Belford Christian University.
The freshly painted blue and white sign boasted a glare from the setting sun. My eyes adjusted as we got out of my car and made our way to the perfectly manicured football field.
There were streams of people making their way alongside us toward the field, to the left of the parking lot. My stomach clenched with discomfort as I watched the faces of countless mourners. Most of them wore blank stares and walked in silence. But the two young girls behind us were talking, and it caught my attention.
“I just can’t believe this happened. He was so nice, why would someone do this to him?” The voice directly behind me softened before the higher-pitched one chimed in.
“I don’t know, it’s so sad.”
Disgust and confusion consumed me at the same time. The tightening in my chest made it hard to breathe at the thought of this being a deliberate act. This wasn’t a car accident or a sickness—this was intentional, and it shocked me. We lived in a large city, but it was a seemingly quiet one. You didn’t hear about bad things happening very often.
“It’s really scary. I hope they catch whoever did it.” The first girl spoke once more before the two became silent the rest of the walk into the stadium. I glanced over at Jackson, hoping he had listened to the conversation but came to the realization he hadn’t been paying attention. He wore a blank expression and stared straight ahead, although my prying eyes were begging him to look over at me.
As the crowd gathered around a small podium in the center of the field, a few students began handing out candles inside plastic cups, each one using the one before the pass the flame.
Jackson’s bored and annoyed expression got under my skin. Why didn’t he have more compassion for what happened, for the poor kid’s parents? I knew this whole event was disrupting his drinking time, but the fact that whiskey was more important upset me even more. I couldn’t pinpoint the day that alcohol had taken such a high priority in his life, but I had no doubt it was there.
“Thank you all for coming,” a somber voice boomed over a loudspeaker, causing me to jump. “It’s a sad day at Belford University, and I know everyone is in a state of shock. And although Jasper’s parents aren’t here tonight, we do want them to know we’re thinking of them and praying for them during this tragedy.”
Sobs began to echo around me as the man continued to speak about the life of this young man that was unexpectedly cut too short. I focused on his voice until the moment a face appeared on the jumbo screen.
The image was of a young man with black hair that wisped over his eyebrows, his big, honey-colored eyes radiated innocence. And although he was good looking, that wasn’t what drew my attention to the large photo in front of me. My breathing became shallow when I realized just how much he reminded me of Jackson. The resemblance was uncanny, and the lump in my throat grew larger.
I pried my eyes away from the screen and back to the podium as a uniformed officer stood beside the other man.
“Please know that the Belford Police Department is doing everything they can to get answers. But this is something we’ve never experienced before at BCU, and we are asking that if anyone has any information, no matter how small, please contact the authorities. Nothing is insignificant.” He paused and scanned the crowd, allowing us time to absorb his words. “As most of you know by now, this is an open investigation, and we ask that you give the family their privacy during this time. But we are here now, to honor the life of Jasper Huitt. His sister, Kelly, requested that we play a couple of his favorite songs to honor him, and that’s what we will do as we close. Please feel free to stay as long as you need. We won’t rush anyone out. Thank you.”
My eyes were drawn back to the large picture of the boy as the music began to play.
“Let’s go,” Jackson demanded before turning his back to me and making his way through the horde of people behind us.
I wanted to argue that we should at least wait until the music was over, but he weaved through the somber bodies without taking a moment to glance back. So I followed his path, repeatedly apologizing as I made my way through the mourners.
I jogged a few steps once I cleared the students in order to catch up with Jackson.
“Why are you in such a rush?” I asked quietly as we made our way closer to my car.
“Because I’m ready to get home. It’s my day off. I made an appearance. Good enough.” He stood at the driver’s side door, tapping his foot and holding his hand out for the keys. He didn’t seem drunk anymore, but I didn’t want to take the chance of him getting pulled over.
“I can drive.” I scooted past him to get closer to the door.
“I can drive.” Where my words had been meant to soothe him, his were anything but. Irritation hung heavy in his voice, as well as his actions when he grabbed the keys from my hand.
“Whatever. I’m not fighting with you.” I rolled my eyes and walked around the car to the passenger side, sliding inside my Honda.
We were both in sour moods, so instead of talking—or arguing—we shared the space in silence. I pulled my cell phone from my purse and opened the Safari app, needing to know what had happened to the poor kid. It didn’t take long to find the story.
LOCAL COLLEGE STUDENT FOUND DEAD IN TRINITY PARK.
My hand went over my mouth as I scrolled through the article, reading about the All-American college kid who was strangled in his car and left for dead in the wooded area of the park close to the university. There were currently no leads, but there was an active investigation.
“He was murdered,” I vocalized my concern, glancing over at Jackson. When he didn’t acknowledge me, I continued to myself. “That’s so sad.”
“Yep.” His one-syllable response left me unnerved.
“Where’s your compassion?”
“Fuck, Rach. I didn’t know the kid. You can’t get all emotional over every person who dies. You’d be sad all the time,” he snapped at me but didn’t look in my direction.
“Well, okay then,” I uttered beneath my breath. With my attention set on the blur of trees outside the window, I wondered where the man I married had disappeared to. The one who cared about my feelings more than anything else. The one who did everything within his power to make me happy. I hadn’t seen that man in a long time.
As soon as we got home and walked through the front door, Jackson went straight to the kitchen. I knew his first stop was the liquor cabinet. But I ignored him as I made my way to the bathroom, deciding a long bath would be a good distraction from him and his whiskey.
I relaxed my body into the steaming water that smelled of jasmine with a hint of lemongrass and tried to shut my mind off, doing my best to concentrate on the music in my ears. But the only thing I could focus on was the face from the big screen on the football field.