Chapter 20

It was nearly two weeks later before Felice worked up the courage to step outside of the vampire building alone. She was grateful to Danton and Rafe and all of the other vampires who had taken the time to sit with her as she healed and give her comfort and support as her heart writhed with the pain of Halo’s rejection, but she needed to step out into the world by herself.

She was mostly healed of her physical wound, her arm once again being made useful. She had some physical therapy to go through before she could count herself a hundred percent healed, bur that would come in time.

Healing her internal wounds was something else entirely.

Felice didn’t know when it had become so essential to have Halo in her life. She didn’t know when she had started to feel like she couldn’t live without him. She simply knew that she couldn’t…and that she didn’t care what he said to her, she knew in her heart and in her soul that he felt the same way. He was simply too afraid to admit it.

She had to confess to a small amount of fear of her own. Inserting herself in his life meant inserting herself into the middle of a war. It meant putting herself purposely in the line of danger. The next time she was threatened, she wasn’t likely to be kidnapped and toyed with. The next time she might find herself dead.

However, she trusted Halo to keep that from happening. If anyone could protect her it was Halo. She also believed in her heart that he would be the most motivated.

It scared her to feel this way for a man. The last time she had imagined herself protected by a man it had been with Michael. But Michael had been the illusion; Halo was the reality. He would lay down his life to protect her, just as he was now. He was putting aside his own feelings in order to keep her at a distance, hoping that distance would afford her protection and keep her safe. Combine that with his fear of attachment and she had a lot of work ahead of her. He would not make this easy for her. He would fight her with every dirty trick in the book and she had to be prepared for that. However, she had a few dirty tricks of her own.

She had spent the past two weeks brushing up on vampire law and exposing herself to the vampire world. She had met the committee. They had told her point-blank that Halo had met with them already and given his recommendation that she have her memory wiped and then be sent back to her safe human world. That had stung, but what had she expected really in his present state of retreat? He was using every method he could to put distance between her and the vampire nation.

Well, he would have to physically excise her from his life if he wanted her gone. She supposed that was what he was trying to do, using the committee like a surgical instrument to cut her out of the vampire world. However, it had been a cowardly thing to do behind her back…and the easy thing. If he put it in the hands of others then he wouldn’t have to face her again.

Well, she wasn’t going to make it that easy for him.

She glanced down at her new phone, the other having been taken from her during her kidnapping, and reviewed the map directions Rafe had plugged into it for her. She flagged down a cab and gave the driver the address. It wasn’t to Halo’s apartment or anything. Rafe didn’t know where he lived—or even if he lived anywhere in particular. Most vampires lived in vampire central. Halo did not. But Felice figured he had to have an apartment. Somewhere to rest his head and keep his things. Even if it was a rented room somewhere.

Apparently he got around via motorcycle. She had smiled at that discovery. It suited him. Felice had to wonder at herself. She had never gone for the rough-and-ready types. She had always preferred some sophistication in her men. But look where that had gotten her with Michael. It had gotten her nothing but grief and pain.

She was glad he was dead. She had no qualms about Halo having killed him. She had thought she might be squeamish about it—after all, it was a life and capital punishment was harsh. However, after all she had been through…and who knew what other crimes Michael had committed under Roth’s sway. She wouldn’t have put it past him to take a life. He had certainly shown no regard for hers. He had wanted Halo to devour her, to suck out all of her energy and leave her dead on the floor. She shuddered at the thought. He had tried to kill the man that Halo was in order to sway him, in order to orchestrate the death of the queen. That would have made him an accessory to murder at the very least.

She couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to kill the queen. Rafe had introduced her to Simone. Felice had felt so gauche and awkward in the face of such grace and beauty and power, but she had liked the queen nonetheless. Simone was a kind woman. An understanding one. She had been the one to convince Rafe to give Felice the address she was going to. Rafe had preferred to protect her, to keep her clear of more hurt at Halo’s hands. Simone had seen otherwise. She had seen Felice as an opportunity to bring Halo deeper into the fold. To give him a connection other than himself.

Well Felice wasn’t about to let the queen down. She was determined to be that connection. She would become Halo’s true north. She would be his anchor in this world. Something he was in terrible need of.

When she arrived at the bar, she alighted from the cab and looked into the parking lot. There were several motorcycles there and she was encouraged. Rafe had told her this was where she could expect Halo to be tonight. How he knew that she didn’t know. Still, in the wake of being caught and kidnapped, Halo might have changed his location already.

At least that was what she hoped wasn’t the case.

