This wasn’t exactly my brightest idea.

“Uh, Mandy? What the hell is that?”

“This? These are anal beads.”

Correction: This was my worst idea ever.

My best friends’ brows were raised expectantly so I forced myself to choke out a strained, “I-I see. Thanks.”

Her hand was still holding up the package of beads when her expression softened into something alarmingly close to pity. It was the last thing I wanted from her, so I turned away and searched for another item I could question her about.

Which pretty much included the entire store.

A virgin working in a sex toy shop. It was like the start of a bad joke.

“Jessa...”

“W-What’s this? It says—” I cut off abruptly and felt my cheeks go red as the name of the packaging and the round hole in the center finally clicked. “Oh. Never mind.”

I couldn’t even manage to summon up a mental image of a man using his hand on himself, let alone one of those. The more I looked around, the more I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to do this. I was completely overwhelmed.

“Jessa, look at me.” Mandy waited until I turned toward her before placing her hands on her hips and fixing me with a stern look. “Don’t you back out on me now. Not after all the begging I did to get you the job.”

“I’m not backing out, I just—”

“You can do this, Jess. There are always two employees here at a time. The most interaction you’ll have with customers is ringing them up.”

The way she described it sounded as ideal as the situation could get. I knew I was fully capable of doing the job, but there was something else that was seriously bothering me.

“How do you handle seeing someone you know? If you ever do,” I added, wondering what the chances were I’d recognize a customer. I couldn’t remember seeing another adult shop in town, so I had a bad feeling it would eventually happen.

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” Mandy said with a cryptic little chuckle that I absolutely loathed. “Best thing to do? Unless they say something to you, pretend like you’ve never seen them before. Seriously—just give them a totally blank face and the same ‘have a nice day’ smile that you’d give a stranger.”

“And when I see them outside of work?”

“Act like nothing has changed. Like you never saw them and whatever depraved porno they bought. Never happened.”

“It’s that simple?”

“It’s that simple,” she confirmed with a grin. The curve of her lips was short-lived, however, and soon her nose scrunched up in distaste as she added, “Well, most of the time.”

“What does that mean?”

Mandy finally hung the beads back on the rack and vaguely gestured toward the vast selection of dildos as she whispered, “It’s one thing to pretend not to have seen a family friend buying a dirty movie. It’s another to pretend like you didn’t bag up a double-ended dildo for a former teacher.”

My jaw dropped in shock as she turned away and headed for the counter. I couldn’t help myself. I was mentally going through all of the teachers we shared in the past and wondering which one it could have been.

The sick curiosity must have been written all over my face because Mandy commented, “Don’t bother. You won’t guess it and I’m not telling.”

“Fair enough,” I said with a sigh. “Besides, it’s probably better if I don’t know.”

“Another piece of advice? Try to start schooling your reactions. This is a judgment-free zone.”

I leaned my elbows against the counter with a huff as I studied her opening the cash register, filing away the information for later use.

“I wasn’t judging. I just... I don’t understand what half of this stuff is for.”

“Only half?” she joked with a snort. “More like ninety percent.”

“Hey! I’m not completely out of the loop, you know?”

“No? What’s this?”

She held up a very small package, purposely keeping it out of reach so I couldn’t read the label. All I could make out was a rubber ring and I nearly rolled my eyes.

“It’s a condom.”

“Wrong.”

The package came flying my way. I frowned as I snagged it out of the air and read the label. My face flushed immediately.

“Say it.”

“No way.”

“Say it, Jess!”

“I-I’m not! I don’t even know what this is for!”

“Say it and I’ll tell you,” she teased in a sing-song voice.

“Cock ring!” I shouted far louder than intended. Thank God the store hadn’t opened yet. I lowered my voice as I demanded, “Now tell me what the point of it is.”

“Men put it on the base of their cock when they don’t want to blow too quickly.” There was a brief pause before a devious smile appeared on her face and she added, “Or you could put it on a man if you wanted to have some extended fun.”

“Fun? You mean... sex.”

“Amongst other things.”

Another cryptic response that I didn’t know how to take. Fabulous. How did I manage to make it through college with such a limited idea of sex?

Living on my own and avoiding it at all costs was probably to blame. Party Friday night? Can’t make it. I’ve got a paper due on Monday. You want to take me on a date? Sorry, I’ve got a shift at the coffee shop.

My parents paid my rent during college and I focused hard on studying and getting phenomenal grades to thank them for it. I also picked up part-time jobs as often as I could to pay the rest of my bills by myself.

What I never admitted out loud was that all the responsibility I took on was just a cover to allow me to remain an introvert. I wanted excuses not to do anything with my peers. With the exception of Mandy—a lifelong friend—I didn’t want to hang out with anyone.

I was even worse when it came to men. I could barely recall the last crush I had on a classmate. His name was Phillip—that much I did remember—but his last name had long since faded from memory. Considering I was twelve years old at the time, it wasn’t that surprising.

Of course, that was just my last crush on a peer. My last crush altogether was a totally different story—something so secret I never even told Mandy. I suspected she figured it out on her own long ago, but she was a good enough friend to not bring up the sensitive subject.

“You ready for this?”

Snapping out of my thoughts, I focused on her excited face before stealing a glance at the clock behind her. Five minutes until the store opened.

“Oh crap,” I muttered, straightening my clothes out of habit. “I’m so nervous. Do I look okay?”

“You look like you should be working in an accountant’s office or something.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Oh, totally. Very polished. Clean.”

Her reassurance aside, I still couldn’t tell if it was a compliment or not. It definitely sounded more like a critique. She buzzed around the register area while I frowned down at my crisp white shirt and pencil skirt.

“I thought there was a dress code,” I mumbled pitifully as I finally took in the fact that she was wearing jeans and a black tank top.

“Dress code? Ha! Just wait until you get paired up with Mona.” Mandy laughed and gestured to the door. “Would you flip the switch on the sign and unlock the door? I need to grab a roll of quarters. Be right back.”

The sign was easy enough to do, but after I figured out how to unlatch the bolt and unlock the doors, the loud beeping of the security system forced me to cover my ears and call for Mandy. She rushed out of the back room with a curse and quickly typed in the code to disarm the system. Once the beeping stopped, she turned to me with a sheepish smile.

“Whoops. I knew I forgot something. I’ll write down the code for you.”

“That’d be swell.”

Mandy grabbed a sticky note and jotted down a six-digit number, handing it to me with a serious expression.

“Don’t lose this. If the alarm gets tripped by accident you’ve got sixty seconds to enter the code.”

“What happens after sixty seconds?”

“The police get notified. It’s not a big deal—it happens every now and then—but it’s a hassle for them and us. Just hold on to the code and you’ll be fine.”

She smiled and strolled back the way she came from, leaving me to stare at the brightly-lit open sign with a weird sense of foreboding.

What exactly was I getting myself into?