Ryker
Scrubbin’ both palms down my face, I swallow the thick lump in my throat. I can’t believe this is fuckin’ happening. I just… fuuuck. Vanessa’s dead, truly dead, and my beautiful, wonderful, unbelievably amazing Kat has been carin’ for a baby that we’re not even sure is mine. This can’t be real. God can’t hate me any more than he already does.
“You gotta get that baby away from her, man,” Kade presses, pacin’ from one wall to the other in my step down hospital room. They got me outta the ICU this morning. Which means I get to see my kids today. Younger children aren’t permitted to visit the ICU here. Not that I’d let that stop me from seein’ ‘em anyhow.
“Why?” I arch a brow.
“’Cause that kid ain’t yours, and she’s gonna get too attached.” His shoulders hunch as he strides with a purpose, chin on chest, hands down at his sides curled into fists.
Yeah, I’m not buyin’ it. There’s more to this story than that. He wouldn’t be on the verge of sweatin’ bullets if there wasn’t somethin’ else goin’ down. He’s hidin’ it from me.
“Bullshit. Spill it now, Kade. What the fuck’s goin’ on?” I might be in pain, the narcotics they’re givin’ me are toyin’ with my head, makin’ shit a little foggy. But I know my brother when he’s holdin’ back.
Fast walkin’ over to the couch where his crap’s at, Kade finds a small knife inside his duffle and starts runnin’ the thin blade up and down his forearm. He heaves a sigh of relief as if that piece of metal fixes everything. For him, it helps. I get it.
“Well?” I’m not lettin’ this go.
He won’t look at me as he scrubs the back of his neck like he’s guilty as fuck.
“What the hell did you do?” I grumble.
“Saved your life,” he snaps.
Yes, I know this and I’m never gonna be able to repay him for that gift. I would’ve done the exact same thing if roles were reversed. He knows it.
“And?” I dig a little harder as I readjust the pillow behind my head. It’s nice finally bein’ able to sit upright.
“Fuck! Get off my back already. You’ve been awake for what?” He glances at the clock on the wall next to the TV. “Six hours. And you’re already up my ass.”
Fine. If he wants to act infantile, then I’m gonna treat him that way. “Awe, you poor, poor baby, do you need a pacifier to go with that prissy bitch whine?”
“Fuck you.”
I snort, unamused. “Tell me.”
“Fine.” Kade throws his hands up in defeat. “Kat and I got into a huge argument, alright?” He sulks, taking a seat on the rockin’ chair in the corner. Christ, for being such a sadistic sonofabitch he sure has one helluva soft spot for my old lady.
“What’d you do?”
Head snappin’ up, he scowls at me, upper lip curled, eyes blazing. “Why do you assume it’s me who started it?”
“’Cause you wouldn’t be feelin’ like this if you didn’t do somethin’ wrong.”
“I didn’t do anythin’ wrong.”
“Right. So you’re nervous and over emotional for nothin’,” I deadpan.
“You almost died! Isn’t that understanding enough?”
“Nope. ‘Cause I ain’t dead. So tell me what happened.”
Slumpin’ back in the chair, gaze cast heavenward, Kade sighs. “I wouldn’t let her hold the baby. Told her that we needed to get a paternity test first. That she didn’t need to get too fuckin’ attached to someone who might not be blood. Plus a bunch of other mean shit that I shouldn’t have said. ‘Cause now she won’t talk to me.”
“You did not say that to her,” I growl, ready to bash in his skull.
“I did.”
“What the fuck’s wrong with you? You can’t talk to my pregnant woman like that.” What the hell was he thinking?
Shakin’ his head, Kade grips the arm of the chair like it’s a lifeline. “She was gonna fall in love with him, Ryker. What was I supposed to do? Tell her to hold him and fall in love with his cute, squishy face, then rip him from her arms when he turns out not to be yours? ‘Cause let’s face it, your wife was a club whore who got knocked up by someone in our club, and that doesn’t mean it was you. It could’ve been Hammer or any number of the brothers. There’s no reason you should be saddled with a baby that ain’t blood. Not when you’ve already got a pregnant woman and two daughters to take care of. Kat has gone through enough. Takin’ care of a newborn that ain’t blood, while about ready to pop herself ain’t somethin’ she should be dealin’ with.”
Dammit. He’s right. I hate to admit it, but he is.
“Then why didn’t you explain it to her that way? You’d still be talkin’ to her if ya had.” Kat’s understanding. She’d see his point. Not sayin’ she would’ve agreed or sided with him considering it’s a baby we’re talkin’ about here. But she wouldn’t have written him off.
“You don’t think I know that? I barely got a chance to tell her she couldn’t hold him before she went crazy. Started screamin’ at me. I’ve never seen her so angry, bro. Ever. And havin’ it directed at me, after the week we’ve all had, I just… well… I yelled back.”
Exhaling, Kade massages the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “We had to be escorted outside. Which made things worse. She almost kneed me in the nuts four times. Punched me in the chest twice. She was so pissed. Callin’ me selfish. Sayin’ I didn’t love her, and if I did, I wouldn’t do this. That the baby needed someone to hold him. To show him somebody cared. What did I do? I kept thinkin’ about her raisin’ a baby that ain’t hers. Takin’ care of somethin’ she shouldn’t have to. You and Ghost have put her through enough. All I’m tryin’ to do is shield her heart. I love her so fuckin’ much. All I wanna do is protect her and my nieces… Fuck.” Kade swipes a finger under his eyes, staring at the ceiling, swallowin’ hard to keep from burstin’ into tears.
What the hell am I supposed to say to that? Buck up? Stop bein’ a bitch? Nope. I can’t do any of that. This man kept my family safe alongside Rosie and saved my life, plus a baby’s. In my book, he’s a goddamn hero.
My tone goes soft to calm the war wagin’ in my brother’s head. “It’s gonna work itself out. Kat’s not gonna stay mad at you forever. You’re her best friend.”
“I hope so. Pops said she’s comin’ up to see you soon. So expect her to give me the cold shoulder. You need to worry about gettin’ better, not this. I’ll figure out a way to get back in Kat’s good graces. If you could do it after all the shit you’ve pulled, I’m sure it won’t take me long.” The bastard smirks, a flash of white teeth showin’. Sadly, I can’t argue his logic. I’ve done far worse to my love, and yet we’re still on speaking terms.
Dramatically layin’ a hand over my heart, I fake groan to lighten the mood. “You wound me.”
Kade chuckles. “You’re wounded enough, dumbass.”
That I am.
Starin’ down at my blanket covered legs, I sweep my gaze up to my bandaged arm. Three bullets went straight through my bicep. One nicked an artery. Another, the bone. The bullet they think ricocheted off the car into my good thigh, didn’t do much more than tear a hole through part of the meat makin’ me bleed like a stuck pig. The one in my shoulder they said also went clean through. All in all, I’m damn lucky to be alive. Not many people can say they survived bein’ shot five times, in a car wreck, lost so much blood they went into cardiac arrest twice and lived to tell the tale. Let’s just pray I survive seein’ Kat for the first time since everything happened. It could go either way. I’ve got one helluva feisty woman on my hands, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world. Even if that means she wants my balls in a vice. For her, I’d consider it the highest honor.