She entered the bar and was enveloped by the dark atmosphere immediately. It wasn’t a very big place, but it wasn’t small either. Big enough to hold a few pool tables and private booths. Over by the pool tables there were smaller tables and stools dotted about. Even though it was barely dark the bar was doing good business. Many seats at the bar were taken by patrons. Halo was not among them.

She moved farther in. She reached the last booth right before the bar opened up into the pool-playing area. There, with his arm draped over the shoulders of a woman, was Halo. He had a bottle of tequila in front of him, but she noticed there was only one glass and the woman had her hand around it.

She was an average-looking woman. A washed-out sort of blonde. Her blouse was too low and her skirt was too short. She wore her makeup heavily and her years even more so. Hard living had not been kind to her looks.

Halo noticed Felice long before she reached the booth. She knew it because his reaction was to pull the woman closer to his side. She eagerly complied, draping herself over his body. She kissed him on the side of his neck and Felice felt a white-hot flash of jealousy rip through her. But she put it aside. This was a show for her benefit. For the benefit of everyone in the room, including Halo himself. Felice had seen his expression during the brief moments before he had realized she was there. He had been pensive. Lost in thought. Anywhere but in the moment. She took heart in that. She took heart in the fact that prior to her entrance he couldn’t have cared less about who was in that booth with him.

He watched her approach with wary eyes. She took in the tableau before her and said sharply, “Honey, what are you doing here? The kids miss their daddy. Little Suzy has been waiting for you to come tell her a bedtime story!”

The blonde immediately perked up. “Kids?” she asked Halo. “You got kids?”

“I do not have kids,” Halo growled.

“How can you say that? Little Suzy is such a daddy’s girl,” she said directly to the blonde. “And I’m the jealous type. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll take a hike, sister.”

The blonde was poised in hesitation, looking from Halo to Felice in confusion.

“You never said anything about kids and a wife!” she exclaimed.

“Because I don’t have kids and a wife,” he said roughly, but there was a light in his eyes. Something like admiration or amusement. She couldn’t tell which.

Felice leaned in and put a hand on the table, looking the other woman dead in the eyes.

“I like to pull hair and gouge with my nails.” She rapped her fingertips on the table, the sound of her nails clicking an added inducement.

The blonde ripped away from Halo and got to her feet. She was unsteady, drunk, and luckily not the aggressive type. Felice would have been happy to fight for Halo but was glad she didn’t have to. As the blonde tottered away on her ridiculously high heels, Felice took her place in the booth, effectively trapping Halo within it. It surprised her that he would allow himself to be contained like that. She would have thought he would remain on the outside where he could move more quickly to escape the confines of the table. But she figured he was confident in his ability and it didn’t make a difference to him.

“Now that wasn’t very nice,” he drawled to her.

“I’m not a nice person,” she said.

He snorted and gave her a look.

“Well,” she amended, “I’m not nice to women who are draped all over you like a winter coat. As I said, I’m the jealous type.”

“You can be jealous all you want. It’s not my responsibility.”

“Oh, but it is. You are very much responsible for how I feel.”

“What are you doing here, Felice? We’ve said everything that needs to be said.”

“No. You’ve said everything you think needs to be said. I have a completely different view on the matter.”

“Your delusions aren’t my responsibility either,” he said sharply. “Go home, Felice. Go back to your life and leave me with mine.”

“I will…if you can tell me in all honesty that I mean absolutely nothing to you. No covering up. No lies. If you’re the man I think you are under all of this…this bull crap, you’ll tell me the truth.”

He shifted in his seat, reached for the tequila bottle. He didn’t take a drink, merely picked at the label. She knew he had not taken a drink all night. He probably wouldn’t allow himself to do so ever again. He learned from his mistakes. He wasn’t willing to dance with darkness again. His dissolute living had almost cost him everything. She knew that better than anyone. Certainly better than the nameless blonde.

“What do you want from me, Felice? If you think I’m the key to some kind of happily-ever-after, then you’re just kidding yourself.”

“Why? Why am I kidding myself? Why can’t you have a happily-ever-after any more or less than the next guy?”

“I’m not the next guy. I’m not a nice guy. Guys who aren’t nice don’t deserve women like you.”

“I see. I’m only good enough for the Michaels of this world?”

“No! What the fuck, Felice? No woman deserves the Michaels of this world!”

“And you think you’re no better than he is?”

“If I let you in then no, I’m no better than he is,” he said quietly.

“Why? What is so fucking wrong with you?” she demanded.

He was surprised to hear the crass word on her lips, that much was obvious. He didn’t let it sway him from his course.

“Everything is wrong with me, Felice. I’m dangerous. Deadly. I’m rude and crude. I’m not a nice man and I don’t deserve nice things.”

“That’s total bullshit. I think you’re just being selfish. You want what you think is right and fuck the whole rest of the world!”

