The car pulled into the rear entrance of Club Insomnia and stopped behind a lineup of blacked-out limos and glittering supercars. People were filing into the club, everyone decked out in their best. Just because it was a private, no-press party didn't mean any lack of showboating. The one-upping never stopped in the entertainment world, and I was just as guilty as the rest. I had on my favorite pair of blood-red cowboy boots and a suit I'd ordered to be custom designed by Karl Lagerfeld himself.

I was distracted. I loved these parties because I could get fucked up and not have to worry about cameras or what would end up on the internet the next day, but right now, all I could think about was one thing:

Sylus was gay.

Was the universe playing some kind of joke on me?

I felt like an idiot with the way I'd reacted to it, but the truth was that in my fucked perspective of things, I never could've imagined a man like Sylus to be gay. It just didn't compute. He was everything that my mom made me believe a gay man couldn't be. He was like Dad. A Marine. A fucking no-nonsense badass. So, if he could be gay, then...

Was it fine for me to be, too?

The thought made my head spin. I didn't know what I believed anymore, or what I even knew about myself. It felt like I was being pulled in a hundred different ways, on the verge of tearing.

The door opened and Sylus was standing there, holding it for me. I stepped out of the car, still unable to look him straight in the face. It was partially because I was embarrassed with myself, but mostly because I didn't know if I could control what I was feeling. It was like a wall had been torn down, exposing me to the aching want I felt for this man. How could I fight it?

Did I even want to fight it?

Sylus trailed behind me as I walked into the club. He wore a dark, subtle suit, the kind that was meant to both accentuate his imposing physique and allow him to disappear into the background. It didn't do anything to make him more discreet to me. Even though he was excellent at staying invisible, I could feel his presence and his gaze.

I joined Audrey and her friends, and found myself feeling distracted by the thought of him. I took a quick look around and saw him standing a few dozen feet away where several other bodyguards were keeping watch over their clients. Audrey pulled me to sit with her at one of the half-circle booths, the table in the middle saddled with a crystal bucket filled with ice and bottles of liquor.

"He's hot," Audrey shouted in my ear over the thumping dance music.

"What?"

"Sylus. He's hot."

"I didn't know he was your type," I said. Audrey crossed her arms and gave me a look, but I continued to play dumb. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"He's hot. Don't you think?"

"Not relevant," I replied, my racing pulse betraying my actual feelings.

"Shut the fuck up. I know you do. Remember what you told me, at your birthday party last year?"

This time I didn't need to play dumb. "I can hardly remember that party at all."

She laughed. "You said, 'if a hot gay dude dropped my lap I might take it as a sign from God.' Well, Chris... The sign has been given and it's in the form of that scrumptious hunk of man over there." She nodded in his direction.

Damn. Flashes of memory were coming back to me. A weekend in Nashville. Strippers. Me dancing on one of the poles. Telling Audrey the exact words she'd repeated to me just now.

I looked towards Sylus again and felt my heart skip like a misfiring engine. I'd never been around a man who could set me off in such an immediate, visceral way. Just from laying eyes on him I felt this incredibly powerful pull, like a man being wrangled by a lasso around the waist—or around something else.

Maybe it was the explosive way he'd arrived in my life. My mind kept going to what'd happened last night, poring over every detail I could muster of the drunken memories, repeating every heart-pounding moment. No man had been able to hold so much power over me, physical or otherwise.

"Goddammit," I muttered. "But just because he's gay doesn't mean he's into me."

Audrey grinned like she'd just won gold in the Olympics. I'd just admitted that she was right. I may not have spoken the words out loud, but this was enough for her to declare a triumph.

"Of course not," she said. "But you can make that happen."

"I didn’t exactly get off on the right foot with him," I said.

She took my hands and shook them, excitedly. "You don't know that. You've only just met."

"Anyway, he's my fuckin' bodyguard."

She groaned. "My God. How is this like pulling teeth with you? It's simple, Chris. Do you want the guy or not?"

