It had been a week since the babies were born. Seven days since I uttered the words, “We need to talk.”

I regretted it as soon as they slipped from my lips. Joe hadn’t pushed the issue and brought it up. I don’t even know what I was going to say. It just came out. I’d like to blame it on the hormones or maybe the stress of the labor, but I was so overcome with emotions that I wanted to get some things off my chest.

“Suzy,” Joe whispered next to me.

Lying in the dark, I stared at the ceiling and felt my insides knot. “Yeah?”

He snaked his arm around my middle, resting it against my still soft, pudgy, baby fat. Soft to his hard. “What did you want to say to me after our girls were born? There’s something going on, and I need to know. I can’t sleep at night. I can barely eat. All I think about is that my wife doesn’t love me anymore.”

Guilt overcame me and tears began to spill down my face. “I don’t know, Joe. I love you. More than anything, I love you.” The words stopped as the tears came faster…harder.

“Sugar,” he whispered, pulling me closer to his body and resting his lips against my forehead. “What’s bothering you? What don’t you know?”

My eyes stayed pinned to the ceiling. I couldn’t look him in the eye. “How do you love me?”

“How?”

“Yeah.” My voice was a whisper as I choked down a sob.

“I don’t even understand what that’s supposed to mean.” He scooted backward, taking me with him as he rested against the tall, wooden headboard. With a few moves, he had me straddling him with my face in his hands, unable to look away. “Tell me what’s going on, Suzy.”

My heart ached from the look in his eyes. I knew it. Had seen it before. It was complete terror and fear that I had caused by my careless words. “I just don’t understand why you want me.”

His eyebrows drew together, causing severe creases on his forehead when the power of my words hit him. “You’re my wife. I’ll always want you.”

“That’s not true,” I replied before he could say another word. “There are plenty of men who leave their wives.”

His head jerked back, his blue eyes narrowing. “You think I’m going to leave you?” After he spoke, his mouth hung open.

I wiped away the tear that hung on my chin before my lip began to quiver. “Why wouldn’t you?” My voice cracked when I started to cry harder.

“Baby, I love you, but this is the last conversation we’re going to have about this. I’m going to talk to Mia and find someone for you to talk to, because the very thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn.” He took a deep breath, blowing it back out slowly. “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t show you how much I love you. There isn’t a second that passes that I don’t worship the very ground you walk on, sugar. There’s no one on this Earth for me but you. The question is… Do you still love me?”

I didn’t even have to think about it. “I do. More than anything, I do. I just keep looking at myself, and then I see you and you’re perfect. I just don’t get it.”

“When I look at you,” he said as his hands slid down my body, brushing my extra full breasts along the way, “I see the same girl I fell in love with. I love you more today than I loved you the day we got married. Every day with you is like a gift. The fact that you’re doubting that has me scared.” His hands rested on my hips and his grip became almost bruising.

“You’re just too perfect for me,” I whispered, admitting the thing I had been thinking for months.

His forehead came to a rest against mine. “I’m the furthest thing from perfect. You know that. You just gave birth to two babies and your hormones are out of whack. I’m not going anywhere. You’re mine, sweetheart. When I married you, I didn’t make that decision lightly. The day I said ‘I do,’ it was for life. Do you still want me, Suzy?”

“I do,” I whispered and closed my eyes. I couldn’t even imagine a life without him. “More than anything in the world.”

“We’ll get through this together. I’ll do anything to make you feel like the most important thing in my life. Never doubt my love for you.”

I didn’t doubt his love. It was more his want for me that I worried about. “Okay.”

He pulled my body forward and I placed my head on his shoulder, burying my face in his neck. “I love you, Sunshine.”

“Love you too, Joe.”

“Tomorrow we start anew. It’s time to get some help. It’s time to get our life back on track and settle into the new us. We’re no longer a three, we’re a five. And if we don’t watch it, someone’s going to get left behind.”

I worried I’d be the one left in the dust.