“See? I told you. I’m not nice.”

“I don’t want nice. I want you. And despite what you think, despite what you like to show to the world…you do care. If you didn’t you would have left me to rot in that warehouse. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t be trying to push me away now. You’ve convinced yourself you’re being noble. That you’re protecting me.”

“I am protecting you! Can’t you see that?” Halo ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I’m too dangerous for you to be around. I can’t keep you safe! I have too many enemies who would love to get their hands on you. You don’t deserve to live looking over your shoulder. I know what that’s like. I live it every day. There’s never any peace. There’s no comfort from anywhere. It never ends.”

“Let me be your peace,” she said vehemently, putting her hand over his. “Let me be your comfort and you can be mine. It can be you and me against the world. Can’t you see how wonderful that would be?”

“All I can see is how hard a life like that would be on someone with such a gentle soul,” he said, turning his hand to catch her fingers and squeeze them tightly. “Go away, Felice. Go find peace and comfort somewhere else. You won’t find them here.”

“I disagree. And maybe this isn’t about my peace and comfort. Maybe it’s about yours. Did you ever think of that? Did you ever think that maybe I’m meant to bring those things to you? Everyone deserves solace in their lives.”

“Not me.”

“Why not? Why not you?”

He turned in his seat to face her. As if he couldn’t help himself he reached out and stroked a finger over her cheek. She turned into the touch, caught up his hand, and pressed a fervent kiss into the center of his palm. Then she bit down gently on the meat of it just below his thumb. Heat flared in his eyes. She was so relieved to see it. She was relieved to know that, despite everything he was saying, he still wanted her. She would even venture to say he wanted her more than anything else in the world. She didn’t think that was being egotistical at all. She had just come to know him. He may act hard and harsh, but it was clear he longed for gentler things in his life. He needed balance for all the bad things he suffered day in and day out.

That was when she realized what it must be like for him. To have to hunt those who had once been his friends. If not friends, colleagues. He thought that if he kept everyone at a distance, he didn’t have to care about being forced to take their lives. Roth had once been a colleague. Whether he had liked him or not, dealt with him or not, it had to be hard to watch someone cross the line from law-abiding to lawless. To watch them throw away everything that they were. Everything they were meant to be.

“I told you. I’m not a nice man,” he said softly.

“If I wanted a nice man I wouldn’t be here! And you’re nicer than you think you are. You have a code. You obey the law. If you weren’t worthy of a good life then you would have thrown it all away and crossed over when you fed from me. But instead you fought it. Fought the high for yourself and for me. Kept yourself from taking the easy way out.”

“You have no idea how hard that was,” he said fiercely. “Even now…even now I look at you and I wonder if I would feel the same way feeding from you now that you’re clean. In fact, it’s almost all I can think about. Biting you. Drawing sustenance from you. Feeding my starving soul. It’s dangerous. So damn dangerous.”

“I think it’s hot,” she whispered just as fiercely. “I think of the way it felt and all I want is for you to do it to me again. I get wet just thinking about it. Just like now.”

He groaned and suddenly gripped her head between his hands. “Stop it! Stop tempting me!”

“No. I’ll never stop. I’ll want you, danger and all, every moment of every day. You’re just going to have to live with that. I won’t have it any other way. Even if I have to chase you down in every bar from here to Timbuktu. I swear it. I won’t let you go. I’m right about this. You’ll see.”

“Like you were right about Michael?” he asked bitterly.

“Stop comparing yourself to him. The two of you couldn’t be more different if you tried. Michael was evil, pure and simple. You are far from evil. Evil men don’t hunt down their friends at the cost of their soul because no one else wants to do it.”

“I don’t have any friends,” he denied.

“You don’t have any now. You sacrificed that so you wouldn’t have to cope with losing them. Well, you don’t have to worry about losing me. I can’t ever turn into a sycophant.”

“Yeah, but you’ll grow old and die,” he said, stroking her lips with his thumb.

“Planning on keeping me around that long, eh?” she asked.

“Longer if I could,” he said, for the first time showing signs of relenting. It made her grow warm and full inside.

“Why waste time then? If time is so finite and if you want me, why are we wasting time fighting and arguing and resisting?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed. “It’s just that…I’ve never wanted anything this much before. And I’ve never wanted to protect someone from myself more than I want to protect you.”

“Well then, the best way for you to do that is by keeping me close so you can head off any dangers that may come my way.”

“That makes no sense,” he said. “If I’m the cause of the trouble isn’t it better I keep my distance?”

“I already told you…that isn’t going to happen. So you might as well stick close and protect me as best as you are able. And knowing you the way I do, you are very able indeed.”

