Rusty

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The plane ride from Ramstein back to the states wasn’t the greatest but I refused to complain. I was alive and that’s all that counted. I don’t remember anything that happened after they dragged my ass across the border. The next thing I remembered was waking up on the transport flight to Ramstein and being told I’d been shot. My first thoughts were of Lee and how she must’ve felt this way. Only her injuries were far worse than mine. Then I wanted to call her, but when I tried, I realized her number was in my cell phone, back in my locker at the base. I didn’t count on this … being gone this long or getting shot in the fucking leg.

As soon as they told me I was headed home, I asked the guys to meet me at the hospital with my shit. I wanted to let my girl know I was okay. Knowing her, she was worried about me. Hopefully, they wouldn’t keep me long and I could get back to Drummond to show her that I was fine.

I was checked into my room and a nurse showed up to let me know my physician would be in soon to give me the rundown. They wanted to do a thorough follow up on me since that bullet had nicked my femur. The doctor at Ramstein didn’t think it would pose a problem but the one here wanted to see all my tests just to be sure.

The impact to my chest knocked me to the ground. It drove all the air from my lungs and it felt like a fist had been shoved straight through my sternum. It was impossible to draw in the tiniest of breaths, and everything went gray, then turned black. Afterward, I discovered my chest was badly bruised from taking the direct shot. Kevlar was a beautiful thing, but the impact had been a fucking powerful force. I’d take the bruise any day over the actual wound. It would’ve killed me, no doubt.

Drifting off because I didn’t sleep a whole hell of a lot on the ride over, it was her scent in my dreams that made me want her next to me. I missed that woman more than I could say. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her strands of gold as they framed her perfect face and her Pacific Ocean eyes pulling me into their warmth. Her plump lips begged to be kissed but her smile, the one she reserved only for me, made me feel special.

The hand on my forehead had me blinking awake and the vision before me wasn’t a dream at all. She was there in the flesh, smiling that perfect smile, and then bending down to kiss me.

“I never missed anyone or anything as much as I’ve missed you these last two weeks.” My arms wound around her as we held each other tight.

“I was so worried about you when I didn’t hear anything.”

“My phone. Your number.”

“I know.” Her breath tickled my neck. “Stephen and Eric told me.”

“How did they tell you?”

“I came to Virginia Beach … to your place. I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Really?” I pulled back to look at her beautiful face. “You went there to wait for me?”

“Yes. It was brutal being in Drummond and not knowing anything. I figured you’d come home first and I’d be waiting for you.”

“Waiting.”

“I’ll always be waiting.”

“You will, won’t you?”

“Yes. I promise.”

I only stared at her, because for two long weeks all I had was the image in my mind. Now she was real, and I was touching her. I didn’t want this moment to end. “It’s surreal.”

“What is?”

“You being here. I can hardly believe it.”

“Believe.” Then she kissed me again. “You look perfect. And your beard has grown.”

“Haven’t shaved in two weeks. Kinda reminds me of your legs.” I winked at her as she rubbed her hand over it.

“It’s much more sexy than my legs, but then again, so are you.”

“Stop. I haven’t seen you for so long. The beast won’t be able to take it.”

“You’re so bad.” She laughed at me.

I took her hand and laid it over the beast. “See what I mean?”

Her eyes went to where her hand was and then back to my face. “I do. Oh my. The beast doesn’t seem to be affected by your injuries.”

“The beast is … beastly. What can I say?”

She tried her best not to laugh by pressing her lips together. It was an epic fail.

“Tell me about what happened.”

I gave her the story to best of my recollection. “My memory is foggy.”

“Are you in pain?”

“Not now, but I was.”

“Can I see it?”

“It’s bandaged.”

The door swung open and a youngish doctor came in. “Lieutenant Garrett? I’m Dr. Sanders. Can we talk?” He glanced at Lee.

“Absolutely. Anything you say to me can be said in front of her. This is Lee Marston.”

“Nice to see you, Dr. Sanders.” Lee held out her hand for him to shake.

“Lieutenant, I have good news. I’ve taken a look at all your X-Rays and tests and it appears that everything looks great as far as your femur is concerned. It should heal nicely without any long-term issues. I think in another day or two, you can be released. We need to finish these antibiotics and then set up physical therapy for you at home. How does that sound?”

“Like a great plan. Do I have any restrictions?”

“I’d like you to be non-weight bearing for another week and then use one crutch for one more. After that, let your pain predict things. How is your pain level?”

“Not bad, but then again I haven’t done any walking on it.”

“Let’s keep it that way for the time being. I’ll give you a referral to a local physician as well, along with a pain prescription. I would like you off those ASAP.”

“I haven’t been taking anything for the past two days.”

“Good. I’ll check in on you tomorrow morning.”

“Thanks, doc.”

He left, and Lee said, “That’s great news.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“I can take you home.”

Lee ended up booking a hotel room for the night and two days later I was able to leave the hospital. Once we got back to my apartment, she tried to wait on me, but I forced her to let me do things for myself.

“The sooner I’m up and around, the faster I’m able to recover. Think about when you were injured. Remember how your muscles atrophied?”

“Yes. It was awful.”

“That’s what I’m going to avoid by doing this. I have to stay in tip-top shape for my job. If I do this, then when I’m recovered, going back will be that much easier.”

“I understand.”

But something was off. “Lee, what is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes, there’s something.”

“Okay. Rusty, when you were gone, I was completely in the dark. I’m not sure I can do this. Living with not knowing anything … where you are … what’s happening.”

“Jesus, Lee. What do you want me to say? I can’t tell you where we are and what our missions are all about.”

She clasped her hands together and said, “I know. I realize that, but not knowing what you’re doing or what’s happening to you was a total mind fuck to me.”

“I can imagine.”

“Can you?”

I thought about it for a moment and then recognized I couldn’t. “No. You’re right. Had it been you that was gone for two weeks, I would’ve gone crazy.”

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Her clasped hands were now in front of her stomach, like maybe she was hurting inside. I went over to her as quickly as my stupid crutches allowed.

“I’m sorry. I really am. But what do you want me to do? I can’t just quit and walk away from this. It’s not how it works.”

“I know. Maybe I need some distance for a while.”

“You just had distance. Two week’s worth. And then you told me you missed me. And you’d always be waiting. What’s it gonna be, Lee?”

“I don’t know. I want it without all the angst of worrying when you’re gone.”

I tipped her chin up and said, “I wish I could give you that. I really do. But I can’t. Just like you wouldn’t have been able to give it to me if you were still in the marines.”

“That’s unfair.”

“Is it?”

She went silent on me.

“Think about it, Lee. But one thing I won’t do is beg. You’ve known from the start what I do. And being from the military, you above anyone should’ve been prepared for this.”

“You’re right. But I guess I wasn’t prepared for my heart to be so wrapped up.”

Lee left the following morning. I wouldn’t beg her to stay. I couldn’t. As much as I cared for her, and I did, she had to figure this thing out.

“Lee, just remember, I’ll be waiting for you.”

She walked away, and I watched as she drove off. My heart was shattered, but there was nothing I could do.