Linnea’s news leaves me reeling.

I change clothes and go back downstairs. We’re doing a casual get together—I’m ordering pizza—so I don’t have much to do to get ready. But I’m restless, trying to figure out what to think. How to feel about this.

Pittsburgh. She’s going to Pittsburgh for an audition.

It’s no surprise her parents had something to do with it. They’ve probably been plotting to get her out of here since Charlotte made her sleepover comment. I’m frustrated at their meddling in her life. But at the same time, they’re helping her get where she wants to be. Even if their motives include getting her away from me, I can’t fault that they want her to be successful. So do I.

But fucking Pittsburgh.

My family starts showing up and I have to put it out of my head for a while. Alex and Mia arrive first, followed closely by Kendra and Weston. Linnea comes downstairs and sits in the living room, chatting with Mia and my sister. Alex, Weston, and I each grab a beer and hang out at the dining table.

There’s another knock and I go to answer the door—it’s either my dad, or the pizza. We usually get together at my dad’s house so he doesn’t have to drive. I offered to come pick him up, although it’s out of my way. But he insisted he’d get here on his own. We all help him out as much as we can, but he’s been working hard to regain his independence since his back surgery. He’s been doing really well.

I open the door and blink in surprise. It’s my dad, but he’s not alone.

“Hi, son,” he says. “Sorry to spring an extra guest on you at the last minute, but this is my friend Jacqueline.”

His friend? He grins at me, then at her. Holy shit, does my dad have a girlfriend? I open the door wider. “No, it’s fine. Please, come in.”

Dad comes in, leaning on his cane, and Jacqueline follows. She’s probably in her late fifties—very pretty with a hippy or maybe yoga instructor vibe. Mostly-gray hair cut in a short bob. Bright blue and orange patterned dress with blue leggings and brown sandals. She’s wearing a bunch of necklaces, but despite the different sizes and colors, they all seem to go together.

“Thank you so much for having me,” Jacqueline says and her eyes crinkle with a pleasant smile. “I’m sorry, I thought Ken told you I was coming.”

My dad chuckles. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“It’s fine, it’s great to meet you.” I raise my eyebrows at Dad but he just grins again.

I lead them into the house and we make the rounds of introductions. Mia stares at Jacqueline with her mouth hanging open until Alex nudges her. Kendra looks like she’s ready to burst, but amazingly she doesn’t start drilling Dad with questions. He calls Jacqueline his friend again, but the way they smile at each other makes it pretty clear she’s a little more than a friend.

The pizza arrives soon after, and we all sit around the dining table to eat. Dad tells us how they met at his physical therapist’s office. They were both patients and had regular appointments at the same time, so they found themselves in the waiting room together each week. Kendra and Mia don’t bother to contain their sighs of awe as Dad recounts the day he got up the courage to ask Jacqueline if she’d like to have coffee.

Kendra sniffs and wipes under her eyes. “This is so sweet. I’m so happy for you, Dad.” She starts crying harder and Weston hands her a napkin.

“This is amazing,” Mia says. “Oh my god, Jacqueline, do you have kids? If you and Ken get married, we could have a bunch of new siblings.” She stops and pinches her lips together for a moment while the rest of us shift in our seats. She adjusts her glasses. “Sorry… I didn’t mean… I’ll stop now.”

Dad smiles at his daughter-in-law and his eyes light up. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him so happy.

“I do have one daughter, Gwen,” Jacqueline says. “She lives nearby, so maybe you’ll meet her sometime.”

Mia makes a squeaky sound and looks at Kendra. She’s still crying.

“I’m sorry,” Kendra says. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

All eyes move to Kendra and as soon as I see the self-satisfied look on Weston’s face, I realize what’s going on.

“Kendra?” I say.

She wipes beneath her eyes and looks at Weston. He gives her that smile I’ve never seen him give anyone else, and nods.

“Well, since we’re all here,” she says. “I’m pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”

The table erupts with congratulations and exclamations of happiness. Mia jumps up from her spot, knocking over her chair, and runs around the table to throw her arms around Kendra. Weston leans out of the way, looking a little bit alarmed. Dad claps a few times, then takes Jacqueline’s hand and kisses it. She smiles and leans close to him.