“Damn it, woman, why does everything you say seem to make so much sense to you and leave me shaking my head in confusion?”

“Do yourself a favor. Just roll with it. It’ll figure itself out as we go.”

He suddenly pulled her in sharply, seizing her lips fiercely. He kissed her as if his life depended on it. She supposed it did. His entire future depended on that kiss giving him clarity. It must have done so because he kissed her again. The hunger of his kisses was undeniable. When he finally broke from her they were both panting for breath.

“I’ll most likely change my mind in the morning,” he warned her.

“Let’s take it one morning at a time,” she suggested.

“Yes. Let’s.”

Halo shoved her out of the booth, following immediately behind. He threw a few dollars down on the table and grabbed her hand. He led her outside to a Harley and detached two helmets. He handed her one and put on the other. She eagerly followed suit and hopped onto the bike behind him.

They didn’t go far. He drove around the corner to a small house. They were in Queens, not too far off the boulevard. He parked the bike in the garage and led her into the house.

“You own this?” she asked.

“Rent. It’s good enough for my four TVs and some decent furniture.”

She noted the furniture as he led her past it and directly up the stairs. It was nice and serviceable. When he led her into the bedroom she got the impression of a bed and a dresser before he was yanking her into his arms and kissing her passionately. She felt relief all the way in her soul with every gentle touch of his hands on her skin. It was so profound it left her weak. She clung to his body, using it as a frame to keep herself upright.

Halo wasted very little time with preliminaries. He kissed her down the side of her neck, lifting her hair away, kissing her until he was closing his mouth over the back of her neck. She felt a thrill rush through her, her nipples hardening and her body tensing in glorious anticipation. He chuckled and his mouth slid away, trailing back over her collarbone.

“It won’t be that easy, greedy girl. I want to be inside of you when I feed this time.”

Felice felt her entire soul flame fiercely with the heat of the suggestion. She went wonderfully wet, her panties growing damp as her body curved eagerly into his.

“Then what are you waiting for?” she demanded of him. “I want you. Now. You’ve denied me for weeks. Now it’s time to give yourself to me.”

He pulled back the collar of her shirt, still moving slowly and purposefully. He found the red, puckered fresh scarring of the bullet wound she had suffered and kissed her there next.

“Poor puss,” he murmured. “You’ve suffered so much because of me.”

She frowned. “You had nothing to do with this. This was all Michael. You saved me, remember? Stop blaming yourself!”

“Maybe this time, but what about next?” He pulled back and frowned down on her.

Oh no. She was having none of it. He wasn’t going to pull away now. She had made too much progress to let him slip back into that way of thinking.

She cuddled up tightly to his body, her hands traveling down the contours of his shoulders, chest, and belly. As she moved farther down she said, “You won’t let anything happen to me. I believe that with all of my heart. And even if something did happen it wouldn’t be your fault. I’m making this choice, I’m going into it with my eyes wide open. Now you can accept that or not. You decide now and then I don’t want to hear about it again. It’ll be resolved between us. No backing out.”

She stacked the deck in her favor however. She ran a strong palm down the length of his zipper and cupped his hard member through the denim of his jeans.

“Do you want me or not?” she asked with raspy seduction. She kissed up the side of his neck. Gently bit his ear. Breathed her hot breath against him.

“Goddammit, Felice,” he groaned, surging against her bold palm and searching fingers. She rapidly undid his fly, reached in, and wrapped her hand around his turgid cock. She stroked him, felt his rapid breaths against her skin. Then he was suddenly stripping off her sweater, exposing her skin to the slightly chill air of the room. He was like a furnace though, more than enough heat radiating off him to keep her warm.

“Answer me,” she breathed as his large hand boldly cupped her breast through her bra. Then he impatiently stripped down the strap, exposing her full flesh and nipple to the air. It was the side of her body where she had been shot, so they could both see the contrast of the angry spot in relation to her otherwise perfect skin. She slid her fingers aggressively into his hair and pulled him down to her nipple. All the while she kept her other hand around him, stroking him relentlessly, firing up every one of his nerves and senses. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer and she was going to do everything in her power to put this behind them once and for all.

“I want you,” he rasped, kissing the soft, sensitive skin of her breast right above her nipple. “I’ve never wanted anything in my life as badly as I want you. And that scares me. It scares the holy hell out of me.”

“I can work with that,” she said with a soft growl as she raised up on her toes just enough to brush her hard nipple across his lips. He accepted the invitation with a vengeance, his mouth closing over her fiercely, the suction he used almost violent. She felt it in every corner of her soul, right down to her toes, her fingers tightening around the strands of his hair convulsively. Halo cupped her breast on the opposite side briefly before his fingers blindly found the front clasp of her bra and released it with a snap. She chuckled.

