I wave as he drives off. I stand in the house we remodeled to suit our lives together as he speeds off down the gravel and out of our electric gates. This is a huge place at the best of times. Elliott bought it as an investment, so his thinking was the bigger the better, but now, well, here I am alone.

Its stone walls echo with his missing energy, a reminder of how life will be for the next year, minimum. Thank goodness I have to get to my job and don’t have hours to meander from room to room. I grab a hold of myself. ‘This is for the best, now come on get on with this and stop mooning like some love-struck teenager.’ I will not allow the lead which is residing in the pit of my stomach to take up residence.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I wanted us to make this investment, and still believe it's the right choice for our future. I do.

I want a new future with Elliott, one where we are in control of our own destinies and we’re not at the mercy of a moody boss. I also want to be able to provide that for other people. No couple should have to go through what we did when Elliott and I decided to marry. Our firm will be built on family values. It will be a place where people committed to each other will want to work. Let’s face it, with the amount of time we all tour around the world together, we’re more like families than co-workers. It’s inevitable that people will fall in love. And we will have our pick of the best employees.

It's only now that I realize that the future is at the expense of today.

For now, I don't have the choice to leave. I must show up and excel at the job I have now. I must perform to my absolute best so that the potential threat of Elliott buying a competitor doesn’t hinder their trust in me. Because that trust will allow me to learn to the max and develop my peripheral skill set.

The papers are not helping this morning. Elliott is always in social media and Jessie is a trooper, but today she has earned her keep.

Elliott is spread across the back pages, cutting a ribbon, and unveiling the signage of Judd Racing.

He’s also in the business pages, with projections for profit output based on the investment interest of having such a huge racing name now running his own team.

And he’s in the gossip columns talking about how tough it will be living apart from his husband.

There I am again, full loop. Slapped back down from my temporary celebration as Elliott’s unveiling impacts on how trustworthy I’m perceived to be at my job for one of Elliott’s main competitors. Crap!

There’s a collective cheer when I amble through the garage doors an hour later.

“We thought you wouldn’t be in today,” Greg the number two mechanic shouts above the racket.

“Ha-ha, nice try. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” I give him a friendly shove.

“Ah, we can but hope,” Ryan jibes.

“Listen, for the record, I’m still here and I’m still working as hard as I ever did. Harder probably because I’m not rushing home to Elliott now.”

“Ah, you’re missing him already.”

That’s about the size of it. “Oh, shut up would you. Let’s get on with some work.” I stomp off, and it’s more dramatic than I would have hoped, but at least they know better than to follow me.