Rusty

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Her comment about me being a fast mover wasn’t right. I was quite the opposite. But with her, everything was different. She was different. Where my world was dark and murky, filled with storm clouds and doom, she represented brightness and sunshine, joy and laughter. I’d never experienced anything like her before. My life hadn’t offered me much of that until she walked into it. And I was going to make it my goal to win her over. Yeah, I’d only just met her. Yeah, this was fast. Really fast. But I already knew Lee Marston was mine. She was meant for me just as I was for her. Maybe she didn’t know it yet, but she would soon.

After our dinner had ended and we moved from under the covered bridge, we gazed at the sky painted with stars.

“Have you ever felt like this was placed here just to make us feel small somehow?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Look at how vast it is.” She swept her arm across the space before us. “We’re like ants in comparison.”

“I believe God has a great sense of humor.”

“In which way?” she asked.

I picked up her arm and repeated her motion. “That vastness is of such great magnitude, he wants to tease us with it every night with its beauty. Humans have a tendency to believe we are so advanced … to think we have such brilliant technology. But yet look at what’s beyond us … what we don’t know … or can’t touch. God is dangling that carrot in front of us.”

“But why?”

I shrugged. “Who’s to say? Maybe to make believers out of all of us. It’s hard to deny that this”—I extended my arm out this time—“had to come from somewhere. Oh, I know. The Big Bang Theory and all. But that original particle had to originate from somewhere. And why can’t that coincide with God’s creation?”

“You’re preaching to the choir here. When I was in and out of it after the explosion, I saw all kinds of things that only confirmed my belief.”

“I lost all my faith in God when I was a kid living in the hell I grew up in.” Flashes of my father’s face nailed me in the sternum, and I sucked in air.

Her hand touched my thigh and she asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

I snorted with disgust. “I am now. But back then …” my voice trailed off.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Generally, I’d say no. It’s not something I ever talk about except on rare occasions, but with you, I feel different. My old man was basically a monster. He had his hands into all sorts of criminal activities, but the one that sent him behind bars was an illegal porn ring. He got mixed up with this group where they’d drug women and then video them having sex. Those videos would be sold on a porn hub afterward.”

“That’s awful.”

“My foster sister testified against him because she was one of the women he had drugged and raped.”

“Wait, are you serious? He did this to his own foster kid?”

“He raped her constantly while she lived with us. She ended up getting pregnant and running away. It was a tragic situation, all the way around. Her life was worse than mine. Her mom had passed and then she landed with us, only to find herself stuck with a vile animal like my father. I wanted to help her so much, but he threatened me. Told me he’d kill me if I opened my mouth or tried to intervene. Back then I didn’t weigh a hundred pounds.”

“Jesus. That’s … I don’t have any words for what that must’ve been like.”

I rub my head because this is the part I hate the most. “Here’s the worst. She came to me, begging to run away with her. I mentioned going to the police, but she didn’t want that because she said they’d send us into foster care. The idea freaked her out since she was living in a hell. Now that I truly understand what she’d been facing, I get it. But then I thought the cops would help. The system had to have been so broken that there were people like my parents who were able to get through. I’m not sure how it is today. I can only pray it’s better. She feared she’d land into another home like ours. So she ran and I stayed. She made it though. She turned eighteen and was free. When I turned eighteen, I left too and joined the Navy. That was my ticket to freedom. But to this day, the guilt still eats at me about not going with her.”

“But why? You just said she made it.”

“She did. But the baby she had didn’t. He died of a rare congenital heart defect. And she was all alone to bear that by herself. Had I been with her, I could’ve helped her get through that.”

“Oh, Rusty, you were still a kid. You didn’t know. Couldn’t have known. If there is anyone to blame, it’s your father. He was the one that caused all the pain. It wasn’t you.”

Smiling sadly, I said, “Yeah, I tell that to myself all the time, but it doesn’t help much. Knowing that my sister is happy and is married now and has two healthy kids makes me happy. She doesn’t blame me either.”

“I wouldn’t expect her to. Where is she now?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

“My foster sister is Midnight Drake.”

Her mouth silently says the name and out loud she asked, “The movie star?”

“Uh huh.”

“That’s your sister?”

“Yep.”

“Oh my God. I remember now hearing about her when she went to court. But that was a few years ago and I was on my first tour, so I was getting the information sort of piecemeal.”

“Yeah. She’s the one who brought my dad down and then I also testified against him.”

“Wow. That must’ve been some trial. And your mom?”

“She died shortly after I left home. She was a bad alcoholic. She was aware of what he did because she got her share of beatings too. I imagine the alcohol was her way of dealing with him.”

She grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. “I can’t imagine living like that. My family is so normal and loving.”

“You should appreciate that and never ever take that for granted.”

Squeezing our locked fingers, she said, “You’re right. I never have and never will. Family is everything.”

She drove me back to the inn that night and I held her hand the whole way home. “Tell me this isn’t too much.”

“What?” she asked.

“You and me. I’ve talked your ear off, telling you things you may not have been ready to hear. I hope I didn’t freak you out.”

After she parked the car, she swiveled a bit to face me. I relaxed a bit when her hand touched my cheek. “I think we’re good.”

“Just good?”

She laughed and it was a great sound. It was bubbly like a child’s when they got excited over something. “Okay, we’re great.”

“Now you sound like Tony the Tiger in the Frosted Flakes commercial.”

“Oh my God. How’s this? We’re exceptional.”

“Much better. And I’m not Speedy. Never have been in the past anyway.”

“No?”

I slowly shook my head. “But there’s just something about you, Lee, that’s hit me.”

“How so?”

I cupped a hand to her neck and drew her closer. “I want to be close to you. In many ways.” Then I kissed her and it was the sweetest honey I’d ever tasted. I gained satisfaction from the fact that she returned my kiss. “But not just this. It’s more than this.”

“Tell me.”

I took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I’m not sure if I can. It’s in here.” I laid her palm over my heart. “You’re probably thinking I’m super weird now.”

“No, not at all. I want to be close to you too. When I saw you walk into the cafe today, I felt you were different. But ever since the explosion, I’ve been wary of … well, you know. So I didn’t expect anything.”

It takes all my self-control not to pull her across the seat and put her in my lap. “Maybe you were only waiting.”

“Waiting?”

I lower my voice and say, “Waiting for me … for the right one.”

Her hand flies over her mouth.

“Is that so difficult to believe?”

“No. It’s not that. It’s something else. My great-grandparents. You won’t believe this.”