“You’re far too good at that,” she said.

He lifted his head from her breast and smiled at her with roguish charm. “Would you prefer I was a virgin?”

She laughed in a hard burst.

“Were you ever a virgin? I can’t imagine it.”

“I was…but not for very long,” he said with a wink.

She shrugged out of her bra and released her stroking grasp on him in order to unbutton her jeans and shuck them from her body. She shivered in the chill air and he frowned.

“Let me turn up the heat,” he said.

“Yes. By all means. Let’s turn up the heat,” she said seductively right before she dropped to her knees before him.

“Jesus Christ,” he swore with a gasp as she worked his pants open the rest of the way and drew them down his legs. He braced himself on her shoulder as she helped rid him of his boots and let him step out of his jeans. She then stroked thoughtful fingers over his feet, feeling their smooth warmth. She scraped her nails up through the hair on his calves. She rose up fully on her knees and continued stroking her nails up over the flesh of his thighs, her caress hungry and fierce. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and she found herself looking at his glorious, gorgeous cock. He was so hard and thick…so impressive. She had never known such a beautiful man before. She had never felt such all-consuming hunger for a man either.

Thinking of that hunger, she took him in her hand, closing her fist around him, stroking him eagerly by running her hand from root to tip and back again. Felice could feel his cock twitching in her hand and it made her smile. She enjoyed her effect on him, loved how much he desired her—it was all so apparent in the reactions of his body. The way he tensed and surged into her caresses, the way he groaned, growled, or grunted, the way his breath quickened and his hands came to either side of her head.

Then she opened her mouth and took him in.

He swore fiercely, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks as she felt him tense. She knew immediately it was because he felt he needed to hold back. That he needed to be gentle with her. But she didn’t want gentle. She wanted his savagery. She wanted him to be all that he was.

She knew the best way to encourage him to do just that was to tempt him beyond governing. To take him past his threshold of control.

She sucked him deeply into her mouth. She kept her hand on him, wrapped snugly around the base of his cock, guiding him in and out of her mouth. She sucked and laved in concert with squeezes and caresses. It didn’t take long for him to begin thrusting against her palate in short, controlled movements. But as much as he was conscious of not hurting her he was also, in his mind, pushing her past what she was capable of. She knew he felt like he was bullying her, pressuring her to get his way. She knew it by the curses that left his mouth and the trembling in his body as he tried to restrain himself and failed miserably.

“Enough!” he gasped at last. “I can’t take any more of you like this. Not without losing all control. I don’t want to do that. I want to have you a dozen ways before I do that.”

She decided to allow this. She was just as desperate for him as he was for her and his desperation fueled her passion for him. She rose to her feet with his urging, her mouth clashing with his instantly. His tongue plundered and robbed her of all sense and breath. His hands slid down her body with fierce, hungry caresses. Her naked skin craved his touch, her body curving into his hands at every opportunity. She was no slouch either. Her hands still stroked him. One around his hard cock, the other traveling his body wherever she could reach. She gripped at him. Clung to him. She never wanted to let him go and she conveyed that with her touch. He was eager to be caught and held by her. He no longer sought escape. He had committed to her and like all things he committed to, she would have his undying loyalty. He did not give it lightly, but when he did he was all in.

He grabbed her by both upper arms and pulled her from his mouth. She felt the manhandling through her still sore shoulder and winced ever so slightly. It was not lost on him.

“Damn it, I’m sorry. I forgot.”

He gentled then, bending to scoop her up in his arms and lay her along the center of his bed. Once he had her there he stood back to look at her. He shook his head, reached to grab her panties and slide them down her legs. Then he stood back once more and drank her in with hungry eyes.

“I’ve thought of having you in my bed like this so many times. Sometimes to the point of not being able to think of anything else. And now here you are. I keep trying to tell myself to wake the fuck up. To stop tormenting myself with the impossible, as I’ve done for the past two weeks. To the point where I haven’t slept in a week, haven’t fed for days. I know,” he said at her expression of alarm, “that’s bad. But I—”

“Bad? It’s incredibly dangerous! You said yourself that there are people out there who would exploit any weakness!”

“Well…” He smiled and knelt on the bed, leaning over her. Caging her body with his. “What are you going to do about it?”

A thrill rushed through her as the obvious solution presented itself. She felt her nipples tighten and her breath quicken. A savage craving etched across her every live nerve. Her hands gripped at him and pulled him down to her.

“Please,” she invited him breathlessly. It was the only word she could form. The only plea she could make.

“First, spread your legs for me,” he said on a growl.