I squirmed and looked around. The music was blasting, the drinks were flowing and everyone was involved in their own business. No one could hear us. "Yeah," I said. "Fuck. Yeah, I guess I do.”

Those words leaving my mouth was like a green light to my heart. No more misfires, only pedal to the metal. My heart wasn't the only thing that took off. I felt my arousal growing rapidly between my legs, threatening to make a tent out of the soft fabric of my slacks.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, clapping. "Give it up for Chris, everyone!"

"Shut it," I said. Then, I realized something: I had no idea how to get a guy. All my romance was theoretical, just shit I'd written for songs. The art of real-life flirtation wasn't exactly my most practiced skill. "Aw, fuck. What do I do about this?"

"I'll help you as much as I can. I mean, it helps that Sylus is living with you."

"Yeah. Or this could be the biggest fucking disaster waiting to happen."

The DJ cut the music and Audrey's friend, a budding actress named Sylvia Klein, climbed up onto the table, wobbling drunkenly on her heels. "Thank you all so much for being here!" she said, speaking into the microphone. "You have no idea how proud I am of this movie. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I seriously think some awards are in our future!" She pumped the mic into the air and hooted as everyone in the club cheered and whistled. "I think it's time to get this party started. Bring out the shots!" She dragged out the last word and cranked the music back up. People holding trays stacked with double shots of whiskey began to file out onto the club floor, passing them out as Sylvia screamed, "Let's all get all get faded!" into the microphone.

A shot glass appeared in my hand. I swirled its contents, releasing its rich aroma.

"Let's have some fun," Audrey said, holding her glass up.

I tapped mine to hers and was about to drink when Sylus vaulted over the booth and landed onto the seat beside me. I nearly dropped the glass into my lap.

"Relax," I said. "I'm not gonna go crazy." I tossed the shot back and grinned at him. I knew it wouldn't do me any favors to fuck with him like that, but I just couldn't help myself. I immediately grabbed another shot and downed it.

Suddenly, my head was trapped in the vice grip of Sylus's massive bicep. My cheek pressed up against the hard muscles of his abs, surrounding me with the warmth of his body and the deep and spicy aroma that was his scent. It washed over me, filling my senses with an intoxication like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was like breathing fresh air for the first time. Every lungful was better than the last.

He dragged me to my feet and hauled me across the club towards the patio exit, and though I feigned putting up a fight, struggling and protesting, I wasn't in any hurry to get free from the headlock.

He tossed me outside. The club's rooftop patio had an open view of the building next door which was plastered with a massive illuminated billboard featuring my face.

Chris Barker Stevens, it read. New album, 'Open Road to Love' coming soon.

"You're a fuckin' dick," I said, straightening out my suit. "What? Do you like manhandling me, or something? Does it turn you on?"

"And you're a pain in the ass," he grunted. "If you don't like the fact that I'm gay, then say it. I'll be gone tomorrow."

"It doesn't matter to me," I said. "I don't care."

"Don't hit me with no nonsense, Chris," Sylus said, crossing his arms over his chest. My eyes were drawn to the way his suit stretched and tugged, strained by the muscles beneath. "Being a Marine for so long, it didn't take long to develop a sense for when someone is acting different around me because of my preferences. Not that you're too subtle about it, anyhow. If you've got a problem, just admit it. It'll make things a hell of a lot easier for the both of us."

All it would take was a few words to nip this whole thing in the bud. Yeah, I've got a problem. That was all I needed to say and I could remove myself from this entire situation. Derail the train.

"No," I said. "I told you, there's no problem."

"So, I guess I shouldn't expect any cooperation from you. Are you sure you aren't the one who likes being manhandled?"

"Hey. Fuck you."

Old habits die hard. I felt my defenses raise.

Sylus's arms dropped, his hands slipping into his pockets. He studied me, the slightest smile crossing his lips. Again, that feeling like he was reading me like an open book. Maybe he was. Maybe that was why he was able to get me so heated.

