brooding was going to get me nowhere, I got out of the restroom.
Then I started my search.