She did so eagerly. So quickly it made him chuckle. She raised a knee up on either side of his body, caging his hips between her thighs. She wrapped her calves around the backs of his thighs and drew him down.

“Easy. Not so fast,” he said, but he was breathless as he said it.

“I don’t want to wait,” she told him.

He didn’t respond and she couldn’t tell if it was because he agreed with her or not. She found out the answer when he reached between her legs and settled a stirring touch against her flesh there. He was going to take his time. He would not be rushed by her impatience or his own. He had the time to enjoy her at last and he was going to take full advantage of it.

His strong fingers circled her clit, waking up all the nerves around it, as his mouth began to trail down the skin of her body. First at her collarbone, briefly pausing to kiss the closed wound on her shoulder, and then down to pay homage to her breast. As his fingers searched her, his mouth took command of her nipple, closing the connection between the two erogenous zones. She moaned, her back arching. As he worked his magic against her she felt herself spinning off into a world of pure sensation. She had never felt so alive. He made her feel every inch of her own vitality.

Halo swept his touch all around the sensitive flesh between her thighs, stimulating her even as his mouth left her breast and continued inexorably down her body. She was panting for breath, her fingers desperately clutching at his hair and shoulders. She didn’t know if she could bear what he was going to do. It felt all too overwhelming. Part of her wondered if she could possibly survive his skill and allure as a lover. Every time he kissed her he flicked his tongue against her skin, his mouth sucking a little at her flesh, promising the same treatment once he reached his goal.

He reached that goal only moments later. He pressed a kiss at the crest of her mound, then dipped his tongue into the folds beneath it with a flutter both quick and sure. He had drifted his fingers downward to make room for his mouth at her clit and she arched off the bed when one slid into her body, caressing her from the very inside of herself. All the while his free hand coasted over her skin wherever he could reach. Sometimes he was at her breasts, others he was touching her thighs. He made certain she perceived him as being everywhere at once.

He worked his particular brand of magic until she went spinning off into her first orgasm, her body alive with the sensations of pleasure riding through her. She gasped for breath, trying to come down from the unbelievable high, but he wouldn’t let her. He inserted a second finger inside of her and continued to dance his tongue against her clit.

“Stop!” she gasped. “Please! I want you…inside of me.”

“I am inside of you,” he said, breaking away from her body to flash her a wicked grin.

“You know what I mean,” she said in breathless exasperation. “I want you to fuck me…and feed from me. I want to feel that again. I need to feel it again. Now. While we have the time to enjoy it and indulge in it. Not like before.”

He made a savage sound, surging up her body and kissing her mouth fiercely. She tasted herself on his tongue and moaned at the eroticism of it. He knew why she reacted and it made him react in equal measure.

Then suddenly he was flipping her over, pressing the front of her body into the mattress for a brief moment before grabbing her hips and jerking her up onto her hands and knees. His rough handling only served to excite her. She backed her bottom up against him, even as he moved into place behind her.

He shaped the globes of her buttocks with his large hand, reinserting his fingers for the briefest moment, enlivening her nerves once more right before he pulled them out and notched the head of his cock to her vaginal opening. Then, with a rending thrust, he was inside of her. One of his hands was gripping her hip, pulling her back onto him even as he thrust forward deep and true. The clash of their bodies rocked them both forward and then back again. Then he was bending over her back, whispering hotly into her ear.

“I’m going to fuck you as I feed from you. It’ll be like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Are you ready for it?”

“Yes!” she gasped.

“Good,” he said fiercely as he swept her hair aside, exposing her neck. He thrust inside of her hard, rocking her body, even as he affixed his mouth to the knob of bone at the top of her spine. She tensed, felt her nipples tightening and her body slickening even more from the sensual anticipation. He teased her only a brief moment, flicking his tongue against her skin, but he was just as desperate for her as she was for him. Perhaps even more so as he was so in need of a feed.

And she wanted to feed him. She wanted to give him sustenance. She wanted to be everything to him. Everything vital and necessary. Everything he couldn’t live without.

She felt his mouth suck at her sensitive flesh briefly, then gasped when he suddenly and savagely bit down on her. She wondered for the briefest instant where those wicked fangs came from, and where they went when he wasn’t feeding. Then it no longer mattered to her. She felt the electricity of her own body suddenly going in reverse; instead of signals radiating outward, they began to draw inward, up to the juncture where her impulses from her brain went to the top of her spine. Numbness followed, dizzying pleasure as well. She felt him penetrating her in two separate ways, stimulating her in both ways. She gasped for her every breath, moaned and panted as pleasure continued to cascade through her, even as he drew the impulses of her brain into himself, feeding on her energy. Feeding on her.