"It's strange." He tapped his eyepatch. "God may have taken my eye, but in its place, He left me the power to see people. You say it's no problem. You don't have an issue with it. But I can see that it makes you uncomfortable. You don't like it, but you also don't want to get rid of me. I'm trying to figure out the meaning behind that."

My heart pulsed in my chest, pushing the blood faster and faster through my veins. The two double shots of whiskey were settling in now, making me feel loose, prone to bad decisions. I could feel him turning the pages of my book, coming closer and closer to reaching the secret I'd buried deep within the lines.

He walked towards me, and I found myself backpedaling towards the patio railing.

"You're searching too hard," I said, my voice low.

"I don't think I am," he replied.

I was up against the railing now. Sylus was close enough that I could taste licks of his scent on the air. He felt like he was towering over me, his hands still stuffed nonchalantly in his pockets. As calm as he looked, I felt as taut as a guitar string.

"Then what?" I said. It felt like my voice was barely a whisper. I could feel the excitement rushing to my groin. The arousal of being seen. The intimacy of his penetrating gaze. "Tell me." Expose me. Do it. I wasn't fighting it.

"Are you..."

The patio door burst open and Sylvia Klein stumbled out, giggling as she tugged some guy into a kiss. She turned and saw us standing there and covered her mouth in shock.

"Oh my God," she said. "Chris, I'm such a fan of your music. You have no idea how many times I played 'Pickup Kind of Girl' while I was on set."

"Did it drive anyone to murder?" Sylus asked under his breath.

"I'm super glad you could come. I was so excited when Audrey said she would bring you. You guys are so cute together."

I caught myself sneaking a look at Sylus for his reaction. "Thanks," I said to Sylvia. "But she and I are just friends."

"Oh, okay. Right." She grinned and winked. The guy she was with tugged her hand, drawing her back to kiss her again. "Stop it," she laughed, pushing a hand to his chest.

The door swung open again, and this time it was Audrey, a bottle of vodka gripped in her fist. "Shots!" she shouted. "Shots shots shots shots shots shots! Sylvia,you bitch. Come take a shot with me."

"Yaaaas!" Sylvia shouted, pushing the poor guy away again.

Audrey smirked. She wrapped her hand around the back of my neck and pulled me down to whisper in my ear. "You two would be such a cute couple."

They all disappeared back into the club, leaving Sylus and I alone again. The sounds of the city drifted through the air, accentuating our shared silence. "Are you...? " The words still hung in the air.

"Am I, what?" I asked. Besides a glutton for punishment.

Sylus ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back. He tapped his foot on the ground. "Forget it," he said. "I was mistaken." He moved to go back inside.

The words tumbled out from my mouth without thought. Maybe it was because they'd been clawing to get out for so long that they just couldn't bear to stay locked in any longer. Maybe I was just drunk. Whatever the reason, I wanted him to know.

"No, you're not mistaken."

"What am I not mistaken about?" he asked, slowly turning to look at me.

I frowned. "Don't fuck with me. You know." I could feel heat creeping through my entire body. My face felt like it was on fire.

"No, I don't." His hands were back in his pockets. Calm and easy. "Got a hell of a hunch, but it's not truth until it comes from your own mouth. So, what is it?"

I glared at him. "Yeah.” Then, the words just exploded out. “Yeah, I'm fucking gay, alright? I'm fucking gay."

The words were followed by an echo of silence, like the entire city had gone quiet. I felt a gut-wrenching tug in my chest. I wasn't a crying man, but tears burst from my eyes and poured down my face. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd cried that way. I'd dammed it all up a long time ago.

It felt completely different than when I'd told Audrey my secret. Somehow, saying the words to another man—to him—had triggered something deep inside of me.

"Oh God," I sobbed. "Fuck. God dammit! Why do I have to feel this way? Why—"

Then, Sylus was hugging me. He held me tightly, squeezing my shivering body to his. All I could do was cling to him with my fists as everything poured from me, wrung out like a sponge. In that moment as I cried on the shoulder of a man I hardly knew, I realized just how lonely I'd been.