Charlotte is sitting next to me, and she stands up in her chair so she can whisper in my ear. “Is Kendra having a baby?”

“Yep, she sure is,” I say.

“Does that mean the baby is my cousin?” she asks, still whispering.

I nod. “Exactly. You get a new baby cousin.”

She smiles. “I hope it’s a girl.”

The excitement dies down and everyone goes back to their dinner. We ask Kendra questions about her pregnancy. She’s due in January, so it’s still early, and so far she’s feeling fine—other than a propensity for bursting into tears. Weston absently strokes her hair and leans in frequently to kiss her temple.

Partway through the meal, Charlotte gets down and goes around the table to climb into Weston’s lap. He eats around her like a pro, and despite everything else going on in my mind, it makes me smile. There was a time when I never would have imagined having this thought, but Weston is going to be a great dad.

Jacqueline chats comfortably with the rest of us. It’s strange to see my dad with a woman. As far as I know, he never dated after my mom left. When we were kids, he was busy working and raising the three of us almost all on his own. Later came the struggles of his back injury—the surgeries, the financial stresses. It’s easy to see why dating wasn’t a priority.

I’m happy for him. There’s a sense of relief at the idea that my dad might have found someone to share his life with. And Jacqueline appears to be nothing like my mother. Mom would have worn a suit and heels, and probably found a way to ruin Kendra’s announcement with some sort of criticism. With Jacqueline’s warm friendliness and eclectic style, she fits right in.

I glance around the table at my brother and sister, sitting with their spouses. Alex and Mia are comfortable and secure—clearly crazy about each other. Kendra has that pregnant-woman glow, and Weston—who is basically an ass to most people—adores her. I’m happy for them too.

My eyes go to Linnea and I get a twist of pain in my chest.

I know I have to do the right thing for her. The audition in Pittsburgh could be a once in a lifetime opportunity. How could I ask her to pass that up? And for what? To stay here and take care of my kid? How selfish is that?

She’s so talented. She plays with a beauty and artistry that takes my breath away. And I know how hard she’s been working for this. How much she practices. How dedicated she is.

I can’t stand in her way.

She’s been quiet, and I wonder what she’s thinking. I meet her eyes. “Do you want to say anything?”

“Oh, sure.” She puts down her napkin. “I guess I have news too, although it’s not as exciting as Kendra’s. I have an audition with the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra next week.”

There’s a pause and all eyes are on her. Then on me. She shifts in her seat and tucks her hair behind her ear.

“It’s an amazing opportunity,” I say. “She’s worked really hard for this.”

“Wow, congratulations,” Kendra says.

That seems to break the ice and more congratulations follow, although it’s decidedly quieter than after Kendra’s big announcement. Linnea smiles and thanks everyone. She talks a bit about the symphony—how it’s well respected and she didn’t think she’d have a chance with such a large group so soon. Charlotte asks a few questions about what an audition is like, but she doesn’t seem concerned. I don’t think she understands what this means. Or maybe she just can’t imagine that Linnea would leave us.

By the time my family leaves, I’m just done. I’m tired from keeping up the façade that everything is okay—that I’m nothing but happy for Linnea. Happy for my dad. Happy for my siblings and their fucking perfect marriages.

But the truth is, I’m pissed. Not at them. I’m angry at myself for letting this happen. For falling for a woman I knew I couldn’t have—not really. She’s just starting her life. I’m a widowed father with a kid, an established career, and a mortgage. I’m settled. She should be free.

I put Charlotte to bed and all I can think about is how shitty it’s going to be when I tell her. How it’s not just me who’s going to be hurt. I should have protected her from that.

My dad’s reasons for not dating when we were kids make a lot more sense, now that I’m in his shoes.

I have to be at the hospital early tomorrow morning, so I get the kitchen cleaned up and make an excuse to Linnea about being tired.

I don’t invite her to come to bed with me. I head upstairs and close the door. Alone.