“To our future,” Kyle says as he raises his wine glass.

I’m going away tomorrow to spend a week at the factory that manufactures parts for our cars. It’s also the first week of me officially being at the helm of Judd racing. Our incumbent drivers will see this season out. I have enough on my plate trying to understand the organization side of the trade without concentrating on driving as well. Hopefully next year, I’ll have immersed myself sufficiently to be able to hand over the controls to Kyle and then I’ll take over one of the seats. My ultimate goal is to race again and to beat Chase. As I think about that prospect, an ice-cold resolve freezes any trepidation at leaving Kyle behind. This is only for the short term; it will be fine. We’ve weathered all sorts of traumas in the life we’ve shared. This will be a breeze.

“To the rest of our lives.” I clink my glass against his before swirling its contents and watching as the viscosity twinkle against the flame of the candlelight. Inhaling its aroma, I lift my head and notice Kyle eyeing me with his own version of nerves.

There’s nothing new to say; we’ve been through everything already so instead of speaking, I hold out my hand. He meets me in the middle of the table, his wedding ring catching in the half-light. My heart swells. I didn’t think I could feel such devotion toward another person, but this man, well, he just does it for me.

“This wine is delicious.” I don’t want to get overly emotional tonight. We’re both ignoring the pain of my leaving tomorrow and this is supposed to be a night where we celebrate our collective achievements.

“Hmm, I wonder if we could buy a few bottles for home.”

I hadn’t expected the atmosphere to be quite so stilted between us. We’ve both agreed this is the best thing for us. Purchasing the team provides the necessary long-term security once my racing career is finally over.

Us living separate lives is only for the short term.

But something feels final.

It’s that sixth sense that you can never put your finger on, but both of you feel. When something is off balance and the more you work to put your lives back on track, the more your aim spirals out of your grasp.

“What do you want?” Kyle asks.

I survey the menu as though I’ve not looked, instead of making my usual quip about eating him. Much as I still want to, the thick air stops the light words in their tracks. I continue my perusal of food options, even though I already knew when I walked in what I was going to select. My friend, a regular here, and one of my new investors has already filled me in on her favorite.

“Daisy recommended the osso buco and bone marrow tortellini and that girl knows her food so I’m going to having that. You?”

He laughs, which lights up his face, and with it my soul. The tension which had been creasing his forehead lifts and with it so too does the heavy atmosphere was weighing down our mood for the entire day.

We set aside today to spend together. A day where we can enjoy some personal time before I take off and life gets even crazier than it has been already. But, instead of being the celebration we both intended, it’s turned into a mourning of our old life. I’ve never been more thankful to see the familiar twinkle in his eye.

“Don’t eat too much, I have plans for you,” he says.

“I had hoped you would have. I assume I should consume a light dinner and a little more wine?”

“That could work well.” His smile grows broader and I don’t care where we are; I lean over the damned table for two which separates us, and I kiss him.