The feeding took longer this time, perhaps because he wasn’t in a life-or-death moment and he wanted to draw it out…which was fine with her. As each moment passed he thrust harder and harder into her, their bodies connecting and surging together.

Then suddenly he released her and every impulse in her body returned to normal, if it could be called normal to feel a rush of sensitive energy along every nerve of her body all at once. She orgasmed from the wild sensations, her body going tense from head to toe, locking into the pleasure. She heard him groan against her ear and she wanted to wonder how it felt for him, except she was too selfishly involved in her own ecstasy. That was okay, she realized a moment later, because he was being just as selfish. He surged into her body once more then held himself rigid against her, crying out with animalistic intensity as he joined her in the rush of orgasm.

They collapsed together, release rushing through their nerves and muscles. His weight was heavy along the back of her body, his breath spooled rapidly against her ear.

“That was…” he panted harshly.

“Amazing,” she finished for him, equally without breath.

He chuckled, the sound warm and inviting in her ear. She liked this side of him. The relaxed, humorous side. She wriggled around beneath him until she was on her back and they were pressed together breast to chest. She looked into his eyes and could swear she saw electrical sparking deep within his pupils. But she was so dizzy with the aftermath of pleasure she would never be sure.

“Was I enough?” she asked him softly.

“What do you mean?” he asked, puzzled.

“Was I enough to feed you? To sate you? Did I give you everything that you needed?”

“And then some,” he told her fiercely as his hands tightened on her body and ravaged her mouth for long moments. When he finally came up for air he said, “Never doubt that you are enough for me, I wish I could make you feel what this is like for me, I wish I could come up with adequate words to describe it. But I’m no poet. I don’t have the words to tell you how your energy electrifies and invigorates me. How hard with need it makes me. How wildly content it makes me.”

“You just did,” she whispered, tears coming to her eyes. “I hope it is always this way.”

“I cannot feed from you too often,” he warned her. “It would weaken your immune system, make you more vulnerable to disease. No more than once every two weeks. Preferably a little longer.”

“Once every two weeks,” she insisted. “I will look forward to it. I will plan it to the very second.” She hesitated. “We can plan other things as well. Where we will live. How we will live. What the future holds for us.”

“We have time for all of that. Right now I want to bask in you. Bask in this energy and in you. I want to enjoy the knowledge that you are finally safe from Roth and Michael. And I want to pretend that nothing will ever threaten us again.”

“Nothing will,” she insisted.

But she knew that, in his heart, he did not believe that. That he was preparing himself for more. That he was forcing himself to accept that possibility and the steps he would have to take to see to it that it was dealt with and she was kept safe.

She did not know about the hovering threat of Draz, and he did not tell her.

“You are my precious one,” he said to her instead. “I suspect what I feel for you is the deepest sort of love. I don’t know for certain because I’ve never felt it before. There is very little I have not experienced in my wild, decadent life. But this is the wildest and most decadent feeling that I have ever felt. I am convinced it is the wildest and deepest love for you.”

She laughed softly, cleared her throat of its sudden and extraordinary tightness of emotion. She knew this was a huge step for him. Not only the feeling itself, but for him to risk telling her about it…to expose his vulnerability before she exposed hers. That touched her more than anything anyone else in the world could have offered her.

“I love you too,” she whispered to him fiercely.

“How do you know?” he asked honestly.

“I love others in my life, but this is different. This is beyond the devotion of a family bond. Or even the fancy of a past love. I think I never knew what love was until I knew this.”

He laid back in satisfaction, drawing her close to his side.

“I think you’re gonna have to say this to me several times a day every day. Just to remind me of how awesome we are.”

“Will you need so much reminding? Can’t you feel it on your own?” she said with a tease.

“I can feel it on my own,” he agreed, pulling her in for a fierce kiss, letting himself be distracted by the lushness of her mouth for a moment. Then he lifted away and said, “You are everything to me. I simply want to hear that I am everything to you. And…I want you to tell me the minute you stop feeling this way. I don’t want to keep you longer than you are willing to stay. I want us to deal honestly with each other.”

“We will,” she insisted. And just as vehemently she said, “But it won’t be me who grows tired of this relationship.” Her tone was fierce and utterly sure. Absolutely believable. She made certain of it. She wanted him to know the depth of her devotion, and she wanted to let him know he would always have a way out if one day he should decide to take it.

But that day was not today. And if it were in her power to do so she would see to it that day never came. She would make him happy.

“I do not need an escape clause,” he whispered against her temple. “I am in this to stay.”

“Even though you’ve never stayed anywhere before?” she asked.

“I’ve never had a reason to stay before.” He kissed her on the corner of her lips. “I have one now.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “For investing in me.”

“An easy investment with excellent returns,” he said with a chuckle. “Now…now that all of that is settled, I want to lie with you and hold you. I want us to keep each other warm.”

“It is terribly chilly in here,” she remarked.

“I know. Let me turn up the heat,” he said, moving to get out of the bed. But she stopped him.

“Don’t go,” she said. She wriggled around with him until they were both under the covers. They snuggled down together in each other’s arms.

“There. Now we’re right where we’re supposed to be,” she said softly. She nuzzled her face against his chest.

“I don’t know why I would have wanted it any other way,” he said with a frown. “I almost pushed you out of my life. If you hadn’t come after me…”

“I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

“I can be very stubborn. I still have reservations. But I also believe in myself…just as you believe in me. I can keep you safe.”

“I worry more about you than I do myself. You’re the one who goes out there hunting after those monsters.”

“You know, you still have to face the committee. They still haven’t decided if you will keep your memories.”

“Actually, yes they have. I met with them today. I convinced them that I could keep their secret—and that I was in love with you and would be devoted to you, and that they had no right to take that away from me. They agreed.”

“Without consulting me?” He frowned.

“Apparently they felt it was high time someone reeled you in.”

His frown faded and a corner of his mouth lifted. “It sounds like something those pompous busybodies would do.”

“Well, they were right, weren’t they?”

“They usually are, damn them.”

She laughed at him. “Is that a bad thing?”

“I hate it when they are right. It just makes them more obnoxious. In this case, however, I will forgive them and thank them.”

“And so you should,” she said primly. “In fact, you have a lot of thanking to do.”

“Oh?”

“Rafe. Danton. For looking out for me.”

“I’ve already done so. You may not have seen me, but I was keeping an eye on you. Making sure you were safe. From a distance, to protect you, but I was counting on Rafe and Danton, and they didn’t let me down.”

“You have more friends than you realize.”

“Perhaps,” he said with a smile. “But I only need one.”

He kissed her shoulder, just above her healing wound.

“What will you do now?” he asked her then. “We can’t carry on a relationship with me in the city and you upstate.”

“We’ll figure something out.”

“You can open a shop in the Village. They always have eclectic stores.”

“I don’t know if I could pay the rent.”

“We’ll use my money. God knows I have enough of the stuff and nothing else worth spending it on.”

“We have to have a home,” she said. “A real home. With all our own things.”

She watched him closely as she said it. Looked for fear or the instinct to flee from the idea of putting down roots. She saw none of it. She smiled in ultimate pleasure when he said, “I can get us a very nice apartment in the vampire building. It will help keep you protected. They have lovely homes.”

She didn’t ask why he’d not lived there in the first place. She already knew. He felt like an outsider. Like something to be feared and avoided. Well, she was going to change all of that. She was going to ease him back into the fold of his own people. She wouldn’t let him feel like he was all alone in the world any longer.

“Don’t count on me not to fuck it up,” he said gruffly when she told him as much. “Don’t try to change me.”

“Not you. Them. The way they look at you,” she said.

“I like the way they look at me. They are scared of me. That’s exactly what I want.”

“Well. Maybe for most of them. But surely there are some you wouldn’t mind letting close.”

“Depends. How close are we talkin’?”

She laughed at the surly remark. “Don’t worry. You can stay curmudgeonly whenever it suits you. Just…I can’t be the only one you let in. And I know you’re lonely. You have to be.”

“I’m not,” he denied. But there wasn’t that much power behind the denial. “I’ll have you. That’ll be more than enough for me.”

He pulled her head down so he could kiss the top of it. She heard him breathe in the scent of her hair, then felt him trail his face down the side of hers, kissing her temple, her cheek, her lips.

“Now, are we going to yammer about me all night or are you going to screw around with me at some point?”

She burst out in a bright laugh. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Yeah, well…you love me that way.”

“I do. I do very much so.” She brought her hands up to cup his face between them, making sure he met her eyes. “Just the way you are. All of you.”

“I know the feeling,” he said softly, reaching to kiss her lips. “I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“I’m glad…because I can be quite pompous and a little bit preachy.”

“I noticed,” he said with a chuckle. “Preachy more than pompous. Sure of yourself is a better term. As I said, just the way you are. I’m not going to change you.”

“All right. I’m glad. We can be just the way we are together.”

“I like the sound of that.”

Halo rolled on top of her, kissing her deeply. Felice was overwhelmed with a sense of happiness and pure joy. She couldn’t remember ever being so happy. She wanted to share the feeling with the world…but she would settle for him. She kissed him back and held him to herself. She wasn’t letting go and he wasn’t going to let her.

And that was just the way it should be.